2007 Muppet Presidential Election Part 3

[Fozzie Bear]

Voting Commission:
The rules follow, and the candidates are in the poll for 10 days after it begins.

Each candidate is to now post an opening statement to win their voters, and all MC members who open this thread are encouraged to participate in this game and vote.

[Fozzie Bear]

THE RULES

2007 Muppet Presidential Election begins

By Dwayne1115


Quote:
Well i have been watching alot of news as of late and i think a neat kind of game would be "The Next Muppet President Campain 2008" with all the plotices going on i think it would be neat to see some muppet mud slinging in all clean fun. i want to see what people think before i start this though.

Those 3 players will be assigned certain Muppet characters, who will later be listed in the polls to be voted for by MC members. In the meantime, Dwayne1115 will be the Game Host, asking the "Muppets" questions (non-serious, obviously nothing controversial) as if in a debate. All the "Muppets" will be given a chance to answer the question before the next question is asked, thus trying to convince why they (ie, the Muppet Character) would be the best President!

And, at Kimp's suggestion here's the game thread.

This lends itself open to a good, long game of fun and mirth. I will close the game, however, if it gets out of hand and serious or not within Muppet Central's family-fun atmosphere.

To discuss this game along the way, use this thread:
http://forum.muppetcentral.com/showthread.php?t=22606

To understand the rules of role-play as characters, see this post:
http://forum.muppetcentral.com/showp...07&postcount=1

The election committee has convened and the ballots for Muppety President are as follows. An important note ends this post for two of the characters that have been chosen need an exception to role-playing rules. Keep in mind that the campaign is for Muppet President, the MC member is the running mate, and all posts must be made in the character which he/she is to represent.

Here's what we'll do (more rules):
1) Each Muppet candidate will post one post to follow this announcement which will be his/her campaign announcement speech.
2) At the end of each person's speech the ballot will be cast for voting to begin.
3) At the end of a certain period of time, the one with the least amount of votes will have to concede to the other campaigning Muppets; however, he/she may still participate in the game by rallying for the Muppet he/she will be voting for.
4) The game will end when the last Muppet stands.

DISCLAIMER:-Game rules can be altered at any time. Keep a check on post #'s 1 and 2 of this thread.
-This thread may be locked if a new one has to be opened in the event the polls may not be altered when begun.

On the ticket for Muppet President are:
(Muppet Presidential Candidate/MC Forum Member Running Mate)

Grover Monster/theprawncracker
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew/Luke
Miss Piggy/Ruahnna

Beaker/Beakerfan (conceded to the other candidates)
Yorick/G-Man (conceded to the other candidates)
Pepe the Kingprawn/Kimp the Shrimp (conceded to the other candidates)

(To see the outcome of prior voting, please see this thread:
http://forum.muppetcentral.com/showthread.php?t=31572)

SPECIAL NOTE/RULE(S):
For the purposes of this game, rather than "meeps," Beaker will be able to speak and be understood; and, rather than grunts, Yorick will be allowed to speak and be understood (quite like we allow Camilla to speak in words rather than just clucks in other role-playing games in the past).

[The Count]

Scooter: Come one! Come all! Vote for Piggy for MC President!!!

[Aaron]

Ru know you wanna vote for miss piggy!

[theprawncracker]

Grover: *wipes brow* Phew, this race sure is getting close! Come on everyobdy! You know you want to vote for you favorite furry, blue monster, Grover, eh? Come on! You can do it!

[The Count]

Scooter, reading the latest poll results: Thanks Aaron. Here's an autographed campaign poster for you. Oh, and a bag of cookies for you to take back home. We here at the Miss Piggy camp applaud the efforts of all those voting for her in this, one of the most important primaries for 2007 MC President.

[Beakerfan]

Beaker: Oh this is too much! I can't decide! Should I vote for Piggy, who reminds me so much of Alex? Or should I vote for the cute cuddly one? But then again, who knows if Grover is really all that cute? Or maybe I should vote for my former partner, who for years I trusted and still came to constant bodily harm due to his obliviousness?

[The Count]

Scooter: Oh hi Beaker. Maybe you should go talk to Kermit, he'd probably be able to give you some unbias advice.Beaker: Oh this is too much! I can't decide! Should I vote for Piggy, who reminds me so much of Alex? Or should I vote for the cute cuddly one? But then again, who knows if Grover is really all that cute? Or maybe I should vote for my former partner, who for years I trusted and still came to constant bodily harm due to his obliviousness?

[redBoobergurl]

Cookie: Me going on hunger strike. No more cookies until everyone vote for Grover
*Anything Muppet walks by with a plate full of fresh baked cookies*
Cookie: Me would like to recind that statement. No more VEGGIES until everyone vote for Grover
*goes and tackles Anything Muppet and chows down on cookies*

[theprawncracker]

Grover: *watching Cookie Monster* Well, there is one more vote we will not be getting. Oh, and mister Beaker! I really am cute and cuddly! Would you like to see? *hugs Beaker* See? All cute and fuzzy!

[Beakerfan]

Beaker: I feel all warm and toasty inside now! But you guys are gonna have to be really convincing in order to get my vote. I was running against you not too long ago, you know!

[theprawncracker]

Grover: You are tired of running, you say? Oh! We can fix that! Herry, Cookie Monster, get mister Beaker a nice comfy recliner and a bowl of popcorn!

[The Count]

Scooter: Wha huh? Comfy recliner and bowl of popcorn?
Well.... If you come with me you'll find...
*Reveals reading room with armchairs, buttered scones, mystery novels and piping kettle of tea, along with a flat-screen TV for watching movies.

We had this place furbished for the RHLC people, they should be here soon. And I'm sure that those people will be greatly impressed with meeting you Beaker, one of their Muppety heroes. But we should really have a chat about Piggy's platform, to see if we can try to earn your vote.

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Where are they getting all of these things?

[Luke]

Grover: Where are they getting all of these things?

