Muppet Star Wars

[Scooterthegofer]

This is my first fanfic. I love Star Wars almost as much as I love the Muppets. Therefore my first fanfic is a Muppet version of Star Wars. It will be written in chapters, which will be arranged into three parts: Episode IV: A New Hope, Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, and Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. It will be in script form. I do not plan on doing the Prequel Trilogy. The cast will be as follows:

Luke Skywalker: Kermit
Han Solo: Fozzie
Princess Leia: Miss Piggy
Ben Kenobi: Rowlf
Chewbacca: Sweetums
Darth Vader: Gonzo
Grand Moffs Tarkin & Tarkin ;) : Statler and Waldorf
R2-D2: Robin
C-3PO: Sam the Eagle
Luke's Uncle and Aunt: Mildred Huxtetter and George the Janitor

Any comments are welcome before I start.

[The Count]

You are aware that Luke and Leia are siblings yes? So that pretty much throws out any romance ideas Piggy would come up with. Also, would the Mayhem end up as the Cantina Band?

[Scooterthegofer]

#1. Yes. I plan on having a bit of breakage of the fourth wall where Kermit and Piggy will argue over that (probably ending with Kermit being karate chopped.) #2. Yes. There will also be some other cameos in the cantina.

[Scooterthegofer]

Ok. Now i'm starting.

Muppet Star Wars

EPISODE IV-A New Hope

Turmoil in the galaxy! The sinister Darth Vader and his henchmen Tarkin and Tarkin have virtually exterminated all Muppets in the galaxy, and plan to destroy more, just for the fun of it, with their new weapon, the DEATH TO MUPPETS STAR. However, a small band of some of the few remaining Muppets in the galaxy have banded together into the MUPPET ALLIANCE, headed by Princess Leia. This small group has stolen the plans for the secret weapon. However, Darth Vader has tracked the ship carrying the plans to the remote, sandy, and boring desert world of NEW MUPPETEMIA and has sent a Muppet Destroyer to, well, destroy it. Will they escape? Find out after this:

(silly Muppet advertisement)

Princess Leia's ship, looking a lot like the Swinetrek, comes into view, followed by a Gonzo-shaped vehicle. Scene then goes to interior of Leia's ship.

Sam:
This is the end! There will be no escape for the princess this time!
Robin:
I don't know. Maybe she will escape. She's done it before.
Sam:
You're supposed to speak in beeps and whistles.
Robin:
Okay then. Beep bop whissawhissawhiss bap rrrugh.
Sam:
Much better.
Piggy:
Come on, Mon Petite Artoo. I have something for you.
Robin:
Okay! Here I come!
rushes up to Leia, who gives him a datacard.
Robin:
Do I... eat it?
Piggy:
No, no, no. you're supposed to store it in your Memory Bank and take it to Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Robin:
I never knew I had a Memory Bank! Where's my Memory Bank?
Piggy:
I don't know, just put it somewhere on you.
Robin:
Okay.
Goes back to C-3PO
Piggy:
And, like Goldenrod told you, speak in beeps and whistles.
Suddenly a door opens and in come Gonzo in a Vader-like suit and a band of chicken Stormtroopers.
Gonzo:
Aha! I have you at last, fair maiden!
Piggy:
You know, I really couldn't imagine Darth Vader saying medieval things like that.
Gonzo:
Oops-my bad. AAAnyway, we are here to CAPTURE YOU!
Piggy:
And how are you going to do that, hose-nose?
Gonzo:
Like this! Camilla, prepare the Antiseismothingamitron.
Camilla:
Bawk Bawk-Bawk-Bawk-Bawk-Bawkbawkbawk-Bawk?
Gonzo:
Yes, the Antiseismothingamitron.
Camilla pills out a raygun of some sort and fiddles with it, then shoots it at Leia. Leia faints.
Camilla:
Bawk Bawk?
Gonzo:
Yes, she'll be just fine. now help me pull her out of this thing.

[theprawncracker]

Ha ha! This is awesome so far! I loved Sam and Robin. Very good stuff. Can't wait to see more! :D

[JEANYLASER]

I can't wait to read more too!

[Scooterthegofer]

Thanks for all your'e nice comments. I WILL continue this, pretty soon.

[Scooterthegofer]

And now, with some time to spend, I continue.

