Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[Erine81981]

Sorry guys that i wasn't around this weekend much.

Grover: It is alright.

Herry: We all know that you wanted to go Lubbock with your sister, necies and brother-in-law.

Murray: But you did get to come to the awards later on that night after getting back.

Bruce: And you won an award too.

Herry: *looks at Bruce*

Bruce: What? Can't i be caring too?

Herry: The point is we love you know you have others to care about too.

Murray: And you want to play with them too.

Oh guys. *tear drops from my eye* Your the greatest friends i've ever had. *hugs them*

Grover: Sorry i just was not around for most of the awards. That Ryan sure makes an adventure pretty wild. Oh yea. That reminds me. I need to give Gonzo back his jetpack. Be back. *heads out the door with the jetpack*

[Beakerfan]

Why...yes, Alex, I do believe fpoon is much more fun to say than spork, now that you mention it...

Hang on, I must give it the ultimate test...

(stands and poses dramatically, as if he is about to give the Shakesperean performance of his life; after a few beats, he speaks, in a Laurence Olivier-style voice)

Fpoon...Fpoon...Fpoon...
O mighty Fpoon,
Why do ye mock thee?
A Fpoon, a Fpoon,
My kingdom for a Fpoon!
A Fpoon by any other name
Would smell as sweet!
O Fpoon, where is thy sting?
And thus with a Fpoon, I die!

(holds dramatic pose for a few seconds, then breaks out of it)

Right. Works for me!

*falls over in a fit of giggles*

[Winslow Leach]

*Hearing Tony... So you're a coward for not fpooning your own life. There! That's all you had to say.
At least now I know what to get ya for yer birthday... The next release in the superlong solliloquy pull-string doll er, action figure line.

Yes, Uncle Count, I wanna Hamlet action figure with a really long string, that soliloquizes on and on and on...

Oh, and I've also changed my name to Htony. The "H" is silent.

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
But then that would make me your aunt, Tony.
-Blinks-
Cause Eddie there is my cyber bro. O_o
Woah.

[Winslow Leach]

*falls over in a fit of giggles*

(trying to keep a straight face)

What? Why are you laughing? I don't know if...(gigglesnort) if you're laughing at me, or with me, but...what's so...

(bursts out laughing)

[The Count]

Yeah well... I changed my name to... *Can't finish the joke here on MC, but Htony knows what it is.

[Winslow Leach]

Yeah well... I changed my name to... *Can't finish the joke here on MC, but Htony knows what it is.

Righto!

BTW...that's not very nice!

LOL!;) :D

[The Count]

And what a great crazy aunt she can be. If only she'd read us more of either that pirate story or the one about a dark Wonderland...

[Winslow Leach]

Claudia:
But then that would make me your aunt, Tony.
-Blinks-
Cause Eddie there is my cyber bro. O_o
Woah.

Whoa...that's pretty deep, Squeekee!;)

[The Count]

Yeah well... Better that than making you smash yourself with a clown mallet to try to convince yourself this isn't all just some giant farse of a dream-reality.

[Winslow Leach]

Yeah well... Better that than making you smash yourself with a clown mallet to try to convince yourself this isn't all just some giant farse of a dream-reality.

'Tis very true...it still smarts!

[The Count]

Yeah... Only Christy B's missing to complete this cyber-sibling trio. So Tony... Did we ever find out which USS Enterprise captain is better? Did we learn if that last die was indeed the acid drop? Did Petey the Plane survive? And what about the skydiving grandmas? We will try to kill you with a forklift! We will, we will Rozdower you! Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots nooooo! Pizza pizza this!
*Explodes and faints in an MST3k reverie.

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
(Picks up Eddie's remains)
Off to the hospital you go!

[Winslow Leach]

Yeah... Only Christy B's missing to complete this cyber-sibling trio. So Tony... Did we ever find out which USS Enterprise captain is better? Did we learn if that last die was indeed the acid drop? Did Petey the Plane survive? And what about the skydiving grandmas? We will try to kill you with a forklift! We will, we will Rozdower you! Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots nooooo! Pizza pizza this!
*Explodes and faints in an MST3k reverie.

OVERLOAD!

AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!

Only Richard Basehart can save us!

[Beakerfan]

*picks self up off the floor* Well, this is.... interesting. And quite entertaining.

[The Count]

*To Tony: We're in it now... Up to our necks. Go ahead, noone will mind if you play a little Super Mario Bros. 3.
*To Alex: Make sure... He doesn't leave you for... Some hidious leech woman.
*To Claudia: Please.. Be careful... And be gentle. Me no wanna be Frankenmonsta like Beakie...*Passes out as an eighteen karat cannon salute sounds in the background.

[Winslow Leach]

Tony (as Curly) Ooooh! She's enter-tayneed!

Moe: Quiet you! (pokes Tony in the eyes)

Larry laughs.

Moe: Shaddap, ya half-cousin to a weasel! (slaps Larry in the face)

Tony: Oooh! Wise guy...

Moe: I said quiet!

(Moe grabs a pair of pliers, and squeezes Tony's nose)

Larry: Leave him alone!

Moe: Shaddap, porcupine! (yanks a tuft of Larry's hair)

[The Count]

Heh... Tony must be in some VR machine.

*To Claudia: Drop me in the Lazarus Chamber... It will restore me to my full power.

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Yes, sir!
(Goes over to the Lazaraus Chamber)
Odd place.
Here you go!
(Places him gently on the floor)
You should be careful the next time you intend to explode.
Leave it to the experts.
(Looks on egoistically)
x)

[Beakerfan]

*still sitting on Tony's bed, eagerly watching the antics* Wow....

[Beakerfan]

Sweetums: Alex, it's getting late... you should come to bed.

Alex: Oh, it's allright. I'll stay a little longer. Make sure Bean gets to bed, ok?

Sweetums: Ok. Don't be too late.

Alex: Yes, mom.

Sweetums: *closes the door and puts Bean to bed*

Alex: This sure is entertaining.... I wonder when Lefty, Newsie, and Harry are going to get back. They've been gone an awful..... long....... tiiiiime...... *falls asleep*

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
(Sleeping over his writing desk)

Dr. Van Neuter:
(Sleeping on a flammable machine)

Beaker:
(Sleeping on a cot where he was supposed to go through surgery)

Claudia:
This is really weird.
(Blinks)

[The Count]

*Today... Recomposed and re-empowered... Thank you Clauds. Now then, off to the reading room to see what's been posted there.
*Gets bowl of cereal and reads while having his usual breakfast.

[Winslow Leach]

Alex: This sure is entertaining.... I wonder when Lefty, Newsie, and Harry are going to get back. They've been gone an awful..... long....... tiiiiime...... *falls asleep*

Tony opens his eyes and yawns. He feels something snuggled against him. He looks, and sees Alex, her head resting on his chest. Tony carefully puts his arm around her, and gently strokes her back. He closes his eyes, totally at peace.

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Bunnie, what happened to you?
You've got a bit of a bruise there.

Bunsen:
Well, Claudia, I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Beaker:
(Snickers)

Claudia:
Oh stop with the puns, Bunnie.

Bunsen:
Honest, I am teling you the truth!
It's just as factual as
not brushing your teeth for ten years...
You'd get quite a....tooth decade!

Claudia:
(Rolls eyes)
What were you doing?

Bunsen:
Running some processes.
That's all.

Dr. Van Neuter:
And for the first time, Beaker was unharmed!

Bunsen:
Oh goodness!
Strange to see him back in one piece!

Beaker:
(Half of his body falls to the side)

Dr. Van Neuter:
HAH!
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now

Bunsen:
Tsstsstsst!

Claudia:
(Sews Beaker together)
You guys.
(Shakes head)

[The Count]

Mmm... Looks like Aunt Ru might have someone to get the pun police off of her trail if Clauds' roomies keep going like that.

[Winslow Leach]

Tony carries two tables into his room and sets them down. He puts a tablecloth on it, then places two candles atop. He lights each one. He carries two chairs in, and sets them.

Gee, Alex, you seem to like my room. It's like you've been here all day! The food should be here any minute now. Just relax until it arrives.

Lefty and Newsie enter.

Lefty: What's dis?

Newsie: Looks like we're just in time for dinner! Yummy!

Tony: Out.

Lefty: Huh?

Tony: Out.

Newsie: This is our room too, you know!

Lefty: Yeah, ya can't just trow us out like old, raggedy puppets!

Tony: Guys, I'm entertaining Alex tonight.

Newsie: Too bad. There is no way you'll get us to leave this room tonight. Right, Lefty?

Lefty: Dat's right! Dere is no way we're gonna leave dis room!

Tony reaches into his pocket, and hands Newsie a $50 bill.

Tony: Here...why don't you two go out to dinner?

Newsie (as Tony hands him the money) Well, I suppose we could--(in a flash, the money disappears, seemingly into thin air) What the...?

Lefty (holding the money) My precious...

Newsie: Lefty, where did that money go?

Lefty (pocketing the money) What money?

Newsie: Lefty, Tony just gave us a $50 bill. Now cough it up!

Lefty coughs...nothing comes up.

Lefty: See? I told ya I don't have nothin'!

Newsie puts a hand around Lefty's throat, and starts shaking him.

Newsie: You listen to me, you little sneak thief, either you hand over that money, or I'll...

Lefty: All right, all right...keep yer shoit on! (Lefty holds out the money; Newsie takes one end, but Lefty still holds the other) Geez, I was gonna split it wit ya! Why do ya always tink I'm some lowlife teef?

Newsie: Let go!

Lefty: What?

Newsie: Let go!

Lefty: N'uh-uh! Dis is my half!

Newsie: Oh, for pete's sake! Look, just give me the--

Lefty: NO!

Newsie: Blaaargh!

Lefty and Newsie walk out of the room, both tugging their end of the $50 bill.

Tony: Hey Abbott and Costello, don't forget the third stooge!

Tony wheels the cot, on which Crazy Harry is still straightjacketed and gagged, into the hallway, and pushes it in his roomies' direction.

Tony: Sorry about that. Anyway. Feel free to visit anytime. This room is your room. By the way, I slept wonderfully last night! It was very comfortable!

[Winslow Leach]

A knock on the door. Tony answers. It is a Muppet Caterer, and he pushes two carts into the room.

Tony: Thank you, sir. I'll take it from here.

(hands the caterer a tip; caterer exits)

Tony: Okay! We have New England clam chowder...lobster tails...crab legs...assorted clams...some nice fillet of sole...and a bottle of bubbly!

(picks up what looks like a champagne bottle)

Carbonated Welch's grape juice...vintage 2008!

(Tony holds out a chair for Alex; when she sits, he begins serving the food, starting with the chowder)

[Beakerfan]

Alex: Wow! This looks wonderful! You know, I've never had lobster before... or crab, for that matter! *neatly places a napkin on her lap and waits for Tony to finish serving*

[Winslow Leach]

OOC: Oops! Sorry! I didn't mean to post this four times...gosh, I'm so embarrassed!:o

The submit reply thingy was acting stubborn, and I clicked on it a few times, so...ended up with...er...yeah...anywhoozils...

[Winslow Leach]

Alex: Wow! This looks wonderful! You know, I've never had lobster before... or crab, for that matter! *neatly places a napkin on her lap and waits for Tony to finish serving*

Well, if you've never had lobster or crab, sweetie, you are in for a treat!

Tony pours Alex a glass of grape juice.

Here ya go! Sometimes the bubbles tickle my nose...

Tony ladels a bowl of chowder for Alex, and sets it in front of her.

New England clam chowder. Yummy!

Tony serves himself a bowl, and sits opposite Alex.

So, this is nice. I hope you like it!

[Beakerfan]

*waits for Tony to start eating, then picks up her spoon and begins eating her soup* This is delicious! Who catered?

[Winslow Leach]

*waits for Tony to start eating, then picks up her spoon and begins eating her soup* This is delicious! Who catered?

Aw, you didn't have to wait for me, Alex. It's my pleasure serving you. Oh, this came from See Food Catering. Their motto is, "We see food, you eat it."

[Beakerfan]

Sorry... I can't help it, really. My grandmother taugh etiquette at a finishing school, so it just comes natural, I guess.

[Winslow Leach]

Sorry... I can't help it, really. My grandmother taugh etiquette at a finishing school, so it just comes natural, I guess.

Yes, I remember you telling me. Anyway, you were really tired last night. You completely crashed! I guess my antics have that effect on people...

[Erine81981]

*listening to the MuppetCast Awards show* This is one funny awards show ever. Loving every bit of it. *the show goes on*

Herry: Hey Kyle! *slaps on the back*

*coughs* *sarcastically* Thanks. I needed that. *pauses the show* So what do you need?

Herry: Nothing.

What? You interrupted me for that?

Herry: No. I didn't interrupted you.

Yes you did!

Herry: Sorry. Didn't know that did that.

It's ok. Wanna listen with me?

Herry: Sure. *sits down beside me*

[Beakerfan]

Yeah... I'm surprised I slept at all! I keep having dreams about people dying, then I wake up and panic that so-and-so might have just died, or they died earlier that day or something. I think it helped being away from it all....

[Winslow Leach]

Awww...I know how you feel, sweetie. But I was holding you. I hope you felt a little peaceful...

[Beakerfan]

Awww...I know how you feel, sweetie. But I was holding you. I hope you felt a little peaceful...

I did. I actually slept pretty sound....

[Winslow Leach]

I did. I actually slept pretty sound....

I'm so glad! You looked very peaceful and secure.

So, what would you like for the next course? It's up to you!

[Beakerfan]

Hmm.... *ponders a moment* I'd like to try the lobster.

[Winslow Leach]

Lobster coming right up!

Tony removes the chowder dishes, and takes two plates from the cart. He puts two lobster tails on each plate, handing one to Alex, and putting one in his place. He hands her a nutcracker, to help break the tails, then sits and puts the napkin on his lap.

Lobster is one of my favorite foods. The tails are the best, because they have the most meat. Oh. Here's some melted butter, in case you want to dip your lobster in it.

[Katzi428]

Prairie:I'm happy that Alex and Tony are together.
Yeah...me too.:)
Prairie:They're having a romantic dinner tonight.Think they need some romantic piano music playing in the background?;)
I know what you're getting at.And your intentions are good.But just let them be alone,OK?
Prairie: Darn!

[Winslow Leach]

(hears Kathy and Prairie)

Good idea, thanks, girls!

Alex, would you like to hear some music with dinner? I have quite an extensive CD collection here...most are mine, but a few Lefty "picked up." Not sure what he meant exactly...anyway, you name it, I probably have it!

[Beakerfan]

Ooh, do you have anything by Andrea Bocceli?

[Winslow Leach]

I do!

(Tony gets up and goes through CDs)

I have his Amore album here...he sings a version of Elvis's "Can't Help Falling in Love."

(Tony puts on CD)

What would you like next?

[Beakerfan]

Gee... I dunno, really.... you pick!

[Winslow Leach]

Okay...

(Tony clears the lobster plates and goes to cart; he fills Alex's plate with assorted clams, shrimp and a piece of sole. He puts the plate in front of her, then makes his own dish)

Enjoy!

[Winslow Leach]

So I'm really glad I joined these dorms. I'm having a lot of fun, and have met a lot of great people...and Muppets. I'm very happy to be here!

[Beakerfan]

That's great Tony! I'm glad you joined!

[Winslow Leach]

Oh, we can't forget...

Tony gets up, gets another plate, and puts several crab legs on it. He puts it in front of Alex, then makes a dish for himself. He sits, and puts the napkin on his lap.

Are you enjoying yourself?

[Beakerfan]

Oh, you bet I am! This beats doing homework any day! (which I'm supposed to be doing right now.... *groans*)

[Winslow Leach]

Tony stifles a giggle into his napkin.

I'm sorry, sweetie...that was just funny! I agree with you: this does beat doing homework!

I'm glad I was able to get the three stooges out of here. Lefty would have tried to sell you something useless, Newsie would have talked your ear off about talking bowling balls or something, and Crazy Harry...well, it's best not to think about Crazy Harry...(shudders)

But I'm happy that you're happy!

[Beakerfan]

*giggles* I think I could handle them... I did work at a preschool for 3 years. And I've had to deal with Animal in the past....

[Winslow Leach]

That is true! Oh!

Tony refills Alex's glass, and refills his own. He raises his glass in a toast.

Happy 19th day of the month! (winks)

[Beakerfan]

*raises her glass in concurrence, returning the wink*

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:

[Turns to her cookie]
Now why did you have to go?
As I lay here in the black,
Taking the one way street,
Never once looking back.

I must follow that easy flow-o-o.
Like that cute little duck from aflack.
I'm gonna be free and I
promise you, your gonna need some minty tic-tac.

CAUSE YOU HAVE SUCH TERRIBLE...
[Chorus behind her]
HYGIENEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
[Pets her Alan Rickman photo]
It's ok.
It's ok.

Dr. Van Neuter:
What's going on with her now?

Bunsen:
She's attempting terrible lyrics...
so, I'm guessing she is sick.

Singing to a picture of Alan Rickman...

Dr. Van Neuter:
Oh, just brilliant.

Beaker:
Meep.

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *hearing bits and pieces of the conversation in Claudia's room* ALAN RICKMAN? Where? Ohmygosh ohmygosh! Why didn't she tell me he was here? Why didn't she tell me she knows...... *GASP* She was gonna keep him for herself! Why that no good...