Luke: I know what you mean Grover. Seems like our running partner's campaign management seem to be able to offer a lot, you have to wonder who is funding this campaign, especially as i'd have thought the biggest allowance would be Piggy's clothing budget. And about Miss Piggy's platform, i'd have thought she was more of a stilletos kinda girl, lol

**The above views expressed were independant of Dr Bunsen Honeydew, who is out today visiting sick orphans and interviewing candidates for his forthcoming boyband**

[The Count]

Scooter, on the phone: Hi Janice. Yeah, we'll be needing the Electric Mayhem for another rockin' gig tomorrow. Oh, you did? Good, I'll tell her Josie and the Pussycats as well as the Hex Girls will be performing with you. Should be a great concert and I hope the televised address Piggy will deliver Tuesday night garners her some more votes, along with everybody understanding the entirety of her campaign platform. Thanks Janice.
*Finishes conversation and hangs up.

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Um, Herry, Cookie Monster, I think we need a band too. Someone call Hoots, and tell him to bring everybody from Sesame Street. Oh, and bring their pots and pans too. We blew all of the budget on cake, ice cream, and that not very nice kitty cat.

[BEAR]

Hoots: (on the horn...slang for phone, not actual horn...with Herry) Sure, no problem! I'll get right on it! (hangs up) Hey, dudes! We got a gig!

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Scooter: Wha huh? Comfy recliner and bowl of popcorn?
Well.... If you come with me you'll find...
*Reveals reading room with armchairs, buttered scones, mystery novels and piping kettle of tea, along with a flat-screen TV for watching movies.

We had this place furbished for the RHLC people, they should be here soon. And I'm sure that those people will be greatly impressed with meeting you Beaker, one of their Muppety heroes. But we should really have a chat about Piggy's platform, to see if we can try to earn your vote.

Armchairs, tea and scones and mystery novels...bless you, Scooter. (proceeds to fly at the gofer and give him a hug and a smooch) And yes, I did cast a vote for (cough, cough).

[Skye]

Scooter: Wha huh? Comfy recliner and bowl of popcorn?
Well.... If you come with me you'll find...
*Reveals reading room with armchairs, buttered scones, mystery novels and piping kettle of tea, along with a flat-screen TV for watching movies.

We had this place furbished for the RHLC people, they should be here soon. And I'm sure that those people will be greatly impressed with meeting you Beaker, one of their Muppety heroes. But we should really have a chat about Piggy's platform, to see if we can try to earn your vote.
Hi Scooter! :D Oh, I've been around here a bit, just luurrrrking. Awesome to have a place to hang now!

And wouldn't you like to know who I voted for! ;) Let's just say I've been voting for them since the beginning. And they've been doing pretty darn good!

[Luke]

I'll tell her Josie and the Pussycats as well as the Hex Girls will be performing with you.

Luke: YOU'VE GOT THE PUSSYCAT DOLL'S ???? I might have to seriously reconsider who even i'm voting for this round.

*** The opinions expressed above are independant of Dr Bunsen, who is currently mediating the Iraq problems between President Bush and Congress. He'll be back soon with an announcement bound to surge his vote popularity ***

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Oh, thank you mister Hoots, you are too kind. Now, if you could set up over there, yeah, that's great.

[BEAR]

Hoots: Uhh...I need to tell ya, Grover...the rest of the band couldn't make it. A couple of the guys had other engagements, the keyboardist is sick and my drummer is in semi-retirement. But don't worry...I did manage to find a few last minute replacements. Come on in, guys!
Honker: *Honk honk*
Dinger: *Ding ding ding ding!*
Hoots: I know it isn't quite what we were planning, but I'm sure they'll do just fine.

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Oh, that is fine mister Hoots, they certainly look like a... creative bunch!

[Beakerfan]

Beaker: Hey, that Hoots band looks like it's just up my alley! *runs and takes a seat infront of the stage*

[Beauregard]

Mr Grover, Mr Grover. Hi. I'm from the Planet of the World Press, and we were wondering your opinions on clothing. You, generally, do not have any...clothing on. Should this be the case for everyone, or are you an exception?

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Oh, on the contrary my little reporter friend. I, Grover, wear clothes all of the time. When I am Super Grover I have a cute little cape and helmet, and when I am a waiter I have cufflinks, and when I am Global Grover I have a whole cornocopia of outfits at my disposal from all around the world! I think you are looking to talk to Froggy baby about this one. He never wears clothes.

[Beauregard]

*snapping of cameras* So, you're saying that when you are President, we need only wear capes and cufflinks for acceptable behavior?

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Sure, if there is a cute furry blue coat covering what should always be covered.

[Beauregard]

*heads out to buy a blue furry coat*

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Well, I am glad that I have influenced yet another person in the world of fashion. Cookie Monster, when is that band going to start playing?

[Bill Bubble Guy]

Well naturally I voted for Piggy.
After all she's beautiful, talented and if I voted for anyone else let's just say she wouldn't be very happy with me at all. ;)

[Beakerfan]

Beaker: Yup you read that right! Mr. Indecisive has made his decision! Henceforth I shall be rooting for Bunsen, first of all because it just seems wrong to completely turn my back on him, and secondly because he has done absolutely nothing to try and win my vote! Now there's a great reason, aint it?;)

[The Count]

... Scooter: Thankyou Marty, here's a Vote for Piggy pin for you and another one for your roommate. Feel free to have some of the refreshing soda, the concert we lined up's about to start.
*The Electric Mayhem, now finally all together again, file past their road manager to set up their instruments on the stage. Two gorgeous girl groups of singers will join them later in the night.

Uh Grover, Cookie Monster's not here yet.
Count, deciding to sit in the audience and enjoy the concert instead of playing backup violin for the band: Oh hi Hoots, didn't hexpect you back from your national tour so soon. And greetings Bill, glad you decided to vote for Piggy, she's gotten my support through all the rounds of woting.

Scooter, calling after reporter named Bo: Why buy a furry blue coat?! You can just shear off Dan's hair instead!

[BEAR]

Ernie: We're here! We're here!
Bert: Came over as soon as we heard.
Telly: (carrying his instruments) I even brought my tuba aaaand my triangle. Hehe!
Ernie: I would have brought my drums, but it would have been too much for me to carry.
Bert: You mean too much for me to carry.
Ernie: But I did bring Rubber Duckie! His little duckie soul is full of music!
*squeak squeak*
Hoots: Cool, dudes!