Chapter 2

Setting: New Muppetemia. R2 and 3PO emerge from escape pod.
Sam:
I have a bad feeling about this.
Robin:
Why?
Sam:
Remember to speak in beeps and whistles. (Sees R2 leaving) Hey! Wait up! Where are you going?
Robin:
Beep bong burrp whissa errrrg.
Sam:
In English, please.
Robin:
I'm taking this datacard to Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Sam:
And who, might I ask, is Obi-Wan Kenobi?
Robin:
I don't know.
Sam:
Go on, find the person you know nothing but the name of. I'm leaving.
Robin:
Fine, good bye! (To camera) good riddance!
A little later, we see 3PO, far away from R2, see a Jawa Sandcrawler.
Sam:
A transport! I'm saved!
R2 rolls (walks?) through a canyon, with pigs in brown cloaks playing Jawas hiding behind rocks. one of them zaps him, causing him to fall down.
Pigs:
Eenka oink! Eenka oink! Wegotun! oinka enka unka!
Scene changes to interior of the Sandcrawler. 3PO looks around.
Sam:
Artoo? Artoo? I know you're there. Come out!
R2 comes out.
Robin:
Who? Oh, you. Grrr.
Sam:
Now look how much trouble your search for this Obi-Wan Kenobi has gotten us into. We shall be made to work in the spice mines of Kessel or smashed into who-knows-what.
Robin:
The spice mines of Kessel?
Sam:
I don't know what they are either. It was in the script.

[theprawncracker]

Hahaha! I love the last line! Excellent. Keep it up. This is shaping up very well. :D

[Scooterthegofer]

Thanks again! I'm trying really hard to make this funny.

[theprawncracker]

Thanks again! I'm trying really hard to make this funny.
You're doing very well! I'm impressed--especially because of your young age. Nice job. :D

[JEANYLASER]

Awesome Job I can't wait to read more suspense!

[Scooterthegofer]

There doesn't seem to be much suspense to me, but then, I know exactly what happens in the films.;)

[theprawncracker]

There doesn't seem to be much suspense to me, but then, I know exactly what happens in the films.;)
Eh, it's Jeany. She uses the word "suspense" in every other post. You get used to it. :rolleyes:

[Scooterthegofer]

;)

Aaanyway, let's get on with the story.

Setting: Luke's house on New Muppetemia.

George:
Luke, get out here! We want you to go shopping.
Kermit:
Shopping? Oh, not shopping again. (looks at his uncle) Oh, all right. What is it this time?
Mildred:
We were thinking droids.
Kermit:
And where would I find droids?
Luke's aunt and uncle murmur among themselves, and then decide:
Mildred:
Jawa's Droid Emporium.
Kermit:
Great. What kind do you need?
Mildred:
One of those little things that look like trascans, and then one of those gold-plated worrywarts.
Kermit:
You mean an Astromech droid and a Protocol droid?
Mildred:
Whatever.
Kermit:
Shall I take the landspeeder?
Mildred:
Sure.
Luke takes the landspeeder to the Jawa Sandcrawler, then parks. Droids are lined up in front, including R2-D2 and C3PO.
Sam:
Oh, great. Some wierdo come to buy us.
Robin:
He doesn't look too wierd to me.
Sam:
They never do.
Luke comes up to a Jawa/Pig salesperson.
Kermit:
How much is that pair? (Gestures to R2 and 3PO)
Pig:
Eenka uunka oinka 15 bucksa.
Kermit:
Oh great. I only have 14.
Pig:
Hey, i'll give you a discount if you'll tell me somethin'.
Kermit:
Oh, great! what?
Pig:
Who's your tailor, I love that outfit!
Kermit tells the salesperson his tailor, and then pays.

End of chapter! Next time, the plot starts to shape up!

[muppets2]

awesome! who are the clones?:eek:is my suggstion

[JEANYLASER]

Yeah where is the clones!

[muppets2]

who do u think should be the clones?:eek:

[JEANYLASER]

who do u think should be the clones?:eek:Of course they need some clones in this story!

[muppets2]

beaker! or swedish chef

[Scooterthegofer]

I do not plan on doing the Prequel Trilogy. I thought I made that clear. No one will be the clones, there will not be clones!*flys into Kermit-like rage;)*

Sorry.

[muppets2]

will beaker be in it or at least have a cameo:eek:

[Scooterthegofer]

Bunsen and beaker... the plan I have is for them to be at the end of Episode V, giving Luke his new hand.:confused::eek:

[muppets2]

thats cool but u who is going to be lando and darth sidious

[JEANYLASER]

awesome!

[muppets2]

oh and yoda too

[JEANYLASER]

Who is going to play Master Yoda in this story!

[muppets2]

idk mabye sesame street charcther or mabye :shifty: or :boo: or:sleep:

[muppets2]

wait satler and waldorf are taken already rizzo then

[JEANYLASER]

rizzo is perfect one to play Yoda in this story!

[muppets2]

so rizzo it is :shifty:

[JEANYLASER]

awesome!

[muppets2]

What about lando and darh sidious?:halo::hungry:

[muppets2]

check out new thread which muppets belong on top ten list from tms:sympathy::mad::o

[theprawncracker]

Umm... beyond all the annoying character suggestions...

I really, really enjoyed the new installment. :D Love the reference to the TMS Star Wars episode. Classic. :) Kermit's great, so are George and Mildred. Very in-character. Glad to see this shaping out the way you want it!

