Scooter's Story

[Super Scooter]

A while ago, I told a few people on here about a story idea. They seemed pretty enthusiastic about it, so I thought I'd give it a try here.

Please, bare with me, though. I'm not entirely certain how the whole thing should play out yet.

THE MUPPETS PRESENT: SCOOTER'S STORY

SCENE 1

INT. SCOOTER'S ROOM

SCOOTER sits on his bed, strumming his guitar, badly (clip from The Muppet Show).

SCOOTER:

(sung)

The very day I purchased it,
I christened my guitar
As my monophonic symphony,
Six-stringed orchestra.
In my room I practice late,
They leave me alone.
My mother said: "You're nothing yet
To make the folks write home."

Gradually, FLOYD, JANICE, ANIMAL, and ZOOT make their way into the room, all of them see-through.

SCOOTER: (cont'd)

And so I dream a bass will join me
And fill the bottom in.
And maybe now some lead guitar
So it would not sound so thin.
I need some drums to set the beat
And help me keep in time.
And way back in the distance,
A horn would sound so fine.

And we'd all play together
Like fine musicians should.
And it would sound like music,
And the music would sound good.
But in real life, I'm stuck with
That same old formula.
Me and my monophonic symphony,
Six-stringed...

(a brief riff, the band disappears)

... orchestra.

I'm taking guitar lessons,
Though my teacher just took leave.
It was something about a break down,
Or needing a reprieve.
I know I'll find my future,
So I will persevere
And hold onto my dreams of making
Music to their ear.

The band returns, this time, though, they are all in concert, in bright and flashy outfits. SCOOTER is with them.

SCOOTER: (cont'd)

And so I dream a bass will join me
And fill the bottom in.
And maybe now some lead guitar
So it would not sound so thin.
I need some drums to set the beat
And help me keep in time.
And way back in the distance,
Some horns would sound so fine.

And we'd all play together
Like fine musicians should.
And it would sound like music,
And the music would sound good.
But in real life, I'm stuck with
That same old formula.
Me and my monophonic symphony,
Six-stringed...

(a brief riff, the band and all of the surroundings disappear)

... orchestra.

(spoken) Boy, someday I'm gonna be a star.

We pull out to reveal that we were watching this on a TV screen. The show continues on the screen, but our attention is now on...

INT. MUPPET THEATER

As we pull away from the television, we pan across to where SCOOTER is sound asleep on the desk backstage.

KERMIT enters. He is surprised to see SCOOTER still here.

KERMIT: Er, um, Scooter?

SCOOTER: (in his sleep) Raquel Welch! Raquel Welch! Five seconds to curtain, Miss Welch... What's that?... You want to stay in your dressing room... Why, sure I'll come in.

KERMIT: Scooter!

SCOOTER: Not now, chief.

KERMIT: Scooter!!!

SCOOTER: One day I'll be host of The Muppet Show...

KERMIT: Wake uuuuuup!!!

SCOOTER shoots up, wide awake.

SCOOTER: Vet's Hospital! Vet's Hospital on next! ... Oh, it's you, Kermit. I mean, boss. I mean... Hiya, chief!

KERMIT: (scrunching his face) So, you want to be the next host of The Muppet Show, huh?

SCOOTER: Oh, well, only because I admire you so very much, boss! Ha ha!

KERMIT: Right. So, uh, why are you here this early, anyway?

SCOOTER: Oh, well, I always get here this early. Gotta get an early start on coffee!

KERMIT: Ah, good thinking. It's never too early for coffee.

SCOOTER: But, actually, I was looking through some of these old Muppet Show tapes late last night. Must have fallen asleep.

KERMIT: Uh-huh. Scooter?

SCOOTER: Yeah, boss?

KERMIT: Did you get evicted again?

SCOOTER: What makes you think that?

KERMIT: Your toothbrush is in my coffee mug.

SCOOTER: Oh, right. Weeeeell... sorta. I was hopin' to talk to you about that. See, I could really use a raise.

KERMIT: You already make more than anyone else here, and you're the go-fer!

SCOOTER: Well, gee, I could always ask my Uncle.

KERMIT: How much are we talkin'?

SCOOTER: Minimum wage.

KERMIT: What? Are you crazy? That's outrageous!

SCOOTER: Well, okay, but my Uncle sure could---

KERMIT: How's fifteen?

SCOOTER: Great! Ha ha!

KERMIT: Wait a minute... Your Uncle doesn't own the theater anymore.

SCOOTER: ... Does this change our agreement?

KERMIT: *sigh* Scooter, you're welcome to stay here as long as you need to. Under one condition, that is...

SCOOTER: What's that?

KERMIT: Wash out the mug.

[Super Scooter]

Hey, why's it showing a thumbs down already on the forum? I'm not even done yet!

[redBoobergurl]

I was wondering the same thing! I thought it was quite good! Must be a mistake! Keep it coming!

[Barry Lee]

I really really like it alot, I hardly read fanfics, but I decided to read this one, very Scooter-ish-ness. Great job, can't wait to see whats coming up next!

My favorite part was the mug, cute bit there. ;)

Barry S. Lee

[Super Scooter]

Thank you!

More story, now...

Continuation from SCENE 1...

KERMIT exits.

SCOOTER: Hmm. I can stay here as long as I like?

SCENE 2

INT. MUPPET THEATER - BACKSTAGE

SCOOTER, in full ballet costume, is dancing about over a make-shift bed he has created for himself. He has gathered a crowd of onlooking Muppets. KERMIT enters. He goes to see what's going on.

KERMIT: Hey, fellas, what's going-- (upon seeing SCOOTER) Yikes! What in the world? Scooter! Scooter, what are you doing?

SCOOTER stops.

SCOOTER: Well, I gotta stay in shape.

It should be noted that through this scene, KERMIT's not all that angry, he just knows there is a lot to be done for their next show.

KERMIT: Why aren't you working?

SCOOTER: It's my day off. La la la!

KERMIT: Well, can't you do that at home?

SCOOTER: This is my home.

KERMIT: Your real home!!

SCOOTER: You said I could stay as long as I needed. (dancing) La la la!

KERMIT: But do you have to be so public about it???

FOZZIE: Oh, but he's good! If he were a cheese, we could put him in the dancing cheese number!

SCOOTER: La la la!

KERMIT: Yeesh! Stop that!

FOZZIE: Oh! Oh! If he were a chicken, we could put him in the dancing chicken number! Wocka Wocka!

KERMIT: Fozzie, what are you talking about?

FOZZIE: Maybe if he were a lion, we could put him in the dancing lion number!

KERMIT: We don't have a dancing lion number, Fozzie.

FOZZIE: We don't? You see, this is why I should be writing for this show. We need dancing lions!

A line of TAP-DANCING LIONS dance their way across the screen.

FOZZIE: Now, that is funny! Wah!

SCOOTER: La la la!

KERMIT: Scooter, please! We are trying to run a show here, could you do that someplace else???

SCOOTER: Fine, I know when I'm not wanted.

SCOOTER has rigged a shower curtain seperating his bed from the rest of the place. He pulls it across quickly. It, however, tumbles and falls to the ground.

SCOOTER: I'll just... dance in the bathroom, I guess.

SCOOTER stomps off.

GONZO enters in his signature SWOOOOSH!

GONZO: Holy toledo! Have I got a dilema! I'm supposed to go on now, and my dancing go-fer has gone missing! Where on earth am I going to find a dancing go-fer at this hour???

They all look toward where SCOOTER has gone.

GONZO: ... What are we looking at?

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 3

INT. MUPPET THEATER - STAGE

GONZO rushes onstage in front of the curtain.

GONZO: Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we present to you a death-defying feat! Get it? Death-defying feat!!!! HA HA HA HA! ... No, of course you wouldn't, you haven't seen it yet. But, when you do, you'll laugh! Trust me.

KERMIT: (offstage) Would you get on with the show???

GONZO: Touchy touchy, froggie-woggie! And now, ladies and gentlemen, you will be shocked and amazed! You will be stunned and confused! You will be bored with some parts, but others will be utterly mesmerizing!!! Prepare yourselves! Witness utter mayhem! Witness collossal chaos! Witness... what you are about to witness! Are you ready?

AUDIENCE: Get on with it!

GONZO: Okay, then! It is my proud privilege to present to you... Scooter the dancing go-fer with... a surprise ending!!! WHOOOOOOOO!

GONZO exits, the curtain goes up. There SCOOTER stands, unable to move. He tries to speak, but nothing comes out. He has come down with a sudden case of stage fright. Then... he faints.

OFFSTAGE...

KERMIT and GONZO look on. GONZO is dumfounded.

KERMIT: Well, the ending certainly was a surprise.

The AUDIENCE starts to boo.

GONZO: My masterpiece!

[Fragglemuppet]

It is truly wonderful and hilarious! You know, I think this would have made a good plot for an episode, with Scooter making a home at the theater.
Yeah, that's funny. I've noticed one or two threads in the past with the titles displayed differently in two different places. 'tis a mystery indeed!

[Super Scooter]

Well, when I started it, I accidentally hit the thumbs down. But, I edited it without an icon, and it never changed.

SCENE 4

INT. MUPPET THEATER - BACKSTAGE

FOZZIE has an unconcious SCOOTER held over his shoulder as he brings him back from onstage. KERMIT guides the way as several other Muppets look on.

KERMIT: Okay, easy. Easy, there. Watch out for the table, okay?

FOZZIE: Eee-yah! Ah! Ah! Boy, Scooter... Ergh! I never thought you weighed so much! YARGH!

KERMIT: Watch his head, okay, Fozzie?

FOZZIE: Right, Kermit. Hey, Kermit?

KERMIT: Yes, Fozzie?

FOZZIE: (still struggling) Where do you want him?

KERMIT: Just set him anywhere, Fozzie. But just...

THUD!

FOZZIE drops SCOOTER.

KERMIT: ... gently.

FOZZIE: Ooops! Sorry, Scooter.

SCOOTER stands, rubbing his head.

SCOOTER: Ow. Boy, did anyone get the number of that truck?

FOZZIE: No, but if you thought she was a truck, why would you even want her number? WAH- HA HA!

KERMIT: Fozzie, that was very insensitive.

FOZZIE: Sorry, Kermit.

RIZZO: Mind if I use it sometime?

SCOOTER: I don't get it.

GONZO enters.

GONZO: It's ruined! My masterpiece is ruined! Fine art wasted! My years- no!- months of hard work down the drain... wait a minute. Down the drain? I just thought of a new ending for my next performance! That's fantastic! Ha ha!

GONZO exits.

FOZZIE: And they all lived happily ever after!

SCOOTER: Yeah! Happily ever after! Ha ha!

Most of the Muppets start to go, leaving SCOOTER alone.

SCOOTER: All happily... ever... after...

SCOOTER looks down at the floor, sort of sadly.

SCOOTER: ... sorta... Gosh, I feel miserable.

PEPE pops up from behind SCOOTER.

PEPE: Hola!

SCOOTER jumps back frightened.

PEPE: Si, it's me, okay?

SCOOTER: Oh, sorry, Pepe. You startled me.

PEPE: Si, I have this effects on all the womens.

SCOOTER: All the womens?

PEPE: Si, si, it's true. Do not feel as if you are the only one who has felt the raw sex appeals that is mine, okay.

SCOOTER: Pepe, I'm not a woman.

PEPE: Si, you are a woman. This is why you wear the pink frillies and the dress thingy.

SCOOTER: Oh, this? I was practicing my ballet!

PEPE: Uh-huh. Si, si, I see. This is very common for the womens to do. Sometimes when you want to feel pretty-

SCOOTER: No, I'm really a guy.

PEPE: You are a dude?

SCOOTER: Yeah.

PEPE: And you dress up all... girly and things of this nature?

SCOOTER: ... Er... I guess.

PEPE: Uh-huh... To each their own, okay. Personallies, I keep this sort of thing invisible, but... I can see how you party.

SCOOTER: Party? No, I can't party. I'm kinda down, actually.

PEPE: What makes you so miserables and pathetic, okay? Your tights riding up?

SCOOTER: Er, no, not exactly.

PEPE: Come on, you talk to Pepe. Tell me everything. Everything and everything.

SCOOTER: Well, see---

PEPE: You know what is? You know what is? I would love to say and listen to you whine and carry on and be all pathetic, but I have to go now, okay. I's margarita night at Muigel Puablo Guillermo Sanchez Burger Imporium! Hehehe! I'll catch you laters.

PEPE leaves.

SCOOTER: Nice talking to you, Pepe.

SCOOTER looks out at the stage.

SCOOTER: ... Someday I'm gonna be a star.

SCOOTER sighs and exits.

[sarah_yzma]

"Your tights riding up?"

Oh MY GOSH! I was rolling on the floor! WONDERFUL piece, SS....although the last one had me laughing out loud (and getting weird looks from my roommate)....I ended up using my little Pepe voice I've developed and saying it to myself (don't really have a Scoot voice, but I tried)......

*dies laughing*

I love the thing as a whole, but the last scene...MAN! I don't think it should have been that funny to me!

[Super Scooter]

Thanks! Pepe's fun to write. I see why they use him so much. Love the irony that Pepe actually has his own set of tights (that's where Scooter's "La la la" came from).

Now that I have writer's block...

[sarah_yzma]

You could just write lots of random Pepe lines and I could mutter to myself under my breath (and laugh like nothing else, I'm sure) while avoiding my huge physics assignment.

[sarah_yzma]

One thing that seems out of character to me....Kermit saying 'that's insensitive, can I use it sometime' I can picture Rizzo saying it or Gonzo or Pepe in the right circumstance, but I just don't see Kermit saying it....

I might just be crazy....

[Super Scooter]

PEPE: So... Let us discuss matters of great impotence, okay.

KERMIT: Er, Pepe?

PEPE: Yes, Kermins?

