T*K*O
(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, That Announcer, D'Snowth, TogetherAgain, and Vibs)
(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, That Announcer, D'Snowth, TogetherAgain, and Vibs)
Episode #: 19
Title: “Speaking Terms”
Original Airdate: 17-Dec-2005
Written by: Tim Hill, Doug Lawrence, Robert McNally-Scull, D’Snowth
Created by: MrsPepper
Guest Stars: Erine81981
Special Muppet Guest Appearances by: Johnny Fiama and Sal Manilla
D’SNOWTH: NO I WASN’T!
VIC ROMANO: YES YOU WERE!
D’SNOWTH: NO I WASN’T!
VIC ROMANO: YES… YOU… WERE!
MRSPEPPER: (Exits office and blows air horn) What the heck is going on here?
Vic Romano and D’Snowth both babbled to MrsPepper, who simply blew the air horn again.
MRSPEPPER: Look at you two, you’re acting like little kids! We need to settle this dispute like adults!
D’SNOWTH: You mean we get to be on a trashy talk show?
MRSPEPPER: That’s not a bad idea!
ANNOUNCER: Live, from Muppet Theatre, it’s The Johnny Fiama Show, with our host with most, who also has a monkey body guard, Johnny Fiama!
JOHNNY FIAMA: Thank you, thank you very much! Good evening everybody, I am Johnny Fiama, and the little monkey sitting on the couch is my monkey body guard, Sal Manilla!
SAL MANILLA: (Scarfing down a canola) Hiya!
JOHNNY FIAMA: Our guests for tonight are a couple of thread killers, who hang around the Muppet Central forums killing threads. Ladies and gentlemen, say “Hello” to Vic Romano and D’Snowth. (Cheers) Ugh guys, that’s my monkey body guard, Sal.
SAL MANILLA: Hi there! Oh, would you care for a canola?
VIC ROMANO: Ugh, no thank you!
JOHNNY FIAMA: Alright, I received a very reliable tip about these two’s little ordeal. We will now here from Vic Romano…
D’SNOWTH: Can I go next?
SAL MANILLA: (Eating another canola) Oh sure you can, but I bet my money on him.
VIC ROMANO: Well, it all started this morning…(Flashbacks) I was reporting to D’Snowth’s office as usual, I needed the files to hand out to the others so they kill the right threads.
VIC ROMANO IN FLASHBACK: Good morning, friend D’Snowth!
D’SNOWTH IN FLASHBACK: (Depicted as a revolting fat slob with tattoos) Yeah, what happened? (Eats a pencil)
VIC ROMANO IN FLASHBACK: (Frightened) D’Snowth?!
D’SNOWTH IN FLASHBACK: (Sucking rubber bands like spaghetti) I suppose house-boy wants his files?
VIC ROMANO IN FLASHBACK: Why yes D’Snowth, that’s what I’m…
D’SNOWTH IN FLASHBACK: (Slaps files in Vic’s face) Here and I hope ya choke on ‘em!
VIC ROMANO IN FLASHBACK: Why thank you D’Snowth! Oh, is there anything you should fill me in on?
D’SNOWTH IN FLASHBACK: Get outta my life you nitwit!
VIC ROMANO IN FLASHBACK: (Frightened) Yes D’Snowth! Right away D’Snowth!
VIC ROMANO: (Narrating) I no sooner had finished handing out all of the files to the thread killers, when I discovered That Announcer wasn’t in. D’Snowth was supposed to fill me in on this, so I had a talking with him.
VIC ROMANO IN FLASHBACK: Dearest D’Snowth, why did you not inform me of That Announcer’s sick day?
D’SNOWTH IN FLASHBACK: (Hops onto desk revealing he’s in his underwear) Hey listen punk, I could care less about your thoughts about That Announcer, so why don’t you just go back to your little sissy weekly visuals?
VIC ROMANO IN FLASHBACK: “Sissy”?! Why you dirty little pouch-ed rodent!
VIC ROMANO: (Narrating) I had never been so insulted in my life, so I punched him in the face… but that didn’t work as he kicked my in the gut. So then we broken out into a full-scale fight…complete with the same old dust cloud we’ve used many times before! (End Flashback) And that’s what REALLY happened. The end.
D’Snowth started laughing hysterically. Sal didn’t understand what was going on, so he joined the laughter, pretty soon the audience did as well.
JOHNNY FIAMA: (Chuckles) Oh well, before we go to the break, does anyone in the audience have a question for our first guest?... Yes, you sir!
ERINE81981: Describe that tattoo you said he had that said “I Heart Elizabeth Montgomery”.
VIC ROMANO: (Nervous) Ugh, I have no comment at this time.
SAL MANILLA: I do! I was right on his stomach, and it read “I Heart Elizabeth Montgomery”. The heart of course was big and red, while the letters were green. I once wanted to get myself a tattoo that read “I Heart Johnny Fiama”, but I’m not that kind of monkey, then…
JOHNNY FIAMA: (Interrupting) Alright, alright Sal, calm down. We’ll be right back after these messages, but first, I would to say that my new book, “For Johnny’s Eyes Only” will be out this spring, along with the new “Work Out with Johnny” DVD series, and the “Adventures of Johnny Fiama” comic books.
SAL MANILLA: Oh, and don’t forget…
JOHNNY FIAMA: Oh yeah, and Sal’s new CD, “Monkey Love” will be due this holiday season. (Back to the point) These are our guests Vic Romano and D’Snowth folks, will be back with more of The Johnny Fiama Show right after these commercials, don’t go anywhere!