PS. From one fan-fic writer to another, you don't have to take the suggestions. Write what you want. You also don't have to reveal anything if you don't want to. Again, it's your story, do it how you wish. I'm sure we'll love it.

Keep up the great work!

[muppets2]

im asking who is in it im just saying who i think should be in it he doesnt have to take my suggstion:mad::mad::mad:

[Scooterthegofer]

PS. From one fan-fic writer to another, you don't have to take the suggestions. Write what you want. You also don't have to reveal anything if you don't want to. Again, it's your story, do it how you wish. I'm sure we'll love it.

Keep up the great work!
Thanks. All the more i'll give away at the moment is...Get ready for cameos!

[Scooterthegofer]

:busy:Please. I'll give away the characters when i'm ready. In the meantime, our first Jedi shows up...

Setting: Luke's house, New Muppetemia, one day after last chapter. Luke is sleeping in a bunk while C3PO tries to wake him.
Sam:
Umm...excuse me? Master Luke? Yoo-hoo! Anyone in there?
Luke wakes up.
Kermit:
What? Oh, 3PO. Where's R2?
Sam:
That's what I wanted to talk to you about. He's missing.
(Dramatic sting)
Kermit:
Darn those dramatic stings. Anyway, if he's missing, let's go find him!
Sam:
My thoughts exactly. Your landspeeder is out back.
Kermit:
Great. Let's go.
After, speeding along for several minutes, Luke sees some pigs playing Tusken Raiders.
Kermit:
Maybe we could ask them.
Suddenly, one hits him with a staff.
Pigs:
Ya ya ya oinka ya ya!
Suddenly a cleaver sound is heard in the distance, and in comes Ben Kenobi with R2.
Rowlf:
Works every time. (To Luke) Did you lose something? Because in comes this little droid and he says he belongs to you and he's bringing me a message.
Sam:
So you're Obi-Wan Kenobi?
Rowlf:
The one and only. Come on, why don't you come to my hut.
Setting: Ben Kenobi's hut.
Kermit:
So you fought in the Clone Wars?
Rowlf:
Yep. I was a Jedi Knight like your father.
Kermit:
What happened to my father?
Rowlf:
A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned evil, killed him. (sobs) Here' i've got something for you.
(opens a chest and pulls out a tuxedo, a bust of Beetoven, a piano, and a piano bench before pulling out a shiny object.) Aha!
Kermit:
What is it?
Rowlf:
Your father's Lightsaber.
Kermit:
How do I turn it on?
Rowlf:
The little red button.
Kermit:
You mean-(shrieks as lightsaber turns on.)
Rowlf:
Yep, that button. Shake it around.
(Characters duck as Luke swings it dangerously close to their heads)
Rowlf:
You still need-Duck!-more practice. Yeow! (it swings towards his head again.)

[muppets2]

nice chapther really well done:):sympathy::attitude:

[JEANYLASER]

I can't wait to read more suspense!:)

[theprawncracker]

Very nice! Rowlf was very well written. Loved the stuff he pulled out of the chest. Also love how you write the pigs/Tusken Raiders. Very clever. :D Keep it up!

[JEANYLASER]

Awesome Rowlf this story is very cool and Keep the nice work Rowlf!:):cool::flirt:

[Scooterthegofer]

Very nice! Rowlf was very well written. Loved the stuff he pulled out of the chest. Also love how you write the pigs/Tusken Raiders. Very clever. :D Keep it up!
Thanks. One joke of this is that all the New Muppetemian aliens (Jawas, Tusken Raiders, Gamorreans, even Skiff Guards) are pigs.

[JEANYLASER]

awesome!:cool:

[muppets2]

:)fantastic

[JEANYLASER]

cool!:cool:

[Scooterthegofer]

Terrible!;)

[theprawncracker]

Terrible!
*laughs* C'mon... don't be so hard on yourself. :zany: ;)

[Scooterthegofer]

I'm just joking on their trend of one word comments with one smiley before/after.

[theprawncracker]

I'm just joking on their trend of one word comments with one smiley before/after.
I know, I was joking about you joking about their trend. :p

[Scooterthegofer]

It's cameo time!

Setting: where we left off (if you're too lazy to look it up, then please don't look at this thread.)

Kermit:
Hey, R2, what's that stuck in your memory bank? (Fiddles with it and then screams as hologram appears)
Piggy (hologram):
Excuse me, but, Obi-Wan Kenobi, would you mind going to Alderaan for Moi? This R2 unit has the Death to Muppets Star plans in its memory banks and Moi's father should know what to do with them. Oh, and one more thing, Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope. Kissy Kissy!
Kermit (in a daze):
She's beautiful...(Ben slaps him)
Rowlf:
You heard the pig. Let's go!
Kermit:
I'm sorry, it's been nice knowing you and all, but my aunt and uncle need me. I can't just leave them. (explosion of Luke's house in the distance)
Rowlf:
Well that takes care of that. Let's go.