KERMIT: I think you mean... importance.

PEPE: Is this not what I said? Anyway, let us discuss matters of great impotence, okay. ... Me. What makes me so much wonderfuls? Is it my red, hot sexiness? My red, hot sexiness? Or maybe my muchos red, hot sexiness? Nooo, none of the above, okay. It just so happens that what makes me so much wonderfuls is the ladies. The ladies, because without the ladies, there would only be mens, and that would not be cool, okay.

[Super Scooter]

One thing that seems out of character to me....Kermit saying 'that's insensitive, can I use it sometime' I can picture Rizzo saying it or Gonzo or Pepe in the right circumstance, but I just don't see Kermit saying it....

I might just be crazy....
Well, that's more of a Muppet Show Kermit line. He'd say stuff like that back then. In particular about Piggy.

"You can't just throw her out into the streets!"
"Not without a forklift, I can't!"

You're right though, and I was trying to come up with something better than that, but I couldn't get it.

[sarah_yzma]

I assumed it was a throwback to that style Kermit, but I was feeling so bad about Scooter it made me feel sad :(

I like it when Fozzie will get all excited about something (a joke in this case, that actually wasn't half bad) and then have to apologize....it's just so 'Fozzie-ish' in my head.

Only the mens *giggle*

[Super Scooter]

I changed it... sorta.

Man, I should be writing a Pepe story.

[sarah_yzma]

I like it....I like Rizzo having his jerky tendencies....it makes me feel human for some weird reason....how a rat makes me feel human, I'll never know....

Yes a Pepe story...and then you can get Bill to perform it for me (because I would be the best audience...or at least I like to think so!)

[Super Scooter]

I highly doubt if Bill likes being drooled on while performing. ;)

Pepe's Story will come next. I have to finish this one (wait for the cameos! HURRAY!)

I'm sleepy, so I'll leave with one more Pepe line...

PEPE: Hola! Si, it is me, Pepe. Tonight, I would like to try something new, some poetry, okay.

*ahem!*

Tonight, when you are fast asleep in your beds, okay,
And the world don't seem so bad, but it is bad, but it don't seem that way,
Dream of pigs and dream of mice,
Dream of tacos and of rice.
I won't be dreaming of any of that, okay.
Tomorrow is another day (blah, blah, blah)
I will dream of all the ladies,
You dream of Bill, it will be hot as hades.

Buenos Noches! :rolleyes:

[Aaron]

bravo SS great having you back around here

[heralde]

Hi, wow I haven't posted here since...well actually I've never posted here...

Not because I didn't want to, it just hadn't really occured to me. But I just wanted to say I like the Scooter story so far. As someone else said, it could have been a Muppet Show episode. I liked the Raquel Welch reference at the beginning. ;)

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 5

EXT. MUPPET THEATER - NIGHT

Establishing shot. Numerous Muppets entering the building.

INT. MUPPET THEATER - STAGE

SCOOTER is waiting in the wings, looking out at the action on stage

ANNOUNCER: (v.o.) And now it's time for veterinarians hospital, the continuing stoooooooooory of a quack who's gone to the dogs...

Onstage, we see the Vet's Hospital set, and ROWLF, PIGGY, and JANICE in their scrubs. BEAKER lies on the table.

ROWLF: Nurse Piggy, who's the next patient?

PIGGY: He's right in front of you, Dr. Bob.

ROWLF: Ah-ha! I see. Now, that boy is sick!

JANICE: How can you tell Dr. Bob?

ROWLF: Why else would he be in a hospital?

PIGGY: Oh, Dr. Bob! Is it serious?

ROWLF: I don't know. Nurse Janice, is it serious?

JANICE: Like, I don't know. Nurse Piggy, is it serious, fer sure?

PIGGY: I don't know. Dr. Bob, is it serious?

ROWLF: Are we going to do this all day?

PIGGY: Well, we have to fill the show with something.

ROWLF: Well, how come no one knows the status of the patient?

BEAKER: Meep meep mee mee meep!

JANICE: Like, does that answer your question?

ROWLF: Meep meep mee mee meep? Meep meep meep mee mee mee mee.

PIGGY: Dr. Bob! You understand him?

ROWLF: Of course I understand him! When I was in the army, you had to know morse code. Meep meep meep meep.

Backstage, SCOOTER walks away from looking out on the stage.

SCOOTER: Gosh, even Beaker gets to be a real star.

KERMIT enters.

KERMIT: Hey, Scooter, have you checked on Fozzie, yet? He's on for the next number.

SCOOTER: Aw, gee, I'm sorry, Kermit. I completely forgot.

KERMIT: Well, that's all right. The Electric Mayhem have been dying to play all night, anyway. Fozzie'll be on the show next week.

FOZZIE: (offstage) WHAT????

FOZZIE enters nearly as fast as GONZO would.

FOZZIE: (out of breath) Kermit... please don't... take me off... the show tonight. *phew!* My... My fans need me! They want me out there! You gotta give 'em the ol' comedy act. Besides... if you don't put me on, they might forget my act all together!

KERMIT: Funny, I thought that might be a boost for your career. HA ha!

FOZZIE: Kermit, that was very insensitive.

KERMIT: *ahem!* Sorry, Fozzie.

FLOYD, DR. TEETH, ANIMAL, and ZOOT enter.

FLOYD: Hey, what's this I hear about you putting us on tonight?

KERMIT: Sorry, gang. Fozzie's going to go on after all.

FLOYD: Listen, Frog, either you put us or we gonna am-scray.

KERMIT: Am-scray?

FLOYD: Yeah, am-scray.

KERMIT: Well, I'd sure hate for you guys to have to am-scray.

FLOYD: Sorry, Frog, we no play, there's no way. We am-scray.

KERMIT: You really wanted to say that tonight, didn't you?

FLOYD: Sure did.

KERMIT: Well, okay, you guys can go on.

FOZZIE: But, Kermit, I--!

KERMIT: Fozzie, don't worry about it! Just go onstage. I'll introduce you.

FOZZIE: Oh, thank you, Kermit! Thank you!

FOZZIE rushes onstage, behind the curtain.

KERMIT: Yeesh, I hope this works.

KERMIT goes back onstage to introduce the next act.

[Super Scooter]

INT. MUPPET THEATER - STAGE

KERMIT stands in front of the curtain.

KERMIT: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight for out final act, it gives me great pleasure, and I slight case of chills down my spine, to introduce to you... Fozzie Bear and The Electric Mayhem! YAAAAAAY!

KERMIT rushes off. The curtain goes up on the ELECTRIC MAYHEM, playing loud rock and roll. FOZZIE enters in front of them.

FOZZIE: Hiya, hiya, hiya! Fozzie Bear here to tell you a bunch of really great jokes you've never heard!

STATLER: (from the balcony) Yeah, and if we're lucky...

WALDORF: The music's loud enough we'll never have to hear them!

BOTH: Do ho ho ho ho!

FOZZIE: Oh, don't be silly! These guys are just... (to the band) Hey, would you fellas mind playing a little quieter???

FLOYD: What's that, man? Can't hear you over the music.

FOZZIE: Would you mind playing a little quieter?!?!?!

FLOYD: Naw, Miss Piggy ain't no dieter! She's still the princess of pork, and the Lord of lard!

FOZZIE: Not dieter, quieter!!!

DR. TEETH: Hey, knock it off, Bear! You're breakin' the mood!

FOZZIE: I don't want any food, I just want to do my bit!!!

DR. TEETH: Hey, watch the language! This is a family program!

FOZZIE: I said bit!!! ARGH!

FOZZIE walks off, frustrated.

WALDORF: Hurray, that was great!

STATLER: Now that you mention it, you do look like you've put on weight!

WALDORF: Oh, no! Not this dumb gag!

[sarah_yzma]

Very nice. These two scenes seem to move a little slower, but my imagination isn't running full swing today, so that's probably it!

The character portrayals are nice today...I don't have a complaint!

[Super Scooter]

I'm trying to figure out an appropriate amount of time before sending Scooter off on his quest.

[Super Scooter]

INT. MUPPET THEATER - BACKSTAGE

FOZZIE walks back from onstage. SCOOTER approaches him.

SCOOTER: Hey, Fozzie?

FOZZIE: (depressed) Yes, Scooter?

SCOOTER: Boy, that must have been fun, huh? I wish I could do that!

FOZZIE: Do what?

SCOOTER: You were lead for the Electic Mayhem!

FOZZIE: I was? I mean, of course! It was fantastic! Or... sorta.

SCOOTER: That was one of the funniest bits I've ever seen you do! Ha ha ha ha!

FOZZIE: You really think so?

SCOOTER: Well, no. But it was still pretty good! Boy, I'd love to do that sometime.

The ELECTRIC MAYHEM members enter from onstage.

DR. TEETH: Boy, man, that was a superb performance of astronomical proportions!

FLOYD: Freak City, man!

JANICE: Like, fer sure, rully!

FLOYD: I hope we get some audiences like that when we head out on the road, next week.

DR. TEETH: Mmm-hmm.

The ELECTRIC MAYHEM exit.

FOZZIE: Well, gee, Scooter, did you hear that?

SCOOTER: Hear what?

FOZZIE: That's your big chance, Scooter!

SCOOTER: What big chance?

FOZZIE: The Electric Mayhem are going to Freak City to perform! You should ask to go with them.

SCOOTER: I should?

FOZZIE: Yes! Think of it! Your name in big, bright lights!

SCOOTER: Wow!

FOZZIE leaves SCOOTER alone to day dream.

SCOOTER: Scooter... In big, bright lights... I'm going to Freak City!!!

[theprawncracker]

Oh my gosh!!! Super Scoot! This is AWESOME!! SO funny! I loved the Pepe/Scooter banter earlier! And Fozzie is PERFECT!! I love it all so much!! Keep it up! :excited:

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 6

INT. MUPPET THEATER - BACKSTAGE

CLOSE ON a banner that says "Good-Bye Scooter!" We pull out to reveal a whole group of Muppets (the ELECTRIC MAYHEM and KERMIT are not there yet) gathered around SCOOTER.

FOZZIE: We're gonna miss you, Scooter.

GONZO: See ya, pal.

LINK: Whose scooter is leaving? Can I ride it before it goes away?

KERMIT enters.

KERMIT: "Good-bye Scooter?" Say, what's goin' on here?

FOZZIE: Oh, Kermit! You're just in time! We're having a going away part for Scooter!

KERMIT: Going away party? Scooter, since when are you going away? Why am I just hearing about this?

SCOOTER: Oh, I only just decided about five minutes ago.

KERMIT: Right. Where are you going?

SCOOTER: I dunno yet, I guess. I think I'm going with the Electric Mayhem and play with their band!

KERMIT: Er, do they know about this yet?

SCOOTER: I don't know. I haven't asked them.

KERMIT: Er, right. Well, good luck with that.

JOHNNY and SAL approach SCOOTER.

SAL: Okay! All right! Everybody, oughta da way! Johnny Fiama is comin' through!

JOHNNY: All right, Scooty, me and Sal here don't like to get all emotional or nothin'...

SAL: 'cause that kinda thing is for sissys!

JOHNNY: What he said. But, we did a little thing for you anyway, because...

SAL: (breaking down in tears) We're gonna miss you!!!

SCOOTER: Oh, well, gee, thanks!

JOHNNY: Compose yourself, Sal!

SAL: Right, Johnny. *sniff sniff*

JOHNNY: As a little token to show our appreciation for all you've done around here...

SAL: *sniff sniff* Do you smell that?

JOHNNY: ... we wanted to make you up a batch o' Ma's famous cannollis.

SAL: Is something burning? I think I smell something burning.

JOHNNY: You know, you're a good kid. Frankie likes kids like you, I like kids like you, ya dig?

SAL: Er, Johnny? Johnny?

JOHNNY: In a minute, Sal!

SAL: Okay, Johnny. But, uh-

JOHNNY: In a minute, Sal! Can't you see I'm having a conversation here?

SAL: Oh, right. Never interrupt Johnny Fiama while he's having a conversation!

JOHNNY: Thank you, Sal. Now, anyway, Scoots, I just wanted to tell you, you're all right in my book.

SAL: Uh-oh!

SAL runs off.

JOHNNY: (to SCOOTER) And, listen, if you ever need anything- anything at all- you let me know.

SAL returns with a fire extinguisher in his hands.

SAL: Don't worry, Johnny! I'll put it out! You continue your conversation!

SAL re-exits.

JOHNNY: (to SCOOTER; ignoring SAL) As I was saying, you need anything, you let me know. You do for me, I do for you, and vice versa.

SCOOTER: Well, golly, thanks!

JOHNNY: No problem, kid. No problem. And, uh, don't tell anyone about none o' this, okay? I got a reputation to protect.

SCOOTER: Oh, sure thing!

SAL returns with a tray of burnt cannollis.

SAL: Well, there you go, Johnny! Nice and hot from the oven!

JOHNNY: Sal! What happened here???

SAL: Well, I tried tellin' ya, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Ma's cannollis! Ma's cannollis! Ruined! How could such wonderful food be reduced to such ash??? (breaking down in tears) Why, why, why, why, why???

SAL: Remember, Johnny, that kinda thing is for sissys.

JOHNNY: Ma's cannollis!!!

SAL: By the way, Johnny, since when do you bake cannollis after the stuffing's already in 'em?

JOHNNY: (still crying) Back to the kitchen, Sal! We'll revive the poor little things!

SAL: Whatever you say, Johnny.

JOHNNY: (shaking his head) Ma's cannollis! Ma's cannollis...

The two exit.

[sarah_yzma]

Another nice one, SS....Link's line had me in stitches!

[theprawncracker]

HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!! Johnny and Sal were AWESOME!! Possibly the best J&S scene I've seen here in a fan-fic! AWESOME Scoot! Can't wait for more! :excited:

[sarah_yzma]

I tell ya, we gotta get him hired by Disney to write!