Sweetums: Alex. Calm Down! I don't think Alan Rickman is visiting Claudia. And she would've mentioned it if he was. You can go look, but calm down first.

Alex: Okaaaay..... *regains her composure and goes to Claudia's room*

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
(Hears Alex)
You can't have him! :3
He's MINE!
(Snugs her picture, having overheard Alex)

Bunsen:
Claudia, don't be si-

Claudia:
Alan Rickman!

Bunsen:
Cl-

Claudia:
Shhh.

Bunsen:
Clau-

Claudia:
Shh. x3

[Winslow Leach]

The room is cleared of all food, furniture, etc. from the night before.

Lefty: So where'd she go again?

Tony: Something about Alan Rickman and Claudia...I'm not sure...it happened so fast.

Lefty: Ah. So she dropped ya fer this Rickman guy, huh?

Tony: What? No! No.

Lefty: Dat's what it sounds like ta me.

Tony: Hey, where's Crazy Harry?

Lefty: I taught he came back here.

Tony: I haven't seen him all night...

Lefty: Huh. Well, ya know how ya had 'im tied down on his cot an' put in a straightjacket, on account 'a he bit da Newsman?

Tony: Yeah.

Lefty: An' den last night ya shoved his cot into da hall after us?

Tony: Yeah.

Lefty: Well, da cot ended up hittin' me from behind. I toined, and saw Crazy Harry dere, all tied up wit a gag in his mout. So I says to 'im, "ey, Crazy Harry...I'll let ya loose, only if ya promise ta go straight back to da dorms and be a good little boy." He nodded, so I let him go!

Tony: You fool! Do you realize that maniac is running around loose on account of you?

Lefty: Hey, I had more tings on my mind...I still had one hand attached to dat fifty-dollar bill.

Tony: Where's the Newsman?

Lefty: How in da name of Moygatroyd should I know?

Tony: Lefty! Harry's gonna get revenge on Newsie, for having him tied up!

Lefty (shrugs) Meh.

Tony: This is terrible!

Lefty: Naw it ain't! I got da whole $50 from 'im!

Tony: Lefty, the only way Newsie would give you that money would be if...oh my gosh!

Lefty: I blew da whole fifty at a carnival. Da Newsman wasn't dere, so I figured he'd want me ta have it all! I had a lotta fun! I rode da flyin' horsies tree times, I ate cotton candy an' a bunch of hot dogs...den I went on a roller coaster, which wasn't such a good idea, 'cause my tummy was gettin' upset, an' I almost got sick. Den I played a few games of chance, but I lost 'em all! Kin you believe it? Me? Losin' a game of--

Tony heads for the door, about to go searching for the Newsman. When he opens it, Crazy Harry is standing there, carrying the limp body of the Newsman in his arms. The Newsman looks worse for wear.

Newsman: Ungghhh...

Crazy Harry laughs, and drops the Newsman on the floor. Tony grabs him and goes out into the hall, where the cot is waiting, from the night before. With one hand, he wheels the cot into the room, and with the other, he holds Crazy Harry by the collar.

Lefty: Dis guy looks like he fell off a truck!

Tony holds Crazy Harry down, and wraps him in his straightjacket again.

Crazy Harry: Hey, you can't do this to me, who do you think you are--

Tony stuffs a gag into Harry's mouth. He picks up Newsie, and gently places him on his (Newsie's) bed.

Tony: What happened?

Newsman (weakly) As...soon as that crum bum over there let Harry loose...he grabbed me, and dragged me out of the dorms...

Lefty: Yeah, and dat's when he dropped da $50 bill. I taught he was givin' it ta me, 'cause he figured I was a swell guy...

Newsman: And...and...he didn't let go of me all night...he kept tossing me in the air, like a rag doll...up and down, up and down...he thought it was funny...all I could hear was his laughing...he just kept tossing me in the air, over and over and over...I feel sooooo sick!

Lefty: Ya don't look too good either!

Tony: Lefty!

Newsman: Unnnnghhhh...up and down, up and down...

Lefty: Hey, I went up and down, up and down too last night! Yeah! I went on da flyin' horsies, and dey went up an' down, up an' down! Den I went on da roller coaster, and we went whoooosh! Up an' down, up an' down!

Newsman: Blaaarrggh!

Tony: Lefty! You're not helping!

Newsman: So dizzy...so dizzy...

Lefty: Heh heh heh.

Newsman: How did your date go?

Tony: It went really well. We both enjoyed ourselves immensely.

Newsman: That's...wonderful...

Lefty: Dis guy looks like he's ready ta join the choir invisible!

Newsman: Do you...do you think I'll ever be able to play the piano again, Tony?

Tony: Sure you will, Newsie! Of course you will!

Newsman: Great! Because...I've never actually played the piano before...

Lefty: Is dis guy serious? Dat joke is so old, it's got whiskers!

Tony: Lefty, why don't you go out and try selling someone an invisible lollipop?

Lefty: I can't! I'm fresh out!

[BEAR]

Cookie: Yoohoo! Mr. Tony! Mr. Tony! Oh, there you are! So, where dinner?

[BeakerSqueedom]

Beaker:
(Enters Tony's room having heard a little dinner was being served)

Mee mee mee mee.
Meee meee meeeeee?

Bunsen:
Oh, I'd be delighted to join, too!
What are we having?
If you don't mind me asking...

Dr. Van Neuter:
Oh! Party at Tony's!

Bunsen:
How very daring, Phillip!

Dr. Van Neuter:
I know!

Bunsen:
Salutations, Mr. Cookie Monster!

[Winslow Leach]

Oh hey, Cookie! I didn't forget about you, bud!

(watching as the three scientists hurriedly set up a table and chairs)

Um...do you mind if Bunsen, Beaker and Phil join us? I had no idea they were planning to...er...visit...

Don't worry, though. I have plenty of food, so...make yourself comfortable, Cookie, and I'll bring it in.

(Tony goes out into hallway, to meet caterer. Lefty is out somewhere. The Newsman is in bed, recouperating, and Harry is still tied to his cot)

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Storyteller: So, Nora, what do you think of that story that Claudia's got you in?
Nora: Oh, I like it - it's really nice and creepy, dark side of innocence and all that. Mrs. Farley would love it.
Storyteller: And that picture she drew of you...
Nora: Yeah, I look like Linda Ronstadt in that picture. (glances over at Erin) What are you working on this week, Erin?
Erin: (hammering at keyboard) Last week it was the flu, this week it's a proposal to start a student EMT service.
Storyteller: (rubbing forehead) I've got a song stuck in my head.
Erin: Which one?
Storyteller: The one you just had on the radio. The one about microchips, test tubes and weird science.

(Scooter and Beige suddenly walk in)

Beige: (singing) Weird science...plastic tubes and pots and pans, bits and pieces and magic from the hand we're making...
Scooter: (singing) Weird science...things I've never seen before, behind bolted doors, talent and imagination...

Storyteller: Stop! Stop! (the two boys leave the room)
Nora: My twin siblings love that song. They always sing it right before they get ready to blow up the basement or something with their latest science project.
Erin: Oh, yeah...what was it last week, the vinegar and baking soda replica of a Scud missile?

Scooter and Beige: (singing) From my heart and from my hand, why don't people understand - my intentions...
Storyteller: Out! Out!

[Winslow Leach]

Tony (to the scientists) Um, well guys, since you've invited yourselves...I was wondering if you have any food to bring. I have more than enough here...(rolls catering cart into room) But I ordered it with Cookie Monster in mind...

So, here we have cookie burgers...cookie hot dogs...cookie salad...soft-boiled cookies, with glasses of cookie juice on the side...and for dessert...yep, you guessed it...cookies! Oh, and I also got some cookies and cream ice cream, for a little variety.

[BeakerSqueedom]

Dr. Van Neuter:
I'm allergic to nuts, Bunsen.

Bunsen:
I doubt they have nuts in there, Phillip!
Mmm, Mr. Tony, I do have a little something for all of us to nibble on.

Beaker:
(Looks to him warningly)

Bunsen:
Oh, cut it out, Beakie!
I'm sure it'll be an experience they shan't forget.
A delicious little snack that won't hurt at all!
Much to my surprise.

Beaker:
(Looks back to the oblivious Tony)
(Glances at Bunsen again, this time with pleadful eyes)

Bunsen:
(Smiles a little; having no eyes, it's difficult to really tell what are his intentions)
Won't be long now!
(Prances to his room to fetch a little snack for the group)

---

Claudia:
(Tied up)
MMMFFF?
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!
REGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Bunsen:
Thank you!
Don't mind if I do!
(Grabs cottage cheese covered crackers in a red plate, enough for the group to eat)

Claudia:
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
FEEPFEAD!

Bunsen:
Hmmm....hmmm...hmmm!
(Hums giddily)

Claudia:
(Rolls eyes)
Leaffeeafeece!

[A lock on the door is heard]
---

[Returning to Tony's room]

Bunsen:
Hope you enjoy.
Claudia made it herself!

Beaker:
(Looks to his knees)

Dr. Van Neuter:
Wow!
That's really nice of her!
First time she does something useful!

Bunsen:
Indeed.
Why not dig in?

Dr. Van Neuter:
Don't mind if I do!

[The Count]

*From downstairs... Don't make me blast your TV again Claudia!
*Settles down to read her thrilling Nora in Wonderland fictional romp.

[Winslow Leach]

Hey, welcome back, Bunsen, we were just about to...

(looks at Bunsen's offering)

Cottage cheese and crackers? Great. I went from seafood to cottage cheese.

Lefty enters and slams the door behind him, panting.

Lefty: Some crazy old farmer trew a watermelon at me!

Tony: Huh?

Lefty: SHHHHHHHHHHHHH! He might be out in da hall lookin' fer me...he saw me run in here!

Tony: Why would a farmer...never mind.

Lefty: I was tryin' to get some carrots from his garden...ya know, fer my boss's bunny rabbit? All of a sudden, I hear dis shout...an' da next ting I know dis farmer what looks like Mr. McGregor from da Peter Rabbit books is hurlin' a giant watermelon at my skull! Well, I ran, an' when I looked back, he was still chasin' me...wit two giant watermelons under each arm! (shivers)

Tony: Well, you're just in time for dinner. I ordered a special meal for Cookie, and...Bunsen brought some cottage cheese.

Lefty (does a quadruple-take; his fear immediately vanishes) Cottage cheese? I love cottage cheese! My mudder usta make me cottage cheese every afternoon when I came home from ditchin' school...riiiiight....riiiiight!

Lefty pulls up a chair and sits.

Lefty: You said da melon head made dis?

Tony: Dr. Honeydew, yes.

Lefty: Riiiiight, riiiiiiight! Gimme gimme gimme gimme!

Bunsen hands the cottage cheese plate to Tony. Tony takes some, then passes it to Beaker, Phil and Lefty. Lefty takes the most, and stuffs his face.

Lefty (mouth full) DisisdamostdelishtingIeverate!

Tony: What?

Lefty (swallows) I said dis is da most delicious ting I ever ate!

Lefty takes more cottage cheese and crackers, and wolfs them down.

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
Thank you all for having volunteered in making this exciting test work.

Hit it, Beakie!

Beaker:
(Nods)
Mee mee!
(Presses the button)

Bunsen:
Thank you for activating my newest unnamed device!
Pay attention closely.

All who have ate the cheese will suffer a bit of a shock.
Afterwards, you will experience a shift in view---a different personality.

Contrary to who you are.
Opposites!

Ohohoho!
I'm filled with maniacal glee, I tell you!

Beaker:
(Laughs weakly)

Dr. Van Neuter:
Why, you little...
Oh! Ouch! Like, what was that?

(Giggles)
Wow, Beaker, you're so sweet.
I never told you this.
Hahaha!

You know, I love Mulch...
He's so huggable and stuff.

Love, love, love!
All over the world!
No sadness!
Leeeddaaaa!
(Birds flutter about, singing a song)

---

Claudia:
(Chews up her tape and spits it out)
(Screeches at the condition of her T.V)
Eddie, you broke my T.V!
You owe me!

I paid so much money, man!

---

Dr. Van Neuter:
I'm sure the nice man will pay for it, Claudia!
Right, Eddie?
If not, I'm gonna have to tickle you!

Bunsen and Beaker:
(Grin maliciously at their work)

[Winslow Leach]

Opposites?

(turns to imaginary camera, a shocked look on his face...very dramatic)

We've been duped!

POOF!

Tony immediately turns into a goth. Very pale skin...long, black, unkempt hair...black clothing from head to toe...pierced ears with earrings...

Man...what are all these people doing in my room...? I need some alone time...like for the rest of the century! So much pain...hurt...

(takes paper out of pocket and reads, to no one in particular)

What if the moon stopped shining
And fish started to walk the earth,
With little fishy legs?

I'd think, "man, look at those fish,
With their little fishy legs,
I wonder if they'll get varicose veins?"

Ice cream socials are futile,
The turkeys left the barn,
And hyenas run the zoo.

Oh, to be a newt,
Or a wildebeast,
Or a gazelle.

My head is running amuck,
Who let the dogs out,
Who, who, who, who, who?

Who let the dogs out,
Who, who, who, who, who?
Was it You?

Purple chipmunks fly by my window,
Screaming my name over and over.
I must do something about that.

If hot dogs ruled the earth,
Would that make us all...
Hot dog rolls?

This mental floss is killing me,
Brain hurting, slippin' and slidin'
In my cranium.

I like to eat Shake & Bake
Right from the box
I'm like that.

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *opens the trapdoor and looks into Tony's room* Oh my gosh! I didn't realize they had company... that must be one of... well, I dunno really. Who is that guy? Looks like he could use a little cheering up.... ooh! FOOD! *begins helping herself to the cottage cheese and crackers*

[The Count]

*From downstairs... Your TV's fine Clauds. Just keep away from that rot unfit for any self-true Muppet fan.
*Plots fanfickery, even if it's just a few chapters at this point.

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Scooter: Wonder if Ed's going to make her put in a V-chip?
Erin: Why bother, it just takes a pair of pliers to get around those things.
Nora: Don't give Caitlin and Stuart any ideas; Dad says that putting parental controls on the tube is enough of a headache.
Beige: I'll bet what had Ed upset was that Meet the Feebles flick or whatever.
Storyteller: Now, Beige, we agreed not to mention that...is there any hazelnut swirl ice cream left?

[The Count]

Nah... I don't believe in V-chips. Unless they're V for vinegar chips... Bunsen could probably make some, quite similar to the edible paperclips. And it was a means of torture inflicted on Claudia the kind that shall go unmentioned here at MC, though the Whoopi Goldberg film's titular hue should give you a clue as to what it was that upset me.

Now then, off to bed where I hope our dreams will be pleasant ones, though I can never tell for certain.
*Dreams of the four dead dolls part of the lineup.

[Beakerfan]

Something is astir in room 24..... a loud thudding can be heard due to Sweetums running about the room.

Sweetums: Bean! Keep the blinds closed!

Bean: Yessir! *attempting to close the blinds, which are too heavy for him to pull shut*

Sweetums: Search everywhere. There's gotta be something close by! It probably fell on the floor by her bed....

Alex slowly moves toward the window, minus her trademark silver charms.

Alex: *in shriek-ish tones* Leave it open! I want to feel the light on my skin....

Sweetums: *runs to block the window* Alex, no! Don't do this....

Bean: *frightened* Isn't there an eclipse tonight?

Sweetums: *nervously* Yeah, but it's over now.....

With an un-natural strength, Alex shoves Sweetums out of the way and begins to soak in the moonlight. Her loud cackles ring through the night as she slowly begins to change shape....

[BEAR]

Tony (to the scientists) Um, well guys, since you've invited yourselves...I was wondering if you have any food to bring. I have more than enough here...(rolls catering cart into room) But I ordered it with Cookie Monster in mind...

So, here we have cookie burgers...cookie hot dogs...cookie salad...soft-boiled cookies, with glasses of cookie juice on the side...and for dessert...yep, you guessed it...cookies! Oh, and I also got some cookies and cream ice cream, for a little variety.


(Cookie Monster may be considered speechless for the first time) This all for me? Cookie Monster? (He hardly knows what to do with himself...) Me no know what to say... but...COWABUNGA! (Dives right in)

[BEAR]

Cookie: (only half noticing how strange people are acting in Tony's room finishes up every last crumb of the cookie feast) Mmmm that best meal me ever ate. It like a Cookie Monster Thanksgiving. (gestures up to the heavens) Thank you! (sees cottage cheese and crackers on tray) Hmm...what this little morsel? (sniffs it and pops one into his mouth)

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Oh, Erin it was just a childhood character.
Because I mentioned purple and stuff.
Nothing of THAT show...I would not DARE!
Me...fe....-dies-
Anyway, you did say you blasted my T.V.
That's why I understood wrongly.

COOL!
Another show is on.
(Forces her way to get the control)
What to watch, what to watch.

---

Bunsen:
Glad you enjoyed your cookies, Mr. Cookie Monster!

Dr. Van Neuter:
I SING A HAPPY SOOOOONNGG!

[The Count]

Is sokay. Just update yer stories when you can please. Happen to find those quite enjoyable.

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Certainly, mate!
Updatin' the story tonight it seems!
After I be gettin' these classes over it.

[Beakerfan]

A large hole has been torn through the door of room 24. Sweetums and Bean come running out, carrying silver shackles and large nets.

Bean: Which way did she go?

Sweetums: I dunno... you go that way, I'll go this way!