Commercial Break
The Johnny Fiama Show was still on its break. Sal was talking with D’Snowth while the cameras were off.
SAL MANILLA: Hey, if you become a big star after this, can I have your autograph?
MrsPepper, TogetherAgain, and Vibs were sitting in the first row of the audience, talking about how Vic and D’Snowth were making fools of themselves.
MRSPEPPER: Alright, you heard the man, we’re talking about how Vic and D’Snowth are making fools of themselves!
TOGHETHERAGAIN: Yeah, how can they start WWIII over a silly little thing about That Announcer taking a sick day?
VIBS: Boys will be boys. (Beat)
Instead of MrsPepper and TogetherAgain’s usual reactions…
MRSPEPPER: Yeah.
TOGETHERAGAIN: That is so true. It makes me proud to be a girl.
VIBS: You said it, girlfriend!
Suddenly…
JOHNNY FIAMA: Hey, welcome back to The Johnny Fiama Show! I just wanted to point out that the show is NOT a Letterman rip-off, as someone did comment on earlier. Were here with thread killers, Vic Romano and D’Snowth, once good friends who now hate each other’s guts. We just heard Vic’s side of the story, we will now here from the kid with the glasses, Demount.
D’SNOWTH: That’s D’Snowth, Johnny.
JOHNNY FIAMA: Whatever.
D’SNOWTH: Well, let me start off by saying, I’m glad you’re finally allowing some truth on this show! (Audience oohs) And second… (Looks to camera) Hi mom, hi dad, hi Tommie, hi David!
JOHNNY FIAMA: Ugh, can we get back to your story?
D’SNOWTH: Oh yeah? Well Johnny, what really happened is… (Cue Flashback) I was busy filing my reports for our C.E.O., MrsPepper, for a love to please her. It was my duty to hand out the daily reports to Vic, who is chief thread killer. I receive an intercom buzz from MrsPepper that our vice thread killer, That Announcer called in sick. Seeing as MrsPepper and I were the only one’s who really needed to know that, I didn’t really have to say anything to Vic, but…
VIC ROMANO IN FLASHBACK: (Depicted as a giant rat/humanoid) Hey ya little runt, where’s those bleep files, you bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep! (He really actually IS saying “bleep”).
D’SNOWTH IN FLASHBACK: Oh Vic, I wish you wouldn’t call me a bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep. (Nervously) Here are the daily files you need sir.
VIC ROMANO IN FLASHBACK: (Snatches files) You’re so little and I’m so big, I could swat ya like a fly! (Does so) And I better not see ya ugly mug again!
D’SNOWTH: (Narrating) With that, Vic busted down the door, and no sooner had he left, then he ran back into my office, and tackled me!
D’Snowth describes the ordeal as Vic literally tackling him, and why he’s on the floor, pumling him.
VIC ROMANO IN FLASHBACK: (Pumling D’Snowth) You little idiot, where the bleep is That Announcer?!
D’SNOWTH IN FLASHBACK: (Frightened) He called in sick!
VIC ROMANO IN FLASHBACK: Why didn’t you tell me you bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep?!
D’SNOWTH: (Narrating) I did the only thing I could, so I socked him one, and then…
D’Snowth and Vic literally get into each other’s face and start yelling. As D’Snowth’s flashback ended, the two actually were in each other’s faces yelling. Johnny then called for another commercial break. Sal walked over to the arguing thread killers.
SAL MANILLA: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Save it for the camera! You guys are awesome, you two should be on Springer!
MrsPepper, TogetherAgain, and Vibs were all staring at Vic and D’Snowth with disappointed faces.
JOHNNY FIAMA: Alright, were back. Before we hear from the audience, I just wanted to point out that the new Men of Muppets Tonight calendar will be on sale next month. I don’t want to brag or nothin’, but I am Mr. April, and half of May. And now, we will hear from the audience… yes ma’am, what do you have to say to out guests?
MRSPEPPER: I just wanted to say you two sound like a couple of kids up there! Those are possibly the most childish flashbacks I ever watched! Why don’t you two just forget about the whole thing, forgive each other, and move on so we can get back to killing threads?
Vic and D’Snowth just sat their, as they started looking ‘down’.
JOHNNY FIAMA: We’ll be right back after these messages.
As the make up people starting fixing up the two…
D’SNOWTH: Vic… I’m sorry I told you to mind your own business.
VIC ROMANO: Yeah? Well, I’m sorry I over reacted, I guess I really should’ve asked first.
BOTH: Let’s be friends again.
SAL MANILLA: (Starts crying) Aw, these moments are so beautiful! You guys should have your own shows!
JOHNNY FIAMA: Welcome back to the show, were here with Vic Romano and Dipole. Vic, D’Towel, before we end this show, do you have any last comments?
BOTH: We decided to be friends again.
The audience then got up and left.
ERINE81981: This is bad television.
JOHNNY FIAMA: You idiots, you ruined my Letterman rip-off! Get off of my set now!
So the thread killers exited the building.
SAL MANILLA: Hey wait, what about my autographs?!
Commercial Break.
Back at the 3976th ½…
MRSPEPPER: (Happily sighs) Peace and quiet.
Suddenly…
TOGETHERAGAIN: WILL YOU STOP KILLING ALL OF THESE CRUMMY JOKES?!
VIBS: GET OFF MY BACK, I OUT-RANK YOU!
THE END