[theprawncracker]

I tell ya, we gotta get him hired by Disney to write!
GAH! SHA!! There are SO many great writers on here that Disney could sell MILLIONS with! If only they'd look to the fans!! Alas, they're too shallow and pigeonholed to look past their own staff.:smirk: Maybe someday...

[Super Scooter]

I tell ya, we gotta get him hired by Disney to write!
Actually, a girl I work with who really has no affiliation to this site at all (or has even seen my writing) said I would be perfect to write for children's television. That'd be awesome!

Thank you so much for all the encouragement, gang!

[sarah_yzma]

Wait...she said that without seeing your writing? Boy if she saw it, would she EVER be convinced!

[Super Scooter]

:D 10-Q!

She said it because she knows me too well. She knows too much about my Muppet obsession, and my... as she puts it, "weird sense of humor".

[sarah_yzma]

Weird?!

Ok I was going to say something to doubt that...but I realize around here....we're pretty weird to the general public's eye.

But we have more fun!

[Super Scooter]

Yes! Further proof to back up my case that Muppet fans are just plain better than everyone else. (I say that jokingly, and seriously. I don't think Osama would be so mean if he had watched Fraggle Rock as a kid)

[theprawncracker]

Weird?!

Ok I was going to say something to doubt that...but I realize around here....we're pretty weird to the general public's eye.

But we have more fun!
I think I've just discovered MC's new motto..."We're weird, but we have more fun."

[sarah_yzma]

awesome! We need a crazy picture of Gonzo or something to go with it!

[Super Scooter]

You know you're weird when you don't mind interrupting your own story thread with random muffins.

[sarah_yzma]

haha...it probably helps avoid writers block.

Or I might just be making that up....

[Super Scooter]

Actually, the random Pepe stuff was helping me think of new things to do with the story.

[sarah_yzma]

Whenever you get writers block, you can e-mail me ANY Pepe stuff you want!

[Super Scooter]

I will do that. :rolleyes: :)

(more story tomorrow. tear jerker comin' up!)

[theprawncracker]

You know I think I've had this conversation with Lisa(TogetherAgain) about muffining your fan-fic when you have writer's block...I don't remember how it turned out, but I know at least one of us got mauled with penguins. :zany:

[ryhoyarbie]

Nice story chief.

The bit with Johnny and Sal was five out of five stars in my book of "How many stars to give fan fics"!

I also liked Pepe and his bit.

[sarah_yzma]

You know I think I've had this conversation with Lisa(TogetherAgain) about muffining your fan-fic when you have writer's block...I don't remember how it turned out, but I know at least one of us got mauled with penguins. :zany:
Isn't that how all topics end?

[theprawncracker]

Isn't that how all topics end?
Here? Yes. Now if only we could get congress to end topics like that, THEN we'd live in a perfect world.;) :sing:

[sarah_yzma]

I wouldn't mind hurling a few penguins at some of them.....

[Super Scooter]

We now present... The Pollitical Penguin runs for President...

Presidential hopeful, P. E. N. Guin: Quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack. ... Quack quack.

*Pollitical Penguin leaves podium*

:zany:

[Super Scooter]

The ELECTRIC MAYHEM enters and joins the party.

FLOYD: Hey, man, what's goin' down? Some kind of party we wasn't invited to?

JANICE: Well, boy, it rully seems like it, fer sure.

FLOYD: Well, all right then. Wouldn't be a party if we couldn't crash it, after all.

ANIMAL: Party! Party! Caffeine! Crash!

FOZZIE gets up on top of a box so he can see over (most of) the other Muppets. He has a glass of champagne in hand, as well as a fork.

FOZZIE: Excuse me? Everybody?

FOZZIE begins clinking the fork against the glass to get their attention.

FOZZIE: Could I have everyone's attention, please?

He's not getting it, so he hits the fork against the glass harder and harder until the glass shatters.

FOZZIE: Ooops.

This gets everyones attention.

FOZZIE: Oh, uh, hiya, hiya, hiya! It's me, the old furry, fuzzy, funny man! Wah ha ha! I would just like to say that I think Scooter has been a wonderful contribution to the Muppets, and I think I speak for everyone here when I say that we will miss you. And I...

FOZZIE buries his face in his hat to keep from crying. KERMIT goes up to help him out.

KERMIT: It's okay, Fozzie.

FOZZIE: It's just so sad, Kermit.

KERMIT: I know, Fozzie.

FOZZIE: I put alot of work into this speech.

KERMIT: Er, I know, Fozzie. Go sit down, Fozzie.

FOZZIE: You'll finish it?

KERMIT: Yes, Fozzie.

FOZZIE: You'll include the joke about the pirahna and the hubble telescope?

KERMIT: Er, just sit down, Fozzie.

FOZZIE: Thank you, Kermit.

FOZZIE sits down on the box. KERMIT looks down at him confused.

FOZZIE: I'm ready when you are, Kermit.

KERMIT shrugs his shoulders.

KERMIT: Scooter, I suppose everything I say to you now comes from the heart. Mine and Fozzie's and everyone else here. You're a part of our family, Scooter. We know we'll see you again, but... until then, we'll all miss you. I know you'll carry a piece of us wherever you go, and we'll carry a piece of you until you return.

CRAZY HARRY: I could arrange that! Hahahahahaha!

ANIMAL: Big boom! Big boom! Blow up! Ha ha!

KERMIT: Would someone calm those two down???

FLOYD: Animal, take this mild sedetive!

ROWLF: Crazy Harry, take this not-so-mild sedetive!

ROWLF conks HARRY over the head with a club.

KERMIT: Anyway, Scooter, we may be a bunch of crazies, but we're not without heart, and we're going to miss you. With that... I'd like to propose a toast...

They all raise their glasses, including FOZZIE with his broken glass.

KERMIT: (cont'd) ... to Scooter.

SCOOTER: Gosh! Gee, thanks everybody!

MISS PIGGY enters.

MISS PIGGY: *ahem!* What's going on, everyone?

SCOOTER: Oh, hi, Miss Piggy!

KERMIT: Piggy, where have you been?

PIGGY: Well, I don't know if anyone else noticed it, but... (yelling) The show is still on!!!

KERMIT: What??? The show is still on???

GONZO: (looking out at the audience) She's right, Kermit. We've got a full crowd, and they don't look too happy. Cool, that should be great for my act! So much more danger working for a riled audience.

KERMIT: Everyone to your places, now! Onstage, offstage, in the rafters! Everyone, go, go, go!!!

SCOOTER: But, what about...

Everyone runs off to their various assignments. The only one left is SCOOTER.

SCOOTER: ... Me?

SCOOTER goes up to his cake and looks down at it. Someone has drawn a silly little picture of him in the icing.

SCOOTER: Gosh, it sure is nice to know you have people who care about you. And, I am going to miss this place, and all of these people. But this is something I have to do... for me.

(looking around; sung)

Saying goodbye,
Going away.
Seems like goodbye's such
A hard thing to say.
Touching a hand,
Wondering why?
It's time for saying goodbye.

(picking up his luggage; walking to the door)

Saying goodbye,
Why is it sad?
Makes us remember
The good times we've had.
Much more to say,
Foolish to try,
It's time for saying goodbye.

(exiting the building)

Don't want to leave,
But we both know
Sometimes it's better to go.

(stops outside the building, looks at it)

Somehow I know,
We'll meet again.
Not sure quite where,
And I don't know just when.
You're in my heart, so until then...
It's time for saying goodbye...

SCOOTER leaves, we watch him as he disappears in the distance.

KERMIT comes rushing out of the building.

KERMIT: Scooter! Scooter?!

He is there just in time to watch him almost out of sight.

KERMIT: Goodbye, Scooter.

(sung)

Somehow I know,
We'll meet again,
Not sure quite where
And I don't know just when.

FOZZIE enters to join him.

FOZZIE:

You're in my heart, so until then...

KERMIT:

Wanna smile...

FOZZIE:

Wanna cry...

KERMIT AND FOZZIE:

Saying goodbye....

We pull out to reveal all of the Muppets outside of the building.

ALL BUT KERMIT AND FOZZIE:

La la la la, la la la la, la la la la la la la!!!

As the song ends, SAL comes running out of the theater.

SAL: Okay, everyone! Johnny Fiama frantically comin' through!

JOHNNY runs out with a tray of cannollis.

JOHNNY: Hot cannolli! Hot cannolli! HOT!!!

The cannollis go flying everywhere as JOHNNY trips over the sidewalk.

SAL: You dropped them, Johnny.

JOHNNY: I noticed that, Sal... *sniff sniff*

SAL: All right! Back to the kitchen! We'll remake those cannollis good!

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 7

EXT. STREET

SCOOTER is walking along, humming to himself.

SCOOTER: La la la la la la la! Boy, this is great! Off on my own to find my future! ... Wait a minute... on my own?

The ELECTRIC MAYHEM bus pulls up next to him. FLOYD peeks his head out a window.

FLOYD: Hey, you forgettin' somethin'?

SCOOTER: ... Oh, you're right! I left my underwear bag!

FLOYD: Naw, man! You forgot... You need a whole bag for just you tighty-whiteys?

SCOOTER: Well, I wasn't sure how long I'd be away from a washing machine.

DR. TEETH: Too true, too true.

FLOYD: Naw, some cat told us you was plannin' on joinin' us on our concert tour! We don't need any other musicians, but we could sure use a road manager. We know you know how to do the job.

SCOOTER: Well, sure!

FLOYD: Hop aboard the rollin' hall of musical fame!

SCOOTER: Gee, thanks!

SCOOTER enters the bus.

FLOYD: Whatever you do, just don't---

We hear SCOOTER scream.

FLOYD: --- don't sit next to Animal.

ANIMAL: Ahh! Fresh meat!

JANICE: Like, we go through more road managers that way.

SCOOTER: (dizzily standing up inside the bus) Oh, that's all right. I'm fine!

SCOOTER passes out.

DR. TEETH: All right, sit down and buckle up! Next stop: Who knows!

[Super Scooter]

I... am soooooooooo stuck...

[theprawncracker]

Oh but it's sooooooooo good SS! Fozzie was AWESOME during the party! And Floyd was perfect!! Of course there's really no need to mention that you've got Johnny and Sal down to a T, cause you do!! It's really really awesome, can't wait for more. :D

[Super Scooter]

Thanks.

I know where the story is going, I just don't know how to get there from here.

I really wanted to give Fozzie a big part during that scene. It just seemed to me as though Kermit would might be more fitting, but it didn't make any sense since Kermit didn't even know the party was going on.

That, and the constant Fozzie/Scooter bits are sort of based on a quote from the book Of Muppets and Men.

[theprawncracker]

I know where the story is going, I just don't know how to get there from here.
Oh, I hate it when that happens...I'm actually going through that right now in my fan-fic "Don't Trip the Driver," I know where I want the story to go, I just don't know how to build the bridge to get it there. :smirk:

[Super Scooter]

I don't have any problem getting over the bridge. It's getting the Electric Mayhem bus across (I think the bridge was made for small beasts of burden)

[ryhoyarbie]

DR. TEETH: All right, sit down and buckle up! Next stop: Who knows!

That had me laughing. Dr. Teeth has no idea where he and the rest of the band are going. For all he knows, the band might end up in a town called "I Scratch Your Back, You Marry My Daughter" town.

Pssssssss..............Get Zoot to say some stuff man. It's like he's part of the band but can't say anything. Er wait, he's like that all the time. You know what I mean!

[Super Scooter]

Pssssssss..............Get Zoot to say some stuff man. It's like he's part of the band but can't say anything. Er wait, he's like that all the time. You know what I mean!

The story's not over yet. I got some big plans for Zoot.

Unfortunately, though, one of my ideas for this story was used in "The Muppets Vs. Las Vegas" (yes, I've been thinking of this THAT long). So, I'm trying to figure out just how to work through that without needing that part of the story.

[Super Scooter]

As I write this story, I can't help but notice another storyline that has emerged unintentionally...

I didn't realive it before, but the story of Scooter's leaving could be easily compared to the passing of Richard Hunt. That is, how did the Muppeteers and others who knew and worked with him react and cope? How would the Muppets deal with the (although not permenant) loss of an important member of their troupe? It's easy to overlook just how important Scooter was to The Muppet Show, but he was a vital part, in my opinion, of the show. In realizing this, and in reevaluating my approach to the story, it has revitalized, in a sense, my interest in the story, and has loosened my writer's block.

It reminds me of a nice little scene I wrote for the fan-fic "The Muppets Vs. Las Vegas" where Kermit takes a moment to discuss matters with Rowlf. In the scene, Rowlf has just returned from vacation, and is on the roof, gazing out at the stars. As Kermit leaves the scene, he says to Rowlf: "It's good to have you back." It's meant to not simply be Kermit welcoming back Rowlf, but the entire Muppet Community welcoming back a beloved character, an old friend, and, perhaps, a piece of Jim we feared we had lost.

I do not intend to lose sight of the fact that Scooter is the main character. However, I do intend to examine this new development further as the story progresses, as I can't help but feel intruiged by the idea.

... with that, I would like to conclude this segment of my own shameless self-promotion.

[Super Scooter]

I wasn't sure whether or not to actually include this scene, but, I figured the older Muppets are filled with sick humor and dismemberments and stuff like that.

If anyone feels it out of place, let me know, I have another idea that could easily replace it:

SCENE 8

INT. LEPER COLONY

The MUPPET LEPERS have gathered, and they're having a party! Mostly Whatnot and anything Muppets that have been completely put together, although a few could be made to accomodate the scene.

There is a sign hanging that reads: "Welcome to the party at the leper colony! Please check your hats, coats, and desired body parts at the door."