Bean: Ok! *they both run and crash into each other, then pick themselves up and run opposite directions*

[Winslow Leach]

Cookie: (only half noticing how strange people are acting in Tony's room finishes up every last crumb of the cookie feast) Mmmm that best meal me ever ate. It like a Cookie Monster Thanksgiving. (gestures up to the heavens) Thank you! (sees cottage cheese and crackers on tray) Hmm...what this little morsel? (sniffs it and pops one into his mouth)

Suddenly reverts back to his normal self, as he sees Cookie with the cottage cheese.

Tony: COOKIE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Winslow Leach]

POOF!

Tony turns back into a goth. This time, the transformation is more severe: he is even moodier, wears black lipstick, dark eyeshadow, and his fingernails are pained black.

He opens the door to his room, and walks into the hall.

Tony walks up and down the hall, reciting his latest "poem," in a dead, dull and lifeless voice.

Little penguin,
Why can't you fly?
Little stubby wings
Hang uselessly by your side.

Do you like that
You're the laughing-stock
Of the birdie kingdom?
Huh? Do you?

I know how much
You hurt, you little
Birdies clad in tuxedos
That you're forced to wear.

As I stare into your
Little birdie eyes,
I can see a tear,
A tear shed for useless wings.

Why do you waddle
When you walk?
I bet that is very
Humiliating for you.

Little penguins,
The world sees you
As ridiculous little
Waddlers who can't fly.

But I see you differently.
Despite what the movies
Tell me, I know you can't dance.
But that doesn't bother me.

I feel like a penguin
Every day of my life.
A laughing-stock on
This planet called Earth.

Tony lays down in the middle of the hallway, and stares at the ceiling, completely still.

[Winslow Leach]

Meanwhile, in Tony's room...

Lefty has become a totally kind and generous individual...

Lefty: Hey, how are you feelin' today, Mr. Newsman?

Newsman: Better.

Lefty: That's splendid to hear! (looks at Crazy Harry) Oh, why is dat poor man tied down?

Newsman: Let him be. Tony tied him down for our safety.

Lefty: Dat's ridiculous! Dis fella wouldn't harm a fly!

Newsman: Lefty, no!

Lefty begins to undo Crazy Harry.

Lefty: Look at dose eyes...do dose eyes look like da eyes of a crazy man?

Newsman: Lefty, listen to me: you're not yourself!

Lefty: Nonsense. I've never felt better!

Newsman: Last night, Bunsen served you, Tony, Beaker and Phil cottage cheese...cottage cheese that he created! Once you eat it, you turn into the exact opposite of your personality!

Lefty has removed Crazy Harry's straightjacket. He takes the gag out of Harry's mouth.

Lefty: Dere ya go! Now yer free!

Harry leaps off of his cot and slides under the Newsman's bed. From beneath, we can hear him giggling.

Newsman: Now look what you've done! Hey...what's he doing under my bed?

Lefty: Nothin'...probably...(takes a lollipop out of his coat) Lollipop?

Newsman: No.

Lefty unwraps the lollipop and puts it in his mouth.

Lefty: I dunno what yer so woirried about. Harry's as harmless as a buzzard! I bet he forgives ya fer havin' him tied down. Why, I'll lay ya two ta one he's gonna go out an' buy you a box of candy or somethin' nice to apologize. I'm sure whatever he has planned fer ya, you're gonna get a real charge outta it!

Crazy Harry (from under the Newsman's bed) Did somebody say charge ? !

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The Newsman's bed leaps into the air, and crashes to the floor...but the Newsman isn't in it. He is on the ceiling. His face is pressed against the ceiling, and his arms and legs are spread apart, as if he is making a snow angel.

Crazy Harry rolls out from under the bed, and rolls around the floor, eyes bulging, laughing maniacally.

Crazy Harry: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Lefty (calmly takes a lollipop out of his coat, and offers it to Harry) Lollipop?

[Beakerfan]

Sweetums: *panting* Found her yet?

Bean: Nope! Where could she have gone?

Sweetums: She's got four legs now! She could be anywhere by now!

Bean: Do... do you think she meant what she said? She's gonna get her revenge on Beaker?

Sweetums: Naw, she's ok about it now.

Meanwhile, something quietly lurks about the dorms, sniffing out its prey.....

[The Count]

*Count and Uncle D leave the room for a quick stroll to spot any of their fiends who might have decided to visit for the weekend.
Count: So, have you heard about the verewolf?
UD: No... What did you say it was again?
Count: Verewolf.
UD: Not sure... You had it last.
*Slight grimace at the old joke.

Hmmm... Wonder what'd happen if a she-wolf caught herself a poor defenseless bunny rabbit. Maybe they'd mate... And a cute wittle wererabbit would be born to become the next top spokesmodel. Eh, crazier things have happened and stranger creatures have been known to roam the world.
*Turns back to ponder while getting ready for Thursday night TV as soon as the boys get back from their tour d'horrorce.

[Winslow Leach]

Tony is still laying on the hallway floor.

If I never got out of bed, would anyone notice? Would anyone care? No. No one would care. I wouldn't be missed. I am Mr. Cellophane. People look right through me, and walk right by me. They don't even know I'm there! No...I wouldn't be missed. Not by anyone...

[Beakerfan]

Sweetums: *running down the hall* Hey Tony! *screeches to a stop and does a double take* Tony? What's wrong with you? Sheesh, everyone's changing!

[Winslow Leach]

Sweetums: *running down the hall* Hey Tony! *screeches to a stop and does a double take* Tony? What's wrong with you? Sheesh, everyone's changing!

Tony opens his eyes, and stares up at Sweetums.

Hey big, shaggy...dude...(sighs)...if you want to stomp on me, go ahead. I won't mind...

Tony closes his eyes. After a few beats, he opens them again.

Not in a stomping mood today? That's cool. Whatever. I dunno what's wrong with me. The last thing I remember was eating some of Bunsen's homemade cottage cheese last night. Then I started feeling really low and depressed. A total change in my personality...but hey, if you see Bunsen, would you ask him to get me more cottage cheese? It was quite delish, as I recall...

[Beakerfan]

Sweetums: *scratches his head* Uh, sure.... Tony.... you might watch your back. There's a she-wolf-woman-thing on the loose....

[Winslow Leach]

Sweetums: *scratches his head* Uh, sure.... Tony.... you might watch your back. There's a she-wolf-woman-thing on the loose....

There's a who where now? Thanks for the heads up, giant shaggy dude...but if it's all the same, I think I'll just lie here for now, and think of where I fit in in the universe...(a la Dr. Smith, from "Lost in Space")...oh, the pain, the pain!

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *after Sweetums and Bean leave again, enters the hall and stops for a minute to sniff at something, then continues*

[Winslow Leach]

Tony hears something strange in the hall, but keeps his eyes closed, wishing he could disappear.

[Beakerfan]

Alex creeps towards Tony. Not recognizing him, she sniffs his face and growls slightly, then changes her mind and leaves him alone.

[Winslow Leach]

Meanwhile...

Lefty: Ya know, Crazy Harry, ya shouldn't have done dat to da poor Newsman...(looks up at ceiling, where Newsie is still stuck) I don't tink we'll ever be able ta get 'im down, he's embedded in da plaster!

Crazy Harry: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

[Winslow Leach]

Tony (eyes closed) Leave me alone, Rowlf! I already told you, I don't know how to play the piano!

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *growls softly at Tony's comment, then begins sniffing Claudia's door*

[Winslow Leach]

POOF!

Tony becomes his normal self again. Apparently the influence of Bunsen's cottage cheese has worn off.

Tony: Unghhh....aahhhh...what...where am...what am I doing on the floor of the hallway...?

He rubs his eyes...and notices the black fingernail polish.

Hunh? Dr. Van Neuter! Did you...?

Looks at clothing.

Why am I dressed like this? And what am I doing on the floor?

Tony stands.

Lefty's gonna have some 'splainin' to do!

He stops, frozen in his tracks, and stares at the werewolf creature.

Er...nice doggie...um...I'm just gonna...go to my room...if you're nice and...and don't attack me...I'll...I'll get you some nice Milk Bones...

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Erin: Wolfsbane potion.
Nora: Check.
Erin: Silver cake cutter.
Storyteller: Check.
Erin: Silver salad tongs.
Beige: Check.
Erin: Werewolf-trapping yoyo.
Scooter: Check.
Erin: Copy of "Here Comes the Sun," by the Beatles.
Storyteller: That's you.
Erin: Right. (all reach into circle and join hands) Let's do this.

(all occupants, wearing black ninja gear and wielding weapons of choice, run out into the hallway, to the strains of "invasion of the Mallory Gallery" music from "The Great Muppet Caper.")

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *snarls loudly and runs down the hall, taking a flying leap out of the nearest window. Landing on all fours, she gazes back at the dorms and howls* AAAAAAaawooooooooooooooo!

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Nora: (smearing some of wolfsbane potion behind ears) Uh, guys, Alex's done a bunk.
Erin: Wonderful. (sighs, picks up intercom) Hey, Ed, you want to seal off the entrance to campus or something?
Scooter: (singing) He's the hairy-handed gent, who ran amuck in Kent...lately he's been overheard in Mayfair.
Beige: (singing) Better stay away from him; he'll rip your lungs out, Jim - I'd like to meet his tailor.
Storyteller: Never mind the werewolves of London; we've got enough to worry about with the werewolves of Muppet College Dorms.

(gang sets off downstairs)

[Beakerfan]

Sweetums: *crashes into Erin & the gang as they make their way out of the dorms* Oh! Hey guys! Have you seen a werewolf anywhere lately? *notices what they're carrying* Oh! I see you have.... wait... you're not planning on hurting her are you?

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Storyteller: Oh, hi, Sweetums! No, we don't want to hurt her.
Beige: Maybe poke and prod her a little, or make her sit under a sun lamp...
Erin: The thing is, Sweetums, we want to get Alex to turn back into a human...
Scooter: Yeah, but Ed didn't leave any of his special potion.
Nora: Lycanthropy...it can be such a headache, you know?
Scooter: (pause) I heard some snarling in the bushes. (takes out yoyo) Let's go.

(head off, with calls of "Here, wolfie wolfie wolfie...here, you savage little bloodthirsty hairball..."

[The Count]

You know... We're gonna have to get serious about finding someone to draw up the dorms' plans one of these days. Would help cut down on location confusion inside this mad house. Oh well...

Uncle D, would you mind?

UD: Not at all...
*Skulks off into the corridor and uses a small jolt of blue lightning to track the mystical energy lines straight to Alex-wolf.
*Finding her but not approaching yet... UD: Mmm, at least now we know where she is. Scooter, the potion if you please. *After he takes the draft, the phantomly dragon whistles an eerie melody as he mixes it with some werewolf chicken crunchies into the dinner bowl.
UD: Here you go Alex... Now eat it all up. *Good girl, patting her head smartly.

[Winslow Leach]

Tony enters his room, just as a loud POOF! is heard. Lefty acts as if electrocuted, then returns to normal.

Tony himself is back to normal. He is wearing his regular clothing, which at the moment is a short-sleeved, cotton polo shirt, khakis and loafers, and his hair is neatly combed.

Tony: Hey Lefty, why was I out on the hall floor? And why were my nails painted black?

Lefty: Whaddaya askin' me fer? I'm tryin' ta figure out what happened to my lollipops!

Tony: Um...why is Newsie on the ceiling?

Lefty: I dunno. Maybe he had a nightmare...riiiiight!

Tony: And Harry! Who took him off his cot ? !

Crazy Harry pops up from the side of Newsie's bed.

Crazy Harry: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tony: Geez...you guys act as if I wasn't here for the last 24 hours or so...(looks around room) What happened to Cookie? And Bunsen? Beaker? Dr. Van Neuter? They were all here for dinner. And the table they brought...where did it go? Lefty...

Lefty: I didn't do nuthin' ta da table! Last ting I remember, it was here!

Tony: Odd...

(Tony stands on Newsie's bed, and pries him off the ceiling; Newsie's face is mashed)

Tony: Newsie...what happened?

Newsie (talking through mashed face, in a high-pitched voice, as if someone is holding his nose) Cwazy Hawwy bwew up my bed, and I cwashed into the ceiling.

Tony puts Newsie under the covers of his bed, and reshapes his face back to normal.

Tony: Yeah, I didn't think you jumped up there yourself. Are you okay?

Newsie: Aside from the headache and the constant ringing in my ears, I'm peachy-keen. Good to see your back to your old self.

Tony: Huh?

Newsie: Don't you remember?

Tony: Remember what?

Newsie: Last night at dinner...you ate some of Bunsen's cottage cheese.

Tony: Yeah...?

Newsie: Apparently it was an experiment, and you were the guinea pig. The cottage cheese made you act the opposite of who you really were! So instead of being a kind, cheery, happy-go-lucky guy, you became this moody goth! You were depressed and moody.

Tony: I would seriously doubt that, if it was anyone but Bunsen, but I definitely believe it. It's just crazy enough to be believed. Gosh, I hope I didn't hurt anyone!

Newsie: Only lovers of good poetry.

Tony: Huh?

Newsie: You were walking around all night and day, reciting this weird, morbid "poetry" that you composed. It drove me up the wall...literally, as you can see.

Tony: Well, Crazy Harry helped.

Newsie: I'm just glad that things are back to normal.

Tony: Yup. Now if you gents will excuse me, I think I'll go pay a little visit to Alex!

Newsie: Er, Tony...

Tony: Yeah?

Newsie: About Alex...

[Erine81981]

You know... We're gonna have to get serious about finding someone to draw up the dorms' plans one of these days. Would help cut down on location confusion inside this mad house. Oh well...
You got that right Ed. See you later dude. *high fives Ed and heads on into the room* *sighs* That was one good dinner huh guys?

Herry: Yep.

Grover: I had notices they might need a waiter there. Maybe i will work there. I will call them up. *starts calling Chills*

Murray: I can now eat some of my leftovers tomorrow.

How about you come and eat with me at the recycling center tomorrow?

Murray: Sounds fun.

Herry: I'll try and come too.

Ok good.

Grover: Thank you. Bye. *hangs up* They are hiring.

That's good. So are you going to work there?

Grover: I do not know. I will have to find out my other work schedules. Good night guys.

Me, Herry and Murray: Good night Grover.

We'll i'm going to head to bed too. See you two tomorrow before work and hoping to see you Herry at lunch. Good night guys. *yawns*

Herry: Good night Kyle.

Murray: Good night. Now what to do?

Herry: Why not watch some "George of the Jungle" cartoon DVD that Kyle bought.

Murray: Yea. Watch out for that tree! Wam!

Both monster laugh

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *snarls at Uncle Deadly, then happily begins eating the kibble*

In a few moments, Alex has returned to her normal self.

Alex: *realizes what she is eating* BLEEECH! Ew, gross! I can't believe I LIKED that stuff! Well... *pops a piece in her mouth* It isn't bad, really... *realizes her clothes are all torn up* Oh my gosh... how embarassing. I'm surprised I'm not used to it by now, not to mention *SIGH* the cuts, the scars, the bite marks.... you'd think I have fleas or something. *grabs a handful of the werewolf chicken crunchies and heads up to her room* You know, it's kind of fun being a werewolf.... no matter how short it lasts. I just hope it doesn't have any real lasting effects on my human side. *continues to eat the kibble* Oh my gosh! Sweetums! Look at the door! *groans* oh well, I'll get someone to fix it in the morning. *yawns, scratches behind her ear and curls up on her bed* Good night boys!

Bean: Good night Fifi!

Alex: Oh, is that my name now? *chuckles* Well, if that's what you wanna call me.....

Sweetums: *snores*

[The Count]

*Cleaning up, Uncle D puts it all into storage for next time.
UD: She makes for a cute enough werewolf. Thank the graves it only lasts for a little while. Sure hope Ed hasn't gotten another bout of that nasty acid of his.
*Returns to our room under the cover of cloaked nighttime, what with most of the hall lights turned off by now.

[Winslow Leach]

Tony is on his bed, reading. Newsie is frantically clacking away on a news story. Crazy Harry has a stick of dynamite in his mouth for some reason, but thankfully, it's not lit.

From out of nowhere, pop music springs up. Lefty begins dancing and swaying in time to the music, trying to get Tony's attention.

Lefty (sings)

Big goils don't cry!
Big goils don't cry!

Biiiiiiiiig goils....
Do-hon't cry-yi-yi!
Dey don't cry!

Biiiiiiig goils...
Dey don't cry!

(after a beat)

Tony: No.

Lefty: SHHHHHHHHHH! I haven't finished!

Tony: For the last time, I'm not writing a musical!

Lefty: Riiiiiiiight! I getcha. But I figured ya script could use a little number here and dere.

Tony: Have you been reading my play?

Lefty: Naw, naw...well...I took a little peeksie...

Tony: Lefty! I didn't say you could read it!

Lefty: Ya didn't say I couldn't read it!

Newsman: Hey, can you two keep it down? I'm working on a story about something known as the Gingerbread Man Flu. It seems people who come down with the flu actually turn into gingerbread men! (does a double-take) What? I've been working all morning on this? (yanks paper out of typewriter, and crumples it up; he tosses the wad of paper, which hits Lefty) And to think...I could have been covering that story on the squirrel that bears a striking resemblance to Bozo the Clown...

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
Looks like everything's back to normal.
Isn't that a shame?
I wonder how it all happened so quickly.

Beaker:
Meep meee.