On the way to Mos Eisley

Kermit:
So where are we going?
Rowlf:
Mos Eisley. It's a city where all the good pilots frequent. We're going to see if we can get one.
Kermit:
So why can't we just get our own?
Rowlf:
Do you have one?
Kermit:
No.
Rowlf:
Because I don't. Oh, it's just coming up next exit. Let's go.

(Mos Eisley Cantina)

The Electric Mayhem are playing "The Saga Begins" by Wierd Al Yankovic.
Animal:
CANTINA!
Floyd:
Cool it!
Animal:
COOL IT! COOL IT!

Two Yip-Yip Martians come in the door and say: "Can-TEEN-a! Yipyipyipyipyipyipyipyip!" We see Han Solo at a table. A Male Koozebanian Creature playing Greedo sits down.
Koozebanian:
Oonga Choonga Woonka, Solo!
Fozzie:
Why sure! (pats the Koozebanian on the back and it explodes.)
Sorry about the mess! Ha ha ha ha.
Kermit and Rowlf sit down at his table.
Why are you here?
Rowlf:
We were going to ask you if you could take us to Alderaan.
Fozzie:
Sure I can. But there's a price you'll have to pay.
Kermit:
What?
Fozzie:
Your landspeeder.
Kermit:
Ok. it's out back.

[theprawncracker]

HA! Love the Mayhem and the Yip-Yips and the Koozebanian! Classic stuff. And the song the Mayhem was playing... nice reference. :D Great job! Keep up the good work!

[muppets2]

that was great i espically liked animal's part and when rowlf slapped kermit:):sympathy::halo:

[JEANYLASER]

Yeah me too!

[muppets2]

cool he should make graphics like ones that say muppet star wars or something:)

[Scooterthegofer]

The action begins!

Setting: Mos Eisley

Kermit:
So is this the way we get to the Millennium Falcon?
Fozzie:
Yep. Geez, what was that?
Turns around and sees chicken Stormtroopers with blasters drawn.
Rowlf:
Run!
Kermit:
I am running, you're just running too fast for me!
Rowlf:
You want me to run faster?
Kermit:
That's not what I said.
Fozzie:
Here we are, the Millenniun Falcon! Quick, get in!
They get in just as the chicken Stormtroopers catch up with them. The Falcon takes off.
Fozzie:
You two, i'd like you to meet Chewbacca. Chewie, this is Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Sweetums:
Pleased to meet ya.
Fozzie:
Chewie's my co-pilot.
Kermit:
Aha.
Suddenly, they are attacked by Gonzo-shaped ships.
Kermit:
Hurry up and get us into hyperspace!
Fozzie:
I'm trying!
Sam:
I told you we would be made to work in the spice mines of Kessel or smashed into who-knows-what!
Finally, they zip into hyperspace.
All:
Whew!
Next time: The pig returns! (and sees her home planet destroyed)

[muppets2]

really good like the chicken stromtroopers and and what sam said :attitude:

[theprawncracker]

Still great! :D I'm not so sure how I feel about Fozzie as Han... they seem to have pretty conflicting personalities. But I'm sure you can make it work. Good stuff! Can't wait for more! :zany:

[Scooterthegofer]

I was thinking about Scooter before I started writing... But, this is supposed to be somewhat as if Disney made a Muppet version of Star Wars (even though Rowlf is in it), and I thought they would probably put Fozzie, Kermit's sidekick, as Han Solo, Luke's sidekick. *sigh* I may have to just end this with the end of Episode IV and start another Fanfic with the Muppets as themselves. No casting difficulties there.

[theprawncracker]

I was thinking about Scooter before I started writing... But, this is supposed to be somewhat as if Disney made a Muppet version of Star Wars (even though Rowlf is in it), and I thought they would probably put Fozzie, Kermit's sidekick, as Han Solo, Luke's sidekick. *sigh* I may have to just end this with the end of Episode IV and start another Fanfic with the Muppets as themselves. No casting difficulties there.
Haha I understand that... casting IS always difficult. I think Disney would use Rowlf for Obi-Wan. I guess I could see them using Pepe too though... *laughs* *ahem* ;) Don't give up! I like that Fozzie IS Solo, it's just kind of weird still. I'm sure it'll get better as you progress. Great stuff. :D

[muppets2]

yea

[Scooterthegofer]

I have decided to abandan Statler and Waldorf as Tarkin and Tarkin for funnier roles. Also, instead of 4,5,6, I will do these in order of 4,6,5 for my convenience.


Setting: Death to Muppets Star

Gonzo:
And now, I ask you once more: Where is the Muppet base?
Piggy:
Umm... Dantooine. Yes, it's on Dantooine.
Gonzo:
YOU ARE A FLAT-OUT LIAR! Now we will do what we do to all flat-out liars: blow up their home planets! Officer; set course for Alderaan!
Piggy:
No, not Alderaan! Blow up Dantooine, or even New Muppetemia if you want, but not Alderaan!
Gonzo:
You have used up your last chance, lady! Officer; you may fire when ready.
(Laser blows up Alderaan)
Piggy:
That's the last straw, you buzzard-beak! HIYAA!

