TMS Outline:Guest:Ann Margret

BRIEF OPENNING

Scooter:Ann Margret,ten seconds to curtain Annie.
Ann Margret:Thank you Scooter.
Gonzo(who's in the dressing room with Ann,and a group of chickens):Hey Scooter,how's this for an openning act?Hit it chickies.(conducts the chickens as they sing the tune of"Bye Bye Birdie")
(Ann Margret laughs while Scooter hangs his head in disapproval.)

OPENNING THEME

OPENNING NUMBER:Jerry & The Monotones perform their rendition of The Rolling Stones' hit"I Can't Get No Satisfaction".

Waldrof:I could never get any satisfaction.
Statler:Why's that?
Waldorf:Because I keep coming to see this show.
(both laugh)D'OOOH HOHOHOHOHOO

BACKSTAGE
Floyd:Who is that hideous lookin' band onstage?
Kermit:Oh that's lil'Jerry and the Monotones.They're a popular band on Sesame Street.
Floyd:They oughta stay on Sesame Street frog.Thems kids cramp my style.(struts off)
Miss Piggy:Oh Kermie,can I ask a teensie weensie favor of vou?
Kermit:Well uh...
Miss Piggy:I've just completed my personal love story for National Enquirer,and I just need vou to pose with me for the magazine.
Kermitiggy,do you not recall what happened when you once did a story for Tongue Magazine?I happen to recall how you almost got fired on account of that.
Miss Piggy:I take that as a no.
Kermit(nods his affirmative)Now if you'll excuse me,I've gotta go introduce Ann Margret.
Miss Piggy:Oh,her(walks away in a huff)

GUEST STAR SPOT:Ann Margret performs"Please Don't Talk About Me When I'm Gone"with a few trick photography camera angles.

Audience loudly and happily applaud,including Statler & Waldorf.

AT THE DANCE:
dance couples
George & Hilda
Bruno(character from Shirley Bassey's 1980 episode)& Annie Sue
Wayne & Wanda
Clifford & Janice

PIGS IN SPACE:Swinetrek gets lost bin hyperspace and lands on a strange planet.According to Professor Strangepork's calculations,they've landed on the planet of Dagobah.The three leave the ship and explore the jungle like planet.There they meet Yoda.
First Mate Piggy:Why do I suddenly feel like I've entered the Star Wars galaxy?

GUEST STAR SPOT:Ann Margret performs a duet with Fozzie Bear.A rendition of Peaches & Herb's hit"I Pledge My Love".

Another rousing cheer from the audience.

MUPPET LAB:Bunsun Honeydew displays a new energetic drink that gives you powers that you've never dreamed possible.Beaker samples the drink,but likes it so much,he drinks too much of it.He ends up hicupping flames of fire uncontrollably.Setting the whole lab on fire.

BACKSTAGE
Miss Piggy:Kermie I want to apologise for putting on the spot earlier tonight.
Kermit:That's quite all right Piggy.
Miss Piggy:I just don't how to express my ongoing love for you.What can I do to please you?
Kermit:You don't have to please me in any way.I love you just the way you are.(The two then engage in a duet rendition of Billy Joel's hit"Just The Way You Are".)

THE SWEDISH CHEF:The Chef attempts to make swedish meatballs.Ann Margret cuts into the sketch and corrects Swedish Chef on how to make swedish meatballs.She even communicates with the Chef speaking in his language.They finally end up making the meatballs so big,that he puts a basketball net against the kitchen wall,and the two of them have a game of basketball.

STATLER:I've never been to Sweden.
WALDORF:You'd love it.They've got enough of those swedish meatballs to make the best bacci balls.
(both laugh)


CLOSING NUMBER:Ann Margret and Miss Piggy perform their rendition of Barbra Striesand and Donna Summer's duet"No More Tears(Enough Is Enough)".They are soon joined by all the rest of the muppets(including Bruno,Annie Sue,George,Hilda,Wayne,Wanda and Jerry & The Monotones)for a delightful disco dance.Statler & Waldorf even come out of their theatre box and get in on it too.

The audience even throws flowers this time around.

CLOSING THEME

STATLER:Yeah I've tasted swedish berries before.
WALDORF:How do they taste?
STATLER:Worse than McDonalds food.
(Swedish Chef storms into the theatre box and angrily hits Statler over the head with a frying pan.)

Very good work.
But may I ask who is Ann Margret and what sort of films, music etc. has she been involved in?

She was most popular during the 1960s,when she was an icon of that era.Ann had starred in the classic 1964 movie"Viva Las Vegas"opposite Elvis Presley.The two of them even had a real life affair.
Another 60s movie Ann is famous for is the classic musical"Bye Bye Birdie".
Incidently she also lended her voice to a cartoon version of herself named"Ann Margrock"in an episode of"The Flintstones".
In case you're wondering what she looks like,she's slim with glamorous long red hair.