SCOOTER and THE ELECTRIC MAYHEM are there. SCOOTER takes a quick look around.

SCOOTER: Rock stars play at leper colonies?

FLOYD: Hey, man! Ya gotta play where the gigs is at!

DR. TEETH: We had our choice between lepers and leopards, and we decided to take our chances.

FLOYD: Unfortunately, the leopards didn't like our kind o' music too much.

A LEPER walks past.

LEPER#1: Unclean! Unclean!

ANIMAL: Unclean! Unclean! Take bath! Go home!

LEPER#1: Well, that is very insensitive!

ANIMAL: So-rry!

The LEPER continues on.

SCOOTER: Okay, so what's your playlist?

DR. TEETH: Playlist? Who said anything about a playlist?

FLOYD: Playlists are for the brds, the Styx, and squares, man!

JANICE: Like, you especially don't need a playlist when you're playing back up fer someone.

SCOOTER: Back up?

FLOYD: (to JANICE) Cool it, honey bunches!

SCOOTER: We're playing back up for someone?

FLOYD: Well, it's not as bad as it sounds.

DR. TEETH: Yeah, we could be unemployed.

ANIMAL: Un-em-ployed! RAH!

ZOOT nods in agreement. (editor's note: See? Big things for Zoot already!)

SCOOTER: Well, okay, then. I guess it's cool and all.

FLOYD: See that? The kid's learning quick!

SCOOTER: So, who are we playing for?

---

LATER, once the band has set up all their equipment and are in position to play (SCOOTER is off to the side watching), WEIRD AL enters!

WEIRD AL: Hey, hey, hey! Are you ready to rock and roll???

There is mized reactions from the LEPERS.

WEIRD AL: ... Well, okay! We're gonna start things off with a little number for all of you... hit it!

The band begins to play, starting with a brief drum solo from ANIMAL.

As the song, progresses, WEIRD AL and the various MUPPETS might act out certain parts of the song.

WEIRD AL:

(sung)

Finger food and an ice cold keg.
It won't cost you an arm and a leg.
Dance all night to a rotten band.

FLOYD: Hey, man! We resemble that remark!

DR. TEETH: Yeah, so don't he!

WEIRD AL:

Come on, people, let's give 'em a hand!
Saturday night it's the place to be!
Everybody cut footloose with me
At the party at the leper colony.

ALL:

Oh, there's a party at the leper colony!

WEIRD AL: Hey!

Met a little lady so pretty and young.
She was quite a talker till the cat got her tongue.
She oozed up beside me. I turned on my charm.
Well, pretty soon, she was completely disarmed.
I said, "Girl, now don't fall to pieces on me,"
But she cried her eyes out, literally
At the party at the leper colony.

ALL:

Oh, there's a party at the leper colony!

WEIRD AL: Hey! Hey!

Hey now, buddy, don't you give me no lip!
Sorry I was usin' your head for dip.
There's a guy in the hot tub, I don't know who.
Wait a minute, it looks like Stu!

STU: Stu!

WEIRD AL:

Well, hold the phone now, what do I see?
Another pretty mama got her eye on me
At the party a the leper colony.

ALL:

Oh, there's a party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
Hey!

As the song ends, WEIRD AL falls over.

ZOOT: ... Inappropriate, man.

ANIMAL: Distaste! Distaste!

SCOOTER: Boy, that was one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. And we're the Muppets!

FLOYD: Yeah, we better get outta here, quick. The board o' health and the board o' lepers rights will be here any minute, and, trust me, we don't wanna deal with either o' them!

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 9

INT. MUPPET THEATER

Early in the morning. KERMIT enters with coffee mug in hand.

KERMIT: *yawn!* Boy, what a night. I'm sure glad that's over with. Now maybe we can get back to how things were. We have a show tonight, so there's a lot to get done. Have to make up call sheets and ensure we'll have scenery and props... have to make sure no one on the call sheet gets eaten until they're scheduled to. Glad we have our go-fer, we might never get done. (calls out) Scooter! Oh, Scooter?! Oh, that's right. Scooter's not here anymore. Well, I guess I can do it myself. Now, where's that clipboard? I, uh... I know it's around here somewhere. Where'd I leave it? ... Oh, right. I gave it to Scooter. Well, Scooter would know where it is. (he starts to call out again) ... no, no. That's funny, I just did that. Well, that's ok. We can make due without the clipboard. Better go get my morning coffee.

KERMIT walks to the coffee pot to discover it's empty. He is shocked and confused.

KERMIT: No coffee? Well, we're never out of coffee! Confounded, blasted coffee machine! How do you make the coffee? (calls out) Scooter! Scooter?! ... *sigh* This is gonna be a rough month.

[Super Scooter]

Hmmm. I feel like it's still going down hill...

[The Count]

And that's a bad thing?

Personally loved Weird Al's appearance and song, big fan though I haven't bought the last two albums. I know, I should probably be made to hand in my fandom stub.
And Kermit continually calling for Scooter forgetting he's gone... It adds something to the story... A running gag, if you intended it to be that.

Keep postin', that's the only way a righteous story gets done.

[Super Scooter]

And Kermit continually calling for Scooter forgetting he's gone... It adds something to the story... A running gag, if you intended it to be that.
Well, it was more just Kermit coping, intended to be sorta funny, but thanks for the encouragement.

[The Count]

Any time...

[ryhoyarbie]

ZOOT nods in agreement. (editor's note: See? Big things for Zoot already!)

Oh wow! I'm really impressed!! Keep it coming!

[Super Scooter]

Oh wow! I'm really impressed!! Keep it coming!
Do I detect sarcasm with regards---->:cool: ?

:)

[ryhoyarbie]

Do I detect sarcasm with regards---->:cool: ?

:)

Me? Nah!!!!!!!!!!!!

[theprawncracker]

Oh it's great!!! I LOVED the leper colony! Too funny! "Lepers or leopards" loved it! Great job Scoot, keep it up!

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 10

INT. ELECTRIC MAYHEM BUS

SCOOTER, DR. TEETH, FLOYD, ZOOT, JANICE, ANIMAL.

SCOOTER: Well, gosh. Is that how all of your gigs turn out?

FLOYD: What you talkin' 'bout, man? That was a great gig!

SCOOTER: Really?

FLOYD: Sure it was!

DR. TEETH: We coulda been playin' the sewage refinery again.

FLOYD: Now, there was a crappy gig.

JANICE: Like, fer sure! Rully! I couldn't get the smell out of my hair fer months!

FLOYD: But, you know, it didn't turn out half bad.

SCOOTER: Really? Why's that?

FLOYD: We were finally able to revive our careers...

DR. TEETH: ... after being flushed down the toilet so long ago!

ANIMAL: All washed up...

FLOYD: Anyway, man, the next gig should go alot better.

SCOOTER: Oh? Where are we playing?

FLOYD: Nowhere but the big time, kid!

EXT. CIRCUS TENT

ESTABLISHING SHOT...

INT. CIRCUS TENT

SCOOTER and the ELECTRIC MAYHEM are gathered inside the tent, watching the different circus performers go by.

SCOOTER: This is the big time?

FLOYD: Uh, did I say the big time? I meant the big TOP. Yeah, that's what I meant.

ANIMAL: Freaks! Freaks!

FLOYD: No, Animal! You can't eat a circus freak! You'll spoil your appetite!

ANIMAL: Ac-Ro-Bat ladies?

FLOYD: Yeah, I guess you can play with one o' them acrobat ladies.

ANIMAL: Ah! Thank you! Flexible! Flexible!

ANIMAL goes chasing after some acrobat artists.

SCOOTER: Well, I guess it's better than nothing.

BEAN BUNNY approaches.

BEAN BUNNY: Hello, everyone! My name is Bean Bunny, and I'm the cute and lovable part of this picture made to attract the littlest children to the theater, where they can buy popcorn and candy and soda, all at ridiculous prices the unsuspecting parents will have to shell out!

FLOYD: And how do you feel about that?

BEAN BUNNY: Eh, it's a paycheck.

SCOOTER: Yeah, anyway, we know who you are, Bean.

ELECTRIC MAYHEM: (reluctant) Hi, Bean.

ZOOT: 'sup?

BEAN BUNNY: So, what are you guys doin'? Can I help ya? Huh, huh, huh? Can I? Please?

FLOYD: Yeah, sure, you can help. Pick up one of them ampliphiers and bring it over here.

BEAN BUNNY: Oh, sure! No problem! Anything to help out a friend.

BEAN tries to pick up the ampliphier.

BEAN: Oh, that's heavy.

He strains, and struggles with it. Of course, the ampliphier never budges.

BEAN: Maybe if I--- ooof! Eek! ... It'll... OOOF! AIYEE! urgh... MOVE DARN YOU! WAAAAAAH!

BEAN collapses, exhausted. He stands, panting.

BEAN: Maybe there's a microphone I could carry for you?

FLOYD: Never mind, man. Just sit there and look cute and attract the paying customers.

SCOOTER and BEAN start to walk away together.

SCOOTER: So, what are you doing here, Bean?

BEAN: Oh, I came looking for you! I wanna be a rock star, too.

SCOOTER: You want to be a rock star?

BEAN: Yeah! I've got all that old big rock star stuff. Kiss, Queen, the Stones, I got Zeppelin, some Guns 'N' Roses... I've even got some old Skynyrd! Oh, but don't tell anyone, ok?

SCOOTER: Why not?

BEAN: You know how Disney likes to market their kid's characters.

SCOOTER: Ah, I see.

BEAN: You know, we haven't hung out like this in a long time. Remember when we got ice cream at Disney Wo-

The two run into BOBO THE BEAR.

BOBO: Hey, what are you two fellas doin' wanderin' around here?

SCOOTER: Bobo?

BOBO: No, no, no! That's not my name here!

SCOOTER: But that is your name. Hi, Bobo!

BOBO: Shh! If they find out my name is Bobo, they're gonna think I'm a bear.

BEAN: But... you are a bear.

BOBO: But they can't think I'm a bear. If they think I'm a bear, then they'll lock me up take me on the road with them and junk!

SCOOTER: Then... what should we call you?

BOBO: Oh, you can just call me Bob-O.

SCOOTER: Bob-O?

BOBO: Yup, Bob-O. Bob-O the Security Guard.

SCOOTER: ... You're a security guard?

[theprawncracker]

Okay. Awesome. Completely AWESOME!! OH my gosh I was on the floor the whole time!! BEAN WAS THE BEEEEEEEEEEST!!! Then Bob-O!! HAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE it!!! This is way too funny Scoot! Keep it up!

[Super Scooter]

THE ELECTRIC MAYHEM have set up their instruments, and are ready to play for the crowd.

FLOYD: Ladies and gentlemen...

DR. TEETH: And anything that might not be covered by those descriptions!

FLOYD: Tonight, we are very proud and pleased to play for you a couple of our favorite little numbers. And now, if you would please join us in some hard rock... hit it!

The band quickly go into a hard rock number. The crowd, however, isn't in to this sort of music, and immediately turn on the band, booing them off.

SCOOTER: Oh, no!

BEAN: What? What Scooter?

SCOOTER: We oughta help them out!

They rush to help the band.

BOBO: Wait! I'll come, too!

FLOYD: Uh-oh! Sounds like the groove went out on these cats.

SCOOTER and BEAN get up onstage.

SCOOTER: Let me try something. I think I know what kind of music this crowd might be into.

FLOYD: And how in the name of Count Baise would you know that?

SCOOTER: They're circus folks. Besides, there's a number I did on The Muppet Show that might help out.

FLOYD: The mic is yours, man. But when the angry crowd comes and destroys my guitar... I'm comin' for you, man.

SCOOTER: Gotcha.

SCOOTER takes the microphone, and FLOYD steps aside. BOBO wanders onstage, huffing and puffing.

BOBO: Aw, man, I gotta get in shape. PHEW!

SCOOTER:

(sung)

I may go out tomorrow if I can borrow a coat to wear.
Oh, I'd step out in style with my sincere smile and my dancing bear!

BOBO looks around to see if there's another bear he might be talking about.

SCOOTER:

Outrageous alarming courageous charming
Oh who would think a boy and bear
Could be well accepted everywhere
It's just amazing how fair people can be

Seen at the nicest places where well fed faces all stop to stare
Making the grandest entrance is Simon Smith and his dancing bear
They'll love us...

BOBO:

Won't they?

SCOOTER:

They feed us...

BOBO:

Don't they?

SCOOTER:

Oh, who would think a boy and bear
Could be well accepted everywhere
It's just amazing how fair people can be

SCOOTER forces BOBO into a little dance, which he eventually gets into with great enthusiasm.

SCOOTER:

Who needs money...

BOBO:

When you're funny?!?!?!

SCOOTER:

The big attraction everywhere
Will be Simon Smith and his dancing bear
It's Simon Smith and the amazing dancing bear!

The crowd goes wild.

FLOYD: Hey, that was okay, man! You might make a good addition to the band after all.

SCOOTER: Really? Me? Part of the band? Wow! What would I do? What would I play?

FLOYD: Well, for one thing, whenever we need one wimpy, weird song like that. For another, you ever pick up a tamboruine?

SCOOTER: Wow! Part of the band...

FLOYD: Thing is, you'll have to find someone to pick up your road managing duties. And you'll have to split your pay with him.

SCOOTER: But I don't get paid.

FLOYD: And he gets half of that!

BEAN: Oh, excuse me? Excuse me? Look no farther, sir! I, Bean Bunny, would gladly take over his road managing dutarials!

FLOYD: Dut-what now?

BEAN: That is... if you don't mind, of course.

FLOYD: Well, shoot, I suppose we could use a little bunny around in case we get stranded somewhere with nothin' to eat. Come along, little fella!

BEAN: Oh, boy! Thanks alot, sir! I tell ya, I'll do great at this job! Ha ha!

SCOOTER: ... I'm part of the band!