[The Count]

*Jazzy sounds of the Electric Mayhem can be heard from the stage as they prepare for Can You Picture That?, their signature song.
Count: Ah, that's 4, 4 friends from Sesame Street joining us tonight!

[Ruahnna]

Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: (laughing gaily) Oh! haha! Vote for Moi! Here is a gorgous button for you! Oh, and aren't you sweet! I watch my movies all the time, too! How very charming of vous! Oh--here is a different button--this one shows of my presidential ball gown. Moi promises to always be the most expensively dressed president at any national function! And Moi will not allow any ambassadors from other countries to persist in bad hair days if they are going to meet with me in the soon-to-be-renamed White House. I was thinking about calling it the Green House--what do you think?
Scooter: (whispering) Um, Miss Piggy, I think people will get a different picture in their heads if you call the White House the Green House. You see, a greenhouse is where you grow green things.
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: Like frogs?
Scooter: Um, no. I mean, frogs are green, but they don't grow in greenhouses. I mean, they could, I guess, but it would probably be all hot and sticky and--
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: (sweetly) Scooter?
Scooter: Yes ma'am?
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: (briskly) Vous are babbling.
Scooter: (sighing) Yes ma'am. Um, have you finished signing all of those programs. We promised everyone who attended an autographed program with your picture on it.
Rizzo: And they came anyway! Hehhehhehhehe
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: Hiiiii Yaaaaaaa! (thwack!)
Rizzo: (weakly, from the floor) Um, can't argue with that....aagghhh.
Miss Piggy and Scooter look at each other and shrug.
Scooter: Um, the programs?
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: Moi has signed all of them with her signature purple pen.
Scooter: Thanks, Miss Piggy. I'll make sure they get out to everyone.
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: Oh, and Scooter?
Scooter: Ma'am?
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: After the Electric Mayhem plays, will the boy's choir be ready to sing?
Scooter: You mean the one from Robin's school? Yep--they're waiting in the, um, wings.
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: I thought they were frogs....
Scooter: Um...
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: Kidding! (pats him on head) Lighten up, Scooter! The night is young and I look marvelous! Ooh! I must pass out more buttons before the show starts!
Scooter puts a weary hand over his face just as Kermit approaches.
Kermit: So how goes the campaign?
Scooter: It goes. We're waiting for the auditorium to fill up so the band can start.
Kermit: (peeking out from behind curtain) Looks good. Piggy ready with her speech?
Scooter: (shrugging) As far as I can tell. You know how she is--she always knows her lines.
Kermit: True. Oh! Look there--some of the guys from the street are here! I've got to go say "hi." (He trots off.)
Scooter: (muttering to self, looking at clipboard) Lets see, EM, frog's choir and the special guest. Guess we're all ready to go!

[redBoobergurl]

Cookie: Me here now! Strike up the band!

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Yes, Hootsy babieeeeeeee! Hit it! ...Hit it again!

[The Count]

*On the stage...
Dr. Teeth: Hey, what's keepin' the music from flowing from our talented terpsichoric thumbs and fast-flying fingers?
Janice: Like, I think the crowd's getting in their seats.
Floyd: Uh-oh, Animal's startin' to lose it.
Zoot: Huh?
Clifford: Naw man, go back to sleep.

*The auditorium doors close at the last few people are accomodated at their seats by Pops who's agreed to be the usher for the concert.
EM: All right, let's rock!!!
They launch into their song with the gusto of a fully revd-up musical mayhem, pouring out the rhythm and pounding out the melody as only they can.

[Beauregard]

Piggy, oh Miss Piggy, I'm here from the Blow-Your-Own-Horn Bugle rag, and wondered if you would answer a question. When...if, you are elected what would your policy be on the topic of Talking Food?

[The Count]

Scooter: Miss Piggy has declined to answer any questions from such a questionable source of yellow journalism. No comment will be issued at this time.

[Bill Bubble Guy]

Bill: This is exciting Marty. The Electric Mayhem are marvellous.

Marty: Yeah Bill. I can't understand why they didn't perform on Muppets Tonight at all. Animal was certainly around a lot. Where were the others?

Bill: Some of them appeared briefly here and there but you're right. They were basically split up.

Marty: Well it's great to see them together again and look even Lips has just come out to join them for the next number with his trumpet. Oh boy. I hope they get back together for future Muppet Productions, including Lips.

Bill: That would be terrific. They're one of the best bands around.

Marty: And we also must remember to thank Ed for our Vote for Piggy badges.

Bill: Yes. We'll write him a thank you note.

Marty: And I hope you've drunk plenty of bubble liquid Bill. I have a full bottle with my bubble wand handy.

Bill: Oh you bet Marty. We must have plenty of reserves on hand.

Marty: Yes. Just in case Piggy doesn't win and she takes her frustration out on her poor voters we want to be able to make our quick getaway in a cover of bubbles.
(winks at Bill who nods his head. shaking hands with a shared heh-heh they settle down to enjoy the Mayhem's music.

[Beauregard]

*more hands raise in the busy crowd* Dr Buns, Dr Buns, we here at Manic Medial Journals were wondering about your proposed reforms of the Music industry. Is it true that you will make all music shared over the Internet both legal and encouraged?

[The Count]

Hey Marty... Glad you're enjoying the musical acts. *Notices the seven members of the maniacal musical marauders make way for the next act on tap.
Oh hey, Robin's frog scout troop are up next. Wonder what they'll sing for us.

*Leans back in seat to watch the performance.

[Luke]

*more hands raise in the busy crowd* Dr Buns, Dr Buns, we here at Manic Medial Journals were wondering about your proposed reforms of the Music industry. Is it true that you will make all music shared over the Internet both legal and encouraged?

Dr Bunz: Indeed i will young fellow. Under Dr Bunz all MP3's will become MPFREE's. We will fund this exciting development by selling Michael Jackson for medical research.

Muppet Newsman: This is a Muppet Newsflash. Poodle found at McDonalds .... answers to the name of Big Mac. In other news, violence, disruption, illegal harmonica playing - all at the Miss Piggy presidential concert today. Riots broke out in the stands as the Muppet Illusion Police raided the stage and found management had no imaginary music license.