Bunsen:
Of course not.
That's impossible...
since when does that happen?
It is scientifically impossible to simply zap things into place.
Ah well, if I can build a time machine...
I suppose that could take place, too.

Dr. Van Neuter:
Have you seen Claudia?
I've been looking for her...
She said she'd play checkers with me.

Bunsen:
It's not like her to run from a game.
Ah well, she'll show up sooner or later...
Probably trying to blow off some steam.

Dr. Van Neuter:
Yup.

Bunsen:
Is Alex any better?
I hope the poor girl did not hurt herself.
I tried to make her drink the antidote.
Turns out Beaker and I were thrown out the window.

Dr. Van Neuter:
Is that why you guys smell like toast?

Beaker:
(Nods)
Meee.

Bunsen:
Yes.
We were electrocuted...
again.

and...

Again...

and...

Again....

(Puts on a scary face)

Dr. Van Neuter:
Um...OKKK!
How about them apples?

[Winslow Leach]

A Whatever is innocently standing behind a wall.

Cue Lefty's theme music. Lefty enters, and looks right, then left. He slowly approaches the Whatever, whose name is...oh, let's say Moe.

Lefty: Hey...hey kid!

Moe (does frightened take) Who, me?

Lefty: Riiiiiiight. I got somethin' fer ya!

Moe: Wow, and it's not even my birthday!

Lefty: Riiiiiiight, riiiiiight!

Moe: What have you got?

Lefty: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Moe (softer voice) What have you got?

Lefty: I have here, de most wonnderful, de most stupendous, de most magnificent, de most can't-live-witout device you've ever seen!

Lefty pulls what looks like a deflated balloon out of his coat pocket.

Lefty: Feast yer eyes on dis!

Moe: A balloon?

Lefty (does a take) A balloon? A balloon? Kid, kid...have you been livin' under a rock for da past...er...five minutes? Dis is not a balloon!

Moe: What is it?

Lefty: I'm glad ya asked! Dis here is a what-you-call inflatable birthday cake!

Moe: An inflatable birthday cake?

Lefty: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Riiiiiiiiiight...riiiight!

Moe: I've never heard of an inflatable birthday cake before!

Lefty: Dat's because ya look like an ignoramus! I don't do business wit ignoramuses!

Lefty slowly puts the balloon back into his coat, and pretends to walk away...

Moe: Wait!

ZOOM!

Lefty is back.

Moe: Tell me more about your inflatable birthday cake.

Lefty: Well, here's what ya do...ya put yer lips here, as if you was blowin' a balloon...den, you simply blow it up as big as you want! It kin serve up ta 15 guests! Be da hit of yer next birthday party!

Moe: How much is this inflatable birthday cake?

Lefty: Normally dis handy-dandy ting would sell for an astronomical price! But I will give dis yummy inflatable birthday cake to ya fer a nickel!

Moe: A nickel ? !

Lefty: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Moe (softer voice) A nickel?

Lefty: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...

Moe (hands Lefty a nickel; Lefty hands Moe the balloon) Gee! An inflatable birthday cake!

Lefty (hurriedly begins to exit) Don't eat it all in one place!

Moe: Hey Mr. Salesman, wait, wait!

Lefty stops in his tracks, frozen.

Lefty: Sorry, kid...no refunds.

Moe: No. I was wondering...what flavor is it?

Lefty: Er...Tootsie-Frootsie!

Lefty runs off.

Moe: Awwww...I was hoping for banana cream!

[Winslow Leach]

Tony enters the room. Newsie is watching the copy of "The Maltese Falcon" that Alex gave him.

Bogart (from TV) ...the stuff that dreams are made of!

End music swells. Newsie is bawling his eyes out.

Tony: Newsie...you okay?

Newsman (pulling himself together) Yeah...yeah. I was just watching "The Maltese Falcon." It's my favorite movie.

Tony: Were you crying?

Newsman: When?

Tony: Just now.

Newsman: No. No! I had something in my eye...

Tony: Oh...

Newsman: But it's such a good movie!

Newsie begins to bawl again. He walks over to Tony, and embraces him. Tony pats him on the back.

Tony: Um...there there...there there...

Newsman (sniffles) Where? Where?

Tony: Nevermind...

[Beakerfan]

Sweetums: *sitting in his chair, holding out a needle and thread* How's this?

Alex: Make it a little longer. You don't wanna run out....

Bean: I found it! I found it! *runs in carrying a large pile of different scraps of cloth*

Alex: Oh good! Let me see......

Sweetums: So... how bout now? *holds up the needle and thread*

Alex: I think that's pretty good. Ok, Bean? Could you grab that pile of jeans over there?

Bean: *heaves the pile over to Alex*

Alex: Thank you. Now, we need to sort them. Ok... those ones put over there *points at a pair of torn jeans* Sweetums, you take this pair *hands him another pair of torn jeans* And I'll work on these ones *grabs a pair of non-ripped jeans* When we've finished with these we can start on the shirts. Man I've torn up a lot of my clothes! Being a werewolf may be fun, but it sure gives me a lot of work to do!

Sweetums: Wait a second.... your pair doesn't have any holes in it?

Alex: That's because I'm not patching these. I'm making them into bell-bottoms.

Bean: Oh! I've seen that before. I think.... but not in jeans.

Alex: Well, just wait and see. Ok, you guys ready to get started? First, pick a scrap from the pile Bean brought in. Make sure it's big enough to cover the hole, ok? Then pick a brightly colored thread. I can help you pick if you like....

[The Count]

Hee... Know whatcha mean Alex. Doing a bit or repatching meself.
OK, gonna contact Maddie and Gererd, if they don't answer in a week's time then hexpect an announcement on Leap Year Day.

[Beakerfan]

Ooh... exciting! Ok... I can be patient..... *begins frantically sewing*

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
WOAH!
DANG! I AM STEAMING!
I AM BURNING!
(Blows furiously at the fire)

No! Bad Spa'am!
BAD!

Spa'am:
BOOM SHAKA-LAKA!

Claudia:
OOOHHH!
I'll show YOU BOOM SHAKA LAKA!
Do you know what are....MODERN TIMES, SPA'AM?

Spa'am:
Uh?

Claudia:
Bacon, Spa'am...
bacon.
(Smiles twistedly)

---

Dr. Van Neuter:
This has been the greatest day of our lives!

Bunsen:
No Claudia!

Beaker:
(Cheers)

Dr. Van Neuter:
Still owes me, though.

[Winslow Leach]

Lefty enters, giggling.

Tony: So what are you so happy about?

Lefty shakes his coat; the sounds of multiple coins can be heard jingling.

Lefty: Ya wouldn't believe how many inflatable birthday cake kits I sold today!

Tony: Why are you back so early? Did you run out of balloons?

Lefty: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Riiiiight...riiiight...I finished the pack. I was wonderin' if I kin borrow some dough to buy anudder pack.

Tony: Are you kidding? Your pockets sound loaded!

Lefty: Riiiiight....right....but dis is my money. I want your money!

Tony sighs and turns on the TV; he leaps onto his bed.

Newsie (on TV) Here is a Muppet Newsflash! Tomatoes are a fruit! Film at eleven!

Newsie tosses his report, and stomps off the set.

Lefty: Wow. Ya learn somethin' new every day!

[Winslow Leach]

Tony is on his bed, at wit's end...the magazine he was reading now covers his face...he is exasperated, because...

Lefty is doing the Electric Slide, in yet another attempt to get into the play Tony is writing.

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *noticing Tony's plight* Sweetums, would you be a dear?

Sweetums: Sure! *pops down the trap door and snatches Lefty, Mission Impossible style* *closes the door and locks it* There ya go little buddy! Now no more bothering Tony.

Alex: Hey Lefty, how's it goin? I thought it might be a good idea if you came up here and practiced your songs/dances for Tony. That way, when he sees them, they'll be perfect. I have some video tapes and CD's and whatnot you can work with, if you like. Bean can help you, too.

[Winslow Leach]

Lefty does quadruple take.

Da ya tink so? Dat guy down dere is a real joik! He won't gimme a chance ta be in da play he's writin'! Even dough he says it's not a musical, I tink I can convince him to add some songs an' dance. But da guy won't gimme a break! He's such a crum-bum! I don't even know why I'm roomin' wit him!

[Beakerfan]

Alex: Well, sure... I mean, with a little practice, I'm sure Tony will see your talent! You'll knock 'em dead! But practice up here, ok? That way Tony can keep writing for a little bit.

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Your eyes can't tell a lie!
I know you wanna come with me tonight!

And if I say alright,
first you gotta,

Push, push, back up on it!
Make me believe you want it!

[Eats some hotdog]

[Hears Alex]

Hmm...back to normal!
Cool.

---

[Winslow Leach]

Tony knocks on trap door with broom.

Alex! Alex!

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *calls* Just a minute! *quietly* Sweetums! Entertain Lefty while I talk to Tony! Take him to go look at the videos and stuff....

*smoothes her shirt and opens the trap door* Hi Tony! What's up?

[Winslow Leach]

Erm...well...you're up right now...at least from where I'm standing! Wocka-wocka!

Anyway, thank you for getting that little sneak thief out of my hair. I was wondering if you'd like to come down and watch some TV with me?

[Beakerfan]

Haw haw.... hang on a sec! I'll be right down! *puts her sewing away and goes to watch tv with Tony*

[Winslow Leach]

Hey sweetie!

(Tony gives Alex a hug, and kisses her on the cheek)

What do you want to watch? We have a lot of DVDs down here...take your pick!

Oh...you're not going to turn into a werewolf again, are you? I mean...you're not gonna go for my jugular, right?

[Winslow Leach]

So...have you decided what you want to watch? And we're cool on the werewolf thing, right?

[Beakerfan]

Oh, sorry! Spaced out for a sec.... do you have "The Wedding Singer"? I love that movie! And no, you don't have to worry about me turning into a werewolf anytime soon.... do you have any Chicken Crunchies?

[Winslow Leach]

No problem, I often...

(Pause; Tony freezes for several seconds)

...space out.

Anyway...Chicken Crunchies? Isn't that some kind of dog food? But hey, if you want 'em, I can run down to the 7-11 and pick some up for ya.

Yeah, we have The Wedding Singer. Also You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle...

[Beakerfan]

Oh, it's no big deal. I have some up in my room. *scratches behind her ear* Hey, I don't look any different to you, do I? I always worry that being a werewolf is going to affect my human side....

[Winslow Leach]

Tony knocks on trapdoor with broom.

Hey Sweetums? Can you throw down a bag of Chicken Crunchies for Alex, please?

Look different? No. You look fine. Hang on...

Tony carefully removes a flea from Alex's shoulder.

Wonder how this got in here? Hmmm. Lefty probably tried selling some poor sucker a flea circus or something. What was I...no, no. You're fine! You don't show any traces of lycanthropy.

So! The Wedding Singer! Right! Make yourself comfy, and I'll pop it in!

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Hello, boys.

Dr. Van Neuter:
Oh no!

Bunsen:
Gravity is pushing down on me... more than usual.
Thoughts of fear are running at the speed of light!

Beaker:
(Screams)

Claudia:
(Munches)

Bunsen:
Is that...Spa'am?

Claudia:
Nah, bought it on the way here.

Bunsen:
(Faints)

[The Count]

*Smells something delicious in Claudia's room. Is that cooked prawns with peppers and spices? Yummo!

[Winslow Leach]

Tony puts "The Wedding Singer" on, and sits on the floor.

[Katzi428]

Prairie: Hopefully Gonzo or Camilla won't see what Tony and Alex are eating.
What do you mean....ohhhhhh.! Chicken Crunchies!
Prairie:Yes!But not so loud!
I'm sure they'll get rid of them before Gonzo or Camilla comes back.
Rosita:I think so too.So Prairie...how'd those H's taste today?
Prairie:Horribly horrendous!It gave me heartburn! I wanted to hurl! :eek:
That bad huh?
Prairie:Yeah.That Cookie Monster must have a cast iron stomach!:p

[The Count]

Aw... And hereI thought hot honey H's would taste good. Maybe no hot sauce in the next batch out of the oven. Mmm, I can smell those number 5's already.
*Sends Prairie a glass of milk and a chocolate chip 5 to help with her heartburn, that always helps mine at least.

[Katzi428]

Aw... And hereI thought hot honey H's would taste good. Maybe no hot sauce in the next batch out of the oven. Mmm, I can smell those number 5's already.
*Sends Prairie a glass of milk and a chocolate chip 5 to help with her heartburn, that always helps mine at least.
taking the milk & the chocolate chip 5 from Ed Mmmm...Heavenly,Ed! Thanks!G'night!

[Winslow Leach]

In Alex's room, Lefty is continuing his Lucy Ricardo-ish determination to get into Tony's play.

Dressed in spandex and leg warmers, Lefty is furiously dancing and singing along to a well-known hit.

Lefty (singing)

I'm da maniac...maniac on da floor!
An' I'm dancin' like I never danced befooooooore!

[BeakerSqueedom]

Dr. Van Neuter:
I want you now!

Claudia:
You know, Neuter, there are just some things you shouldn't yell out.

Now, what's going on?

Dr. Van Neuter:
I need to poke at your brain.

Claudia:
What makes you think I'd be so willing to let you do that?

Dr. Van Neuter:
It was worth a shot.

[Winslow Leach]

Lefty is bouncing along, with choreographed hand moves, to another song.

Lefty (singing with the stereo)

I'm a Barbie goil,
In da Barbie woild,
Life in plastic,
It's fantastic!

Come on, Barbie, let's go party...riiiiiiiight...riiiiiight!
Ah ah ah, yeah!
Come on, Barbie, let's go party...riiiiight...riiiiiight!
Ooh wow, ooh wow!

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.........riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig ht!

Hit me, hit me!
Riiiiiiiiiight!

Hit me, hit me!
Riiiiiiiiiiight!

Wah wah wah...yeah...
Wah wah wah...yeah...

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

[The Count]

*Is suddenly ill from the mental images of Lefty's latest attempts to get into Tony's play. Stop it before we throw him outta here!

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
You can say that again, Eddie.
Look, Lefty, maybe you're not good enough for Broadway...
But you are good for one thing.

(Points to the hole in her pocket)

Bunsen:
Agreed.
(Points to his)

Dr. Van Neuter:
I want my money back.
(Points to his as well)

Beaker:
MEEE MEE MEEE!
(Opens his empty pink [flowery] wallet)

[Katzi428]

tears streaming down my face as I'm taking a DVD out of the player and giggling
Rosita coming in and noticing my face with tears on it:Kathy!Are you OK?Why are you crying?
Huh? Oh Rosita...I'm not upset.dabbing at my eyes and then blowing my nose. I just finished watching the gag reel on my Whose Line Is It Anyway? DVD.It was hysterical!:D still laughing a bit
Rosita:Ai yi yi!*collapsing into a chair* You and that Whose Line show,Kathy!And here I was thinking something horrible had happened to you and you were crying because of that!:rolleyes:
Oh I love it!
Rosita:Well..whatever makes you happy.I agree it's pretty funny too.:)

[Winslow Leach]

Lefty opens the trap door and descends into his room.

Lefty: I've been woikin' on my dancin'!

Tony: Lefty. For the last time...I am not writing a musical!

Lefty: Yeah, but...dere's always room in a show fer singin' an' dancin'!

Tony: Not in my show.

Lefty: Oh, pardon me, Mr. Hoity-Toity Shaka-speare! Dere's no room in my play fer singin' and dancin'. Who made you da boss of da theatre?

Tony: Did Alex's roommates help you?

Lefty: Yeah..riiiight...dat big hairy guy was really good...an' dat little bunny rabbit...ya've never seen moves like dat! He's a real talented kid!

[Beakerfan]

Sweetums: Alex, have you seen Bean anywhere?

Alex: No, why?

Sweetums: We were playing hide and seek, but I can't find him!

Alex: Sweetums! That's cheating!

Sweetums: But I've been looking for hours!

Alex: He'll show up eventually.

Bean: *sitting among Alex's plushes*

[The Count]

*Sigh... Another Saturday night and no fanfic updates.

Noooo fanfic updates.
*Two-toned whistle.

[Winslow Leach]

*Sigh... Another Saturday night and no fanfic updates.

Noooo fanfic updates.
*Two-toned whistle.

LOL! Fanny the Fan-Fic Sprite!

[Beakerfan]

*Sigh... Another Saturday night and no fanfic updates.

Noooo fanfic updates.
*Two-toned whistle.

Sounds like you could use a dose of the Cheerful Fairy....

[Winslow Leach]

On TV, the Newsman hurriedly enters.

Newsman: Here is a Muppet Newsflash! Mr. Orville P. Cluckleworth of Springfield, claims he can recite Shakespeare's Hamlet in under one second. The claim was disputed earlier this afternoon, as Mr. Cluckleworth only got through the first word of the play, "Who," before being hit on the head with a giant kilbasa, wielded by Poinsetta, Mr. Cluckleworth's wife, knocking him unconscious.

[BeakerSqueedom]

*Sigh... Another Saturday night and no fanfic updates.

Noooo fanfic updates.
*Two-toned whistle.

Claudia:
Sean posted...:P
Today....
Hope that makes you feel better, Eddiekins.