[theprawncracker]

OH I LOVE IT!!!!!! The Mayhem is in perfect character! And Bean! I LOVE IT!! Then Bobo is Simon Smith's dancing bear! How lovely!! It's great Scoot! Just great!

[Super Scooter]

:sing: :flirt: :D

[ryhoyarbie]

Great story so far. Just one thing, even though it's a observation, you're giving Floyd a lot of lines compared to the others. Just observing.

Keep up the good work.

Now if people would only read my christmas story..............:cry:

[Super Scooter]

Floyd was usually given the most lines of the Electric Mayhem members. Probably for two reasons: 1) Because Jim was doing Kermit 2) Probably because he was pretty much Jerry's main character.

But, I will take note of that.

By the way, man... you've had 254 hits on your story so far! :)

[sarah_yzma]

Sorry I haven't been on to comment lately. I do love Weird Al in scene 8, but I absolutely adore Weird Al!

I think the stories coming back around, Justin. You're doing good :D

[Super Scooter]

YAY! I don't suck as much! :p

.. thanks, Sarah :flirt:

[sarah_yzma]

But now you have to keep on writing! I'm waiting for the next chapter!

[theprawncracker]

But now you have to keep on writing! I'm waiting for the next chapter!
*Rizzo voice* Ain't we all? Pass da popcorn.

[Super Scooter]

But now you have to keep on writing!

... okay.

SCENE 11

INT. MUPPET THEATER

The show is on, and everyone is running around frantically. No one has any clue what needs to be done. KERMIT is trying to get everyone settled down (as it's what he does best).

KERMIT: What is going on here?

GONZO: Oh, Kermit! It's a disaster! No one knows when they're supposed to go on---

KERMIT: (cutting him off) Oh, that's impossible, I made up the schedule.

GONZO: Kermit, I hate to say it, but have you ever seen your handwriting? Scooter's the only one who can decipher that dead language.

KERMIT: (scrunches face) What's wrong with my handwriting?

GONZO: I think it's a flipper versus hand issue. Besides that, Kermit, the guest stars not even here!

KERMIT: What??? What do you mean the guest star's not here? Didn't Pops let him in?

POPS enters.

POPS: I'm gettin' too old for this! I just had my prostate out, I can't be sitting watching some door all day!

KERMIT: Yeesh! So, what acts do we have?

GONZO: Well, Kermit, it's looking bleak. Usually I can work with bleak, but this bleak beyond even my act!

KERMIT: What do we have, Gonzo?

GONZO: Crazy Harry.

KERMIT: I'm afraid to ask. What's he going to do?

GONZO: Well, he kind of alread did it...

PIGGY enters from the stage, covered in ash.

KERMIT: *GASP* P-P-Piggy! What happened?

PIGGY: DON'T ask!

PIGGY exits.

GONZO: Thing of it is, I wish I'd thought of it.

KERMIT: What I'd like to know is what's left of Harry?

FOZZIE enters.

FOZZIE: Kermit! Kermit! Oh, Kermit, I gotta tell ya, I won't be going on tonight.

KERMIT: Oh, good.

FOZZIE: ... uh, er, well, would you like to know why?

GONZO: Well, we don't have a whole lot of anything else to go on.

KERMIT: That is true. Fozzie, why aren't you going on? We need you! For once, we need you!

FOZZIE: Oh, thank you! But, seriously, I will not be going on. Scooter was supposed to help me with my monologue, I don't even know whether or not this is really funny!

KERMIT: We can only hope the audience won't either. Go on, Fozzie!

FOZZIE: *sigh* Yes, sir.

FOZZIE goes out on stage.

PEPE enters.

PEPE: Kermin! This is disaster, okay!

KERMIT: Oh, what could it be now?

PEPE: I was looking at the script-play for this movie, okay, and I noticed something peculiar. You know what this peculiar thing was? I haven't been on screen since Scene 4! This is so not according to my contract, okay.

KERMIT: Er, not now, Pepe.

PEPE: But ju cannot make a "muffin" movie without Pepe, the main "muffin"!

KERMIT: Muppet!

PEPE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, tomatoe, potatoe, is all the same, okay.

FOZZIE re-enters, covered in vegetable remains.

FOZZIE: Kermit? I think they knew it wasn't funny.

KERMIT: Yeesh!

GONZO: Kermit, I think the show's falling apart.

KERMIT: Gee, Scooter usually helps make sure everyone knows what's going on.

LEW ZELAND enters.

LEW ZELAND: Hey, Kermit, is it okay if me and my boomerang fish go on now?

KERMIT: ... Sure, go ahead.

LEW ZELAND: Wow! Thank you! Come on, Murray.

LEW ZELAND and his fish go onstage.

GONZO: Uh, Kermit? Are you sure about that?

KERMIT: Well, it couldn't hurt.

PEPE: ANY-way, back to me, I think I need more scenes in this movie, Kermin, preferababably with some sultry, sexy leading lady type person, okay.

KERMIT: Pepe!

PEPE: Don't worry, don't worry. I take care of everything on my end, you just take care of everything else. Oh, but she cannot be too sexy, okay, I think there's some sort of illegals there with the photographing too much sexiness at once, okay. I am almost the legal limit myself, okay.

LEW ZELAND returns from the stage.

LEW ZELAND: Oh, they love me! They love me! MWAH MWAH! Do you hear that crowd?

They listen close and hear the crowd applauding loudly.

KERMIT: Wow.

GONZO: Gee, and you always left him out of the show.

KERMIT: This just isn't my night. (to camera) I wonder how things are going with Scooter and the band?

[Barry Lee]

I LOVE IT! Harry! Simon Smith! Lew Zeland! MURRAYYY! Pepe lines are absolutely WONDERFUL, so so true to the character. I will soon be writing a movie script aswell but its different. But FABULOUS job, esp. with the Bean and Bobo lines SPOT ON.

Wow. just wow. I am loving this so much. I wanna see this movie NOW DISNEY!

[heralde]

Lol, I love that they backed up Weird Al!

[theprawncracker]

PEPE!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!! That was one of THE BEST Pepe scenes I've ever read!! *applauds Super Scoot*

[Super Scooter]

*bows*

(with all humility) thank you, thank you...

Pepe's so much fun to write for. :rolleyes:

[sarah_yzma]

Yay more Pepe lines :D

It was very good!

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 12

EXT. DESERT - NIGHT

The ELECTRIC MAYHEM BUS is off the road... and completely upside-down. SCOOTER, DR. TEETH, FLOYD, ANIMAL, JANICE, ZOOT, BEAN, and BOBO stand staring at it.

SCOOTER: Wow!

FLOYD: I tell you what, that is incredible.

DR. TEETH: Wouldn't think I'd be able to flip it so perfectly.

BEAN: Ha ha! That was neat!

ZOOT: Cosmic, man!

JANICE: Like, fer sure!

ANIMAL: Stunt double! Stunt double!

BOBO: I think I wet myself.

FLOYD: Hey, when we decide to bring the bear along?

DR. TEETH: Funny, I hadn't noticed him.

SCOOTER and BEAN start hitching for a ride, walking along down the road.

BEAN: La la la la la la!

SCOOTER: Why so happy, Bean?

BEAN: Oh, I'm just glad to be in another movie! Last time anyone even saw me, I got smacked in the face with a door.

Of course, BEAN's not watching where he's going, and runs right into a cactus bush.

BEAN: Yow!

SCOOTER: Watch out for that, Bean.

BEAN: Thanks for the warning.

SCOOTER: Wait a minute, weren't you around for our Moulin Scrooge show?

BEAN: You try to block out any memory of servitude toward Miss Piggy.

SCOOTER: Yeah, I suppose. You know, we oughta stop talkin' about those other movies, I think we're losing the audience.

BEAN: What is that, three of them we've mentioned?

SCOOTER: Yeah, I think so.

BEAN: Let's go for a record! Most Muppet movies or TV specials mentioned in another Muppet movie!

SCOOTER: Hmm. Not a bad contest.

They hear a horn honking from behind them. They look back to see the ELECTRIC MAYHEM boarding a new bus.

DR. TEETH: All aboard that's coming aboard!

FLOYD: You fellas better hurry up! Who knows how long the Barenaked Ladies will wait around here!

SCOOTER AND BEAN: Barenaked Ladies???

ED, STEVE, TYLER, KEVIN, and JIM of the BARENAKED LADIES stick their heads out the van windows.

BARENAKED LADIES: Hello, there!

SCOOTER: Wow! Look, Bean! The Barenaked Ladies! They're great!

BEAN: Eh, they're alright.

SCOOTER: You don't like them?

BEAN: Music's not hard enough.

The two quickly run to join the others and get on the bus.

SCOOTER: Wow! What are you guys doing here?

STEVE: Well, we thought you might be in a bit of a jam.

DR. TEETH: Man, we love to jam!

ED: Or, rather a pickle.

FLOYD: Man, I love me some pickles!

STEVE: So, here we are!

BARENAKED LADIES: The Barenaked Ladies to save the day!

BEAN: Hey, I thought of another contest, Scooter.

SCOOTER: What's that, Bean?

BEAN: Number of times we can say "Barenaked Ladies" in a Muppet movie. Ha ha!

They all get on the bus, and head out.

[sarah_yzma]

Nice. Not a huge barenaked ladies fan, but LOVE it!

[Super Scooter]

Awwwwwww! :cry:

Well, you got your Weird Al scene (and maybe another? hmmmmmmmm. ;) )

[Super Scooter]

Thing is, I found a Weird Al song I liked even better for with the Muppets, but it's too late for this time, I guess...

[sarah_yzma]

Haha. OK would be awesome, but NO ONE would recognize it ;)

Although they would be easy to get for a movie, since the Mouse signs their contracts as well :D

[Super Scooter]

Haha. OK would be awesome, but NO ONE would recognize it ;)

Although they would be easy to get for a movie, since the Mouse signs their contracts as well :D
... I didn't mention off kilter in the thread, silly. :p I said of another Weird Al song. haha!

[sarah_yzma]

oh. Darn...mixing up my AIM and forums once again!

Too much caffeine in that there mocha!

[Super Scooter]

coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeeco ffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee

[theprawncracker]

Oh my goodness Scoot! This just keeps getting better and better! I really really love it!!

[Super Scooter]

INT. BARENAKED LADIES' VAN

SCOOTER, BEAN, BOBO, THE ELECTRIC MAYEHM, and THE BARENAKED LADIES drive along.

SCOOTER: So, what brings you out to the middle of nowhere?

STEVE: Oh, we figured this'd be a pretty good moment for a song.

ED: And since you already gave Weird Al a shot...

STEVE: ... we figured we had an easy in.

FLOYD: Hey, you guys always share lines like Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum?

SCOOTER: Floyd!

FLOYD: Sorry, man, it was just weird and freaky!

DR. TEETH: That's our style, baby.

ANIMAL: Weird and freaky.

DR. TEETH: Hey, do any of these other guys ever talk?

JIM: Of course we talk.

KEVIN: I suppose we could talk as well as you can.

TYLER: Mmm-hmmm.

ZOOT looks at TYLER and pats him on the back.

JIM: Say, what were you guys doing back there, anyway?

FLOYD: Well, Dr. Teeth here decided he wanted to see if he could make that hairpin turn without slowin' down from ninty miles per hour.

JIM: Well, what happened?

DR. TEETH: We didn't make that hairpin turn without slowin' down from ninty miles per hour.

STEVE: Well, we've got a long way to go...

FLOYD: ... and the back seat is crowded!

BOBO: You have no idea how claustrophobic I am getting back here!!!

STEVE: ... what do we say to a little traveling music?

[Super Scooter]

A brief pause while I figure out what song they're actually going to sing.

Oh my goodness Scoot! This just keeps getting better and better! I really really love it!!

thanks, man!

[sarah_yzma]

Woah...you're writing this AND holding out a full AIM conversation?

*bows*

[Super Scooter]

bwa ha ha ha ha!

*evil laughter cut short by flying monkeys*

:confused: :confused: :confused:

[theprawncracker]

HAHAHA! This is GREAT! I love Bobo! And the whole band is just great! Keep it up! :excited:

[sarah_yzma]

Uhhh...what just happened?

[Super Scooter]

I actually have no idea where that came from.

[theprawncracker]

It came from another woooooooorld!! :crazy:

No, seriously, it came from Pittsburgh.

[sarah_yzma]

I always knew that place was run by Martians.

[Super Scooter]

SCOOTER: You know, I never realized the Barenaked Ladies even had any tavelling music.

ED: Well, anything can be travelling music.

SCOOTER: So, what are we going to sing?

STEVE: La la la la, lenolium!

ALL: No.

STEVE: Okay. Oh, I got one! Hit it!

FLOYD plays an intro out on his guitar.

As the song progresses, it should seem almost as if they're singing to SCOOTER, who ponders over the lyrics as it goes along.

STEVE:

Well let me tell you if you're feeling alone,
Instead of whining and moaning,
Just get on the phone, tell her you're coming home

ALL:

If you need her, you should be there

STEVE:

If you scream in your sleep, or collapse in a heap
And spontaneously weep, then you know you're in deep

ALL:

If you need her, you should be there
Go Home

FLOYD AND JANICE:

There's nothing better than affairs of the heart
To make you feel so good then tear you apart
Make up your mind and stick it out or start again

STEVE:

You can't imagine what an effort it takes
When you make a mistake
And you know in the wake that a heart's going to break

ALL:

If you need her, you should be there

DR. TEETH:

If you're flummoxed and flushed
And your heartbeat is rushed
Then get out of the slush, tell your dog team to mush

ALL:

If you need her, you should be there
Go Home

FLOYD AND JANICE:

If you think of her as Joan of Arc
She's burning for you, get your car out of park
If you think of her as Catherine the Great
Then you should be the horse to help her meet her fate

ALL:

If you need her, you should be there,
Go Home

STEVE AND FLOYD:

You can't believe it, but it's true
She's given everything to you
Now take a moment to be sure
Before you give it all to her

STEVE:

Well now you're thinking that it's over at last,
All your woes in the past
But you've got to be fast; put your foot on the gas

ALL:

If you need her, you should be there

STEVE:

So now you're out from under the gun
And it's over and done
I won't spoil all the fun but if you ever wonder

ALL:

She'll be there if you need her
Go Home

STEVE AND FLOYD:

If you're lucky to be one of the few
To find somebody who can tolerate you
Then I shouldn't have to tell you again
Just pack your bags and get yourself on a plane

ALL:

If you need her, you should be there
Go Home
If you need her, you should be there
Go Home!

