TMS outline- Elliott Gould!

Gorgon Heap

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This outline has been sitting around for ages, and in fact it's been almost complete for a couple of months. So while I was working on another outline, I chanced upon this one and finished it off (it's not as detailed as a lot of the more recent ones though.)

If there's anyone who isn't familiar with Elliott Gould, he was the original "Trapper John" McIntyre in Robert Altman's "M*A*S*H" (which spawned the hit TV series), was an Oscar nominee for the sex comedy "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice", was a frequent host of "Saturday Night Live" in it's early days (usually opening the show with an old-fashioned song and dance number, like "Crazy Rhythm" or "Anything Goes") and is probably known to younger folks for his recurring role as Ross & Monica's father on "Friends" and his role in the "Ocean's Eleven" remake and it's follow-up "Ocean's Twelve".

Oh, and he was the only celebrity to cameo in TWO Muppet movies: he was the beauty pageant host in "The Muppet Movie" and the cop in Pete's Diner (who overhears Kermit's "I've gotta go get a contract so I can kill 'em") in "The Muppets Take Manhattan", which led me to believe that he probably wanted to be a guest star on The Muppet Show but for whatever reason wasn't available.

Submitted for your approval:

Kermit: "It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, Elliott Gould! YAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!"


SPECIAL GUEST STAR: Elliott Gould

STYLE: EARLY SEASON FIVE (circa Loretta Swit, Joan Baez)

COLD OPENING: Pops is gargling when Elliott walks in.

Pops: “Oh! Who’re you?”

Elliott: “I’m Elliott Gould. Kermit asked me to be the guest star on tonight’s Muppet Show.”

Pops: “Elliott Gould! Oh, Kermit said to give you this present. It’s a cuff Link.”

Elliott: “You mean cuff links?”

Pops: “No, just one. Hey Link!”

(Link enters and sticks his snout into Elliott’s cuff.)

Link: “Uh, let’s go, big fella.”

Elliott: “Fine. I just won't wear it to a Bar Mitzvah.”

OPENING THEME:
GONZO: Gonzo is about to blow the trumpet, when Lips enters the ‘O’, grabs Gonzo’s trumpet, and plays a riff on it, to Gonzo’s chagrin.

OPENING NUMBER: “Dancing in the Moonlight”- the Muppets have a moonlit party... in this old couple’s backyard! (Watch out for the flying cow!)

Statler: “Weird. What did they need the cow for?”

Waldorf: “Well after all, they were dancing in the MOOOOOOnlight! Heh heh heh!” (Statler makes a face.)

BACKSTAGE: Kermit is busy organizing the big closing number, “Circus of the Muppets”, but it’s riddled with problems. First off, the elephant he rented is trapped in a phone booth (so is his handler!)

SONG: “Slap That Bass”- Elliott does an old-style song and dance with the Muppets, backed by the Electric Mayhem and other musicians.

Waldorf: “Well, what did you think of Elliott?”

Statler: “Terrific!”

Waldorf: “How about that band?”

Statler: “I wish they’d zoom, zoom, zoom out of here!”

S & W: “Ha ha ha ha ha!”

BACKSTAGE: More bad news: Scooter accidentally booked both the Flying Zucchini Brothers AND the Bouncing Borcelino Brothers (instead of either or).

MUPPET NEWS: The Newsman rushes in.

Newsman: “Here is a Muppet Newsflash! Dateline: Auckland, New Zealand. Mr. Bernard Fitzgibbons of that city is trying to break the world’s record for longest rocket launch, and-”

(The rocket crashes into the desk.)

VET‘S HOSPITAL: Pops is the patient, in with a sore throat and cough

UK SPOT: “A Little Bit of Soul (Sole)” Lew Zealand sings, accompanied by Dr. Teeth (in front of red curtain)

CANTEEN: Kermit is drowning his frustration in root beer when Elliott enters. Asking what’s wrong, Kermit tells him about the difficulty in planning the closing number, but Elliott knows that if it wasn‘t worth it, Kermit wouldn‘t be doing it at all- SONG: “Accentuate the Positive”- Elliott sings to Kermit

PIGS IN SPACE: Sam the Eagle gets hoodwinked into making a guest appearance as a villain, eventually coming to realize that, no, the ridiculous costume he’s wearing is not Shakespearean garb, nor is the dialogue he is reciting from “Richard III”.

Waldorf: “That eagle will just never learn.”

Statler: “Yeah, but we can say the same for ourselves, can’t we?”

(Audience laughs, S & W do not)

SONG: “The Long and Winding Road”- a whatnot man walking down a wintry path

BACKSTAGE: Kermit and company make rushed last-minute preparations for the big closing number.

CLOSING NUMBER: “Circus of the Muppets”- Elliott is the ringmaster in a Muppet circus that includes the Zucchini Brothers, the Bouncing Borcelino Brothers, Fozzie’s clown act, Link’s lion taming act, Gonzo’s tightrope motorcycling act, Miss Piggy’s trapeze act (and unintentional ‘pig cannonball’ act once she crashes into Gonzo and falls in the cannon.)

CURTAIN: Kermit enters.

Kermit: "Well, time has come now to take down the tent and put this show back in it's cage. But not before we say thank you to our wonderful guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Elliott Gould! YAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!"

