M*A*S*H Thread

[Beakerfan]

*PA system* ATTENTION: ALL PERSONELL! This is the much anticipated M*A*S*H thread! This is not- I repeat - this is not a thread to discuss the show/movie/book! This is a role-play thread. Each person will choose one character from the show and play as that character. I will list who is taken as more people are added. In order to keep the chaos around here to a minimum, please PM me if you would like to join. Currently:

Corporal Walter "Radar" O'Reilly - D'Snowth
Major Charles Emerson Winchester III - Beakerfan

Let the surgery begin!

[D'Snowth]

*Radar returns from R&R*

Oh boy, do I have a headache... I sure do hope I don't throw up all day... oooh... I think... I... *leans over jeep and throws up*

[D'Snowth]

*Walks into Colonel Potter's office, but finds Charles*

Uh... hi Major Winchester... I guess Colonel Potter and Capt. Pierce aren't back from the Aid Station yet, huh?

[Beakerfan]

*sitting at Col. Potters desk* No, Radar, they're not. They're taking quite some time. Ah well! Don't you worry about it! *turns on record player* Ahhh Bach!

OOC: I'm sorta grounded right now (I'm not even supposed online right now) so I won't be able to post again till after Tuesday.

[D'Snowth]

*sitting at Col. Potters desk* No, Radar, they're not. They're taking quite some time. Ah well! Don't you worry about it! *turns on record player* Ahhh Bach! Um, will there be anything else Major Winchester, sir, Major?
OOC: I'm sorta grounded right now (I'm not even supposed online right now) so I won't be able to post again till after Tuesday.
Ooh, darn, darn, darn... we need a Hawkeye! We need a B.J.! We need Colonel Potter, Margaret, Klinger, Father Mulcahy!

[Beakerfan]

Oh uh, Radar, do you fancy chess? Seeing as there's nothing else to do..... might as well.....


OOC: Come on! I know there are more M*A*S*H fans out there! Play people!

[Winslow Leach]

OOC: Come on! I know there are more M*A*S*H fans out there! Play people!

I think I'm too tall to fit into one of Klinger's dresses...:D

[D'Snowth]

Oh uh, Radar, do you fancy chess? Seeing as there's nothing else to do..... might as well.....Uh, well I do like it on crackers sometimes, and my Uncle Ed eats it on his toast... do you have any of those "fancy chesses" I've heard about?

I think I'm too tall to fit into one of Klinger's dresses...:DOOC: You could still be Klinger if you want, after all, Beakie's a little too feminine to for Charles, if you know what I mean.

[Andy]

I'm pretty spiritual, I can be Father Mulcahy!

Mulcahy enters Potter's Office: Excuse me Colonel....oh, Major Winchester, I thought Colonel Potter would be back by now...I wanted to discuss the recent disappearance of the sacramental wine from the case in my tent. Not that I suspect Hawkeye or B.J., but they have been behaving pretty strange since the still broke.

[D'Snowth]

*Chuckles* Funny thing, I just saw Klinger over to Rosie's bar with a bottle of wine just before I left for... *looks up and darts eyes back and forth* I think that may have been the same bottle of wine, I think...

[Andy]

Oh, dear. Of course, Radar, a man is innocent until proven guilty. Klinger may do crazy things to get the Section Eight, but I don't think he'd steal sacramental wine from a priest. I'll go over to Rosie's and check for myself. I'm sure there must be a logical explanation. By the way, Radar, did a letter come from my sister's convent? Im waiting to hear if she's been named Mother Superior yet.

[D'Snowth]

Oh yeah, it just came this morning, but I didn't see anything about a superior mother, just a note about her team winning the basketball tournament, and the convent treating them to a barbeque in the courtyard with steaks, hotdogs, hamburgers, cole-slaw, and... *pauses* Uh, the, um, envelope dropped on the floor and broke open, and um I couldn't help but see some of what your sister, the Sister had written, and um... *to Charles* uh, will there be anything else, Major?

[Beakerfan]

[quote=D'Snowth;556622]Uh, well I do like it on crackers sometimes, and my Uncle Ed eats it on his toast... do you have any of those "fancy chesses" I've heard about?
quote]
That's CHEESE you dimwit! And I'm sure if you wanted cheese Klinger has some hidden somewhere. That will be all, Radar.

[D'Snowth]

Oh... well... come on, Father...

*Walks out of Colonel Potter's office, and into the outer office, where a bag of mail is spilled on the floor*

I haven't had time to deliver everyone's mail just yet, since I got back from R&R... *picks up envelopes* let's see... Capt. Hunnicutt, Capt. Hunnicutt, Capt. Hunnicutt, Major Winchester, Master Charles, Capt. Pierce's Nudist Magazine, a package from Klinger, oh here we go: Father Mulcahy.

*Hands Father Mulcahy his letter*

[Andy]

Ah, thank you, Radar. I'm anxious to read about the basketball game, my sister has quite a hook shot, you know. Her slam dunk is nothing to sneeze at either. I'll have to read it later, though. I must find that sacramental wine before services this week. (Mulcahy exits)

[Beakerfan]

*recieves mail from Radar* Ah! I see I got one from my sister Honoria! And this one.... appears to be from..... my banker no doubt. *exits office and heads towards Swamp*

[D'Snowth]

*Phone rings*

*Answers* 4077th MASH, Corporal O'Rei... oh hey Sparky, how's it going? Yeah? Really? Well, how are things down at H.Q.? Uh-huh. Oh wow... are you sure? Well gee this is a pickle, Colonel Potter and Captain Pierce aren't back from the aid station yet, and I sure would hate to spring this on Major Winchester now, when do we... THAT soon? Oh gee! Okay, well, I'll tell him. Yeah, see you later, Sparky. *Hangs up*

*Walks over to the Swamp*

Uh... Major Winchester?

[Beakerfan]

*without looking up from reading letter* Yes, what is it Radar?

[D'Snowth]

Um, sir, I just got a phone call from H.Q., and I have something really important to tell you, but it's kind of bad, and I wish I didn't have to tell you, but I gotta tell you, so I guess I don't got no other choice but to tell you what I have to tell you!

[Beakerfan]

Well spit it out then Radar! I'm a very busy man and I haven't got all day!

[D'Snowth]

Okay... *deep breath* I-Corps has ordered an immediate bug-out, the front has shifted again, we have to move ten miles north.

[D'Snowth]

OOC: Here's the latest cast list...

Major Charles Emerson Winchester III - Beakerfan
Corporal Walter Eugene "Radar" O'Reilly - D'Snowth
Father Francis John Patrick Mulcahy - Andy

We could still use a Hawkeye, B.J., Colonel Potter, Margaret, and Klinger if anyone's interested!

[Beakerfan]

Okay... *deep breath* I-Corps has ordered an immediate bug-out, the front has shifted again, we have to move ten miles north.

Allright, well then! Everyone will need to start packing up, and uh, Radar you will have to get ahold of Pierce and the Colonel.

[D'Snowth]

you will have to get ahold of Pierce and the Colonel.*Overlap* I already tried to get ahold of Captain Pierce and the Colonel, and the lines are down because of the shelling up at the aid station.

[Beakerfan]

Well, never mind that then! Go help the Father start packing up, why don't you? I'm sure even he needs help sometimes in this God-forsaken place.... *begins packing up the Swamp*

[D'Snowth]

Um, Major, I was just thinking, maybe one of the enlistedmen could sign out a jeep and drive up to the aid station to let Captain Pierce, and Colonel Potter know that we're bugging out...

[Beakerfan]

*very serious look* Brilliant idea, Radar. I don't understand why I hadn't thought of that.... *ponders for a moment* Well, you do that Radar, and I'll go see how Father Mulcahy is coming along.... *goes to find the Father*

[D'Snowth]

*Stays behind in the Swamp for a second with wide eyes, and a dropped jaw* ME? ! Go up there with all the shelling, and walking bushing, and disappearing roads, and Chinese musicians, and shelling? ! Oh gee!

*Moments later, Radar is driving down a bumpy dirty road, wearing a soldier helmet, as bombs goes off along the way*

Oh boy, me and my big mouth!

[Andy]

(hears Major Winchester enter his tent) Why, Major Winchester, what a surprise! You don't usually come to my tent. Is there something I can help you with?

[Beakerfan]

Why, yes, Father, I believe there is. You see, it appears the front has shifted - again - and we have been ordered to move 10 miles north. I have already sent Radar to go find Pierce and Colonel Potter and inform them of this. However, there is a slight problem. It seems that you and I are the only ones left here, and well, we need to begin packing up.

[D'Snowth]

Why, yes, Father, I believe there is. You see, it appears the front has shifted - again - and we have been ordered to move 10 miles north. I have already sent Radar to go find Pierce and Colonel Potter and inform them of this. However, there is a slight problem. It seems that you and I are the only ones left here, and well, we need to begin packing up.OOC: This is why we desperately need the others, and fast!

BIC: *Radar continues driving down the bumpy road as a shell goes off right in front of him*

WAHHHHHHHHHHH!

*Swerves back and forth down the road as the shelling continues*

Oh, great idea! "We ought to send one of the enlistedmen up to warn Captain Pierce and Colonel Potter!"... why didn't I remember that I'M an enlistedman?

*Jeep breaks down*

CRIPES!

*Pulls over*

Oh gee! Oh I don't know anything about engines...

*Opens hood and looks around*

Let's see... here's some metal stuff... and some rubber stuff... and some plastic stuff... and... holy socks...

*Silence, there's no more shelling, but there's a light rustling*

OMG!

*Grabs helmet, and hides in the bushes*

[Beakerfan]

OOC: Maybe we should get some people from BCA to come join?

[Andy]

That's horrible! Major, we've only done this once before! I know Colonel Potter has a priority list. I believe we're supposed to start with the O.R, but after that, I have no idea. Dear Lord, what about the patients! They'll have to be transported as well. Let's start with the surgical ward and Post-Op. (praying) Lord, I know you're very busy watching over everyone in fighting in this police action, but could you get a move on and find Colonel Potter and Captain Pierce, and get them back here on the double? Uhhhhh, Amen!

[Beakerfan]

All right then! The surgical ward it is! Come along, Father, we haven't got much time! *quickly heads to the OR* *thinks* I wonder how Radar is coming along....

[Beakerfan]

OOC: The other day, I was going through my grandpa's things (he passed away recently, for those of you who don't know. I wasn't stealing from him) and I found one of his belt buckles. It says "WINCHESTER rifles, Hartfor Conn." How sweet is that?

[D'Snowth]

All right then! The surgical ward it is! Come along, Father, we haven't got much time! *quickly heads to the OR* *thinks* I wonder how Radar is coming along....
*Meanwhile, down that bumpy dirt road, Radar is hiding in the bushes after his jeep broke down; he peers through the bushes and sees a couple of North Koreans emerge from the bushes across the road where they spot the jeep. Radar quietly gasps and tries to duck down furthur into the woods as one North Korea examines the bush with his rifle. The rest manage to get the jeep going again, and they all drive off, leaving Radar by himself in the shrubs.

Oh gee, I signed the jeep out! I'll have to pay for it... and I'm poor!

*So Radar debates in his mind whether to continue for the aid station on foot, or run back to camp*.

[Andy]

(my note) Sorry I haven't continued the story in a while...pop-up ad trojan trouble.

MULCAHY (in the O.R.) I suggest we start by getting the fixtures out...tables and lamps. Then we can concentrate on the gas tanks, the surgical tools, the meds, and we have to get that autoclave out. If you have a better solution, Major, I'm all ears, but we don't have much time!

[dwayne1115]

ill be hawkeye where should i begin ahh hotlips (kisses hotlips on the mouth with a deep and pasionet kiss) did you miss me. Wait a minite Klinger what are you doing i thought for sure you where Hotlips.

[D'Snowth]

*Radar had made up his mind, and decided to continue to the Aid Station on foot, figuring that he'd rather have to deal with letting Hawkeye and Colonel Potter know they're bugging out, than letting Charles know that a jeep was stolen*

OOC: Great that we have Hawkeye now... now we still need volunteers for B.J., Colonel Potter, and Margaret.

OOC Again: Hey Andy, it just came across to me that you could use a Father Mulcahy avatar!

[Princeton]

Hey Radar, what's your hurry?

[D'Snowth]

Hey Klinger, what are you doing all the way up here? Don't you know we're bugging out?

[Beakerfan]

Charles: Where did Klinger run off to? I thought I just saw him here.... Well, since we're finished up here let's start over there. *heads towards office*

[Princeton]

We're bugging out; no kidding? Holy cow! I've gotta get all my dresses packed up!

[dwayne1115]

Hawkeye: (Laying in the Swamp with drink in hand)

Oh Charles is in charge? (wait thats a whole nother thread) Where is B.J the still needs some work. We got to move again ugg just think we move more then the war itself does.

[D'Snowth]

We're bugging out; no kidding? Holy cow! I've gotta get all my dresses packed up!
Hey Klinger, listen, I was heading down to the aid station to warn Colonel Potter and Captain Pierce about the bug-out, and a band of North Koreans stole the jeep, listen, do me a favor and don't tell Major Winchester, he'll hit me!