Next time: the stories converge!

[theprawncracker]

Haha! Very nice exchange between Piggy and Gonzo there. Nice karate chop. ;)

[Scooterthegofer]

Setting: Millenium Falcon. R2-D2 and Chewbacca are playing chess.
Sweetums:
Oh, darn it!
Fozzie:
What is it, Chewie?
Sweetums:
He captured my last knight!
Fozzie:
You might not want to do that, R2. In fact, it would be better for all of us if he won.
Robin:
Why?
Fozzie:
Because droids don't tear peoples' arms off when they don't win. Wookiees have been known to do that.
Sam:
May I suggest a new strategy?
Robin:
What?
Sam:
Let the Wookiee win.
Fozzie:
Probably a good choice.
Luke is lightsaber practicing with a training remote while Rowlf looks on. He gets hit by its laser several times, then decides to spear it with his lightsaber.
Kermit:
Oh, what the hey.
Rowlf:
It's good I have another one. But...
Kermit:
But what?
Rowlf:
You'll have to practice with the blast shield closed.
Kermit:
But how will I do that?
Rowlf:
Use the force.
Luke continues to practice until:
Fozzie:
Coming out of hyperspace! But where's Alderaan?
Rowlf:
Blown up by the Empire.
Fozzie:
But h-(breaks down stuttering) They couldn't do that! No one could do that!
Rowlf:
Still, they did it. I sense it.
Fozzie:
Oh, you and you're stupid sensa- Look! That moon is intact!
Rowlf:
Silly. That's no moon, it's a space station! And it's pulling us in with its tractor beam! Wait-it's pulling us in with its tractor beam?
All:
WOAAH!
(Falcon zooms toward Death to Muppets Star.)

Next time: I'm not telling!

[theprawncracker]

Good stuff! :D Like how you kept the chess scene in-tact, it's one of my favorites. I like when Fozzie broke down stuttering after hearing Alderan was destroyed--very good character moment for him. More please! :excited:

[Scooterthegofer]

Setting: Death to Muppets Star, Hangar

Gonzo:
TK-421, tell your troops to get into that ship and scan it.
Chicken:
Bawk bawk!
Gonzo:
Great. Now get into there!

TK-421 heads into Falcon, followed by two chicken stormtroopers with a heavy scanner. We hear blaster shots and Luke and Han come out, uncomfortably wearing their suits.

Gonzo:
TK-421, did you find anything? Where's the scanner? And the third trooper?
Fozzie:
Umm...Bawk bawk bawk-bawk bawk bawk bawk-bawk-bawk (Whispered: say, this is easy) bawk-bawk bawk-bawk-bawk bawk.
Gonzo:
Aha.
Fozzie (to Luke):
Gosh, that was easy.

Gonzo:
Oh... I sense a presence i've not felt since...
Officer:
Bawk Bawk?
Gonzo:
Since he left me an a burning lava shore twenty years ago.
Officer:
Baaawk!
Gonzo:
No, it was great! And the Emperors* gave me this great suit after it.

While they are distracted, our heroes sneak past them.

Next time: We finally get a Kermit/Piggy moment.

*: No, not a typo.

[theprawncracker]

*laughs* Love Gonzo at the end and Fozzie's Stormtrooper talk! Too funny! :D

[Scooterthegofer]

Thanks. Does anyone have any idea why no one seems to be posting? I think I may want a few more positive comments before I move on.




Trying not to be pushy,
Scooterthegofer

[GonzoLover85]

So far.. great story!
my question to you is, are you doing the original star wars.. or the special edition release? B/C Jabba the Hut makes an appearence in the SE, and I'm kind of interested in seeing who would play him.

[Scooterthegofer]

I'm not particularly doing either. I will do 5 and 6 (which includes Jabba The Hutt) eventually. (though I may take a break after 4 and work on another fanfic.)

[GonzoLover85]

Fair enough!
I'm looking forward to the rest!
Keep it coming!

[Scooterthegofer]

Ok now, I might as well make this a big chapter...