EXT. DESERT - NIGHT

The BARENAKED LADIES BUS pulls off to the side of the road, and all the Muppets within get out (except BOBO).

STEVE: Well, there ya here!

FLOYD: Hey, thanks, man!

ED: No problem! And if you ever need anything, just hollar!

They drive off.

JANICE: Gee, like, they were so totally groovy!

FLOYD: (looking around) Hey. Hey, wait a minute, man! We right back where we started from!

We adjust to reveal the overturned bus. They all stand staring at it.

FLOYD: They brought us back to our own dang bus!

BEAN: Those jerks! ... By the way, has anyone seen Bobo?

INT. BARENAKED LADIES BUS

BOBO is in the back, eating all their food.

BOBO: Say, any of you guys got any ketchup?

EXT. DESERT

FLOYD: They brought us back to the same spot, and they stole our bear! *sigh* Well, guess we better start anklin'.

They all begin to walk down the road. SCOOTER stops, though, for a moment. He's thinking. He looks around.

SCOOTER: Go home? Go home. Gosh. I know they weren't meaning me, but... were they? I miss the Muppet theater, but... I like it out here. *sigh*

SCOOTER starts to follow after them.

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 13

INT. MUPPET THEATER

FOZZIE sits all alone in the big, empty auditorium.

FOZZIE: *sigh* It sure can get lonely in here. It's so big and quiet. It's kind of... intimdating, actually. It never used to be like this, I don't think. Scooter was always in the theater, he practically lived here! We would sit here and laugh and tell jokes and watch old T.V. shows... *sigh* I miss Scooter.

A TELEVISION enters and sets down in front of FOZZIE.

TELEVISION: Hey, Foz, how you doin'?

FOZZIE: Not so great, television.

TELEVISION: Maybe I could cheer you up. Wanna watch a few shows for old time's sake?

FOZZIE: Well, okay. Maybe that'll help me get my mind off things.

The TELEVISION turns on. All in the Family is playing.

FOZZIE: Wah! Now that is funny! This should cheer me up! Oh, this is Scooter's favorite episode, remember? ... Suddenly, I'm not quite so cheered up anymore. Change the channel, T.V.

It changes to a commercial for scooters.

TELEVISION ANNOUNCER: Introducing the new, and improved, sleeker, faster, better scooter from mattel! This is the scooter for you! And, act now, and you'll not recevie one scooter, but TWO scooters for the low, low price of---

FOZZIE: Ack! Change the channel! Change the channel!

It changes to Snoopy, Come Home.

FOZZIE: Oh, this is better. I just love the Peanuts. Silly Snoopy! He thinks he'd be happier someplace else, so he's... (sad) running away from home! Oh, turn it off, television.

TELEVISION: (turning off) Okay. Just trying to cheer you up.

The TELEVISION exits.

FOZZIE sits there alone, looking around.

FOZZIE: *sigh*

(sung)

Just when you think that you know where you stand
You got the world in your hand
Just when you're sure of a dream that you planned,
That's when the scenery changes.
It changes.

FOZZIE stands, and starts to walk around the empty building.

FOZZIE:

Just when you think that you know all the facts
You hold the whole ball of wax
You've got it made, you can start to relax,
That's when your world rearranges.
It changes.

Someone that you really cared about,
Someone that you couldn't live without
Severs the ties.

All at once, you're all alone and scared,
All the happy hellos that you shared
Change to goodbyes.

Why must we pay for the lows that we say?
Pay when we sigh an adieu.
Just when you're sure and you're safe and secure,
That's when it happens to you.
It changes.

KERMIT enters, and watches FOZZIE from behind as he continues his song.

Why must we pay for the lows that we say?
Pay when we sigh an adieu.
Just when you're sure and you're safe and secure,
That's when it happens to you.
It changes.
Why, oh, why?

KERMIT approaches and places his hand on FOZZIE's shoulder.

[The Count]

Heh... Let that be a lesson to you, young Muppets. Never accept rides from musical acts other than your own.

[Super Scooter]

Heh... Let that be a lesson to you, young Muppets. Never accept rides from musical acts other than your own.
Hehe, I take it that's for scene 12? ;)

(I added more, Count! EEEE!)

But, that's right, kiddies. Say no to drugs, alcohol, and rides with an all-male group with an identity crisis.

[The Count]

Yep... Got ziffled with the new scene.
Loved the bit with the TV, and how each show reminded Fozzie of his loss. The song was great too... And I like how you're paying attention to the second purpose of the story, to try and see things from the point of view of Richard's departure.

Look forward to more.

[Super Scooter]

I dunno if any of you know who this singer is, but I needed a female singer cuz I didn't have any for this yet. Besides, I really like the song. It has a sorta Muppety beat to it, and the lyrics are kinda nice.

SCENE 14

EXT. STREET - DAY

A side street of Chicago! SCOOTER, BEAN, and the ELECTRIC MAYHEM are wandering the streets, lost.

FLOYD: So, this is Chicago, huh?

JANICE: Like, wow! This is fantastic!

DR. TEETH: Makes you kinda wonder why we've never been here before.

FLOYD: Speakin' o' never bein' here before, we is lost!

JANICE: Fer sure.

DR. TEETH: Well, if we're lost, maybe we oughta---

FLOYD: Wait! Don't tell me! I know what you're gonna say. Maybe we oughta try Hare Krishna.

BEAN: Check one for The Muppet Movie!

FLOYD: We are lost as all lost can be!

BEAN: Well, no fear! I was a boy scout, and our motto is to be prepared!

SCOOTER: So, you're prepared, huh?

BEAN: Well, not exactly. They didn't teach us much after the motto. But I can make a really cute snow globe out of items found about the forest!

FLOYD: In case you hadn't noticed, we ain't in the forest.

SCOOTER: And there's enough tourist shops, I'm sure we could find a snow globe.

BEAN: *sigh* What's the point of having talent if your talent has no point?

FLOYD: Man, can you believe it? Lost in Chicago on a Saturday. I tell you what, man, this stinks.

ANIMAL: *sniff sniff* So-rry!

DR. TEETH: If only them Barenaked Ladies hadn't stranded us in the middle o' nowhere...

FLOYD: Yeah, how 'bout that, man? If I ever catch them, I'll sic Animal on 'em!

ANIMAL: Kill! Kill!

FLOYD: Yeah, Animal's gonna get the Barenaked Ladies!

ANIMAL: Kill! Ki--- Ladies? Wo-man! Wo-man!

FLOYD: Down Animal! Down!

SCOOTER: We really oughta find our way out of here.

DR. TEETH: The kid speaks the truth.

SCOOTER: You'd think watching all those John Hughes movies might give you an idea of how to get around in this city.

DR. TEETH: John Hughes?

JANICE: More like John Who, fer sure.

ZOOT: Man, that was so lame.

FLOYD: Well, let's see if we can't get out of here. Come on, gang!

The group start to leave. They walk past a young girl playing her guitar. SCOOTER stops to introduce her.

SCOOTER: (to camera) Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Holly Brooks!

SCOOTER joins her on guitar (this is his story, after all ;-)).

The song is accompanied by a montage of the gang trying to find their way around Chicago.

HOLLY:

(sung)

Saturday, what a day, what a silly little day.
Time to kill take a pill as i sit and contemplate
How i'd like to be around all the people in the town with their fancy cars and things,
But I... I've got time.

Stop pushin' all your tragedies away,
Each moment has got a lesson for the day,
Take something with you if you drag your heels in yesterdays,
Oh, these saturdays.

In the haste, in the grace, I've been up to my waist.
It isn't real what you feel when you find love in a chase.
I've been waiting for the day when someone takes me away and I never get replaced,
But I... I've got time.

Stop pushin' all your tragedies away,
Each moment has got a lesson for the day,
Take something with you if you drag your heels in yesterdays,
Oh, these saturdays.

As I sink, one more drink, I am running out of ink.
Feeling void, paranoid about every little thing.
And I wonder if I try to get up and say goodbye if I'll have the strength to leave,
Cuz I... I don't have much time anymore.

Stop pushin' all your tragedies away,
Each moment has got a lesson for the day,
Take something with you if you drag your heels in yesterdays,
Oh, these saturdays.

SCOOTER: Well, boy, Holly, it was really nice playing with ya, but we're gettin' kinda sidetracked from the story, so I'd better get outta here. Bye!

HOLLY: Goodbye!

SCOOTER runs off.

HOLLY: Who was that?

[Super Scooter]

Hmmm. Starting to put in too many songs, I think...

Ah, I only have 3 more for the whole thing.

[The Count]

So... The band's lost, are they?
Have they tried Harry Krishna?

[Super Scooter]

Have they tried Harry Krishna?
Weeeeeell, as much as I wanted to put the good ol' Hare Krishna throw-away in there, and I probably shoulda, I think I mighta referenced too many other Muppet movies already.

[The Count]

Aw... But isn't that Scooter and Bean were trying to do? Get a record for most Muppet specials/movies referenced/mentioned in another movie?

[Super Scooter]

Aw... But isn't that Scooter and Bean were trying to do? Get a record for most Muppet specials/movies referenced/mentioned in another movie?

True. Hmmm. I think I'll add that now, actually.

I also realized, this would actually make a terrible movie. No original songs, and possibly the smallest Miss Piggy role since The Muppet Show, Season one?

(just added it)

[The Count]

Oh... I don't think it's that bad a movie. Statler and Waldorf might... But keep it comin'!

[ryhoyarbie]

If there's one thing I like in the story, its that Miss Piggy has a very small role for such a large pig! (That would be a great Floyd line)

I like the story. Keep it coming!

[sarah_yzma]

Nice point, Ryan...you know she's not there, but it doesn't bother you (at all).

Doing awesome, Justin!

[Super Scooter]

Thanks!

For those of you who might like to see this movie made ;) , you can either write to the Walt Disney Company and demand it be filmed, or I can slowly piece it together using pre-existing footage... starting with Scene 1: Six-String Orchestra (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCRZveEz7vs&mode=related&search=)

[heralde]

or I can slowly piece it together using pre-existing footage... starting with Scene 1: Six-String Orchestra (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCRZveEz7vs&mode=related&search=)

That's an interesting idea!

And I loved the use of the song from "Snoopy Come Home." It's always been such a tear jerker. :cry:

[Super Scooter]

And I loved the use of the song from "Snoopy Come Home." It's always been such a tear jerker. :cry:
Hehe! I'm curious to know if you're the first person to realize where that song was from.

I know Foz would know, but I don't think he's looked at this yet.

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 15

INT. MUPPET THEATER

A large crowd of Muppets have gathered around backstage, many carrying blank picket signs. KERMIT enters, sees what's going on, and shudders.

KERMIT: What the hey? What is going on around here?

FOZZIE: Kermit, we are going on strike.

KERMIT: On strike?

FOZZIE: Yes, Kermit, we are all going on strike.

RIZZO: And there ain't nuttin you can do about it! Right?

They're all in agreeance.

LINK: Excuse me, but is this the line to the men's room?

KERMIT: Why are you all going on strike?

They all look at each other confused.

FOZZIE: Well, we haven't quite figured that part out yet, Kermit.

RIZZO: Every time we try and figure it out, it gets into a big arguement.

ZIPPITY-ZAP: It don't get into no arguement.

RIZZO: It gets into a huge arguement!

ZIPPITY-ZAP: No, it don't.

RIZZO: Yes, it do!

ZIPPITY-ZAP: No, it don't.

RIZZO: Yes, it do!

ZIPPITY-ZAP: No, it don't.

RIZZO: Don't mess with me, man! I have carried the plague!

KERMIT: Alright, alright! Yeesh! Does this have anything to do with Scooter's not being here?

FOZZIE: Weeell, sorta, I think. Some say yes, others say no. But the show is a mess, Kermit!

KERMIT: I know, I know.

STATLER: The show was a mess before!

WALDORF: Yeah!

KERMIT: You guys are picketing, too?

STATLER: Of course!

WALDORF: We're picketing that they stay on strike!

KERMIT: Good grief!

PEPE: Kermin, I would just like to say, if you had included me in the movie more, we could have avoided this whole messy situation, okay. Look how many peoples have rallied to my cause!

KERMIT: Pepe, they're not picketing because of you, they're picketing because of the show!

PEPE: I am the show, okay! Without me, where do you think all the sexy womens would come from?

RIZZO: There are sexy womens?

PEPE: Galore, okay!

KERMIT: Everybody, please, just stop this.

FOZZIE: I'm sorry, Kermit, our minds are made up.

KERMIT: On what???

FOZZIE: We're still not sure yet.

KERMIT: Yeesh!

ROWLF: Kermit, the thing of it is, the show stinks. You can't blame it on the dog this time...

BEAN pops up momentarily.

BEAN: That's one for The Muppets Take Manhattan!

BEAN disappears.

ROWLF: ... it just does. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's Scooter, maybe something else. Something's missing. And, well, things are gonna be pretty rocky for a while, I guess.

KERMIT: Yes, but we just need to stick it out. The show's not all bad... well, it is, but we need to just keep working at it. We'll get it eventually, even without whatever it is that's missing. We just have to stick together. Now, what do you say?

