Gorgon Heap
02-03-2003, 11:47 PM
SPECIAL GUEST STAR: JAMES CAAN
STYLE: MID-FIRST SEASON
OPENING THEME:
Fozzie joke: “I went to a football game so bad, the players were leaving early to beat the traffic. Wocka wocka!”
James Caan: in the Talk Spot set with the Muppets, including Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Hilda, George and Janice
Gonzo: chops the ‘O’ with an axe
SONG: “Satisfaction”- the Electric Mayhem
Waldorf: “I can’t get any satisfaction either.”
Statler: “How could you? Look where we are.”
Backstage: Gonzo is upset that Kermit didn’t schedule his act into the show and won’t make room, so Gonzo schemes to get onstage.
SONG: “Little Green Apples”- James sings while strolling through a sunlit suburban neighborhood on a pleasant Saturday afternoon
Waldorf: “Ah, nice number. That James Caan is a real mammoth talent.”
Statler: “Well if anybody would know, it’s you. Who else had a mammoth for a pet? HA HA HA HA HA!”
Backstage: Gonzo approaches Kermit with an idea for a new act- eating the stage curtain to the tune of Beethoven’s Minuet in G, but Kermit turns him down.
At the Dance
Vet’s Hospital- Dr. Bob operates on the Guru, who would rather have traditional herbal remedies
Gangster sketch- in a nightclub, Luca Bartola (James) and his gang, which includes Benny the Nose (Gonzo) and George the Janitor (“he’s called The Janitor because he cleans up after my messes!” “Maybe you should stop eating with your fingers then!”) face off against Jerry the Comic (Fozzie) and his right-hand men Scooter the Gofer and Sid the Kneecap (Boppity Frackle). Piggy is Luca’s moll and Gloat (in drag) is Jerry’s (“How did this happen?”)
Waldorf: “They should do something about those gangsters.”
Statler: “Yeah... get ‘em off the stage, for one thing!”
S & W: “AH HA HA HA HA!”
The Houses- “I hear your son the restaurant is becoming interested in athletics.” “Interested? He’s talking about becoming a sports club.”
UK Spot: “Dancing Queen”- as sung by Janice et al, as Piggy and other female Muppets (including Gorgon Heap’s wife, Zola) take to the dance floor (in red-lit At the Dance set)
Talk Spot: interrupted by Gonzo; Gonzo tells Kermit that his dressing room is on fire (due to Gonzo using his boss’s dressing room to rehearse his flamethrower juggling act); once Gonzo has the audience’s attention, he tries to do his own act- sewing a button onto a watermelon, until Kermit comes back and gets rid of him.
Waldorf: “That Great Gonzo sure causes a lot of vexation around here.”
Statler: “Oh, they should take some penicillin for that.”
Waldorf: “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”
Fozzie’s Monologue- after Fozzie refuses Gonzo’s request to cut his act short, Gonzo does it for him with the aid of some banana peels
Waldorf: “Hooray!”
Statler: “Bravo!”
Waldorf: “Wonderful! I tell you, that’s the best act old Fozzie’s ever done!”
Statler: “Yeah, and it’s the best thing the little blue geek’s ever done, too!”
S & W: “AH HA HA HA HA!”
Wayne & Wanda- “If Ever I Would Leave You”- Wanda sings, but get carried away by Thig
Wings: Gonzo pays off Thig for carrying off Wanda thus ending their act.
Thig: “I feel almost guilty for taking money for it.”
Gonzo: Not to worry.”
Thig: “You sure this is okay?”
Gonzo: “Sure. Bon appetit.”
Thig: “All right!”
Muppet News- “Popular nightclub singer Enzo Fiamma(James) announced today that he will postpone his current tour.” Turns out he has a frog in his throat (as evidenced by the sound of his voice- and I don’t need to tell you how that gag will work!)
Backstage: after a lot of aggravation, Kermit finally agrees to let Gonzo go on
Gonzo saws a bowling ball in half to the tune of Khatchaturian’s “Saber Dance”
Statler: “You know all that good stuff we said about Gonzo earlier?”
Waldorf: “Wanna take it back?”
Statler: “Lets, please!”
CLOSING NUMBER: “Love, I Hear”- James sings to Miss Piggy
Curtain: James, Kermit, Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Janice, George and Hilda
Statler: “This show raises an important question.”
Waldorf: “What’s that?”