Setting: Death to Muppets Star, hallway

Kermit:
I have a feeling the rest of this won't be so easy.
Rowlf:
You'd be right.
Fozzie:
So where are we going now?
Rowlf:
The forward command center.
Kermit:
The what?
Rowlf:
The forward command center.
Kermit:
Oh.
Fozzie:
Are we there yet?
Rowlf:
(takes out map) Well, let's see... Okay, we've got to turn right, turn right again, go straight at the next exit and turn left after that, go straight, right, left, straight, straight, left, right, and then we'll be there.
Kermit:
Say that again?
Rowlf:
Here, you take the map.
Kermit:
No, you've got it all wrong! we've got to go straight to the end of the hallway and turn right.
Rowlf:
That's the easy way.
Fozzie:
Let's take the easy way, okay?
Rowlf:
Fine.
(They come into the command center. Stormtroopers just sit back while Luke and Han take out their blasters and shoot them.)
Fozzie:
Well, that was easy.
Message from radio system:
Command to TK-455, is there a problem?
Fozzie:
Umm... negative. We had a slight weapons malfunction but... everything's fine now. We're fine. How are you?
Message:
Are you sure?
Fozzie:
(Shoots radio system) Positive. ( to Luke) Pretty dull conversation anyway.
Kermit (fiddling around with buttons):
Look here. The princess is here.
Fozzie:
So what?
Kermit:
So, why don't we rescue her?
Rowlf:
The kid's right. Why don't we?
Fozzie:
Are you joking? I think I've risked my life enough on this mission.
Rowlf:
Well then, we'll leave you behind.
Fozzie:
No! Don't leave me behind!
Kermit:
Fine, we'll take you. Anyway, we'll need you and you're Wookiee friend for this mission. Also we need handcuffs.
Rowlf:
Are you thinking up some brilliant plan?
Kermit:
You bet I am.

[theprawncracker]

Hmm... I like how you changed it up to have that scene in the command center, not the prison hold. Very nice. Fozzie's getting better too! :D Kermit and Rowlf are awesome! Great stuff!

[Scooterthegofer]

Setting: Death to Muppets Star, Prison Hold

Sweetums:
Hey, what are you doing?
Fozzie:
Just come on, Chewie.
Guard:
Bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk?
Fozzie:
Umm... Bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk.
Guard:
Bawkbawk. Bawk bawk bawk! (shows them in)
Fozzie:
Bawk bawk!
Rowlf:
I need to go. Bye!
Kermit:
Bye!
Fozzie:
Aha! There she is!
Kermit:
So how do we get in?
Fozzie:
Walk in.
Kermit:
Of course.
Fozzie:
You go in. I'm getting the jitters.
Kermit:
Ok.
Piggy:
Aren't you just a bit tall to be a stormtrooper?
Kermit:
(Takes off helmet) I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you.
Piggy:
Oh, frog of my heart, throw yourself into my arms!
Kermit:
Umm... you're supposed to be in love with the bear.
Piggy:
I'm supposed to be in love with the bear? HIYAA!
(Luke is shot out of the detention room)
Fozzie:
Well, that was something.
Piggy:
NOW do I have to be in love with the bear?
Kermit:
Yes.
Piggy:
Fine. I would karate chop you again, but there are more serious matters now.
Kermit:
Like what?
Piggy:
Like the troop of Stormtroopers coming towards us.
Kermit:
Oh yeah. And how do you suggest we do that?
Piggy:
By jumping in to the garbage chute.
Kermit:
Fine.
(They jump in)
Oscar the Grouch:
Hi!
Kermit:
What are you doing here?
Oscar:
A very brief cameo.
Kermit:
Somehow, I get an extreme sense of Deja Vu.

Next time: Things get mashy!

[GonzoLover85]

The Osacr bit is great. I love it.

Keep the jokes a comin'

[theprawncracker]

HAHAHA! Love Oscar! Hilarious! The karate chop was great too. "NOW do I have to be in love with the bear?" Too funny!

[Scooterthegofer]

I'm surprised no one got the "just a bit tall to be a stormtrooper" bit.

Setting: Death to Muppets Star, Trash compactor
Kermit:
Pi-er-Leia, i'm surprised you let yourself into this mess.
Piggy:
Oh, don't worry. Old dress.
Fozzie:
So where are we?
Kermit:
3870416. Wait, what's happening? (Walls start getting closer together)
Piggy:
Yipes!
Fozzie:
I told you-I told you this wasn't a good idea!

Back at command center:
Sam:
This is... odd. If their communicator isn't malfunctioning, they are in trash compactor 3870416.
Robin:
So what should we do?
Sam:
Deactivate the trash compactor, you dolt!
Robin:
Oh, fine. (Presses buttons)

Back in trash compactor, walls recede sharply.
Kermit:
We're saved!

Tractor beam room. Obi-Wan deactivates tractor beam, then sneaks on.

Hangar. Darth Vader is waiting.
Gonzo:
Yes, I will finally defeat Obi-Wan Kenobi! Isn't it exciting! I will not just be a villian, I will be a SUPERVILLIAN!
Officer:
Bawk bawk?
Gonzo:
Oh, right. Aha! there he is!
Rowlf:
Aha, here I am.
Gonzo:
The cycle is complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now, I am the master!
Rowlf:
Only a master of evil!
Gonzo:
Oh. I - guess you're right.