:o :eek:

[The Count]

Lewis Kazagger: The Muppet Illusion police turned what was a perfectly peaceful enjoyment of music at the Miss Piggy campaign rally into an utter silly and pointless bust. They apologized for their interruption and promptly scurried off to the Bunsen Honeydew camp where they arrested Dr. Buns for illegal activities in turning MP3's into MPFREE's, as they were to be converted into MP4's especially since he was revving at 70 MPH, far exceeding the recording speed limit.
More on this story as it develops.

Gonzo would've loved that weirdness.
*Sits back down checking he has all his belongings. Oh, the Hex Girls are readying for their musical number. Good, I love this spooky singing group.

[Luke]

Rizzo The Rat: I would like to um deny the above allegations. Dr Bunz was touring the Neverland Ranch at the time looking for the remains of The Elephant Man and was not at his camp headquarters. The Muppet Illusion Police had been given false information by the Miss Piggy camp and arrested Andy Pig by mistake. However the Muppet Illusion Police turned out to be aliens on a mission and have taken Andy to the planet Pogo where he will become their king. So um, didn't someone promise me FREE CHEESE for making this announcement ?

[Beauregard]

Was it Cheese, or Rat Poison? Cheese, Rat Poison? *is hit by a boxing glove on a spring*

Why can't I get out of these absurd real-life recreations of movie scenes?

[The Count]

Good... Maybe that'll keep him quiet for a while, now back to the performance.

Lewis Kazagger: You heard it here first... The Honeydew camp has resorted to bribing rats for their political endorsement with promises of free cheese that are only flim-flammery on the filching scientist's part, as the rats have yet to receive their desired dairy products.

[MrsPepper]

What a close race!

[Luke]

Lewis Kazagger: You heard it here first... The Honeydew camp has resorted to bribing rats for their political endorsement with promises of free cheese that are only flim-flammery on the filching scientist's part, as the rats have yet to receive their desired dairy products.

*Ahem* Says someone who has been offering clubhouses, cakes, luggage sets, free makeovers, concerts, the Pussycat dolls and free soda.

Official Honeydew Camp Spokesrat We at the Honeydew camp do not need to bribe rats, there are many rats working for the team. We are a real imaginary political party, we know how things are done in government as far as rats are concerned. Infact Dr Bunz is the only candidate officially endorsed by rats, sharks and moles.

[The Count]

The moles? That's a bald-faced lie, the moles have been long-standing supporters of the Piggy campaign... Especially thanks to Mabel, our mole cuisine staffer who's been helping us out after leaving her restaurant in Vegas well taken care of while she helps us here with the campaign.

[The Count]

And to clarify the matter once and for all... What we have been offering the public are just that, offers of what we can provide them. We haven't said that this is all subject to their voting for us, we know that a person can vote for whosoever they choose. But according to the statement Rizzo just made a while ago, one could imply that it's your camp that's been bribing the voters from the beginning with promises of cheese and meaningless workout videos that haven't materialized. And listening to that proposal, you'd have the votors live in blank soulless white compartments with no food, no water or anything to drink, no entertainment, and no amusement of any sorts. Face facts, we're running a campaign here and it's been nothing but hostilities from your camp from the start. So let the voters decide the matter and we'll do what we can to try to earn their votes.

[Luke]

Dr Bunz Deep Throat Representative : Rizzo got a cheese donation for making an announcement, he's already a signed up Dr Bunz voter, and he does the Dr Bunz workout video every night while listening to the Mice Girls on MPFree. Dr Bunz sees this campaign as a bit of fun, a bit of a good old fashioned political skirmish. Every time he originally made any kind of campaign announcement with a few tongue in cheek jibes here and there it's been trashed by Piggys campaign team so his band of campaign minions went on the defensive. Piggy herself has said very little. This campaign was supposed to be about MC members asking candidates questions about how they would handle the Muppety issues but only a few have. I think Dr Bunz is seriously thinking about changing careers to a celebrity chef!

I think the best idea for the next round would be for someone to host a debate between the final two and THEN open the polls for people to vote. I think Dwayne is probably the best person considering this election was his idea and the rules stated he'd be asking the questions.

[Ruahnna]

Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: Debate? Moi loves to debate! Moi will argue with anyone at the drop of a hat--especially if it is a cute one!
Kermit: When she's right, she's right! Does anyone have any questions for Miss Piggy?
Unidentified speaker with muffled voice and big hat over head: When are you two finally gonna get married?!
Kermit: Um, er, *gulp* um, that is, questions about the campaign, you know--the, um, presidential campaign....oh shheesh.
(Sounds of crickets chirping. Kermit happily eats the crickets and avoids the question. AGAIN.)
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: C'mon--are you a constituency or a statuary? Don't you have any questions for little ol' Moi?
Lady on the front row: Where did you get those darling shoes? Do they come in narrow sizes?
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: (clearly delighted) Ooh! Ooh! You know, I was so surprised at how well these go with EVERYTHING--especially campaigning! I got them at Saks, 40% off. Ooh ooh! And they had them in midnight blue, too!
Lady on the front row: What about narrow sizes?
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: Moi would have no idea whether anyone stocked anything in narrow sizes. Ask one of their very helpful saleswomen.
Ruahnna: Oh, well, um--thank you for the question. I think. Does anyone else have any questions for Miss Piggy? What about education? Doesn't anyone want to know where she stands on education?
Fozzie: (wearing Groucho Marx glasses and reading off a cue card) Yes. I. Would. Like. To. Hear. More. About. Miss. Piggy's. Stand. On. Education.
Floyd: (to Dr. Teeth) I don't care where she stands, as long as it isn't on my feet! Heh heh heh!
Ruahnna: Floyd--hush! Um, thank you kind-sir-whom-I-do-not-room-with-and-have-never-seen-before. Miss Piggy?
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: Moi has a very strong stand on education. I believe that everyone should be required to learn not to ask stupid questions. In fact, Moi is planning on outlawing stupid questions just as soon as she is elected!
Unnamed janitor on the fouth row back: Um, why would you want to do that?
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: I rest my case. Any other questions?
Floyd: Sure! Say--how much do you weigh, anyway? I've got a bet riding on--
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: Oh! Ha ha! Look at the time--and all these nice entertainers waiting to entertain you in so many, er, entertaining ways...oh, forget it. I'm out of here. (She exits through the curtains, but pokes her head back out almost immediately.) Vote for Moi! Kissy kissy! I love all of you--especially those of you I don't have to share stage time with! Kissy kissy!
(Ruahnna appears on stage.)
Ruahnna: Miss Piggy would like to gratefully acknowledge all the support of her campaign team and to assure the greater MC public that she has nothing but respect for her two esteemed colleages, even if one of them is--Piggy! For the last time, stop writing on my notes! Um, let's see, where was I....support...MC public--Oh! Oh, here I am. One last note. Miss Piggy and her campaign staff would like to point out that we are not actually offering the Pussycat Dolls--just their music. The rest is entirely up to them. We're just glad to be enjoying their, um, music.
Rizzo: Sure. We'll go with that.
Floyd: Better go quick. Mz. Presidential Porkrind will karate-chop you into next week she finds you here. Best move along, Rizzo. And take the shrimp.
Pepe: Hi am not a shrimp! Hi am a king prawn!
Floyd: Yeah? Well, Piggy will king you if she catches you here.
Rizzo: After the Hex girls.
Pepe: Si. They are hot womens, h'okay?
Floyd: Suit yourself. I don't care one way or the other. Just remember I tried to warn you. Now, later dudes--we're ankling.
Ruahnna: (struggling for control of the situation) Miss Piggy and her campaign do not endorse any of these sexist and purely--
Rizzo and Pepe: Get out of the way! Si si--ju are blocking the stage, h'okay.
Ru: (sighing) Um, thank you--and please vote for the candidate who's going to support your ideals best!