Statler: “Why do they do it?”
David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
STYLE: MID-FIRST SEASON
OPENING THEME:
Fozzie joke: “I went to a football game so bad, the players were leaving early to beat the traffic. Wocka wocka!”
James Caan: in the Talk Spot set with the Muppets, including Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Hilda, George and Janice
Gonzo: chops the ‘O’ with an axe
SONG: “Satisfaction”- the Electric Mayhem
Waldorf: “I can’t get any satisfaction either.”
Statler: “How could you? Look where we are.”
Backstage: Gonzo is upset that Kermit didn’t schedule his act into the show and won’t make room, so Gonzo schemes to get onstage.
SONG: “Little Green Apples”- James sings while strolling through a sunlit suburban neighborhood on a pleasant Saturday afternoon
Waldorf: “Ah, nice number. That James Caan is a real mammoth talent.”
Statler: “Well if anybody would know, it’s you. Who else had a mammoth for a pet? HA HA HA HA HA!”
Backstage: Gonzo approaches Kermit with an idea for a new act- eating the stage curtain to the tune of Beethoven’s Minuet in G, but Kermit turns him down.
At the Dance
Vet’s Hospital- Dr. Bob operates on the Guru, who would rather have traditional herbal remedies
Gangster sketch- in a nightclub, Luca Bartola (James) and his gang, which includes Benny the Nose (Gonzo) and George the Janitor (“he’s called The Janitor because he cleans up after my messes!” “Maybe you should stop eating with your fingers then!”) face off against Jerry the Comic (Fozzie) and his right-hand men Scooter the Gofer and Sid the Kneecap (Boppity Frackle). Piggy is Luca’s moll and Gloat (in drag) is Jerry’s (“How did this happen?”)
Waldorf: “They should do something about those gangsters.”
Statler: “Yeah... get ‘em off the stage, for one thing!”
S & W: “AH HA HA HA HA!”
The Houses- “I hear your son the restaurant is becoming interested in athletics.” “Interested? He’s talking about becoming a sports club.”
UK Spot: “Dancing Queen”- as sung by Janice et al, as Piggy and other female Muppets (including Gorgon Heap’s wife, Zola) take to the dance floor (in red-lit At the Dance set)
Talk Spot: interrupted by Gonzo; Gonzo tells Kermit that his dressing room is on fire (due to Gonzo using his boss’s dressing room to rehearse his flamethrower juggling act); once Gonzo has the audience’s attention, he tries to do his own act- sewing a button onto a watermelon, until Kermit comes back and gets rid of him.
Waldorf: “That Great Gonzo sure causes a lot of vexation around here.”
Statler: “Oh, they should take some penicillin for that.”
Waldorf: “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”
Fozzie’s Monologue- after Fozzie refuses Gonzo’s request to cut his act short, Gonzo does it for him with the aid of some banana peels
Waldorf: “Hooray!”
Statler: “Bravo!”
Waldorf: “Wonderful! I tell you, that’s the best act old Fozzie’s ever done!”
Statler: “Yeah, and it’s the best thing the little blue geek’s ever done, too!”
S & W: “AH HA HA HA HA!”
Wayne & Wanda- “If Ever I Would Leave You”- Wanda sings, but get carried away by Thig
Wings: Gonzo pays off Thig for carrying off Wanda thus ending their act.
Thig: “I feel almost guilty for taking money for it.”
Gonzo: Not to worry.”
Thig: “You sure this is okay?”
Gonzo: “Sure. Bon appetit.”
Thig: “All right!”
Muppet News- “Popular nightclub singer Enzo Fiamma(James) announced today that he will postpone his current tour.” Turns out he has a frog in his throat (as evidenced by the sound of his voice- and I don’t need to tell you how that gag will work!)
Backstage: after a lot of aggravation, Kermit finally agrees to let Gonzo go on
Gonzo saws a bowling ball in half to the tune of Khatchaturian’s “Saber Dance”
Statler: “You know all that good stuff we said about Gonzo earlier?”
Waldorf: “Wanna take it back?”
Statler: “Lets, please!”
CLOSING NUMBER: “Love, I Hear”- James sings to Miss Piggy
Curtain: James, Kermit, Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Janice, George and Hilda
Statler: “This show raises an important question.”
Waldorf: “What’s that?”
Statler: “Why do they do it?”
David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole