TMS Outline- Groucho Marx!

Gorgon Heap

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This one was near completion, just needed a plot and some details. Special thanks to Kim for letting me bounce ideas off her. So without further ado:

"It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star Mr. Groucho Marx! Waaah!"



SPECIAL GUEST STAR: Groucho Marx

STYLE: Early second season (circa Don Knotts, Zero Mostel episodes)

Cold opening: Sweetums gives Groucho a cigar- a BIG cigar.

Groucho: “You know, I could smoke this cigar for the rest of my life, which, if I’m doing this show, could be a matter of minutes.”

OPENING THEME:
S & W: W: “Remember, this time wake me when it’s over.”
Gonzo: Bubble gum comes out of the trumpet

OPENING NUMBER: “A Bicycle Built for Two”- Scooter sings to his girl on their bicycle, but he crashes the bike at the end.

Waldorf: "Tell me Statler, did you ever own a bicycle built for two?"

Statler: "Yeah, but I never went for a ride on it."

Waldorf: "Really? How come?"

Statler: "There was no room once my wife got on!"

S & W: "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

BACKSTAGE: Kermit is trying to locate the duck.

Kermit: “We need that duck for the end of the show.”

Fozzie (walking by, overhearing): “Why a duck?”

Kermit: “Fozzie, do not start!”

Fozzie: “What did I say?”

SONG: “Peasie Weasie”- Groucho sings, accompanied by Rowlf

Statler: “That Groucho Marx is a fine singer!”

Waldorf: “Well, so am I, Statler! You want to hear me sing?”

Statler: “Only if you’ve got a falsetto voice.”

Waldorf: “No, but I’ve got a false set of teeth! Ha ha ha!”

THE SWEDISH CHEF: shish kebob

BACKSTAGE: Kermit wards off Miss Piggy by talking circles around her like Groucho to Margaret Dumont, insulting her without her knowledge. She leaves, confused.

Kermit (to camera): “I saw Groucho do that to Margaret Dumont in one of their movies last night.”

Piggy comes back and karate chops him.

Kermit (to camera): “That part, however, was not in the original exchange.”

He faints.

AT THE DANCE

UK SPOT: “That Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze” (TMS circus set)

TALK SPOT: Groucho talks to Sam the Eagle, and like all straight-laced types he’s run into, Groucho insults and talks circles around him

Groucho: “You know, you’ve got a lot of gall. Well you can take all of Gaul, and Mesopotamia too for all I care. You know I could make better use out of you with stuffing and cranberry sauce?”

SKETCH: Gonzo recites from the works of Byron while building a bunk bed (blindfolded!)

DRESSING ROOM: The Muppets are piling in to talk to Groucho, until the room is full a la the ‘stateroom’ scene in “A Night at the Opera”.

SONG: “Everyone Says I Love You”- Rowlf plays piano and sings, backed up by Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter and Floyd

Waldorf: "Ah, wonderful! Wonderful. I remember the Marx Brothers each performing that song in the movie 'Horse Feathers'. You know Statler, I've always wondered about that title. I mean, how is it that a horse has feathers?"

Statler: "How is it that you're not in a retirement home yet?"

Waldorf (mutters): "Old buzzard."

CLOSING NUMBER: “Hooray for Captain Spaulding”- Groucho with Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Baskerville the Hound, Lenny the Lizard, Boppity and Gloat, Wayne & Wanda, and some tropical birds in a sort of mansion drawing room set, like in the movie "Animal Crackers".

Curtain: All the Muppets are wearing Groucho glasses. Groucho enters.

Groucho: “Thank you Kermit. You know, this show begs one question: unfortunately, the answer is you’re putting the show on, and my agent was putting me on, but I found that out too late.”

Groucho, Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter and Gloat gather in front of the curtain.

Statler: “Boo!”

Waldorf: “Hiss!”

Statler: “Awful!”

‘Awful’ turns out to be the secret word, so the duck drops down.

Statler: "We must have said the secret word!"

Waldorf: “What did we get? Money?”

Duck: “No, two tickets to next week’s show!”

S & W: “Oh no!”


Drop me your comments.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
 

Gorgon Heap

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Coming soon (as long as you take the word "soon" with a grain of salt):

The Muppet Show, with special guest star TIM CONWAY!

(Princeton, don't touch Tim Conway; he's mine. Back off, this is a warning! :mad: )

(But no, seriously, I kid. :wink: :big_grin: )

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
 

JaniceFerSure

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Tim Conway is one of my favs. too. I wish I had the patience to write a show plot.If I could choose the guest stars,mine would be my favs./idols: Jerry Lewis,Mel Brooks,Cher,Jim Henson himself,Meryl Streep,Bette Midler,Dean Martin,Dick Shawn;a lot of the classic giants like Orson Wells,James Dean,Marlon Brando,etc... Keep up the good work David.:smile:
 
P

Philip Kippel

Guest
Gorgon Heap said:
AT THE DANCE
Which muppets are in this "At the Dance" sketch?

UK SPOT: “That Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze” (TMS circus set)
Which muppets appear in this number?

DRESSING ROOM: The Muppets are piling in to talk to Groucho, until the room is full a la the ‘stateroom’ scene in “A Night at the Opera”.
Which muppets pile in?

CLOSING NUMBER: “Hooray for Captain Spaulding”- Groucho with Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Baskerville the Hound, Lenny the Lizard, Boppity and Gloat, Wayne & Wanda, and some tropical birds in a sort of mansion drawing room set, like in the movie "Animal Crackers".
Which specific birds appear in this number?
 

Fragglemuppet

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That's all vary good, Philip, but what did you think of the outlines themselves?

GH, I have been a long-time admirer of your work, and I hope you never get descouraged.
 

TotallySpiesFan

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Philip Kippel said:
Which muppets are in this "At the Dance" sketch?
Zelda Rose with Droop, Ohboy Bird (the blue one) with Youknow Bird (the pink one), Kermit with Miss Mousey, a duck-billed woman with a blue Whatnot, and Shakey Sanchez with a Whatnot girl wearing a pink sweater.

Philip Kippel said:
Which muppets appear in this number?
Some Whatnots.

Philip Kippel said:
Which muppets pile in?
Kermit, Rowlf, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, and others.

Philip Kippel said:
Which specific birds appear in this number?
Ohboy Bird and Youknow Bird
 
P

Philip Kippel

Guest
Fragglemuppet said:
That's all vary good, Philip, but what did you think of the outlines themselves?
I love them! They're awesome and very well written.:smile:

As I stated in a previous post, I think that GH would've made a great writer for "The Muppet Show".

So, GH, keep up the good work and, as always, I look forward to your next Muppet Show outline.
 

Gorgon Heap

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Thank you so much for the compliments, Philip.

As to your questions, in this outline I never decided which Muppets appear in those sketches. I could go back and flesh it out at some point but don't hold your breath for it- writing is one of the few avenues of my life in which I'm always looking forward, sometimes so much that I neglect to finish the writings I start (see my as-of-yet unfinished screenplay.)

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
 
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