Next time: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[theprawncracker]

HAHAHA! I love Gonzo's last line! This is awesome! :D

[GonzoLover85]

I'm surprised no one got the "just a bit tall to be a stormtrooper" bit.


Oh, it was gotten. I'm loving where this story is going.
Keep up the great work!

[Scooterthegofer]

Setting: Death to Muppets Star, Hangar

(Just as Vader and Obi-Wan start fighting, the rest of the gang comes in)
Kermit:
Oh, hi Ben.
Rowlf:
Oh, hi Lu-Waaah! (Vader takes advantage of the distraction and cuts him down)
Kermit:
No, he can't be dead! And it's all my faul-WOAH! (Leia has pulled him into the Falcon)
Piggy:
Just get in here, flipperface!
Fozzie:
So where are we going?
Piggy:
Yavin 4.
Fozzie:
Why not Yavin 3? Or Yavin 5?
Piggy:
YAVIN 4, YOU DOLT!
Fozzie:
Okay, okay!

Next time: Rebel attack!

[theprawncracker]

Haha! Liked Piggy yelling at Fozzie. Poor Rowlf... :sympathy: More! More! :halo:

[muppets2]

i am back!liked it it was all great i read it all so far keep it up oscars cameo was great:grouchy:

[muppets2]

what happend where is the rest of the story?:eek:

[Scooterthegofer]

With school starting I haven't got as much time as I used to. I hope to get more of the story up soon, but...

[muppets2]

oh too bad....:cry:

[Scooterthegofer]

Ok, finally! A weekend!

Setting: Rebel base, Briefing room, Yavin 4
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew:
Hello, and welcome to the briefing. I, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, have been studying the plans for the Empire's ultimate weapon. I have found a little teensy-tinesy problem...
Beaker:
Meep?
Bunsen:
...In the design of the station.
Beaker:
Whew!
Bunsen:
There is a small thermal exhaust port in the center trench that leads directly to the core. With Muppet Labs' new proton torpedos, blowing it up should be a breeze!
(Beaker is carried away by a gust of wind)
Now, Beaker, show them!
(Beaker presses a button that sends a torpedo flying toward a piece of machinery, whigh explodes on contact)
Oh, naughty Beaker! Now you've broken Muppet Labs' Crypto-anagonic Transmitter!
(A smoldered and smoking Beaker rises up from the wreckage)
Now (ahem), you have seen the, erm, extreme destructive power of the Muppet Labs Proton Torpedo. (snickers)

(Rebel soldiers all yawn or boo)

Next time: Boom!

[muppets2]

that was pretty good beaker was hilrauos:eek:

[theprawncracker]

Nice! You have Bunsen's voice down very well. Beaker was great too! Excellent stuff. :D

[Scooterthegofer]

I need to get some more inspiration before I post another chapter. I'm not sure how to make the battle of Yavin 4 funny.;)

[muppets2]

well you know how they are in ships and they have radio in them you could do a funny talk sequence between the people by radio

[theprawncracker]

http://twitpic.com/ihyqz

Inspiring enough for ya? ;)

[muppets2]

wow awesome t-shirt maybe ill buy it:):concern:

[Scooterthegofer]

Dear Reader,

I am indefinitely suspending this fanfic. I feel that I would like to work on other things and not have this hanging over my head (until I start up again.) My next fanfic will be even better than this, I promise! Thanks for listening.

Love, Scoots

[Scooterthegofer]

Dear Reader,

I am un-suspending this fanfic. Need I say more?

Setting: Yavin 4, Hangar Bay. Luke is entering his X-Wing.

Sam (to Robin):
Do try not to get yourself killed, will you?
Robin:
I'll try.
Sam:
Oh, and by the way, for the last time, you're supposed to speak in beeps and whistles.

X-Wings fly out towards DTMS and are attacked by NOSE fighters.
Rebel pilot 1:
I've been hit!
Rebel pilot 2:
You hit me!

Luke's X-wing swerves out of their way and, along with others, flies out towards DTMS surface.
Rebel pilot 3:
Okay, so how does this help?

Meanwhile, in DTMS:
Gonzo (to NOSE fighter pilots):
Come with me.

They come with him, and the action switches back to the X-wings.
Rebel pilot 4:
I've been hit!
Rebel pilot 5:
So have I! can we just stop with this "I've been hit" business?
Kermit:
Alright, then, I haven't been hit.
Rebel pilots 4 and 5:
Stop it!

Luke and rebel pilot 6, 7, and 8's X-Wings descend into the trench and are followed by Vader and the pilots' NOSE fighters.

Gonzo:
Hmm... the force is strong in this one!

The Millenium Falcon comes out of nowhere and shoots at the NOSE Fighters. The pilots' are destroyed, while Vader's spins off-course.

Kermit (looking at Thermal Exhaust port):
There's no way I can get my torpedo into there!

Voice of Rowlf:
Use the Force, Luke.