[BEAR]

(Bert and Ernie are sitting in their chairs watching TV)

Bryan: Hey, have you guys seen Cookie Monster? I haven't seen him for a while.
Ernie: Didn't he go over to Tony's for dinner?
Bryan: That was days ago.
Bert: Maybe he's still there.
Bryan: Oh dear... I really hope Tony isn't being annoyed. Ever since he moved into the Dorms, Cookie Monster has been over there eating his food.
Ernie: What does that say about your cooking?
Bert: Ernie!
Bryan: Hey, I'm a good cook!
Ernie: Khekhekhekhe! I'm only teasing.
Bryan: (calls up Tony's room) Hey, Tony. It's Bryan. Hi. I hope I'm not disturbing you. I was just wondering if you've seen Cookie Monster...

[Winslow Leach]

Tony (on phone) Hey, Bryan...no, Cookie Monster's not here...last I saw of him was during the week, when I ordered him that cookie feast. He ate everything, including the plates they were served on, thanked me, then left. I haven't seen him since. I was going to ask you if you had seen him...

[Winslow Leach]

Lefty enters.

Tony: Hey Lefty, have you seen Cookie Monster?

Lefty: Nah. Last time I saw him was when he was eatin' all dose cookies ya ordered him.

Tony: Yeah. Bryan's looking for him.

Lefty: Well, if I was him, I would leave a trail of cookies from da front door to Bryan's room...like dey did in dat Hansel an' Gretel story...da Cookie Monster will show up in no time. Riiiiiight, riiiiiiiight!

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
¡Claudia, ayuda nos! ¡No podemos parar de hablar español!
Claudia, help us! We can't stop speaking spanish!

Claudia:
What?
Can't stop speaking spanish?
Who knew you could speak?

Beaker:
¿Es lo mismo ser atractivo que ser guapo?
Is it the same being attractive than being sexy?

Bunsen:
Bueno, intentando explicarme un poco mejor, pienso que lo máximo es cuando una persona tiene los dos atributos, es guapa y atractiva.

Y que para mi opinión, el atractivo y la "magia"...
Well, to explain myself better, I think it's at it's highest when one has both attributes, of being sexy and attractive.

In my opinion, it is the "magic"---

Claudia:
What?
Guys, just stop.
What in the world happened?

Bunsen:
Perdóneme...
Forgive me.

Beaker:
(Blushes)
Qué pecado.
What a sin.

Claudia:
It was that machine...wasn't it?

Dr. Van Neuter:
Erklären Sie mir über es! Diese knuckleheads täuschten mit dem Übersetzer wieder. Der Nerv.

Bunsen,Beaker, and Claudia:
¿Qué?

Dr. Van Neuter:
Warum? WARRRUUUMMMMMM?
Why? Whyyyyyy?

Claudia:
Get to work, guys.
Neuter, stop talking.

Dr. Van Neuter:
(Sigh)

[Winslow Leach]

Lefty opens the door of Claudia's room, and walks in, uninvited. Why? Because he's Lefty.

Lefty: Hey, Tony sent me in here. Any of youse guys see da Cookie Monster? His roommate Bryan is lookin' fer him!

[The Count]

Hmmm... Maybe Newsy has a lead on Cookie's whereabouts on today's noontime or 5 o'clock news. Sounds like Bunsen's been borrowing techfrom Reed in an attempt to build his own universal translator thingamajiggy. Still has a few hiccups to work out, but it's generally underschtandable.

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Don't come in Lefty!
It affects muppets!
LEAVE!

Bunsen:
¡Qué lástima!

Beaker:
(In a bumblebee suit)
Meesheesh.

Dr. Van Neuter:
Warrrruuummm? WAARRUU-

Claudia:
I dunno, Doc.

*Borrows Lefty with permission*

Lefty:
No tengo pantalones!
¿Por qué?
(Drops to his knees)
POR QUE?
I don't have pants...
Why?
WHYYYY?

Claudia:
'Cause you have a trenchcoat?

Lefty:
Shhhh...
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....

[BeakerSqueedom]

Hmmm... Maybe Newsy has a lead on Cookie's whereabouts on today's noontime or 5 o'clock news. Sounds like Bunsen's been borrowing techfrom Reed in an attempt to build his own universal translator thingamajiggy. Still has a few hiccups to work out, but it's generally underschtandable.

[OOC: Trans-thingamajigwas not used.
The German part was....just a bit of a correction on that comment of yours.
Not as flawless, but worth a shot.]

:wisdom:

[The Count]

Hee... That was a Fantastic Four reference Squeekers. Your translative techniques are positivamente digno de honores (positively honorably worthy).
Take care gang. Maybe fics will get updatage soonerishkibbible or something like that.

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Oh, sorry.
Airhead moment. :P
Yes, Eddie...
more fics will be updated today.
:)

Bunsen:
I think...
I think it's working now.

Claudia:
O_o
YOU SPEAK ENGLISH!

Beaker:
Meee.

Bunsen:
Don't worry, Beaker.
You will always be...er...sexy...
Er....even without the spanish.

Dr. Van Neuter:
WARRRUUUMM?

Claudia:
Doc?

Dr. Van Neuter:
Nah, I'm just joking around.

Claudia:
(Faints)

[Winslow Leach]

Lefty stands in the doorway of the room.

Lefty: Da weirdest ting just happened...

Tony: Somebody take you for a nickel?

Lefty: Smart guy, eh?

Tony: What happened, Lefty?

Lefty: I walked into da room wit da scientists...and all of a sudden, I began speakin' Spanish!

Tony: Why?

Lefty: How should I know? I just was!

Tony: Say something in Spanish now.

Lefty: I can't! Dat's what I'm tryin' ta tell ya! As soon as I left da room, I couldn't remember a woid I said!

Tony (turns on TV) Huh. Wonder what's on TV...

Lefty: Ah, forgit you! I don't need you or your play!

Tony: Finally gave up, huh?

Lefty: Nope. I wrote my own!

Tony: What?

Lefty: I wrote my own play.

Tony: You wrote your own play?

Lefty: Yep!

Tony: When?

Lefty: Dis mornin'.

Tony: You wrote a whole play this morning?

Lefty: Yep. I scribbled it on a buncha napkins while I was havin' my coffee...(Lefty pulls dirty, wadded napkins out of his pockets; some fall to the floor) I have da tee-ater's next masterpiece right here! Ya want me ta read it?

Tony: Nope.

Lefty: Okay. (reads from napkin) Gerrble-junka-poiunearr...oops! It's upside down...riiiiight! (turns napkin rightside up) Okay. Act One, Scene One...

[Winslow Leach]

Lefty's play...

As Lefty reads, he imagines an elaborate production...

Lefty: Da stage is empty. A single spotlight picks up me. I stand and address da audience...

Lefty (on stage, wearing his usual getup) Hello...audience. I'm glad ya could make it ta my show. Sorry dat it cost more dan a nickel, dough. But when ya see da talent up here, I bet yer gonna end up payin' more by da time ya leave!

Wow, I never taught I'd have my own show. My roommate was writin' a play, and he wouldn't let me be in it, even dough I broke my back auditionin' fer him!

(loud boos from audience)

Heh heh...dat's okay...I had my friend Crazy Harry attach wires to his head while he was sleepin'...da next mornin' my roommate wasn't in da room...he was all over da room, if ya get my meanin'! (winks)

(The audience applauds wildly)

Lefty: An' now ta start da show, I'd like ta sing youse a song...(turns to pianist) Maestro!

(Music begins; Lefty starts to sing)

Lefty

All youse people are good ta me...
All youse people believe in me...
All youse people are friends ta me...
All youse people paid yer money ta see me!

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

Hit it!

(The lights come up, revealing a full orchestra pit; the music picks up speed, and Lefty begins dancing across the stage)

I gots money from my mommy,
I gots money from my dad,
I gots money from my grandpa,
Twenty bucks, hey, dat ain't bad!

I gots money from my sister,
I gots money from my bro,
I gots money from da cop,
SHHHHHH! He doesn't know!

I gots money from my uncle,
I gots money out of hock,
I gots money from my auntie,
I got two bits from Mr. Spock!

I gots money,
I gots money,
I gots moneeeeeeeeeeey!

(The curtains open to reveal a large chorus line of dancers, all dressed exactly as Lefty)

Lefty: Ladies and gentlemen...Lefty and da Rights!

Chorus (sing, as Lefty weaves in and out of chorus line, ad-libbing "riiiiight," etc.)

He gots money from his mommy,
He gots money from his dad,
He gots money from his grandpa,
Twenty bucks, hey, that ain't bad!

Lefty: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

Chorus

He gots money from his sister,
He gots money from his bro,
He gots money from the cop,

Lefty & Chorus:

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Chorus (whispering)

He doesn't know!

He gots money from his uncle,
He gots money out of hock,
He gots money from his auntie,
He got two bits from Mr. Spock!

Lefty (giving Mr. Spock's hand sign, but inexplicably using Mork's catchphrase)

Na-nu, Na-nu!

CHORUS
He gots money,
He gots money,
He gots moneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!

(The lights go down again, save for a single spot. Lefty sits on the edge of the stage and crosses his legs, a la Judy Garland)

Lefty: Ya know...I like money. Naw, scratch dat...I love money! An' I love da fact dat youse people paid a lotta money on accounta seein' me in poison here tonight, when ya could have gone to a movie or somethin' more edumacational. But money soitenly rocks my woild, as I'm sure ya know...and if ya don't...what are ya doin' here? Ya knew comin' in dat I was a money-hog, so ya already knew what you was gettin' into...riiiiiight! An' if ya don't like it, ya kin leave, what do I care? I already got yer money, riiight, riiiight! An' don't even bother goin' back to da box office tryin' ta get yer money back! Dere ain't gonna be any refunds! In fact, if ya looked at da posters an' billboards outside of dis thea-ter, it clearly states in gigantic, bold letters, even bigger dan my own name: Absolutely, Positevely NO Refunds! (mouths "I love you")

(Lefty stands, and the lights come up)

Let's take it home, goils!

(Lefty joins the Rights in the center, and does a kick line with them, as the number comes to an end)

Lefty & Chorus

Oh, I love my money,
It ain't funny,
How I love my money,
I love it so...

An' if ya don't like me,
Well dat's too darn bad,
'Cause you've already spent
Way too much on my shoooow!

(wild applause)

Lefty: Tank you! Tank you! Aw, yer too kind! Tank you! Tank you so much!

(thousands of roses are thrown on the stage from all directions; Lefty continues to bow)

Really! Yer all too kind! Stop it, please! Really! Aw, you're all so wunnerful...you're...

(a thorn from a flying rose hits Lefty in the eye)

Lefty: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUCCCHHHHHHH! Who trew dat? HUH? Who trew dat rose? I wanna know who trew dat (the loud applause washes over Lefty's next word, which is rather naughty) rose! Dat's it! Lower da coiton! Lower da coiton! Da show is over! It's over!

The curtain falls.

[The Count]

*Good sigh. Okay, another portion of that thing's been sorted out. Now I can rest for a little while before taking up the cause for another round. Hey Count, I'm waiting for aFraggle DVD to arrive in the mail.
Count: Oh, what for?
I'm gonna watch a few episodes and see if there's enough to draft a sort of research into the judicial systems of the cavé dwellers, both Fraggle and Doozer alike. Might also watch the Fraggle Wars episode, could line up an interview with Beige if Erin can help me with that.
Count: Sounds interesting.

Yep... *Hits the sac for a good rest-up.

BTW: Ryan, Erin, Kim, Kyle, Bryan, Beth, I need your answers on the current application for residency here at the dorms. Thanks, I'll stay in contact with you all.

[Katzi428]

Prairie:sighPoor Lefty.He wants to be in a show so bad!
Rosita:Hey Prairie!You write plays!Why don't you put Lefty in one of yours?
Yeah...that's a good idea!
Prairie:It's a good idea.Except I haven't gotten any ideas of what to write a play about.My brain feels empty.
You'll come up with something. I have faith in you Prairie.Just keep thinking.:)

[BeakerSqueedom]

Dr. Van Neuter:
Lefty...what in the name of...

Claudia:
Shush it, Doc!
He was GREAT!
ENCORE! ENCORE!

Dr. Van Neuter:
Look, I have a song to go with that shake.
Hold on.

Tryin' to steal our spotlight.
I'll show him a thing or two.

[Pushes Claudia back in her seat roughly]

[New York theme plays]

Start givin' the dough
I'm takin' it today!

I want to be a part of it,
money, money!

These valuable greens
are longing to stray (into my pocket).
And through the very heart of it---money, money!

I want to wake up in a bank that doesn't sleep!
To find I'm king of your hill, top of your heap!

These little dorm blues
are meltin' away.

I'm gonna make a brand new start of it
in that old green.

If I can spend it there!
I'll spend it anywhere!

It's up to me, money, money!

Claudia:
OOF!

Dr. Van Neuter:
Money, money!

I wanna wake up in a bank that doesn't sleep!
To find I'm number one, top of your list, king of your hill!

A numberrrr onnnneee!

Theeesseee liitttlleee dooorrrmmm bluuueesss!
Areee melttiiinngg awwaaayyy!

I'm gonna make a brrraanndd neeeww staarrtt offf itt!
in that--old green.

And if I can spend it there!
I'll spend it anywhere!

It's up to me,

Money.

Monneeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

[Audience boos at Neuter]

BRING BACK THE THEIF!

Claudia:
(Shakes head at the poor muppet)
You heard them...
Bring back the theif.

[The Count]

Well... If you say so...

Uncle D, help a bat brutha out.
*The dragon takes to the organ, electrifying it with a sort of shuffle-up surround spook sound eminating out of the ol' pipes.

Me, with a sort of raspy sinister soul voice:
:sing:Oh the shark has.
Pretty teeth dear.
And he shows his.
:big grin:Pearly whites.
Just a jackknife.
Has old Mac Heath babe.
And he keeps it.
Outta sight.

Now the shark bites.
With his teeth dear.
Scarlet billows.
Start to spread.
*Picking up the tempo.
Fancy gloves wears.
Old Mac Heath babe.
So there's never!
Nevah any trace of red.

Out on the sidewalk.
Sunny morning doncha know.
Lies a body there.
Just oozing life.
:eek:Egad!
Someone's sneakin'.
Round the corner.
Could that someone...
Be Mac the Knife?

There's a tugboat.
Down by the river doncha know.
Where cement bags.
Are drooping on down.
That cement is just.
It's meant for weight there.
5 will getcha 10 there.
O Mac he's back in town.

Now did ya hear bout Bobby Miller?
He disappeared oh yeah.
After drawing out.
All his hard-earned cash.
And now Mac Heath's babe.
Living like a sailor.
Could it be...
Our boy's done something rash?

Count, getting in on the act:
Now Suzy Tawdry!
Me: Oh Jenny Diver.
UD: Look out miss Lollie Lang yeah!
Me: And ol' Lucy Brown.
Yes the live ones.
Are the right bait.
Now that Mac's...
Baaaaaaaack intooooown!

*Song ends with a reprise of the last verse, with a longer version of the last two lines.

[BEAR]

*Good sigh. Okay, another portion of that thing's been sorted out. Now I can rest for a little while before taking up the cause for another round. Hey Count, I'm waiting for aFraggle DVD to arrive in the mail.
Count: Oh, what for?
I'm gonna watch a few episodes and see if there's enough to draft a sort of research into the judicial systems of the cavé dwellers, both Fraggle and Doozer alike. Might also watch the Fraggle Wars episode, could line up an interview with Beige if Erin can help me with that.
Count: Sounds interesting.

Yep... *Hits the sac for a good rest-up.

BTW: Ryan, Erin, Kim, Kyle, Bryan, Beth, I need your answers on the current application for residency here at the dorms. Thanks, I'll stay in contact with you all.


Bryan: Bert, would you send this note down to Ed for me?
Bert: No problem! (walks over to window where Bernice sits) Bernice, please take this down to room 1.
(Bernice takes note in beak)
Bert: Thank you! Air mail. Eh-eh-eh-eh!

(The note reads: Ed, I got 4 okays back from Beth, Kathy, Ryan and Kyle. I say yes too. I don't really know them yet, so how can I say no?)

[BEAR]

Prairie:sighPoor Lefty.He wants to be in a show so bad!
Rosita:Hey Prairie!You write plays!Why don't you put Lefty in one of yours?
Yeah...that's a good idea!
Prairie:It's a good idea.Except I haven't gotten any ideas of what to write a play about.My brain feels empty.
You'll come up with something. I have faith in you Prairie.Just keep thinking.:)

Cookie: (knocks on room 6) Hello, Prairie. Hi, friends. Prairie, me heard you writing new play. Me know what you can write about. Write about vegetables and excercise! Just a thought that popped in me head.

(meanwhile in room 29...)
Bert: By the way, Bryan, have you located Cookie Monster yet?
Bryan: No. Tony said he wasn't with him anymore.
Bert: He's got to be around somewhere.

[Winslow Leach]

Tony: That's your play, Lefty?

Lefty: Well, it's only da openin' number! (pulls an endless amount of napkins out of his pocket) I got da foist scene here someplace...

Tony: May I offer you some constructive criticism?

Lefty: Oooooh...riiiiight. Now ya wanna get involved. Before it was, "go away, Lefty," an' "not now, Lefty," an' "dis is not a musical, Lefty"...but now, on account a' hearin' how good it is, ya wanna get in on da bottom floor! Well...forget it! Dis is my baby, an' I ain't givin' ya a piece a' da pie!

Tony: Lefty, you can have it. I'm just trying to say...I don't think you should insult the audience.

Lefty: What do ya mean?