OOC: Hey Hawk, what are you doing all the way back at the Swamp, and not the aid station?

[dwayne1115]

Hawkeye:
I Refuse to leave the swamp, because they told me i could not bring the still well if they want Benjaman Franklan Pirces then they will let me have my still
(looks at Charles when saying that)

[Princeton]

Hey Klinger, listen, I was heading down to the aid station to warn Colonel Potter and Captain Pierce about the bug-out, and a band of North Koreans stole the jeep, listen, do me a favor and don't tell Major Winchester, he'll hit me!

Hey, don't worry, kid; I can handle that!

[D'Snowth]

Thanks Klinger, I gotta go!

*Continues on for the aid station*

[dwayne1115]

Hawkeye: (leaving the Swamp)

Hey who is in charge here and where is everyone I'm about to call Sidney down here to talk to everyone. The only sane one in the outfit is klinger.

[Beakerfan]

Charles: Pierce? What on earth are you doing here? I thought you were up at the aid station! Radar's gone to go find you and the Colonel! Well, seeing as I'm in charge, go clean up the Swamp. But DON'T touch my things!

[D'Snowth]

*Radar is now three quarters of a way to the aid station*

Oh boy, I feel like I've been walking down this road for days! Boy, if I don't get there soon, they'll have to bug-out without us, and we don't got no wheels!

[dwayne1115]

Hawkeye: (Walking back to the Swamp)

Thanks Charles oh great leader, Im a doctor not a maid!
(Thinks: Could Raidr really need some help.)

[Andy]

Father Mulcahy sees Pierce from across the compound: Hawkeye! What are you doing back here? Where's Colonel Potter? You DO realize we're in bug out? We've finished the O.R, but nobody seems to know what fets packed next. Is it the lab or Post Op, and we have to start transporting the wounded. You also realize Radar's gone to look for you? I'm glad you're safe, but we're in real trouble here!

[dwayne1115]

Hawkeye:
Father thank you now i realize what is going on. You start transporting the wounded and i will go look for Radar. The faster we get these people moved the beter. (Sees an abaondon jeep) Hey Father do you happen to know how to hotwire a jeep.

[D'Snowth]

*Radar finally makes it to the aid station, where he runs up to an MP guarding the doorway*

RADAR: Oh, hi! I'm Corporal Radar O'Reilly, of the 4077th MASH, I gotta see Captain Pierce and Colonel Potter, it's very urgent! *Tries to walk in*

MP: Whoa there, fella.

RADAR: COME ON, THIS IS SERIOUS! We're bugging out! Captain Pierce is Chief Surgeon, and Colonel Potter is our C.O., I gotta let them know we're bugging out and where we're moving too!

MP: We know, I-Corps called, looking for the Captain and the Colonel, that's why they just left.

RADAR: What? !

MP: Pierce and Potter got news about the bug-out, and we let them go about two hours ago to head back to the 4077th to pack up for the bug-out.

*Radar faints*

MP: *Rushes inside* MEDIC? MEDIC!

[Andy]

My sister taught me on an old DeSoto before I entered the seminary, I suppose I could give it a try. (opens the hood). Oh dear, this is nothing like the DeSoto. Let me try a few things (goes to work).

[dwayne1115]

Hawkeye: Hurry Father When Radar finds out that im not at the aid staiton no telling whats going to happen.

[D'Snowth]

*Funny thing Hawkeye should mention that, for now, Radar has been layed to rest on a pile of blankets in the corner on the aid station, while another MP tries to revive him with smelling salts.

[dwayne1115]

Hakeye: I better bring some supluseys with me no telling what Raidar has gotten into.

(Looks at the jeep) hurry Father hurry we dont have much time.

[Andy]

There we are (engine roars to life). Now Hawkeye, no matter what, don't idle the engine for more than 10 minutes, or the engine will cut out. If that happens, you'll need to touch the two black wires near the gas pedal. I'm off to Post-Op to help move patients. Godspeed, Hawkeye, and good luck!

[dwayne1115]

(pats the good Father on the back) Thanks Father (jumps into the Jeep)
Im comming Raidar!

[D'Snowth]

*Meanwhile, back at the aid station*

MP: (Waving a bottle of smelling salts under Radar's nose) Hey, I think he's coming to...

RADAR: (Groggily) Mmmyeah ma... feed the chickens... slop the hogs... I know... soee...

[dwayne1115]

(pulls up to aid staion and get out of jeep) (walks over to M.P and asks where Radar is)
They lead me to where Radiar is.
Hawkeye: Radiar are you ok whats going on I'v been looking for you everywhere this is no time for a nap. We got wounded to move.