All the Muppets look at each other.

ALL: Nah!

RIZZO: Picketing's just so much easier.

GONZO: It's like vacation!

FOZZIE: We'll be back when everything's fixed, Kermit.

LINK: I still have to use the bathroom! Are they done yet?

The Muppets start to exit. KERMIT has had all he can take.

KERMIT: (exploding) All right, that's it! Nobody is going anywhere! We have work to do! I don't care if you think something's missing, I don't care if we don't have an audience, the show is going on!!! The show is going on, and you will all be there if I have to nail you to the stage!!! No one is picketing! No one is going on strike! You're going to stay here, and you are going to work! I pay the bills here, I pay your wages, and I haven't had a cup of coffee in over a week, and I'm sick of it! I tell you, I'm sick of it! Sick of it! Sick! Sick! *pant pant pant pant*

The Muppets all start to go back to work.

FOZZIE: Well, you could ask nicely!

GONZO: Yeah, don't be so bombastic.

PEPE: Si, if I did something like this, people would think I was crazy, okay.

RIZZO: Maybe you oughta get some therapy or something.

ROWLF: I hear drinkin's a powerful tool.

RIZZO: Seems like he's already been doin' some o' dat.

SAM: Very Un-American.

BEAKER waves his finger at KERMIT as if to say "shame shame".

BEAKER: Mee mee mee!

BUNSEN: Yes, very shameful.

KERMIT is left there, always the victim of whatever happens.

KERMIT: Yeesh!

[The Count]

Heh... Kermit in angered tantrum self-defeating mode, funny. Especially after the others go back to work admonishing the frog for his outburst.

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 16

EXT. BATTLE OF THE BANDS CONCERT

SCOOTER, BEAN, and the ELECTRIC MAYHEM members make their way through the crowds toward the stage. It's actually incredibly nice for a concert. They're in Beverly Hills.

SCOOTER: Wow! This is incredible!

FLOYD: I better be for how much it cost to get in here.

DR. TEETH: Beverly Hills, 90210! Hey, this must be where that show takes place!

JANICE: Oh, like, Luke Perry's a total babe!

FLOYD: Hey, man!

JANICE: Oh! Sorry, honey!

FLOYD: Yeah, that's what I thought.

ZOOT: Hey, I thought she was my woman!

FLOYD: Well, look at it this way, I could arrange it so your lips were permenantly attached to that saxaphone.

ZOOT: ... That'd be fan-scadiddlybop-tastic!

BEAN: Hey, there's another Muppet line, Scooter!

SCOOTER: What's that one from?

BEAN: Uh, I actually can't remember.

FLOYD: Come on, man! We're booked for this here shin-dig!

BEAN: Wow! This is pretty cool, huh, Scooter?

SCOOTER: It's great! Really great! I wonder who we'll be playing against.

DR. TEETH: Who cares?

FLOYD: Yeah, we got this thing in the bag, man!

SCOOTER: Well, still, it'd be nice to know who the competition was.

FLOYD: Well, when it happens, you'll know.

BEAN: Is that a Muppet movie line?

SCOOTER: No, the line was: "The first time it happens, you know."

BEAN: That's the one! That's one big check on The Great Muppet Caper!

SCOOTER: ... You're actually keeping track?

BEAN: I'm keeping tally on the bottom of my foot.

SCOOTER: That's a little weird.

BEAN: I keep weird company.

DR. TEETH: The gang is babbling!

FLOYD: What are you guys talkin' about? We gotta get on stage.

Our group of musical Muppets make their way to the stage. Once on stage, they meet the host of the contest...

[The Count]

Heh... I'm liking the humor this has developed in the last two scenes.

Zoot's had his mouth stuck to his saxophone... The Gilda Radner episode where he and Rowlf played a sort of love song and the rogue glue stuck them to their instruments.
Fan-skiddly-boptastic... The Tale of The Bunny Picnic?
So, how many references does that make?
If he keeps weird company, then don't tell Gonzo or he'll have the little lepan leapin' into the stratosphere attached to nothing but a blast-off bunjee cord.

[Super Scooter]

Zoot's had his mouth stuck to his saxophone... The Gilda Radner episode where he and Rowlf played a sort of love song and the rogue glue stuck them to their instruments.

Really? I've haven't seen that episode yet. Well, there's one more reference, isn't it?

Fan-skiddly-boptastic... The Tale of The Bunny Picnic?

Maybe, but I know Zoot has said it before. I think it's in one of the movies, maybe the first one, but I'm not sure.

So, how many references does that make?
References that I'm counting (just the movies and TV movies) that's five (I think). Three to go!

[The Count]

*In Scooter voice: OK, if you say so boss.

Yeah... It was the glue developed back at Muppet Labs to help the Eskimos from the opening number "The Lullaby of Broadway".
Why would Eskimos need glue? In case they broke their ig.
Yeah, bad joke... But it's their joke.

[Super Scooter]

Yeah... It was the glue developed back at Muppet Labs to help the Eskimos from the opening number "The Lullaby of Broadway".
Why would Eskimos need glue? In case they broke their ig.
Yeah, bad joke... But it's their joke.
I've seen the Lullaby of Broadway number, just not the show. That is an absolutely wonderful joke!

Well, Bean wouldn't know about that episode, his generation didn't get to see much of The Muppet Show. :p

[Super Scooter]

...the host of the contest is none other than DR. DEMENTO!

DR. DEMENTO: Hello, everyone! Welcome to the battle of the bands, I'm Dr. Demento, your host for the evening! Tonight we've got a great line-up of some wonderful talent, and some not so wonderful talent. So, now, to get things rolling, let's introduce... Pepe the King Prawn!

Yes, PEPE. He is already onstage, revealed as DR. DEMENTO exits.

PEPE: Hola! Si, it is me, Pepe. I took all the copies of the script, and since there were not enough scenes with me in them in this movie, I added a whole bunch of them, okay. Ehhh, unfortunately, most of them have already taken place, so you will not be able to see them. But, don't worry. Don't worry. You go buy the DVD when it comes out, and they will all be there. Trust me, trust me on this one, okay. Anyway, looking back into my memory banks, I don't really have too much musicals in my history, so now, for this battle of the bands, I present to you my band... Richard!

Goofy music starts. SEYMOUR enters.

SEYMOUR:

(sung)

I'm Seymour!

PEPE:

I'm Pepe!

BOTH:

We're two of a kind!

PEPE:

I'm a little bit forward...

SEYMOUR:

And I've got a big behind!

PEPE: (spoken) Say, Seymour?

SEYMOUR: Yes, Pepe?

PEPE: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

SEYMOUR: Elephino?

PEPE: Nooo, eh--- What's this you stealing my lines?

SEYMOUR: Oh, sorry, Pepe.

PEPE: It's okay, it's okay. I got a better one! I got a better one! Say, Seymour?

SEYMOUR: Yes, Pepe?

PEPE: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

SEYMOUR: I don't know. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

PEPE: Ah, never mind. It's irrelevant!!!

SEYMOUR: Ah, ha ha ha ha ha!

PEPE: You don't get it, do you?

SEYMOUR: No.

PEPE: See, it's very simple, okay. When you cross an elephant with a rhino, you get a relephant. Therefore, it's irrelevant!

SEYMOUR: You're right, it's irrelevant. I don't get the point anymore!

PEPE: Unbelievable, okay!

They get booed off.

[Super Scooter]

DR. DEMENTO returns to the stage as SEYMOUR and PEPE (grumbling) exit.

DR. DEMENTO: Okay! That was very... uh, on to the next performer! ... Okay, there seems to be a bit of a mix-up here. Two of our bands are playing the same song.

SCOOTER: Heh, wonder who that is.

FLOYD: Poor, sorry sap. Doesn't know enough to come up with somethin' original.

DR. DEMENTO: Would the Electric Mayhem please step forward?

DR. TEETH: Dang it!

DR. DEMENTO: And also, the band... Weezer?

SCOOTER: Weezer? Weezer's here?

BRIAN, RIVERS, SCOTT, and PAT of WEEZER step forward.

WEEZER: Aw, man! What'd we do?

DR. DEMENTO: It seems your two bands have picked the same song to sing. Now, you can either play it together, or you can choose a new song.

FLOYD: ... Call dibs on keepin' the song!

BRIAN: Not fair! It's our song!

FLOYD: And we called it! Heh heh!

RIVERS: No, it's our song. We wrote it! We played it first!

FLOYD: Yeah, and we also got us a groovier video to go with it! Hit it, man!

WEEZER's Beverly Hills begins to play, and the ELECTRIC MAYHEM's video runs with it. Their video is a spoof of the original WEEZER video. We cut back and forth between the ELECTRIC MAYHEM video, and WEEZER playing on stage at the battle of the bands concert.

FLOYD:

(sung)

Where I come from isn't all that great,
My automobile is a piece of crap,
My fashion sense is a little whack
And my friends are just as screwy as me.

RIVERS:

I didn't go to boarding schools,
Preppy girls never looked at me.
Why should they? I ain't nobody,
Got nothin' in my pocket.

DR. TEETH:

Beverly Hills,
That's where I want to be!
Living in Beverly Hills.
Beverly Hills,
Rollin' like a celebrity!
Living in Beverly Hills.

We show a few clips of BEAN and SCOOTER dancing with playboy bunnies throughout.

FLOYD:

Look at all those movie stars,
The look so beautiful and clean.
When the housemaids scrub the floors,
They get the spaces inbetween.

RIVERS:

I wanna live a life like that!
I wanna be just like a king.
Take my picture by the pool
Cuz I'm the next big thing in...

DR. TEETH:

Beverly Hills,
That's where I want to be!
Living in Beverly Hills.
Beverly Hills,
Rollin' like a celebrity!
Living in Beverly Hills.

SCOOTER:

The truth is, I don't stand a chance.
It's something that you're born into
And I just don't belong.

RIVERS:

No I don't, I'm just a no-class, beat-down fool,
And I will always be that way.
I might as well enjoy my life
And watch the stars play...

ALL:

Beverly Hills,
That's where I want to be!
Living in Beverly Hills.
Beverly Hills,
Rollin' like a celebrity!
Living in Beverly Hills.
Beverly Hills!
Beverly Hills!
Living in Beverly Hills...

The two bands celebrate together at the end of the song.

FLOYD: Hey, you guys are okay.

DR. TEETH: You ever wanna become real stars, you come see us, and we'll give you a few pointers.

RIVERS: Well, that'd be great, Dr. Teeth. You know, I've always liked you. In fact, I'd probably vote you for president.

FLOYD: Hey, man, just play the gig! Never get involved in politics!

BEAN: And now we got Muppet Treasure Island covered.

SCOOTER: Ha ha!

DR. DEMENTO comes on.

DR. DEMENTO: Okay, folks! Now, it's time to announce the winner of this year's semi-annual Beverly Hills battle of the bands contest. The winner is... Weird Al Yankovic!

WEEZER AND ELECTRIC MAYHEM: What???

WEIRD AL enters excitedly playing his accordian.

WEIRD AL: Whoooo-hooooo! Yes! Ha ha ha ha!

WEIRD AL grabs hold of the microphone.

WEIRD AL: Whoooooo! This is great! This award goes right in the face of all thos people who said UHF sucked! It didn't suck! It was the best movie ever!!!

WEIRD AL gets two responses from the crowd in agreeance... the rest remain silent.

WEIRD AL: ... Twenty-seven, forever!!!

The crowd goes wild.

FLOYD: Dagnabit!

SCOOTER: Oh, well.

BEAN: Twenty-seven? What'd he mean by twenty-seven?

SCOOTER: ... I dunno.

[The Count]

Woo-hoo! That was probably the best part so far!

Dr. Demento!
Weird Al winning the award! Yes, there is justice in this world.
27 Forever baby!

Post more... Soon... Please!

[ryhoyarbie]

Either I missed something or I didn't read well enough, but how did the Electirc Mayhem get from Chicago to L.A.?

Either way, I love the story.

[Super Scooter]

Either I missed something or I didn't read well enough, but how did the Electirc Mayhem get from Chicago to L.A.?
Another point you missed is that they were once in the desert. How did they get from the Muppet theater to Nevada to Chicago to L.A.? ... But, I don't ask questions. I just write the script. :)

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 17

EXT. STREET

SCOOTER, BEAN, and the ELECTRIV MAYHEM are walking through the streets of L.A.

FLOYD: Come on, man! We only got a day to get there.

SCOOTER: Where are we going now?

FLOYD: We're goin' to the biggest concert we'll ever get to play at!

SCOOTER: Wow! And we're the star band?

DR. TEETH: Star band? Who said anything about being the star band?

JANICE: Like, we'll be lucky if they let us clean the toilets!

FLOYD: Hey, man, that's not cool! You gotta have faith! Stick it out. We could play there if we put our minds to it.

SCOOTER: Wow, really?

FLOYD: Naw, but it sounded good, didn't it?

SCOOTER: So, where's the concert?

DR. TEETH: New York City!

SCOOTER: New York City???

PASSING COWBOYS: New York City???

SCOOTER: We're in L.A.! We've gotta get to New York City???

COWBOYS: New York City???

FLOYD: (to COWBOYS) We heard the joke the first time!

DR. TEETH: Yeah, it wasn't funny then, and it ain't funny now. Beat it!

The COWBOYS leave, disapointed.

SCOOTER: How on earth are we ever going to get to New York City?

FLOYD: Like I said, we best get anklin'.

SCOOTER: Wait a minute! I have an idea!

SCOOTER walks out of frame for a moment.

DR. TEETH: Should we leave him?

FLOYD: We better. When ever someone says "I have an idea" in a movie, it ain't a good thing. Oh, no, wait. No time. He's back.

SCOOTER returns with a tray of popcorn.