[The Count]

Scooter, whispering in Catherine's ear: Uh, we didn't get the Pussycat Dolls... We got Josie and the Pussycats instead, you know... That group of girl singers from the 70's? Oh never mind. Just get Piggy her speech, she's got that address to deliver on TV tomorrow night.
*Hands over the finished corrected speech to Ru and sits back down for the next act of the night.

[Ruahnna]

Catherine (whispering back): Oh--then I guess some of the guys will be disappointed.
Scooter: I don't know--Josie and the Pussycats are pretty hot, too!
Ru/Cat: Oh good. Now everyone's happy. Well, mostly everyone. Piggy's grumping that the television appearance will cut into her spa time. But I convinced her that the camera loves her.
Scooter: Yeah--almost as much as she loves...um, loves to give speeches about her candidacy.
Ru/Cat: (ruefully <how else? LOL!>) Nice save.
Scooter: Um, yeah. Gotta go! The guys are saving me a seat!

[The Count]

*From the audience's front row: Hey Scoot, over here!

Mmm, I wonder how those Christmas and New Year's shows in Vegas are going. Oh well, we'll find out in ru time.

[Erine81981]

Herry: *pushes a piano on stage* Here you go Ernie. It's time for a sing-along from you! Maybe this will help Grover get some more votes.

[Bill Bubble Guy]

Marty: Wow. 8 votes currently each apeice!

Bill: That certainly is close and intense.

Marty: Piggy's votes are the ones to watch though.

Bill: Right. At least if she has a tie with one of the others she'll still have a chance in another match.

Marty: And we'll be ready to see if she wins or loses. As close to the exit doors as possible with a cloud of bubbles to cover our getaway if the worse comes to worst.

(Bill and Marty wink and snigger. Friends have got to look out for each other's well being you know) ;) :D

[Luke]

Dr Bunz : After a brief stop at the Miss Piggy presidential campaign rally where i was hoping to see the Pussycat Dolls, who unfortunately couldn't appear due to previous commitments at the Playboy mansion, i have returned. Here at Muppet Labs we are commited to the important things in life - Kentucky Fried Chicken, Step Aerobics, Deal Or No Deal, and remakes of all Karate Kid movies We are also proud supporters of the American Idol Gives Back campaign, where we will be giving Simon Cowell back to England and taking away his American visa. That is, if England will actually take him back since they already took back Anne Robinson and the Spice Girls. My legal representative Beauregard would like me to apologise to Michael Jackson, Britney Spears and Martha Penguin, in no particular order. Martha - that restraining order was completely unneccasary, and Britney, i was only trying to demonstrate the new Muppet Labs Extra Quick Hair Restoring formula and regret that you now need to shave three times a day. I'm now off to a Jacuzzi Party with my esteemed Rat and Prawn friends, as well as Josie and the Pussycats but please continue to vote for your designated candidate especially if he happens to have a chart topping workout video DVD called "Tone Your Bunz".

Rizzo : Great speech (aside to Dr Bunz) Heehee save me a cheddar cocktail and tell the girls i'll be right along. On behalf of Dr Bunz we'd also like to announce how regretful we are about the unfortunate incident with Miss Piggy's dog Foo Foo and will restore it back to its natural color as soon as possible, or science finds a way to wash out neon pink hair dye. We'd also advise Grover not to apply the gift we sent of "Easy Wash Out Party Hair Doo Coloring" to his super furry blue fur for the same reason.

** Rizzo leaves the podium to applause and wolf whistles **

[Beauregard]

Beauregard: *steps up onto the stage...to the abrupt and sudden cessation of all wolf-whistling* What he said.

[redBoobergurl]

Cookie: Whoa! You see the polls? They neck and neck and neck....

[The Count]

Count: Yes... Eight beautiful wotes!
I count eight wotes going up.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8.

Ah-ha! Vhat fun!

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Oh, this is so close! I am so nervous, I think I am going to go hide in my closet until this is all over.

[dabauckham]

Biff: Hey! Which one of you are gonna look out for the little guy? I mean, I'm a construction worker - it's what I do! It don't pay too great. Who's gonna help me make it out there? It's a cruel, cruel world. Ain't it, Sully?

*Sully shrugs, keeps drilling*

[The Count]

We asure you your questions will be tended to kind sir. Just please take a seat, the candidates will be making their way to the stage and deliver their addresses soon.

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Oh, mister Biff sir! I have come out of my closet to tell you that I, Grover, will look out for you and yourself! Oh, and I will also get you dental.