[D'Snowth]

RADAR: (Mumbles) Maaaaaaaaaa, I already moved the dune...

MP: He's a little groggy, he said something about coming all the way down here looking for you and Colonel Potter because of a bug-out, and he just passed out.

RADAR: (Grogg) Uncle Ed, did you pass out the invitations to my birthday party?

[dwayne1115]

Hawkeye:
He'll be fine he has had a long day I'll take him with me he sould be fine.
(picks up Raidar and buts him in the jeep and starts back to the 4077)

[D'Snowth]

*Radar slowly comes to*

Oh, not so fast ma, I'm getting car sick... I... Hawkeye? Hawkeye? ! HAWKEYE! I've been looking for you and Colonel Potter, we're bugging out, and one of the jeeps was stolen, and I had to walk the whole way, and Klinger was hiding in the bushes, and I got to the aid station and they said you already left, and now Colonel Potter's going to think I'm AWOL without leave! He'll kill me right after Major Winchester kills me!

[dwayne1115]

Hawkeye: Don't worry Raidar, It's my falt (for comming in on this RPG late) I'll deal with good ol' Charles. You know he is reminding me more and more of Frank Burns!

[D'Snowth]

Hawkeye: Don't worry Raidar, It's my falt (for comming in on this RPG late) I'll deal with good ol' Charles. You know he is reminding me more and more of Frank Burns!

BOY, I'd hate to tell HIM one of our jeeps was stolen1

[dwayne1115]

Hawkeye:
What this old thing i was going to throw it back.
(pulls up to camp)
Ok Raidar, I want you to go and Find Father Mucahy if he has more wounded to move help him. Then i want you to get a list of all the wounded and post op paitents from the most critical to the one who are in the best condition. then get everyone and meet me and Major Whinchester in Potter's office. I am going to have a word with Charles. Oh and if you run out of things to do call sparky and see if he has heard anything from or about B.J Potter and Holahand if they are missing we will have to send out a search party, but not untill everything else is taken care of.

(Walks in to Potter's Office)
Hi charles did you miss me.

[Beakerfan]

Charles: Me? Miss you? Quite frankly I was rather enjoying the solitude. But now that you're back, get to work. Is Radar with you?

[dwayne1115]

Hawkeye: Yes Raidar is here and he is gone to help Father Mocaehe. What has gone on here have you made any plans about what to do next? have you heard from B.J Potter or hotlips? If we are in a bug out then we need to be moving a little bit faster then what your doing. Raidar is getting a list of the paitents from most critical to the ones that need less care. When he shows up we need to make some sort of plan about who is going where and how.

Oh by the way you remind me alot of a Frank Bruns!

[Beakerfan]

*several days later, the unit is all packed up and ready to move*
Charles: Oh, Radar? Have we received any news from the Colonel yet?

[D'Snowth]

*Radar is STILL in the latrine*

I'll be out in a minute Ma... Ma... Maj... *barfs*

[Beakerfan]

Charles: Dear God boy are you all right? Perhaps you should let me take a look at you. I am a doctor after all.

[dwayne1115]

Hawkeye: Radiar your real sick if i where you i would have a doctor look at you.

[D'Snowth]

*Emerges from the latrine, looking very pale*

I'm okay... honest...

[ReneeLouvier]

(hope you don't mind me jumping in as Colonel Potter, D'Snowth)

Just got back from scouting out the new area, come now we've gotta get this unit moving! Houlihan and Hunnicutt are already on the move up there with some of the more critial patients!

*Sees Radar coming from the latrine*

Son, are you alright? Looks like some bug hit you big time!

[Andy]

(Mulcahy comes out of Post-Op with an ambulatory patient): "Don't worry my son, God will protect us during the bug out, I'm sure. I'll check back with you at the new location to see how you are. (sees Potter) Colonel! Praise the Lord you're all right! The O.R. is packed, and I'm just about finished helping all the patients who can move alone or with a little help. We still need to move the patients who are bed-ridden. (looks at Radar). Radar, are you all right?

[D'Snowth]

I'm fine... I'm fine... I... gotta go to the latrine again...

*Runs inside*

*Hurls*

[Andy]

Mulcahy (calls after Radar): Don't worry, Radar, this too shall pass...I hope. Colonel, about Major Winchester's handling of the bug-out...he could certainly use your help, as could we all, and I still don't have the foggiest idea as to what happened to my bottle of sacremental wine.