(Elliott enters)

Elliott: "Thank you, Kermit. I've had a wonderful time, no lyin'."

(The lion enters.)

Lion: "Grrr! What is this about no lion, huh?! Do you mean that I was the only part of the show you didn't enjoy?!"

(Elliott and the lion continue arguing.)

Kermit: "Uh, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!"

(Elliott, Kermit, Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Link, Lew Zealand, a Zucchini brother, a Borcelino brother, the tiger, and the lion gather around.)

Waldorf: “Well, what should we do now?”

Statler: “What do you mean?”

Waldorf: “The night is young!”

Statler: “That’s the problem- we’re not!”


Comments welcome.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
 

Gorgon Heap

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*bump*

Nothing? Bueller? Bueller?

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
 

JaniceFerSure

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It was good David.It would have been nice to see the whole fan-fic in your usual writing detailed form;but I liked it none-the-less.Thanks for choosing Elliot,he's a great actor.
 

TotallySpiesFan

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By the way Gorgon, would you mind doing an outline for a late second season episode with Morgan Freeman?
 

Gorgon Heap

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JaniceFerSure said:
It was good David.It would have been nice to see the whole fan-fic in your usual writing detailed form;but I liked it none-the-less.Thanks for choosing Elliot,he's a great actor.
There is a reason for that; this is one of the earlier outlines that I started, and since then I've added more detail into these. Also, I pretty much just wanted to get it done. Maybe I'll revise it in greater detail, though.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
 
P

Philip Kippel

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Gorgon Heap said:
OPENING NUMBER: “Dancing in the Moonlight”- the Muppets have a moonlit party... in this old couple’s backyard! (Watch out for the flying cow!)
Which specific muppets are in this number?

SONG: “Slap That Bass”- Elliott does an old-style song and dance with the Muppets, backed by the Electric Mayhem and other musicians.
Which other muppets appear in this number, besides the Electric Mayhem?

CLOSING NUMBER: “Circus of the Muppets”- Elliott is the ringmaster in a Muppet circus that includes the Zucchini Brothers, the Bouncing Borcelino Brothers, Fozzie’s clown act, Link’s lion taming act, Gonzo’s tightrope motorcycling act, Miss Piggy’s trapeze act (and unintentional ‘pig cannonball’ act once she crashes into Gonzo and falls in the cannon.)
Which other muppets are in this number?
 

TotallySpiesFan

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Philip Kippel said:
Which specific muppets are in this number?
Various Whatnots, Fozzie, Scooter, Floyd, Janice, Gonzo, Afghan Hound, Baskerville, and Droop.

Philip Kippel said:
Which other muppets appear in this number, besides the Electric Mayhem?
Some Whatnots, Zelda Rose, Annie Sue, a few penguins, and several Frackles.

Philip Kippel said:
Which other muppets are in this number?
The following Muppets are featured in the circus audience: Afghan Hound, Green Boppity, several Whatnots, Dr. Strangepork, Snake of "Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas", Gladys the Cafeteria Lady, Baby Koozebanians, Dark Green Hunchback Frackle, Hudson of "The Muppet Show: Sex & Violence", Snowths, Shakey Sanchez, Ernie, Oscar the Grouch, Guy Smiley, and Two-Headed Monster.
 
P

Philip Kippel

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TotallySpiesFan said:
Some Whatnots, Zelda Rose, Annie Sue, a few penguins, and several Frackles.
Even though you once again answered questions directed to Gorgon Heap, I'm still going to ask which frackles are in this number (Boppity? Gloat? Droop? Lenny the Lizard? Who?)
 

TotallySpiesFan

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Philip Kippel said:
Even though you once again answered questions directed to Gorgon Heap, I'm still going to ask which frackles are in this number (Boppity? Gloat? Droop? Lenny the Lizard? Who?)
The Frackles included in this number will be the following: Purple Frackle with Green Hunchback Frackle, Dark Green Hunchback Frackle with Pink Boppity, and Green Boppity with Flower-Eating Monster. Okay, Flower-Eating Monster is not a Frackle.
 

Gorgon Heap

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TotallySpiesFan, please stop answering questions that are addressed to me!. If the answers you're giving are how you visualize it, fine, but you're not a mind reader, so please don't presume to speak on my behalf- it's past annoying.

Philip Kippel said:
Which specific muppets are in this number?
I kinda got the idea for this from a mattress commercial from a few years ago (well, it was some commercial- the one with the trampoline in the backyard at night). A lot of Whatnots, one or two Season Five frackles, some of the prairie dogs, a couple of chickens, pigs, and frogs, an old (Whatnot) couple, and a cow. The Muppets are having a party in some old couple's backyard, and some are jumping on a trampoline (Shaky Sanchez and the Male and Female Koozebanians are among the trampoline jumpers, as well as the chickens and frogs).

Which other muppets appear in this number, besides the Electric Mayhem?
Some Whatnot musicians, to begin with. Also Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Annie Sue, Lew Zealand, and Beauregard.

Which other muppets are in this number?
The tiger, a trained seal and Whatnot trainer, Old Skyball Paint, Lew Zealand, Crazy Harry, and a few assorted Whatnots.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
 
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