SCOOTER: Who needs to ankle? We can raise the money and get bus tickets to New York. We could be there by tomorrow night in time for the concert!

FLOYD: (looking SCOOTER up and down) Man, how many times you gonna pull this schtick?

SCOOTER: It'll work! Trust me!

BEAN starts eating up all the popcorn.

SCOOTER: Hey, get out of there, Bean!

BEAN: Hey, I'm creating scarcity. Drives the prices up.

SCOOTER: Come on, it could work.

DR. TEETH: It could also fail miserably. Let's look at both sides o' the coin.

FLOYD: If only we still had our bus...

ALL: Yeah.

There is a few moments of silence, all are looking down, thinking.

SCOOTER: ... Er, what are we doing?

FLOYD: Reminiscing.

SCOOTER: Oh. Reminiscing?

FLOYD: Yeah, reminiscing.

SCOOTER: Oh... This one time, I put a wasps nest on my head and did the hokey-pokey.

FLOYD: ... What the heck was that?

SCOOTER: I was reminiscing.

FLOYD: We was reminicing about the bus!

SCOOTER: ... Oh.

BEAN: ... Did you really do that?

SCOOTER: Do what?

BEAN: Put a wasps nest on your head and do the hokey-pokey?

SCOOTER: Oh, yeah, sure.

BEAN: Really? Sounds dangerous.

SCOOTER: Aw, you're just a wimp.

BEAN: I am not a wimp!

SCOOTER: Sure, you're a wimp!

BEAN: ... Well, okay. That just means you have to learn to love me.

FLOYD: (aggrivated) Could we get a moment of silence for one of our fallen brothers, please?

SCOOTER: Oh, sure. Who fell?

ELECTRIC MAYHEM MEMBERS: The bus!!!

SCOOTER: Oh, right. Sorry.

BEAN: Sorry.

The two put their heads back down in silence.

BEAN: ... Ooh, hey, what's this?

BEAN bends down to pick something up.

BEAN: Hey! I found a money clip! There must be five-hundred bucks here!

DR. TEETH: All right!

FLOYD: New York City, here we come!!!

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 18

INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN

SCOOTER, BEAN, and the ELECTRIC MAYHEM enter the lobby.

SCOOTER: Wow! This is incredible!

FLOYD: Freak City!

SCOOTER: So, this is Freak City.

They all look at SCOOTER, confused, but shrug it off.

DR. TEETH: Well, we better see if we can get tickets.

SCOOTER: Tickets? You mean, we're not even going backstage?

FLOYD: Backstage? Ah, heh heh! This is the show of the century! We wouldn't miss this for nothin'.

SCOOTER: So we're just going to watch it?

FLOYD: Yeah, what'd you think we were playin' in it?

The ELECTRIC MAYHEM and BEAN walk off.

SCOOTER: Gee, I was just hopin' we'd at least get to go backstage.

SCOOTER overhears to people talking.

MAN#1: What are we going to do? What are we going to do?

MAN#2: What happened? What happened?

MAN#1: The Crows of Despair aren't here. They were supposed to be the band for our lead singer.

MAN#2: What?? The band's not here? Where are they??

MAN#1: The Crows of Despair are at a wedding.

MAN#2: No, no, no! What on earth will we ever do?

SCOOTER: *ahem!*

They turn to look at SCOOTER.

SCOOTER: Hi, there! I'm Scooter. I think I might be able to help you---

MAN#1: Get away from me, kid. You bother me.

SCOOTER: Look, I'm a representative of the hit band, The Electric Mayhem!

MAN#2: The Electric Mayhem? Who are they?

SCOOTER: Only the greatest band the Muppets ever produced! And they're here to play back-up for you guys!

MAN#2: Well, we do need a band...

INT. STAGE

SCOOTER, BEAN, and the ELECTRIC MAYHEM are all set up on stage.

FLOYD: Wow, man! How'd you get this gig?

SCOOTER: Turns out I'm a better road manager than I thought.

BEAN: Hey, who's playing this show, anyway?

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, please give a big round of applause for... Mr. Alice Cooper!!!!

ALICE COOPER enters with a SNAKE over his shoulders.

SCOOTER: Alice Cooper???

ALICE COOPER approaches the mic.

ALICE COOPER: Thanks, everyone! (to SNAKE) You can go, Sally.

SALLY THE SNAKE: Thank you, darling.

The SNAKE slithers off.

ALICE COOPER: Ladies and gentlemen in the audience, in honor of having the Muppets here with us tonight, I would like to play one of my favorite songs. I'm sure you know it, and if not, I'm sure you'll like it as much as I do.

ALICE COOPER pulls a banjo out from behind him, and starts to play...

ALICE COOPER:

(sung)

Why are there so many
Songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions,
But only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some chose to
Believe it
But I know they're wrong wait and see...

Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

(spoken) Come on, Scooter, join in.

ALICE COOPER AND SCOOTER:

Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it,
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing
That keeps us star gazing?
And what do we think we might see?

Someday we'll find it,
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me.

All of us under it's spell,
We know that it's probably magic!

Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called
The young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it,
It's something that I'm supposed to be.

Someday we'll find it,
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

The crowd goes wild.

ALICE COOPER: Thanks for singing that with me, Scooter.

SCOOTER: Wow! Hey, no problem! That was great! But... boy, I really do miis the Muppet Theater now.

FLOYD: You miss the Muppet Theater?

SCOOTER: I really do. I- I thought I'd like it out here. And, I mean, I did get to go after my dream. I just miss everyone at the theater.

DR. TEETH: Well, you're in luck! That's where we're heading next.

SCOOTER: Really? Ya mean it?

FLOYD: We goin' home, kid.

SCOOTER smiles.

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 19

INT. MUPPET THEATER - BACKSTAGE

There is a huge celebration as SCOOTER, BEAN, and the ELECTRIC MAYHEM return.

ALL: Welcome back!

ROWLF: We missed you 'round here!

GONZO: Good to see ya!

CLIFFORD: How's it hangin'?

RIZZO: Bring me back anything?

SCOOTER: Hello, everyone!

FOZZIE: Scooter!

FOZZIE hugs SCOOTER... a bit too tight.

FOZZIE: Oh, we missed you!

SCOOTER: Fozzie! ... I can't breath!

FOZZIE: Oh, sorry, Scooter.

FOZZIE lets him go.

KERMIT approaches.

KERMIT: Scooter! Where have you been? This place has been a wreck! The guest stars don't show up, the cast has no idea what's going on, and I haven't had my coffee yet!!!

Everyone is silent.

KERMIT: ... And it's good to see you back!

SCOOTER: Aw, thanks, boss.

KERMIT: Scooter... I... I know you wanna be a big music star and everything, but...

SCOOTER: Yeah, Kermit?

KERMIT: Would you mind doing us just one favor?

SCOOTER: Anything, chief!

KERMIT: Would you go up to the guest star's dressing room and tell him he's on next.

KERMIT exits.

SCOOTER: (content) Sure thing, boss.

INT. DRESSING ROOM

SCOOTER knocks on the door and enters. He looks around. No one is there.

SCOOTER: Hello? Hello, is anyone here? Did I get the wrong dressing room again.

KERMIT enters.

KERMIT: No, Scooter. This is the right dressing room.

SCOOTER: Boss, the dressing room's empty. There's no one here.

KERMIT: Of course there is, Scooter. You're here, aren't you?

SCOOTER: Me?

KERMIT: Scooter, it's been a rough couple of years.

SCOOTER: I've only been gone a week.

KERMIT: Er, yeah, well, you know what I mean. Anyway, it's just good to have you back, Scooter. I hear you've been to a lot of places since you were last here. People are looking at you like a star. Would you be our guest star tonight, Scooter?

SCOOTER: ... Me? The star?

SCENE 20

INT. MUPPET THEATER - STAGE

SCOOTER stands onstage along with the ELECTRIC MAYHEM playing an updated version of the song, Six String Orchestra.

SCOOTER:

(sung)

The very day I purchased it,
I christened my guitar
As my monophonic symphony,
Six-stringed orchestra.
In my room I practice late,
They leave me alone.
My mother said: "You're nothing yet
To make the folks write home."

And so I dream a bass will join me
And fill the bottom in.
And maybe now some lead guitar
So it would not sound so thin.
I need some drums to set the beat
And help me keep in time.
And way back in the distance,
A horn would sound so fine.

And we'd all play together
Like fine musicians should.
And it would sound like music,
And the music would sound good.
But in real life, I'm stuck with
That same old formula.
Me and my monophonic symphony,
Six-string orchestra!

I'm taking guitar lessons,
Though my teacher just took leave.
It was something about a break down,
Or needing a reprieve.
I know I'll find my future,
So I will persevere
And hold onto my dreams of making
Music to their ear.

And so I dream a bass will join me
And fill the bottom in.
And maybe now some lead guitar
So it would not sound so thin.
I need some drums to set the beat
And help me keep in time.
And way back in the distance,
Some horns would sound so fine.

And we'd all play together
Like fine musicians should.
And it would sound like music,
And the music would sound good.
But in real life, I'm stuck with
That same old formula.
Me and my monophonic symphony,
Six-string orchestra!

The crowd applaudes. KERMIT enters, as do a few other Muppets including SAM EAGLE.

KERMIT: That was great, Scooter!

SCOOTER: Thanks, boss.

SAM: I found that whole production to be a cheap and sad display. Very uncultured, and lacking in any form of true musical talent.

KERMIT: Aw, Sam, you're just an old stick in the mud.

SAM: I am not! Why, obviously you don't recall the great, wonderful production of A Salute to All Nation, But Mostly America.

BEAN pops up.

BEAN: That's it! That's the one I was waiting for! We did it!

SCOOTER: Did what, Bean?

BEAN: That was the reference I was waiting for! This movie now proudly contains references to The Muppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, The Muppets Take Manhattan, A Muppet Christmas Carol, Muppet Treasure Island, Muppets From Space, It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie, The Muppets Wizard of Oz, Kermit's Swamp Years, The Muppet Show, Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock, Muppets Tonight, The Muppets at Walt Disney World, and MuppetVision 3-D! (to audience) Can you find them all? Ha ha!

SCOOTER: What about the Jim Henson Hour?

BEAN: Aw, nuts! I wanted to include one from that, too.

KERMIT: Well, I don't know about you, but I could sure use a sweet vacation.

BEAN: There it is! The Jim Henson Hour! Yaaaaay!

KERMIT AND SCOOTER: Well, that's great!

KERMIT: Good night, folks, and we'll see you all next time on the Muppet Show!

SCOOTER: Bye!

They all celebrate.

EXT. DESERT - NIGHT

The BARENAKED LADIES stand outside, staring at their overturned van shaking their heads.

We pan across to reveal BOBO holding a picnic basket.

BOBO: Hey, when we get going, could we stop at a McDonald's? You guys are all out of food.

The BARENAKED LADIES turn to look at BOBO, angrily.

BOBO: What are you lookin' at me for?

THE END!

[ryhoyarbie]

Awwww, Kermit let Scooter be the guest star.

Nice story.:D :sing: :cool:

[Super Scooter]

thanks! ;) :)

[Super Scooter]

By the wa-ay, can anyone find all the references Bean's talking about?

Find all of them, and you win a fab... ulous prize!!!

... maybe.

[Barry Lee]

Wooohooo! Wonderful job! I seriously wanna see this movie now. Again, great job.

[sarah_yzma]

You threw the word Fab in there....trying to get me to do it.

Crap. Now I'm going to try.

[Super Scooter]

Fab is as fab does.

Gee, I was kinda hoping at least The Count would want to try and find all the references. :)

[sarah_yzma]

Ok...I've gotten everything but Christmas Carol, KSY, MTI, MWoO, Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock, and Muppets at WDW...

Ok I only got about half...but I'm so tired right now. Will try again later.

[Super Scooter]

He he, actually, Bean didn't point out all of 'em. :o Sooooo, there's actually a lot of them hidden completely!

[sarah_yzma]

Well the songs were easy enough, and I got references in action. I know I should really look over the individual lines, but my eyes are too tired, so I was just scanning.

[Super Scooter]

some of them you really have to look for. They're kinda random references.

(psst! I can give ya one if you want.)

[sarah_yzma]

I always do take hints :D

I think I found Muppets tonight....because I bet it's a situational thing....if it's an individual line I'm in trouble, because I've never seen any of them!

[Super Scooter]

I always do take hints :D


actually, I was just gonna give you the line, if you wanted.

I think I found Muppets tonight....because I bet it's a situational thing....if it's an individual line I'm in trouble, because I've never seen any of them!
If you're thinking the Seymour and Pepe bit, it's actually both. The song is directly from Muppets Tonight (obviously), but the joke is just extended from MT.

[sarah_yzma]

Actually I was going toward the Johnny Cannoli's thing. It seemed kinda MT-ish.

Hehe :D

[Super Scooter]

Actually I was going toward the Johnny Cannoli's thing. It seemed kinda MT-ish.

Hehe :D
well, that's sorta, kinda, very loosely based on Johnny's Ma's sauce, but not really.

[ryhoyarbie]

I find it funny that 1.) Piggy is nowhere to be seen in the last part of your story (like I care for Miss Piggy) 2.) Clifford shows up at the end and had one line!

[Super Scooter]

I find it funny that 1.) Piggy is nowhere to be seen in the last part of your story (like I care for Miss Piggy) 2.) Clifford shows up at the end and had one line!
Well, I do like Miss Piggy, I just try not to write for characters if I don't know how to write for them.

And Clifford... well, I thought Kevin oughta have something to do.;)

[Super Scooter]

MAN#1: The Crows of Despair aren't here. They were supposed to be the band for our lead singer.

MAN#2: What?? The band's not here? Where are they??

MAN#1: The Crows of Despair are at a wedding. <--- Can you guess where this line is from?