Tony (turns to an invisible camera; as an aside) Actually, his whole play is an insult to the audience! (to Lefty) Well...you say you took their money, and that there are no refunds. That's not exactly polite.

Lefty: Ya obviously don't know anyting about da tee-ater, kid! Tee-ater is all about da truth, right? An' I'm tellin' da audience upfront da truth...about how my show cost more dan a nickel, an' dey won't be able ta get it back, even if dey hate da show. Dat way some angry audience member can't drag me inta court, an' charge me wit stealin' his money fer givin' a bad performance! Dat's smart! Dat's tinkin' ahead! Riiiiiiiight!

Tony (after a beat) You're a loony.

Lefty: A loony who's gonna make a million bucks wit dis baby!

Tony: And what about the part where you start yelling at the audience after getting hit in the eye with a rose thorn?

Lefty: Oh, riiiiiight, riiiiight! Well, dat isn't in da script! Dat is what you call an ad lib, ya see? I was just imaginin' what it would be like if da audience started ta trow tings at me. But of course dey wouldn't do anyting like dat!

Tony heads for door.

Lefty: Where are ya goin'?

Tony: I'm going to grab some dinner. Wanna come with?

Lefty: Yeah...den I kin read ya da rest of my script!

Tony leaves the room, followed closely by Lefty.

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Scooter: Where is everyone?
Nora: Well, Storyteller and Beige both have mild cases of the pebble pox, so they both went to bed early.
Scooter: Ugh, that's not good...Boober's not going to want to come within 50 yards of this room. What about Erin?
Nora: She'll be back in a bit, she just called. (pause) She's got a really big assignment this week, she says.
Scooter: What's going on - did the water main on Henson Street finally blow up?
Nora: No...she said some big dignitary's coming to town, and she's got to do something on that.
Storyteller: (from hut) Oh, yes...reminds me of the time when...ah-choo! (sniffle) Does anyone have a tissue?
Beige: (from room) Get your own; I need my box for my own sinuses. (cough, snort)
Storyteller: Oh, even when you're bedbound, you Cave Fraggles are so selfish.

[Katzi428]

Cookie: (knocks on room 6) Hello, Prairie. Hi, friends. Prairie, me heard you writing new play. Me know what you can write about. Write about vegetables and excercise! Just a thought that popped in me head.

(meanwhile in room 29...)
Bert: By the way, Bryan, have you located Cookie Monster yet?
Bryan: No. Tony said he wasn't with him anymore.
Bert: He's got to be around somewhere.
Prairie:Cookie!That's a GREAT idea! I was kind of surprised you didn't want me to write about cookies.I'm glad you're thinking of healthy things!I'll give it a shot OK? Thank you!planting a big kiss on Cookie .
on the phone with Bryan It's OK Bryan...Cookie Monster's down here with us. Prairie's been in a writers' slump.So Cookie just gave her an idea to write a play about healthy foods and exercise.....no,I'm not joking! ...Right,I'll tell him that you're looking for him. Bye!hanging up phone Hey Cookie?Bryan's been wondering where you are.So you better go upstairs and let him know you're safe.

[The Count]

Actually Scooter... Boober's room is diagonally above yours, directly above Kate's (your next-door neighbors).
Hope Erin can send in her committee vote. Just need hers and Kim's to finalize the case.

*Uncle Deadly's voiceover: MC Dorms were brought to you today by the letter O for Oscar and by the number 18.
And to all of you out there, pleasant screams.
*UD blows out the candles, leaving the hall in total darkness.

[BEAR]

Actually Scooter... Boober's room is diagonally above yours, directly above Kate's (your next-door neighbors).
Hope Erin can send in her committee vote. Just need hers and Kim's to finalize the case.

*Uncle Deadly's voiceover: MC Dorms were brought to you today by the letter O for Oscar and by the number 18.
And to all of you out there, pleasant screams.
*UD blows out the candles, leaving the hall in total darkness.

(Calls Ed) Hey, Ed! Erin sent in her affirmative.

[Beakerfan]

Alex: I sense a disturbance in the force.......

Sweetums: *playing with a plastic lightsaber* What is it?

Alex: It seems..... fishy......

Bean: *eating goldfish crackers* It wasn't me!

Alex: No, I meant it seems.... screwy....

Sweetums: *the lightsabers batteries die* Well, what is it? *begins unscrewing the end to change the batteries*

Alex: If you guys are doing that on purpose, stop. It's driving me bananas!

Bean: *begins peeling a banana* I'm really hungry tonight.... want one?

Alex: Gahhh! You're driving me bats!

Sweetums: Ed has some of those, want me to borrow one?

Alex: No, I meant nuts! You're driving me nuts!

Bean: *finishes the banana and opens a can of mixed nuts* Gee, I'm still hungry... want some?

Alex: *buries her head in her pillows and screams*

[BEAR]

Bryan: So, I located Cookie Monster.
Ernie: Where was he?
Bryan: Well, I called Kathy and she said that he was down in her room. And get this, he was giving Prairie the idea to write a play about exercise and healthy eating.
Ernie: No kidding? Cookie Monster? Blue, furry, googly-eyed Cookie Monster?
Bryan: Yeah. Can you believe it? I better go get him.
Cookie: (walks in the door) Hello, gentlemen.
Bryan: Cookie, what have you been doing? Are you okay?
Cookie: Me fine. Why?
Ernie: We haven't seen you for a few days.
Cookie: Oh. Well, me went over to Mr. Tony's for dinner. Very nice meal. Then me just had sudden urge to go jogging. Me jog all the way to the park, then to end of town and back. Boy, me so exhausted. Me go to sleep now. Goodnight. (goes to bed)
Bryan: Jogging?
Ernie: Hmm...

[redBoobergurl]

Beth: It was fun watching the Oscars last night
Red: Yes it was, but man it was long
Beth: That's how those awards go
Mokey: It was a long night, Abby's still sleeping!
Beth: I wish I could be, but I have to go to work
Wanda: Thank goodness for coffee huh?
Beth: Yep! See you guys later!

[BeakerSqueedom]

[OOC: LMAO! HAHAHA! GOOD ONE, ALEX!]

Bunsen:
Beaker, you're unharmed!

Beaker:
(Sprays himself with a fire extinguisher)
Meep.

Bunsen:
Obviously.
Your turn, Claudia!
Neuter had his check up!

Dr. Van Neuter:
(Sprays himself, too)
He burns me up.
(Goes on fire again)

Beaker:
(Sprays Neuter)

Claudia:
(Blinks)
(Grabs for a jar)
You'll never get me, ye slimy gits!
Look what I got...

Bunsen:
A jar of...
(Looks perplexed)

Claudia:
I've got a jar of dirt!
I've got a jar of dirt!
I've got a jar of dirt
And guess what's inside it!
(Skips out of the room)

Dr. Van Neuter:
After the squirt!
(Combusts again)

Beaker:
(Sighs)
(Sprays him once more)

Claudia:
(Bouncy music plays as she runs across the hall)
I've got a jar of dirt!
I've got a jar of dirt!
I've got a jar of dirt!
And guess what's inside it!

Bunsen:
It's a truly amazing device!
Come back here and try it, won't you?
Look at the two.
They are happy and unharmed!

Dr. Van Neuter:
(Looks to Beaker)
-_-

Beaker:
(On fire)

Dr. Van Neuter:
(Soaks him)

Claudia:
(Eyes go wide)
I've got a jar of dirt!
I've got a jar of dirt!
I've got a jar of dirt!
And guess what's inside it!

(Runs into the elevator)

Bunsen:
To the stairs!

Dr. Van Neuter:
To the hospital!

Beaker:
(Nods in agreement to Neuter's words)
MEEP!

---

Claudia:
(In the elevator...hears corny music)
(Sighs)
Really, thought that song was extinct!

Bunsen:
(Randomly in the same elevator as her)
Affirmative.

Claudia:
HOLY MOLY!
(Sticks Bunsen in the jar)
[Elevator opens]
(Throws him into the hall, rolling)

Bunsen:
The....pain...Oh dear, talk about getting your finger stuck in a jar!
Aren't I in a pickle?

INSPIRED BY THIS, LOL:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=gRcj6CAhe7s (http://youtube.com/watch?v=gRcj6CAhe7s)

[The Count]

*Migraine... Hey Crazy Harry! Take care of this one wouldya?

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
This is my invention.
It's called Bunsen-In-A-Jar! xD
(Shakes it)

Bunsen:
(Face pressed up against the glass)

Claudia:
Thankfully muppets are flexible in almost every way.
(Takes Bunsen out)
See? Limp!

Bunsen:
(Groans)
Please, have mercy!

Claudia:
If lonely, take your desired muppet out of the jar.
Make cheap conversation!
Enjoy company!
Most of all, enjoy that muppety craziness.

Bunsen:
Claudia, this is insulting!
(Is stuffed back in)
OH!
You are an abusive little girl!

Claudia:
When you get tired of their fancy blurbs...
just stuff him/her back in! :3

Especially when they call you little girl.

Bunsen:
Let me out!
(Timidly)
I mean it.

Claudia:
If they keep talking...
push them into the closet.
:)

Bunsen:
Plea...se!

Claudia:
The only thing you shouldn't do is
tap the glass.

They hate when you do that.
(Tap, tap)

Bunsen:
(Twitches)

Claudia:
This one has no eyes, but you can still see his dislike for the...tapping.
TAP TAP!

Bunsen:
(Groans)
(Gets out of the jar)
You're in trouble, missy!

Claudia:
I am?

Bunsen:
(Pops his head out of the jar)
Indeed you are!

Claudia:
No. Yo-you...you can't do THAT to me!
I'm...I'm...TOO ADORABLE!

Dr. Van Neuter:
That's kinda true.

Beaker:
(Nods)

Bunsen:
....
....
....
(Snaps)
I've got...a jar...of...dirt....
(Goes crazy)
I've got a jar...of...ERGGHHH!
I've had it!
Confound it!

Neuter:
RUN, PEOPLE!
RUN!

Beaker:
MEE MEE MEE!

Claudia:
THE SCIENTIST HAS GONE MAD!

[The Count]

*Gives Claudia an A+ for her invention.
*Evil collector grin.

Shouldn't you be following that scientist/rabbit off to the next story segment?
You knowyou can count on me.

[Winslow Leach]

A dissheveled Tony staggers into his room for the first time since last night. Lefty has been reading his epic play, and Tony looks worse for wear, as if his head is about to explode. He falls facedown onto his bed. Lefty trails right behind, still reading from his many napkins. Lefty is still fresh as a daisy, and energetic. Despite reading all night, his voice is fine.

Lefty (reading from a napkin) ...an' den I run into da room, and rescue da beautiful princess! I untie her, an' she gives me a big kiss! But den I realize sometin'...her breath smells familiar! As I back away, gazing at her, she takes off her long blonde wig...da princess was really my brudder all along! I went trew all dat action an' adventure to save...my brudder? After I do one a' dese...(does a double-take)...I say...(finds another napkin and reads)..."please do try the clam dip, it is simply divine!"...oh wait...dat comes later...(finds napkin and reads)...I say, "if I known it was youse, I woulda left ya here to be eatin' by da giant T-Rex in da dungeon!" Den we get into dis big fight, see, what youse call action...as we fight, da audience is in suspense! Who is gonna win? Just den da coiton comes down. End of Act One. How da ya like it so far? Huh? Hey, kid? How da ya like it so far?

Tony: please...stop...

Lefty: Huh?

Tony: please...please...

Lefty: Whatcha sayin'?

Tony (almost in tears) ...stop...please...just...please...stop...

Lefty: I don't unnerstand. Okay. Act Two, Scene One...

[The Count]

*Good sigh, sort of. Well, at least the cast's started, again. Maybe someone will see it and reply. Though I don't think they will just yet, nothing new there as of now really. But when I add #2... Might talk to Squeeks or Bethers about a couple of these later.
Oh well.. *Rests up for afternoon classes.

[BEAR]

Cookie: (Emerges from his room with a jogging suit and sweat band on his head)
Ernie: Hey, Cookie Monster. You missed a good breakfast. Bryan made chocolate chip and banana pancakes.
Cookie: That's okay, Ernie. Me ate some fresh grapefruit. Juicy, delicious and healthy. Good for heart.
Ernie: Oh...Okay.
Bryan: Well, then have a seat, Cookie Monster. I am just about to fix some lunch.
Big Bird: Hey, Bryan? Do we have any birdseed cookies left?
Bryan: Yeah. Check the jar.
Cookie: You know, Big Bird. You really should be careful. A cookie is sometimes food, you know.
Big Bird: Huh?
Cookie: Me would sing song but there no time. Me got to eat nutritious lunch, then me off to gym. Bryan, can me have grilled salmon with lemon. Light on the butter and a side of steamed vege-tables?
Bryan: Uh...sorry, Cookie. We're out of Salmon.
Cookie: Oh. Then me just have salad. Dressing on the side.
Bryan: If you say so. (puts a bowl of salad on table in front of Cookie) There you are.
Cookie: Thank you very much. Oh, me need fork please.
Bryan: Oh. Sorry. (gives him a fork)
Cookie: (takes fork gently in his furry hands and delicately eats his salad. Mmm...very good. (he finishes his salad and gets up to leave) See you boys later. Oh, and name not Cookie Monster. Call me Healthy Monster. Me no even like cookies. Blech! Buh-bye!
Bert: Not like cookies?
Bryan: Now I know somethings up.

[Katzi428]

Prairie:Oh welcome,oh welcome to our lit-tle play...again we're so glad you could join us to-day.Though we love sweets,we hate to be rude...Today's play is all about healthy food.looking at me How's that so far,Kath?
Sounds good so far Prairie!Don't forget to work in exercise too though.
Prairie:Yeah..I know.This might take awhile.

[Beakerfan]

Sweetums: *comes running in* Guys! Guys! There's something *pant* wrong with Cookie Monster!

Bean: *eyes get big* You don't mean.....

Sweetums: *nods* He won't eat cookies! Not even something resembling a cookie! He's turned in a... a... Healthy Monster!

*dooming music plays*

Bean: What will become of him?

Sweetums: I don't.... know.

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
Goodness gracious!
What happened to dear Cookie?

Claudia:
He....won't....eat...cookies!

Dr. Van Neuter:
WOAH!

Beaker:
MEEP!

[Katzi428]

Prairie:Grrr...this is driving me crazy! I can usually figure out how to write a play easily.Now I'm stuck!
Prairie...try to take it easy. It's not like you have a deadline.
Prairie: I know but all of a sudden Cookie Monster's against eating sweets.Goodness knows how long that will last. Remember last year when Bryan punished him because he was eating too many sweets?Cookie tried anything and everything to get sweets.
Rosita:Yeah...I remember.But maybe Cookie has changed.
Prairie:Cookie? Change?I don't think so.
Prairie...just try to relax,OK?Maybe you'll come up with something tomorrow.
Prairie:Yeah...you're right.

[Winslow Leach]

Tony is now *under* the mattress on his bed; Lefty is standing on one of the desks, rapidly reading from his napkins. His energy and enthusiasm is higher than before.

Lefty: ...den I come flyin' into da room, like Errol Flynn in Robin Hood...I fight da bad guys wit two swords...swish! swish! swish! swish! Da bad guys resemble slices a' Swiss Cheese as dey fall to da ground! I rescue da fair maiden, and she is so grateful ta me, she takes me in her arms, and kisses me. Again, dough, I realize sometin' is wrong. I pull away, an' stare at her. Den I realize somethin'...dis gorgeous creature in fronna me isn't da fair maiden after all! I do one a' dese (does a double-take) and cry, "you ain't da fair maiden what I was tryin' ta save! You are my fadder!" My fadder does one of dese (does a double-take) an' says, "how did ya know I wasn't da fair maiden?" an' I say, "I'm not sure...but I tink da mustache mighta given it away!" Den my fadder starts to attack me...an' we start ta fight...who is gonna win dis battle of da titans? Da audience is in suspense. Will I come out on top? An' most importantly...will I find a woman who is not really a man in disguise?

Suddenly...da fight stops. I break away from my fadder...(jumps off desk) ...and I grab my co-star, Mr. Toitle! (Lefty takes Mr. Turtle out of his aquarium and cuddles him) I realize sometin' very important. I don't need no princess or fair maiden ta make me happy! I got Mr. Toitle! An' den I begin to sing an' dance wit him...

Music starts up. Lefty holds Mr. Turtle up to his face, and sings to him, swaying in time.

Lefty (sings)

Heaven! I'm in Heaven!
An' my heart beats so
Dat I kin hardly speaaaak!
An' I seem ta find da
Happiness I seek,
When we're out togedder
Dancin' cheek ta cheek!

Lefty hums and waltzes around the room, holding and caressing Mr. Turtle. Tony wishes he were anywhere but here.

Finally the music comes to an end. Lefty puts Mr. Turtle back, and resumes.

After dat what ya call interlude, da fight continues...I battle my fadder as da coiton comes down at da end of Act Two, Scene One!

So, how da ya like it? Isn't it exciting? Tommy? Tommy? Hey, Tommy? Aw, forgit it! I'm gonna go an' get an Orange Julius!

Lefty exits.

[The Count]

*Wonders if Bunsen has an antidote for that cottage chees opposite personality spread from last week.

Eh, I'm turning in guys.
UD: Turning into what?
*Slight chuckle from the spook.

Kathy or someone else can do the sponsors tonight, I'm not feeling up to it.