[dabauckham]

Biff: Alright... well, yeah, my teeth have kinda been botherin' me lately. Thanks for thinking, of me kid. *to self* I always did like that Grover guy. But who are these others guys? I ain't seem them around the Street. Ah well...maybe I'm just getting old. *shouting* Hey Sully, am I getting old...?

*Sully just stares at his drill*

Biff: Oh yeah, right, you don't like me to bother you when you're working. Well, alright everyone, just remember what I told ya. It ain't easy for us little folks, workin' for peanuts. Be nice to see a change around here. Even though I love the Street... life, it ain't fair. Never has been. Who knows - maybe never will be. But...a guy can dream can't he? A guy's gotta have dreams. What are alla your dreams? I've heard a few already but I'd like to hear more of em.

[The Count]

Count: Oh hello Biff. These are some friends of Kermit's from that wariety show he used to host. Bunsen Honeydew and Miss Piggy... There's Scooter running Miss Piggy's campaign, and Bean Bunny with Beauregard and Bunsen. If you need any help, LMK and I'll be counting avay the seconds!

[Fozzie Bear]

We're sitting on a tie for all 3 candidates who might try PMing some of their online MC friends to come vote!

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Oh, my dream? Well, you see... my dream is to be the best cute, furry, blue monster I can be. If I go out and do something, even if I do not win, I hope that I can look myself in a mirror and say 'Wubba! Wubba! Wubba! Wubba! Woo! Woo! Woo! Wubba! Wubba! Wubba! And a doodly doo!' And then after I say that, I hope I can say 'I, Grover, have done my best at what I tried to do.' That is my dream, Mr. Biff. Oh, and dental insurance for all the construction workers.

[redBoobergurl]

Cookie: *cheering after Grover's speech* That good speech Grover. You bring tear to me little googly eye.

[Luke]

Bunsen: Well Mr Biff, thank you for your question. Please, allow me to show my tender fuzzy side - As i too have a dream, and its not the one about the Pussycat dolls. No, i have a dream where the Muppets are restored to the great heights they once sailed. I have a dream where there is a Muppet store in every city. A channel showing the Muppets in every country of this world. A Muppet blockbuster movie released every Summer - especially sci fi ones. I dream about Muppet merchandise aplenty - where every child can go to sleep cuddling a plush Dr Bunz (or if they aren't so fortunate, another character), and where every man and woman has a pair of Muppet branded underwear in their closet, be they thongs or boxers, and be able to wear those pants with pride, even over their regular clothes. Where the main toy for Christmas is a tickle me Bunsen, and where my friend Grover can be cute and furry on Sesame Street without threat of cancellation, or where the adorable Miss Piggy is not forced to appear in third rate Pizza Hut commercials playing second fiddle to Jessica Simpson, but is the star of a broadway show. It is thoughts like these that bring a tear to my eye, a smile to my face, and has absolutely nothing to do with residuals and licensing money!

So everybody wear your Muppet pants with pride, vote for Dr Bunz !

(whatsmore we can offer free dental AND health insurance for all construction workers and if you work for peanuts we'll let you stroke our pet Elephant!)

[Katzi428]

Prairie:Good speech Grover!
Rosita:Hooray Grover!!

[dabauckham]

(whatsmore we can offer free dental AND health insurance for all construction workers and if you work for peanuts we'll let you stroke our pet Elephant!)

Sully: I think-
Biff: *shouting* Hey... hey Sully! Get a load of this guy! I gotta feeling Bunz knows how we're feelin'. What do you think? *Sully starts to speak* He's got big dreams, if you know what I mean. Eh? Eh? *Sully starts to speak* Don't you wanna go pat the elephant, Sully? Don't ya?

*Sully rolls eyes*

Biff: S'matter, Sully? Was it somethin' I said?

[Fozzie Bear]

Still at 8 votes each? We need some more votes. PM your friends who haven't voted and get them in here! :)

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Yes sir mister keeper of the peace, sir!

[Luke]

From one candidate to another, great speech Mr Grover sir. That was quite moving!

Rizzo : Now let's get these votes moving!
Pepe : Okays, but i'm not volunteering to move Piggy si?
Rizzo : We need some kinda publicity stunt
Pepe: .... and somebody crazy enough to do it for us! Oh, hola Gonzo.
Gonzo Guys, i think we're on the same page here. How bout The Great Gonzo jumps outa a flaming "Dr Bunz" cake with only the aid of a pair of speedos! The chicks will LOVE it!
Pepe: I don't think those are the Bunz we want to see hokay? And the chickies can't vote.
Rizzo : Yeah and its a family forum. They wouldn't even let us put the Pussycat Dolls on the MC Radio
Pepe : Okays, i have got it. If they do not vote for Dr Bunz, i will spank them. I will spank them like bad bad donkies hokay?
Gonzo: Physical violence? Can we do that?
Rizzo: It's either that, or we have Spamela Hamderson singing Celine Dione songs from The Titanic
Pepe: ... and there's a difference?

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Oh, thank you so very much to my friends who have come to vote for me. But, the race is still very close, so, do not you think those of you who have not voted should vote for cute, furry me? Just wondering.

[redBoobergurl]

Cookie: Yea Grover, you pulled ahead!

[The Count]

*Puts out pleas to the voting masses... Before you cast your vote, please think of giving it to Miss Piggy. She works hard in the arts of divaness... She stands behind Kermit when he needs someone to be there for him. She has garnered acclaim as an actress around the world.

Grover's innate cuteness has taken the lead, and Bunsen with his *ahem* um, smartness is in second place. But ask yourselves, who will take care of the important issues like maintaining a coteured culture in the highest offices of the land? And she is the only er, woman who stepped up to be considered as a candidate for this prestigious position. If she loses, then will you be silencing the women of the world? Just think of the message that sendds out to piglet starlets and females of every type of animal in this grand Muppet universe. So please... Vote for Piggy for president. Wont you? You're our last hope. Thank you.
*The Count and Scooter lean in to help the speaker back to Miss Piggy's campaign booth.

[cherrypotion27]

Dr. B, you got my vote. Any doc as sweet and nice as you deserves to be pres.