Luke looks around for source of voice and NOSE fighter sends him off course. Luke uses force to stabilize X-wing and fires torpedo. As he flies away, DTMS explodes. Chicken Stormtrooper is seen gasping for breath among wreckage.

Next time: A New Episode!

[Scooterthegofer]

Hello?

[theprawncracker]

Very good! Liked Sam's exchange with Robin. :D

[Scooterthegofer]

New characters for this episode...
YODA: Rizzo
BOBA FETT: ? (any suggestions?
LANDO CALRISSIAN: Scooter

*********************
not long enough ago, in a galaxy not far enough away...

MUPPET STAR WARS

EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

It is a dark time for the
Rebellion. Although the Death
To Muppets Star has been
destroyed, Imperial troops have
driven the Rebel forces from
their hidden base and pursued
them across the galaxy.

Evading the dreaded Imperial
Starfleet, a group of freedom
fighters led by Luke Skywalker
has established a new secret
base on the remote ice world
of Hoth.

The evil lord Darth Vader,
obsessed with finding young
Skywalker, has dispatched
thousands of remote probes into
the far reaches of space…

Setting: Imperial Rendexvous Point. NOSE fighters are seen, followed by Muppet Destroyers, followed by a SUPER MUPPET DESTROYER-Darth Vader's personal ship. Inside we see several officers. Darth Vader enters.

Gonzo (pointing at screen):
Where is that?

Officer 1:
It is Hoth, my lord.

Gonzo (Pointing at base):
and what is that?

Officer 1:
there are many small-Gahk! (Vader chokes him)

Gonzo:
He is there. I sense him.

Officer 2:
Yes, my lord. (to other officers) Set course for Hoth!

Setting: Hoth. Luke comes riding on a tauntaun.

Kermit:
And this is the planet's tropical zone! Wait-what's that?
Rides over to crashed Imperial Probe Droid.
Kermit:
An imperial probe droid. (Tauntaun bucks) Woah!

Wampa appears, kills tauntaun, and drags Luke to cave. Luke wakes up upside down hanging from roof of cave. He sees his lightsaber nearby, uses the force on it, cuts himself free, and cuts off Wampa's arm. He escapes, then falls down on slope. He sees a vision of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Rowlf: Go to Dagobah. Train with master Yoda. Goodbye! (Vision disappears.)

Han Solo rides up on his Tauntaun, puts Luke crosswise behind him on it, and rides off towards base.

You will note the style change for my convenience.

Next: Chicken Walkers! :concern:

[theprawncracker]

Hmm... Perhaps Animal as Boba Fett?

Great stuff! :D

[Scooterthegofer]

Production secret: except for changing "Death Star" to "Death to Muppets Star," I copied the opening crawl from the original. This was obviously not done with Episode IV. I could see Scooter doing Boba Fett, but he has been Lando for a while.

[Scooterthegofer]

BEAKER gets the honor of playing Boba Fett!

***************************

Chicken-shaped walkers slowly walk towards Echo Base. Commander Luke Skywalker and other Snowspeeder Pilots succeed in disabling some of them with their crafts' tow cables, but are eventually overwhelmed. Luke gets out of his crashed Snowspeeder and grapples up to the underbelly of one of the Chicken Walkers, cuts it open with his lightsaber, throws in a grenade, and then escapes to his X-Wing and sets course for Dagobah. Meanwhile Han and Leia are seen, inside the base.

Piggy: Come on, come on! They're going to blow us up!

Fozzie: They are? Run!

They escape just as chunks of ice fall, blocking their way back.

Piggy: Faster! Faster!

Fozzie: Can't I get some rest? (clonked on the head by piece of ice) Apparently not.

They enter the Falcon and escape just as Darth Vader and Snowtroopers enter.

Gonzo: Curses! Foiled again!

As Han and Leia leave the planet, they are attacked by NOSE Fighters and Muppet Destroyers. They temporarily escape by swerving into a hole in one of the larger asteroids.

Piggy: Whew!

Fozzie: Talk about it.

They hear a growl and the tunnel shakes.

Fozzie: On second thought, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

Piggy: The tunnel's closing!

Fozzie: That's not a tunnel.

They escape as Space Worm opens its mouth again. Meanwhile, we see Beaker (Boba Fett) along with Lew Zealand, Link Hogthrob, Animal, and Beauregard as Bounty Hunters on board the Super Muppet Destroyer, being briefed by Darth Vader.

Gonzo: So, as you can see, there will be a substantial reward for the one who finds the Millenium Falcon.

Link (to other Bounty Hunters): I'm not just going to capture them, i'm going to disintegrate them!

Gonzo (continuing): ...And I want them alive - no disintegrations!

Link: Aww.

The Millenium Falcon has plastered itself to the rear of the Super Muppet Destroyer. They disguise themselves by escaping in the airlock disposal. Unwittingly, they are followed by Boba Fett in the Slave 1.

Bumm bumm bummmm!