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *watching and listening from the trap door with a blank look on her face*

Sweetums: *closes Alex's mouth* You're catchin flies....

Alex: Huh? Oh... right. Lefty's play is.... um.... what's the word? It has potential. But it needs a LOT of help.....

Bean: Patrick patrick patrick patrick patrick paaaaatrick PATRICK!

Alex: Bean, stop that! I didn't tell you that so you would start doing it!

Sweetums: Yeah, Bean! It's annoying!

Bean: I'm just practicing!

Alex: Oh, come on! You don't seriously believe that goofball is going to become a dictator and magically make everyone look like him, and magically change the way words sound so they all sound like his name, do you?

Bean: Patrick... patrick patrick.

Alex: Bean! Seriously! I mean, yes the people at school are a little crazy, but you don't have to be one of them!

Bean: Patrick! *looks serious*

Alex: Auuggggggggh! *goes down to Tony's room and shuts the trap door*

Sweetums: Good goin little buddy! *grins*

The two boys hop onto the couch and begin playing video games.

[Winslow Leach]

Tony is still hiding under his mattress, wishing he could disappear into oblivion. He hears someone enter the room. He lays still, under his mattress, hoping that the person in his room doesn't see or hear him...

[Katzi428]

Prairie: Poor Ed. MC Dorms has been brought to you by the letters P and R and by the number 3.MC Dorms is a presentation of Muppet Central.Night everyone!

[Winslow Leach]

Under the mattress...

Alex? Is that you?

[Beakerfan]

*sits on the bed* Gee... sure is lumpy..... Tony? Where are you?

[Winslow Leach]

Alex? Thank goodness it's you!

(Tony crawls out from under the mattress and stands)

I haven't slept...I haven't eaten...I haven't done anything in over 24 hours except listen to Lefty read his play...

(Tony takes one step, and immediately falls to the floor, facedown)

Don't worry, I didn't even feel that...I can't feel anything...why is Bean repeating "Patrick" over and over anyway?

[Fragglemuppet]

Gobo: Say, what do you suppose is goin' on?
Wembly: I don't know Gobo, but it sure is noisey.
I'll go check it out. *goes two doors down, peeks in door, and then goes back to own room*
Gobo: Well?
Well, Tony seems to be face down on the floor, and he says he can't feel anything, and Alex is sitting on bed trying to get a break from her own roommates' mayhem. So in short, nothing to be too concerned about.
Wembly: Well that's a relief! For a minute there I thought Alex had turned back into one of those hairy monsters! *thoughtfully* Kinda like Sprocket, only bigger and not very nice.
Gobo: No no Wembly. That only happens when the silly creature moon is full.
Wembly: Phew! That's good!

[Beakerfan]

*laughs* Oh, you poor guy! *helps him up* Today at school one of my friends declared that he is going to rule the world one day, and among the many strange and demented aspects of this world is the fact that everyone would speak in the language of "Patrick". Essentially what would happen is they would speak english, but all the words would sound like his name. We were speaking Patrick off and on for about an hour (while a group of us discussed the laws of Patrick-land). I think it's really one of those you have to be there kind of things.

[Winslow Leach]

Oh...I see...(wobbily stands)...seems to have already rubbed off on Bean, eh? As long as I don't have to hear "da fair maiden turned out to be my fadder" or "da king of Chocolate Land got sick on accounta eatin' too much clam dip"...(shudders)...so cold...so cold...

But hey, what are you doing down here? Your roomies driving you nuts too?

[Beakerfan]

*buries face in hands* Like you wouldn't believe.......

From upstairs.....

Sweetums: Bean..... I am your faather!

Bean: *cringes* Noooo! No! Nooooo!

Something crashes

Sweetums: Join me on the dark side of the force!

Bean: Never!

Plastic lightsabers clash

Alex: *yells* Boys, don't make me go Palpatine on you! Break anything and you're in big trouble!

Sweetums and Bean: Yes Alex.....

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia yawns with her usual indifference to schedule; the others as routine in their studies as a clock with time. The quiet in the room grows ever bothersome, and the room appears bland.

The furniture drift endlessly like a boat at sea. Papers fly around the room; a grand disorder present. The four float about as if nothing wrong had ocurred...typical chaos at its lowest.

Claudia:
That machine of yours is affecting gravity again.

Bunsen:
Yes, yes it is.
Forgive me, Sir Isaac Newton.
(Sighs)

Tsk, tsk.
Thought I had that fixed already.

Dr. Van Neuter:
Nope.
Look, we have lunch!
(Cow flies in the room)

Bunsen:
(Glares at him)
That's Miss Gladys, you ninny!

Claudia:
Uh, hi!
(Pushes her out of the room)

Beaker:
(flies into the hall)
Mee mee!

Claudia:
Ok!
Just don't go through any windows.
You might float away.

Bunsen:
Tea, Claudia?

Claudia:
Thanks.
(Liquid flies out of the her mug)
(Follows her tea)

Bunsen:
Careful!
You're going to...

Claudia:
Huh?
(The liquid soaks his labcoat)

Bunsen:
Ah, going to put this in the washer.
Hope you are cheerful.

Claudia:
(Beams)

Dr. Van Neuter:
(Scoffs)
Sarcasm, Claudia.

[Winslow Leach]

*buries face in hands* Like you wouldn't believe.......

From upstairs.....

Sweetums: Bean..... I am your faather!

Bean: *cringes* Noooo! No! Nooooo!

Something crashes

Sweetums: Join me on the dark side of the force!

Bean: Never!

Plastic lightsabers clash

Alex: *yells* Boys, don't make me go Palpatine on you! Break anything and you're in big trouble!

Sweetums and Bean: Yes Alex.....

(OOC: ROFL!)

Gee, Alex. I had no idea Bean was training to be a Jedi. Erm...I just hope he doesn't lose a hand...

Hmmm...what's this?

Tony notices an envelope that has been slid under his door. He picks it up, opens it, and takes out a napkin.

It's a note from Lefty...

(reads)

Dear Tommy...dis is Lefty...(to Alex)...he actually wrote "dis"...(rolls his eyes and reads)...last night as I was drinkin' my Orange Julius trew a straw, I came up wit a really really really really really really good end ta my show. I was in da common room all night scribblin' it out on a buncha napkins. Dis play is gonna be a real pip! Yer gonna be sorry you ain't involved. I hired Newsie ta be da producer. Dat means he's gonna put up all of da money needed ta do da show. Riiiiiiight. An' I got Crazy Harry ta do da explosions...(stops reading) Explosions? (reads) Dis is gonna be da funniest musical comedy ever done on da stage. I found an old barn not too far from here. It looks abandoned, so I tink I'm gonna stage da show here. Newsie and Crazy Harry are gonna be wit me trueout day day tomorrow, so don't wait up fer us. Youse is da biggest sucker I know, 'cause ya wouldn't listen ta my play, Tommy. Well...ha, ha...da joke's on you! Riiiiiight, riiiiiiiight!

(to Alex)

What really amazes me is that he was able to fit all of this on one side of a napkin. At least my headache's gone! Want to watch "The Wedding Singer"?

[G-MAN]

Rizzo: Hehehe!
Me: Rizzo, what are you doing?
Rizzo: Pepe's gonna dress up as Yoda and trick Bean into getting food for us.
Pepe: And girls, Hokay!
Rizzo: Whatever (sighs) What a shrimp.
Pepe: I'm not a shrimp, I'm a King Prawn, Hokay!
Me: (sighs) The more things change, the more things stay the same.

OOC: This is me stating that I'm planning on staying in for the long haul, a lot of real life and laziness has came into my life recently and now that the two shows that I was practicing for around the same time is over with, I hope to get back into the Muppety goodness of this website.

[Beakerfan]

Alex: Hang on... I'd better go check on the boys.... *climbs up the ladder into her room* Boys, how's it - EEEEEE! *staring at a lifeless hand lying on the floor*

Sweetums: *holding his lightsaber* What? Oh. Bean, I told you to pick that up!

Bean: *holding his lightsaber in one hand, his other hand gone* I can't without putting down my lightsaber!

Alex: Sweetums! I can't believe you did that! And you didn't even... I mean... poor Bean.... what am I gonna do?

Sweetums: *rolls his eyes* Alex! *walks over and picks up the hand* This isn't even rabbit! It's human!

Bean: *holds up his "good" arm* Yeah, see?

Alex: Ohmygosh don't pick that up! *smacks it out of Sweetum's hand* That is disgusting! I can't believe you just left it there! Wait... it's.... human? *twitches*

Sweetums: Isn't it obvious?

Alex: *runs out the door and down the hall screaming*

Bean: *pulls his hand out of his sleeve* That was classic!

Sweetums: *laughing, his eyes watering* Oh man we got her GOOD! *wipes his eyes*

Bean: I can't believe she couldn't tell it's rubber! Ahahahaha!

Sweetums: *picks up his lightsaber* You ready?

Bean: Let's do this!

The dueling commences

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Show me your darkside, dudes!
I am Darth Claudious!

Ruler of many worlds!
:O

(Dresses in a blood-red robe, tatoos on her face)

BRING IT ONNNNN!

(Drags the frightened Alex in)

FIGHT BY MY SIDE!
AND TOGETHER!
WE WILL SEE THEIR "MOONS OF ENDOR"!

Bunsen:
I should hope not.

Claudia:
Outta this, Melon-head!

[Beakerfan]

Alex:Ruling side by side huh? Moons of Endor? Hmmm..... both intriguing and tempting.......

Bean: *from across the hall* Alex! Don't do it! Don't listen to her! Nooooooo!

[Winslow Leach]

Lefty runs into the room, out of breath.

Lefty: Hey kid! Kid! You alone?

Tony: Um...well, Alex went to check on her roomies. What's up?

Lefty: Bring 'im in, Harry!

Crazy Harry enters, carrying the Newsman's unconscious body. Harry throws the body onto Newsie's bed, and laughs. He sits on his cot, takes a stick of dynamite out of his pocket, and plays with it.

Tony: What happened?

Crazy Harry makes a whistling sound, punctuated by a loud SPLAT!

Tony: Huh?

Lefty: Er...da Newsman had a little accident...riiiiight!

Tony: Where? Tell me what happened!

Lefty: Well, we went ta dat ol' barn I told ya about in my note, right? We were gonna use dat place ta put on my show. Well, da place looked okay on da outside, but on da inside...man, da place looked like it was about to fall apart any minute! So, tinkin' only of my show, I had Newsie here climb up four rafters ta da very top of da barn...

Tony: Oh no...

Lefty: He didn't wanna at foist, but I was able ta convince him...right...right...I convinced him all da way to ta top! Den when he was all da way up, I shouted, "how is it up dere?" and da Newsman goes, "it seems pretty solid!" Den I said, "well, it don't look solid from down here! why don't ya stomp on da floor an' make sure it's solid!" Of course he didn't wanna, but I convinced him some more! I told him I was gonna put him in a big musical number up dere. So he begins stompin', an' I'm holding back my laughter, 'cause I can already tell what's gonna happen...I nudge Crazy Harry in da ribs, and he laughs, too!

Crazy Harry: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Lefty: All of a sudden, dere's dis loud cracking noise. Da next ting I know, da Newsman is fallin' trew da air! The joik stomped a little too hard, and he ended up fallin' all da way down. Of course, me an' Harry hadda move outta da way, on account a' we didn't wanna get hit by a fallin' object. So we gave 'im an empty place ta land, and he landed all right...full force! Knocked 'im out good. So dat was our evenin'.

Tony: You...you...you...

Tony storms out of the room, heading to the restroom, to get some towels and water for the Newsman.

Lefty (to Crazy Harry) What? What'd we do?

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Yes, yes.
Together! We will moon them!
>D JOIN THE DARKSIDE!

Beaker:
(Joins Bean)
MEEP!

Claudia:
Together, you and I learn to use the force.
(Sticks out her hand...)
Ok, hold on.
If Eddie can have electricity shoot outta his hand...
I think we can make things float.
(Face turns red)

Dr. Van Neuter:
Some ruler of all worlds.

Claudia:
(Directs her hand to him, choking him--utilizing the force)
Say what?

Dr. Van Neuter:
MY LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES!

Bunsen:
(Looks to Alex fearfully)

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *dons a midnight blue hooded robe. Her skin becomes pale - almost blue-ish; beneath the robe she wears a blue dress with fishnet tights, black boots, and fishnet gloves* Yes. Together, Claudious! We shall rule the universe! *cackles*

Sweetums: *clutches Bean tightly and fearfully*

Bean: *gasping for breath*

Alex: MwOo ahahaha!

[BeakerSqueedom]

Beaker:
(Clings to Bean's furry little body)

Bunsen:
My, my, aren't we having fun?
(Pulls Dr. Van Neuter out of the room)

Dr. Van Neuter:
(Shocked)

Claudia:
WHEEE!
I mean...um...RA...
Uh...

Ah forget it.
Ooo...LOVE THE DRESS!
Where'd you buy it? X3

[Beakerfan]

Alex: Oh, thanks! I got it at JC Pennies. It's all the rage. I just love how it cuts off at the knees in front and is long in the back don't you? And the ruffles at the bottom give it that extra zing.

Bean: Guys.... *gag*..... Guys.... I.... I can't..... *gag* breathe.....

[Winslow Leach]

Newsie is in his bed, still unconscious. Tony is mopping the newsman's brow with a wet towel. Lefty is reclining in his hammock. Crazy Harry is watching in fascination at a lit stick of dynamite in his hand.

Tony: He hasn't come out of it yet...

Lefty: Aw, yer still woiried about dat guy?

Tony: If I were you, Lefty, I'd be worried, too.

Lefty: Yeah...if he dies, dat means I have no producer fer da show.

Tony: If he dies, it means you go to jail! Both of you!

Lefty: Hey, I didn't push him!

Crazy Harry (giggles) I didn't touch the guy, hahahahaha!

Tony: Yes, but you egged him on. You goaded him into climbing up to the rafters. You knew all along he was going to fall.

Lefty: Heh heh, you shoulda seen him plummet to da ground, like a sack a' potatoes!

Crazy Harry: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tony holds the Newsman's limp arm, then picks up a limp leg.

Tony: Look at him! Look how limp he is!

Lefty: Confidentially, Tommy...we're Muppets! We're all limp in da limbs!

Crazy Harry: Limp in the limbs! Hahahahahaha!

BOOM!

Harry's stick of dynamite explodes. Harry has blackened ash and burn marks on his face and clothing. He is stunned for a moment, then begins laughing again.

Tony: I'm...going...Loony Tunes!

Tony begins frantically humming "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down," the Loony Tunes theme, and starts bouncing madly around the room, alternately humming the song, and "hoo-hooing" like Daffy Duck.

[Erine81981]

Grover: *comes running breathing hard*

Did you run from work?

Grover: No. *breaths hard* I ran...*breathing hard*...from the park.

And?

Grover: You will not believe what i saw.

What?

Grover: Cookie Monster running!

And?

Grover: He had on a joggers suit and was eatting...get this...celery.

Celery? Not Cookie?

Grover: That is right.

Are you sure it was Cookie Monster?

Grover: I promise you.

Murray: *walks in with Bruce* Hey Kyle.

Bruce: Hello.

Hey guys. Grover has soemthing to tell ya'll.

Bruce & Murray: Ok.

Grover: I saw Cookie Monster jogging in the park eatting...

Murray: A cookie. He always eats a coo...

Grover: That is not what he was eatting.

Bruce: Then what?

Grover: A piece of celery.

Murray & Bruce: Celery?

Yes! That is weird isn't.

Bruce: He's proubley just playing a joke.

But maybe it's a good thing. He's been needing to lose some weight.

Grover: And just maybe we will not have to hide our cookies any more.

Oh how much better that would be. No more having to hide them and just leaving them out in the jar or on the couch or just about anywhere. *sighs, relaxes on the couch*

[The Count]

Hey Claudia... That's Uncle D who shoots blue lightning out of his hands, not moi.
BTW: Have fun schtorming the castle.
*Waves at Clauds and Alex.

Eh, they're all dead.
Just need Kim to chime in with her vote and then the case can be closed favorably.

[BEAR]

(Cookie Monster is lying in bed with a midnight snack...a peice of celery)
Cookie: It okay. It negative calories. *crunch crunch crunch*


Snuffy's voice: Muppet Dorms were brought to you today by the number 7 and by the letter H. Muppet Dorms are a production of Muppet Central. Goodnight.

[redBoobergurl]

Red: Hey guys? I just saw Grover in the hallway and he said that Cookie Monster was at the park running
Mokey: Maybe he felt like getting some exercise
Red: And he was eating celery!
Beth: Um, well it crunches like a cookie...
Abby: Big Bird said Cookie Monster doesn't eat cookies anymore
Wanda: What? Why?
Abby: He said he is the Veggie Monster
Beth: Hmm, that does seem odd. Well, I'm sure Bryan's got it all under control. I can't imagine Cookie Monster never eating cookies anymore.

[The Count]

*Sends an imperial order to Claudia to get an antidote to Bunsen's opposite cottage cheese spread for Cookie Monster immediately... Or face the dire consequences.

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Wow, your mind-altering cheese was requested.

Bunsen:
...............
Um, could you repeat that again?
Someone......
wants something...
from us?

Beaker:
(Loses color, falling over)

Dr. Van Neuter:
Yup, for the first time...
Your job was not a waste.