[cherrypotion27]

Oh, and to Miss Piggy and Grover: sorry about not voting for you guys. I do love you two, especially you, Miss Piggy (hey, as a little kid I practically had to do a sit-down protest to get my mom to buy me the Miss Piggy dress-up doll and the hand puppet, so if that doesn't prove I'm a Piggy fan, what does?) And you are my fav female Muppet, Miss Piggy. We even have some things in common, like our love of the color pink and super-feminine clothes.

[Luke]

Just think of the message that sendds out to piglet starlets and females of every type of animal in this grand Muppet universe.

Good luck to ALL the candidates and yeah the voting is getting very close!

On the Dr Bunsen campaign front i have recieved a fax from "Bunsen Industries" with a few more campaign ideas from the man of the moment, Dr Bunz himself. Firstly, compulsory line dancing for everyone. :eek: I'm sure that'll be popular around here. Next, we plan to make a sequel to Robin The Frog's "Halfway Down The Stairs" titled "Halfway Back Up The Stairs" and after tense negotations carried out by the good Doc himself we can confirm that the Pussycat Dolls will provide backing vocals.

[Vote Dr Bunsen Honeydew. **[/COLOR]

[Erine81981]

Herry: Hey Grover! I just got my whole family to vote for you. Thank you Mom, Dad, Granny, Grandpa and my little sister Flossie.

Herry's Mom: I am here to suport you Grover.

Herry's Dad: So am i. I do love that shiny fur of yours. We might have to get together. So you can me help me get my fur that shiny.

Herry's Granny: I just adore your cute ways Mr. Monster. That is why i voted for Grover.

Herry: *holds up little sister* (whispers) Ok you can say it Flossie.

Flossie: I voted to even tho i'm not old enough to. *laughs*

Herry: Thank you family.

Herry's Family: Welcome.

[dabauckham]

Next, we plan to make a sequel to Robin The Frog's "Halfway Down The Stairs" titled "Halfway Back Up The Stairs" and after tense negotations carried out by the good Doc himself we can confirm that the Pussycat Dolls will provide backing vocals.



Biff: Hey, Doc. We get to watch them dolls while we eat our peanuts? Maybe Bunz is the one to go with! He's not half-bad, that Bunz.

Sully: :rolleyes: *thinks* I'm surrounded by morons. I miss Bill...

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Oh, well, thank you very much Herry, and Herry's family. You are too kind.

[The Count]

*Tapping on Sully's shoulder...
Count: Uh, if you could please convince Biff to wote for Piggy, ve'd thank you greatly. It's wery tough being a voman in a man's presidential campaign... The others have far enough wotes already, ve need your generous wotes to stand a chance of maybe moving on to the next round. There vill be plenty of vork forconstruction men such as yourselves as the Vhite House vill need to be changed to the Pink House and the Statue of Liberty vill need renowations to make it the Statue of Libertmoi or Flipperty or Kermity, she hasn't settled on a name yet. Not only vill your dental and health plans be covered, but ve shall also compensate you for vhatever mishap should happen at the vorksite thanks to the new Mupptual Insurance Company.
But none of these promises matter... Vhat matters is that you decide Miss Piggy has stated her issues clearly and concisely and has done vhat she should to earn your wote. So please, wote for Miss Piggy.
Thank you.

[Erine81981]

Herry: No no no Biff and Sully. Vote for Grover. He knows what he's doing.

[The Count]

Count: Of course he knows vhat he's doing... He has the lead vith 12 wotes. But if Piggy doesn't get some more wotes, then I'm afraid that the vomen of the Muppet universe vill have lost a rallying figure in this race they can be proud to look up to.

[dabauckham]

*Biff, never at a loss for words, starts yammering, while Sully keeps his thoughts to himself.*

Biff: Well, all o' ya've got somethin' to say. I've got this to say - why can't you work together as our leaders? That seems like the kinda thing this guy I heard of...oh, what's his name...Tim? No, that ain't it... Slim? No, that ain't right either. HEY SULLY!!! Who's that guy we saw on the TV before talking about those Muppet guys...

Sully: *writes, holds up a sign for Biff, sighing*

Biff: ...Jim, that's his name! Yeah, this guy Jim, he said we all gotta work together. So why does one guy or gal gotta be the top tomato? If you know what I mean... Jeez, my head is spinnin' wit' all o' this.

[The Count]

Count: Vell... Ve vill be vorking together. But just like there's Kermit who leads the troop at the theater, or the foreman who gives you your instructions at the vorksite, ve need someone to make the decisions that'll affect our Muppety nation and then the rest of us vork together to make those decisions come about, thus hopefully bettering our world.
But to decide who vill be that leader, ve have vhat's deemed to be a fair system giving everyone who vants to be that leader the opportunity to be so, decided upon by whoever gets the most wotes cast by the everyday people like you and Sully and me who choose to wote for that candidate.

Hope I vas able to answer your question Biff. And please wote for Miss Piggy.

[Ruahnna]