Bunsen:
(Shakily hands her a slice on a plate)
Te-te-tell Mr. Cookie Monster that...
Ch-cheese is part o-o-f a nutritio-

Claudia:
I get it.
Get some rest, Bunnie.
This nightmare will go away soon.

Bunsen:
Oh, I'm sleeping?

Claudia:
Nope.

Bunsen:
(Faints)

[The Count]

Huh... Can someone faint if they're in an anti-gravitationally confined room? Oh well, there are better things to question.
*Goes back to generally goofing off, waiting to hear from my cyber-sister on that message sent to her earlier, if she gets the chance to respond of course... I know she's busy, what with literally going crazy a couple of hours ago...
*Chuckles.

[BEAR]

Ernie: Bert? Oh, Bert?
Bert: What is it, Ernie?
Ernie: Bert, I'm really worried about this whole thing with Cookie Monster. I mean, what if he never eats cookies again?
Bert: Ernie, this may be a good thing for the Cookie Monster. This could be a whole new frontier for him. Eating healthy and losing some weight. He may even live longer.
Ernie: Yeah, but if he starts eating all of our healthy foods, like he used to with the cookies, and then there won't be any left for the rest of us.
Bert: Ernie...
Ernie: (dramatically) We could lose all our fruits...
Bert: Ernie...
Ernie: (even more dramatically) We could lose all our vegetables...
Bert: Ernie...!
Ernie: (even moore dramatically) We could lose all our oatmeal!
Bert: Ern...oatmeal? Did you say oatmeal?
Ernie: That's right.
Bert: Bryyyyaaaan! You have got to put a stop to this Cookie Monster nonsense. We may never eat oatmeal again!
Bryan: Bert, we are taking care of it. Oatmeal? Bert, you really need to calm down.
Bert: But...I...
Bryan: Honestly, you're as bad as Ernie.
Bert: (lowers brow) *sigh*

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Erin: (typing at computer) Cookie Monster doesn't eat cookies anymore? Something is amiss in the universe. (pause) How are your red spots, Storyteller?
Storyteller: (from hut) Red and itchy...and Beige's tail is still really ticklish.
Beige: So much for the diagnosis of mild Pebble Pox...and that medicine they make us take is awful.

(door opens)

Scooter: Boy, for an eight-year-old, she's a really good extortionist...and I didn't know ten boxes of Coconut Swirls and Three-Nut Crunches weighed so much.
Nora: I know...she sold thirteen boxes to five of Dad's coworkers alone...want to get that box of Orange Delights before it falls?

(Scooter and Nora stumble in, carrying several boxes of Scouting Girl cookies - not to be confused with Girl Scout cookies.)

Beige: (in doorway from room) Whoa, the mother lode...(cough, choke) Headache...
Erin: Oh, is it that time of year again?
Nora: Yes. Heather, my little sister, and the rest of Scouting Girls Troop #5749 are selling cookies.
Scooter: And Nora got sweet-talked - get it? - into buying a bunch. (drops several boxes onto floor) You should see all the boxes stacked in the garage at the Brandons' place.
Erin: Toss me a box of the Mint Dreams, if you please. (catches one) Thanks.
Storyteller: It's a shame Cookie Monster is off cookies for the time being...he could really help us out with this.
Beige: (heading for pile) In the meantime...hmm, these look good.
Nora: (sorting boxes) Stay away from the Licorice Splits - those things are repulsive.
Scooter: So why'd you get them?
Nora: 'Cause Heather whined about them stacking up year after year, and the troop leader really wants to move them out.

[Winslow Leach]

On TV...

Announcer: Here is a Muppet Newsflash! Sitting in for our regular newscaster tonight is...Lefty Cronkite...

Pause. The news desk remains empty. Voices are heard offscreen.

Voice (frantic whisper) Get out there!

Lefty (frantic whisper) I don't wanna! I'm scared!

Voice (frantic whisper) Just GO!

Lefty is shoved onscreen. He wears his usual outfit. He sits behind the news desk, picks up his story, and shakily reads it. He is extremely nervous.

Lefty (reading) Er...here is...here is da Muppet Newsflash...(looks off) Lefty Cronkite? What the--

Voice (frantic whisper) It sounded more sophisticated!

Lefty: Riiiiiiiiiight....(reads) Here is da Muppet Newsflash...in local news, many innocent citizens are bein' cheated outta dere well-oyned money by a strange, shady character, who is sellin' dem pre-chewed bubble gum, a product he claims ta have invented fer people quote "too lazy to chew" unquote.

As Lefty continues to read, a picture of him appears on the screen behind him. Of course, the little sneak thief is oblivious.

Lefty: Police are on da lookout fer a strange-lookin' man wit shifty eyebrows, a felt fedora and trenchcoat. He has green skin, and often appears outta da blue, complete wit his own teme music. Anyone who sees dis strange character in dere neiboyhood are advised ta call da police, and not try ta approach him yourselves, or else youse could be outta a nickel, an' stuck wit a wad of pre-chewed bubble gum...

Two Muppet Policemen enter the frame.

Policeman #1: Lefty Cronkite, you have the right to remain silent! Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Lefty: Hey, git yer hands offa me! I'm a law-abiding citizen! An' my name ain't Lefty Cronkite! I'm just...whaddaya say...substitutin' fer a friend who suffered a nasty fall yesterday!

Lefty is handcuffed.

Lefty: But I didn't do nuthin'! (sees himself on the screen, but does not recognize his own face) I'm as innocent as dat guy! Hey, he looks kinda familiar...does he play professional badminton, or somethin'?

Policeman #2: Let's go...

Lefty (as he is being led off) I'm innocent! I'm innocent! J'Accuse! J'Accuse!

Policeman #1: Shaddap!

Lefty: Hey officer, kin I interest ya in some pre-chewed chewing gum? I have a lotta yummy flavors...

The news set is empty once again.

[BEAR]

Bryan: (On the phone with Ed) Cottage cheese spread? What do you mean cottage cheese spread? If you say so. I'll send him down. Thanks. (hangs up) Oh, Cookie Monster!
Cookie: One more lap! (running on a tread mill in the middle of the room)
Bryan: What the...? Where did that treadmill come from?
Cookie: Me built it.
Bryan: You built it? Since when does Cookie Monster know how to build electronic machinery? Oh my God, it's getting worse. Not only is he a health nut, he's a brainiac too! I don't care if you eat all the cookies and the jars they come in! I don't care if you don't know the difference between a spoon and a shovel! I want my furry little cookie craving slow moving buddy back! You're coming with me! (grabs Cookie Monster by the scruff of the neck and drags him down to Bunsen's lab) Okay Doc. Do something!

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
(Still floating)
You'll have to pardon our dust, Bryan.
Or should I say...lack of gravity.
(Chuckles)

Claudia went over to your room.
I guess she'll realize you are not there and run back up here!

Hello, Mr. Coo-
(Sees him in a whole new light)
You've changed alot, haven't you?
This is urgent!

Beaker! Get Claudia!
She's got the last piece!
I haven't anymore, you see!

Beaker:
(Floats out of the room)
MEEEEP!

Claudia:
I AM COMING!
MY GOSH!

Bunsen:
Cookie, we insist that you take a bite of this delectable...snack.
It's very good for your health.

Here, take some.

Claudia:
(Hands Cookie the cheese)
(Whispers to Dr. Van Neuter)
If he refuses...
Sic him.

[BEAR]

Cookie: (sniffs it) Hmm...what is it? Cottage cheese? If you put it on a nice juice slice of apple, then perhaps I will try it.

[BeakerSqueedom]

Dr. Van Neuter:
Why that li-

Claudia:
(Covers Neuter's mouth)
So prissy!

Bunsen:
Alright, Cookie!
(Fetches him an apple)

Claudia:
(Cuts him a slice)
(Bumps against the wall)
There. That better, Cookie?
:D

Dr. Van Neuter:
hmph

[Muppet Newsgirl]

(in doorway to lab)

Erin: So that's what it was - good thing none of us has eaten any cottage cheese lately.
Scooter: I just wonder if it worked.
Nora: Only one way to know.

(A box of Scouting Girl Mint Dreams is set on a table in the lab, well within reach of Cookie Monster, and the three non-Pebble-Pox-infected inhabitants of room 7 quickly step out of the room.)

[The Count]

Hey Erin... We helped Scooter and Nora with some of the boxes of her little sister's scouttroop. BTW: Count couldn't help but notice the troop's number, I know the significance of it.
We were wondering if you had any Pumpkin Patch, Devilfood Fudge or Batty Batterscotch. We'd gladly pay for a box of each, I remember those school selling drives myself.

Sure hope Cookie Monster's back to his normal self.
Oh, and I just remembered... *Leaves two teacups of a murky color on the nightstand for Erin to take back to her room. That's dooganberry tea, Uncle Deadly brewed it from Boober's last stock, it's the best cure for Beige and Storyteller.

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Erin: Thanks, Ed...oh, but the block number for Richard's quilt is 5765. So it's close, anyway.
Scooter: And we'll get the tea off to Storyteller and Beige...and thanks again for helping with the cookies!
Nora: Let's see...Pumpkin Patch, Devilfood Fudge, Batty Butterscotch...yeah, I think she's got some of those. I'll call her and check.

(trio heads off with tea for Storyteller and Beige)

[The Count]

Thanks for correcting me on that Erin... I know that was a very special project you and your mom made and it's very close to your hearts. Please LMK if you have the cookies, no worries if not. Gotta a few resident calls to tend to, have a good night.
*Dials Alex's number.

[Muppet Newsgirl]

(That's cool, man, don't fret about the number.)

Nora: (on phone with Heather) All right, you've got them...so one each of Pumpkin Patch, Devil's Food Fudge and Batty Butterscotch...yes, you heard me, just one each. And don't you dare try to sneak any Licorice Splits in there, understand? (hangs up)
Scooter: (snacking on Orange Delights with a glass of milk) So, does she have them?
Nora: Yeah, she says they'll be in the lobby to pick up tomorrow morning.
Erin: (still eating Mint Dreams) She's really eager to offload those Licorice Splits, isn't she?
Beige: I'd take some of those over what the Cave's Oldest Fraggle used to make us take for Pebble Pox...it was this chalky white stuff that smelled like...
Storyteller: Now, Beige, we've got mugs of duganberry tea, which is far more effective than anything the Cave's Oldest Fraggle could dole out. Down the hatch. (she and Beige consume tea)

[Erine81981]

*runs in* You won't believe your eyes. Cookie Monster is refurring to himself as I.

Grover: You mean not more "Me this" and "Me that" stuff?

Yep.

Grover: He has to be stopped.

Herry: What is this all about Cookie Monster not being him self?

He's been eatting other's veggies and fruit.

Herry: No cookies?

Grover: None at all.

Herry: He's not trying to eat any?

Nope.

Herry: This is terrible!

We know but at the moment i heard Bryan was taking him to Bunsan and Beaker.

Grover: I sure do hope Claudia do not mess their test up.

Yep. We might need to help out with that. We'll head up there now.

Me, Grover and Herry head over to Claudia's room where Bunsan and Beaker are trying to help out Bryan with Cookie Mosnster's problem.

[Beakerfan]

Alex: Guys, I got a call from Ed earlier. And tomorrow I just might have a surprise for you two!

Bean: A surprise! Oh boy! I can't wait!

Sweetums: *scratches his head* I'm not sure if I should be excited or worried.....

Alex: *sits down and begins making herself a crown of flowers*

Sweetums: Well.... I'm going to bed.

Bean: Me too! Sweetums, will you read me a story!

Sweetums: You bet little buddy! *grabs one of Bean's story books*

[BEAR]

Cookie: (eats the cottage cheese apple and a jolt comes over him.)
Bryan: Cookie Monster? Look at me. (Cookie's pupils loosen and become googly again)
Cookie: What going on?
Bryan: Are you okay?
Cookie: Me a little hungry.
Bert: I need to hide my oatmeal! (runs off)
Bryan: Oh, Bert.
Cookie: *sniff sniff* What that sweet smell?
Bryan: Oh, just Girl Scout cookies. You wouldn't want them though, would ya?
Cookie: (double take) Who you think me am, Veggie Monster? Come to Papa! (dives into boxes of cookies classic Cookie Monster style)
All: (laughing)

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
(Whispers to Claudia)
It it only temporary.
What should we do?
Should we take further action?

Claudia:
Just laugh and smile, Bunnie.
Just laugh and smile.

Bunsen:
Agreed.

Beaker:
Moowee.

Bunsen:
Shhh.

[Winslow Leach]

Tony is packing his bags.

Lefty: Hey kid...where ya goin'?

Tony: I'm leaving.

Newsman: Leaving?

Tony: Yeah. I need a break. Not from you guys...just...I need to leave here for a while.

Newsman: What will we do without you?

Tony: What did you do without me before I came here? You guys will be alright. You're in charge, Newsman. Make sure these two don't get into trouble.

Newsman: When will you be back?

Tony: I really don't know. I just need to get away...it's been a great month rooming with you. All of you. Maybe we'll meet again. Maybe not. But I certainly found this a unique experience.

Tony picks up his bags, and grabs his typewriter.

Tony: So...goodbye, guys. Bye, Lefty. Don't take any wooden nickels. Newsman, try stories that are grounded in reality, and don't deal with two-headed chickens or whatever. And Harry...well...just be yourself...well, this is it, guys. It was a fun ride, but now I have to go. I'm sorry.

Lefty: Take it easy, kid.

Newsman: Yeah. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Crazy Harry grins.

Tony: You too, Harry. Well...goodbye. This was certainly one of the most memorable experiences of my life...

Tony leaves the room, and quietly shuts the door.

His three roomies stare after him.

Beat.

Lefty: I know what'll cheer us up! An invisible ice cream sundae party!

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *does double take as she sees Tony leaving* Tony? You're leaving? *eyes well up with tears*

Sweetums: Aw, its ok Alex. I'll bet he'll be back!

Bean: Yeah, sure! He'll be back real soon Alex.

Alex: *hurries into Tony's room and starts un-packing all of his luggage*

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
(Eyes well up with tears)
:cry:

[Beakerfan]

Sweetums: *watching Alex un-pack Tony's things*

Bean: Hey, uh, Sweetums? We've got company....

Floyd: *enters* Heeey! It's my main rabbit! How's it goin? *sees Sweetums* Fuzzzayyyy! What's happenin man?

Sweetums: *motions for Floyd to be quiet* Now isn't the greatest time....

Janice: *enters, followed by Animal* Wow! Like, this place is rully groovy! *stands next to Floyd and watches Alex* Wow, like, how sad.....

Floyd: You said it. Sometimes you just can't fight the man....

Animal: *nods and looks serious*

[The Count]

*In Animal voice, quietly: Tony go bye-bye? No go! No go! No go!

[Katzi428]

the 3 girls in Room 6
Tony...come back!:cry: :cry: :cry:

[redBoobergurl]

*Red barracades the front door of the dorms*
Red: Tony, you will have to get through ME first!

[BEAR]

Snuffy: And me! (stands outside the front door)

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
And....and...
ME!
(As a rabbit)

Yeah, yeah, rub it in.
Put em up! Put em up!
(Sticks up her paws)

[BEAR]

Snuffy: Umm, Red? Why does Claudia look like a rabbit?

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Freak accident?
[Smiles cheesily]

[The Count]

*Tries to get back home, but the front doors are blocked.

Hey... Could someone please move this Snuffleupagus? It's um, blocking...
Oh... I'll just use the side entrance through the... Um, Uncle D, could you please use your golden lockpick? Rully want to come in and kick back after a good-sunshiny black stormy day.

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Scooter: We're gonna miss you, Tony.
Nora: Yeah, come back soon, won't you?

(a few boxes of Scouting Girl cookies are pressed into Tony's hands as a parting gift)

(later, Scooter and Nora are back in room 7, munching on more cookies)

Scooter: So Storyteller and Beige have gone to bed?
Nora: Yeah, they're feeling a little better, but they still need to rest. (eats another cookie and downs it with milk) Where's Erin?
Scooter: She's off covering that ambassador's speech downtown, but she should be back in a bit. (picks up box) This is a new kind - did Heather make you buy more cookies?
Nora: You bet; there's three new kinds this year. Citrus Whispers, Crunch Times...
Scooter: Oh, are those the ones with toffee in them?
Nora: Yeah...and Sugar Rushes. Eat one of those and you'll be shaking all day.
Scooter: I think of all of them, I like the Orange Delights best.
Nora: Oh, yeah...the Mint Dreams are the most popular but I've loved Orange Delights since I was a kid.

[Fragglemuppet]

*The fraggles are asleep, and I am sitting at my computer and thinking to myself.* Awww darn! I'm so busy during the day that by the time I get the chance to relax and do something fun, it's too late at night! Oh well, I'm off tomorrow. Maybe I'll do something with the boys, or see if the other dormies want to do anything. Speaking of which, it was so sudden how Tony just up and left! Poor Alex! I'll miss him too; he was such a good friend. I hope he comes back here soon.
*I change into PJs and climb into bed.*

[BEAR]

Hoots: (outside Kate's window) Don't worry, my Fraggle-lovin friend. He'll be back. I can feel it down in my feathers. You just get to sleep. Mind if I play you a soft jazzy lullabye on my sax, here?

(he starts to play the sleepy-time Sesame theme as we here Bryan say...)

Bryan: Muppet College Dorms were brought to you today by the letter T and by the number 4. Muppet Dorms are a production of Muppet Central Forums.