Ru: Piggy, honey, we're not tied for first anymore. I'm sorry--I know it's partly my fault because I've been so busy this week. I didn't PM anyone and ask for votes--I'm letting the voters choose. Maybe you could make a campaign speech or something, if you still want to do this.
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: (distractedly) What? What were you saying, dear?
Ru: Honey--we're not doing so hot in the polls.
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: What polls? (looks at watch) Oh! There is so much to do!
Ru: (now very puzzled) The Presidential polls. We're not--well, we were tied, but now we're not. Dr. Honeydew and Grover are pulling ahead. But you're right--there's a lot to do. Do you want to go over some of these campaign notes now?
Miss Piggy: (again, distractedly) What? Oh, no--never mind the campaign notes. I have some very important plans to make.
Ru: (suspiciously) Piggy? Honey--is there something I should know? Or is there something that you ought to tell me?
Miss Piggy: What are you babbling about? Aren't you going to help me?
Ru: Well, honey, I'm trying but I can't get you to settle down and look at these notes so we can--
Miss Piggy: (growling) Forget the notes!
Ru: (stubbornly) But if you're going to make it to the next round, then you have to work on your campaign.
(Miss Piggy takes Ru gently by the shoulders and looks into her troubled eyes.)
Miss Piggy: Read Moi's lips: I do not have time for campaigning. I have a party to plan.
Ru: But Piggy, there's more to an election than having a party at the end.
Miss Piggy: I'm going to speak more slowly so you can follow me. Moi is not having a campaign party--Moi is having a birthday party.
Ru: (dryly) I think we already celebrated your birthday, dear. I don't think people will bring presents a second time.
Miss Piggy: (triumphantly) Oh--but they will! Because this time, the birthday party is for KERMIT!
Ru: For...for Kermit? Ohmigosh! Is that--is that next week?
Miss Piggy: Next Wednesday. And we have a lot to do!
Ru: Oh! Oh, gosh! I completely forgot! I was so wrapped up in the campaign and everything that I just...what can I do? Have you hired a caterer? Do we have a cake? Do we need balloons and streamers and stuff?
Miss Piggy: (calmly) Of course, yes, and absolutely. But I need someone to issue invitations. I was thinking of our room, but it's too small.
Ru: (muttering) You're telling me!
Miss Piggy: What?
Ru: Nothing! Nothing, Piggy. Where can we have it?
Miss Piggy: Ask Mon Ami Eduardo if we can use the second floor common room, s'il vous plait?
Ru: What time?
Miss Piggy: After supperish--Moi will get him out of the dorm with a moonlit walk. When we come back in....
Kermit: Hi guys! What's up? How goes the campaign?
(Ru and Piggy do a fair imitation of jumping out of their skins.)
Ru: Kermit! Oh! Hello! I mean, er, um...Oh. Hello, Kermit--how are you?
Miss Piggy: Hello, Mon Capitan! Vous are looking very pleased with yourself?
Kermit: What? Oh, well, I just finished a big class project. Glad to get that off my plate. Speaking of plate--everybody else eaten supper? Anyone want to come with me to Everybody Eats?
(Ru and Piggy exchanged glances and shrugs.)
Ru: Um, sure.
Miss Piggy: Vous are too gallant, Mon Amour. Let me put these papers away and we'll go with you.
Kermit: Great! I'm starved! So--how's the campaign going? Everything going okay?
(Again, the looks and shrugs.)
Ru: Um, sure.
Miss Piggy: (steering him away with a satin-gloved hand tucked under his arm) Of course. We were just making some big plans.
(Behind Kermit's head, Piggy gives Ru a wicked look, and Ru shakes her head.)
Kermit: Well, great! I can't wait to see how everything shapes up.
Miss Piggy: I'll bet you'll be surprised.....

[Luke]

Monsieur Bunsen Honeydew: What a super idea. Piggy organising an engagement party for Kermit on May 9th in those lovely warm comfy snug Muppet Dorms.

*** Penguin minion whispers to Dr Bunz ***

Dr Bunsen : Oh, Kermit thinks she's organising a birthday party? Well it will certainly be a surprise then won't it. Whats that Bean Bunny, a shock? Well if you insist, hehe

*** Dr Bunz gives Bean Bunny an electric shock, he's frazzled ***

Dr Bunsen : Here at Muppet Labs we deeply regret any hostilities during this election campaign, especially the incident when we nerf gunned the gofer. As a token of our esteem we would like to present our favorite Pork related Celebrity, Miss Piggy, with this gigantic cake which Beaker will jump out of and surprise the recipient. Show em Beaker!

*** A smoking, frazzled, overcooked Beaker appears out of the cake wearing a "Vote Dr Bunsen Honeydew - Muppet Presidential Elections" campaign t-shirt. ***

Dr Bunsen : Oh dear Beakie, you were supposed to get in the cake AFTER the Swedish Chef baked it! Oh well, i suppose i should say Well Done, as you certainly are! That's all everybody, keep up the good work and keep voting for Bunz !!!

*** Announcer appears - "A stunt rabbit was used in the making of this post, not the real Bean Bunny, who was too badly shocked during the rehearsal. This post brought to you by Doctor Bunz Space Travel - We'll fly you to the moon, but we can't guarantee to bring you back! Vote Doctor Bunsen Honeydew - The only candidate who will greenlight Fraggle Rock - The Musical (With Doozers in Tutus) ***

[redBoobergurl]

Cookie: Ooh, look Grover, you tied now with Green Guy

[The Count]

*Count, still distraught over the fact that these guys are getting all the votes. Vhat can ve do to get more wotes for Piggy...

[anytimepally]

The Amazing Mumford: Ladies and Gentlemen.. it is I, the Amazing.. hmm.. Where is everyone? The night before the polls close and no one is campaigning? ... Ladies and Gentlemen, feast your eyes as, I the Amazing Mumford, wave my magic wand and say the magic word and bring the candidates and their managers back to this thread for one final push before the polls close.. after which I shall cast my own vote..

(waves magic wand)

A-la Peanut Butter Sandwiches!

*smoke everywhere*

[The Count]

Well... Unless you can conjure up three more votes for Piggy... Looks like we'll be out tomorrow. Strangely, I'm at peace with that. Guess it comes from the new power of being named moderator here. Oh well, night all.

[Luke]

Strangely, I'm at peace with that. Guess it comes from the new power of being named moderator here.

* mails check to Phil *

Have to admit Count - it wouldn't be as much fun campaigning without Scooter and Piggy. I was going to do a Kermit / Piggy / Dr Bunz love triangle angle and everything. Rest assured the good doctor will continue to campaign tirelessly to secure victory for his legions of loyal voters.

:) :mad: :confused:

[Luke]

** Does Cha Cha Cha dance with feather dusters **

I won, i won the round ! How the heck did THAT happen ? LOL

Dr Bunz Spokespenguin In Tux: On behalf of Dr Bunz and his newly sponsored team of cheerleaders "The Bunsenettes", thanks to everyone who voted for us. We'd like to pay special tribute to Miss Piggy and her dedicated campaign team for being such great sparring partners - we take back the apple sauce jokes. Also thanks to the Queen of England who we hear is visiting Muppet Labs tonight to bestow the title "Sir Bunsen Honeydew - Pig Slayer and Lord of The Realm" upon the man himself. See you in the next round and Keep Voting For The Bunz !!!!

[Fozzie Bear]

The 4th Primary has begun:
http://forum.muppetcentral.com/showthread.php?t=32328