Muppet Email System

[Beth C]

Muppet Mail

Summary: Ever wonder what the muppets would do with Email?

(feel free to add on now that I've gotten it started)

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To: All Muppets

From: Kermit the Frog

Subject: New email system installed

Hello everyone,

As you can all tell, the Theater has now installed an Email system. I would like all muppets to use this instead of all those post-it notes you used to leave on my desk. Most of those got lost anyway or thrown out with the trash.

Remember to check your Email box daily, please. All important announcements will be there from now on, including work schedules.

Thanks,

Kermit
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To: Kermit the Frog

From: Scooter

Subject: Testing Email system

This is a test.

Scooter

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To: Scooter

From: Kermit the Frog

Subject: Re: Testing Email system

It works, Scooter. It was already tested before it was installed.

Kermit

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To: Kermit the Frog

From: Miss Piggy

Subject: The Email system

Great idea Kermie! Now I can send all my love notes to you faster!

Kissy kissy.

Piggy
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To: Kermit the Frog

From: Scooter

Subject: Re: Re: Testing Email system

Sorry.

Scooter
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To: Kermit the Frog

From: Beauregard

Subject: Post it notes

I didn’t throw them away. At least I don’t think I did.

Beau

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To: All Muppets

From: Kermit the Frog

Subject: Schedules are now up

Everyone go check the online schedules. They were posted minutes ago. It will state which day you are working and who you will be working with.

Kermit

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To: Fozzie Bear

From: Gonzo

Subject: Working together

Well, I guess it’s you and me on Tuesday. Which skit do you want to try?

Gonzo the Great
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To: Gonzo

From: Fozzie Bear

Subject: Re: Working together

Can we make it a funny one? Wocka wocka!

Fozz
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To: Beauregard

From: Kermit the Frog

Subject: Re: Post it notes

Don’t worry about it Beau, it’s not a problem anymore.

Kermit

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To: Kermit the Frog

From: Miss Piggy

Subject: Re: Schedules are up

Who was the one that decided that I was going to work with Bunsen and Beaker??? I better not find out it was you!

Piggy
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To: Kermit the Frog

From: Beaker

Subject: Schedules

Meep me mee me Meep! Mee mee meep meeepy!

Beaker

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To: Bunsen Honeydew

From: Kermit the Frog

BCC: Beaker

Subject: Schedules

>Meep me mee me Meep! Mee mee meep meeepy!

Could you translate this please?

Kermit

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To: Miss Piggy

From: Kermit the Frog

Subject: Re: Schedules

You asked for more assignments on the show. Don’t complain when you get them.

Kermit

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[Super Scooter]

To: Kermit the Frog

From: Scooter

Subject: Testing Test Email System.

Testing test email system now. Does it work?

Scooter

[Beth C]

To: Fozzie

From: Great Gonzo

Subject: That skit we have to do

Well, funny is not what I had in mind. How well can you ride a motorcycle?

Gonz

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To: Scooter

From: Kermit the Frog

Subject:Re: Testing Test Email System

Scooter! It was tested already! Didn't you recieve my previous email?

Kermit

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To: Kermit the Frog

From: Miss Piggy

Subject: Stupid work assignments

>You asked for more assignments on the show. Don’t complain when you get them.

That's taking it a bit too far don't you think? Well, I'm not doing it. You can't make me.

Piggy

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To: Beaker

From: Bunson Honeydew

Subject: Re: Re: Schedules

We need to come up with something for Miss Piggy in the upcoming show. Do you think we should use her to test our new Muppet Makeup that doesn't wear off?

B. Honeydew

----------------------------------------------------

To: Kermit the Frog

From: Bunsen Honedew

Subject: Re: Re: Schedules

>Meep me mee me Meep! Mee mee meep meeepy!

Could you translate this please?

You couldn't understand that? He says he was visited by Piggy and she wasn't happy.

B. Honeydew

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[Klonoa]

To Kermit the Frog:

INTERNET! INTERNET!

--Animal

________________________________

To Kermit the Frog:

Can I have DSL? Ethernet card? Cable modem? Dial up? A couple of tin cans on a string?

--Joe the Armadillo

[Beauregard]

To: Miss Piggy

From: Gonzo

Subject: Sweet nothings

Nothing, nothing, nothing, toffee, candy, sweet,
I think I love you Miss Piggy,
But do you love me? Oh tweet?

Someone-who-loves-you

PS. Can you see who this is from in the From? I hope not...*shivers*
Gonzo

PPS. Ooops, shouldn't have signed my name there.
someone-who's-hiding

[Beth C]

To: Weirdo

From: Miss Piggy

Subject: Your obsessions

Kindly keep them to yourself. I have no desire to be romantically linked with you.

Piggy

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To: Animal

From: Kermit the Frog

Subject: Ineternet

No, Animal, you do not have Internet, just Email. If we can keep the show going, we might be able to add the Internet later.

Kermit

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To: Joe the Armidillo

From: Kermit the Frog

Subject: Email

You have Email access already.

Kermit

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[Fozzie Bear]

To: Fozzie
From: Great Gonzo
Subject: That skit we have to do

Well, funny is not what I had in mind. How well can you ride a motorcycle?
Gonz

To: Gonzo
From: Fozzie
Subject: Re: That skit we have to do.

I ride a motorcycle as well as I tell jokes! Um--can't we just stick to the banana sketch?

Fozzie
----------------------

To: Fozzie
From: Gonzo
Subject: Re: Re: That skit we have to do.

That's a GREAT idea! We'll do the banana sketch using motorcycles!

What's the banana sketch?

Gonz
-------------------------
To: Gonzo
From: Fozzie
Subject: Re: Re: Re: That skit we have to do.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE BANANA SKETCH IS?! It's...it's...

I forgot. Let me check my notes. Oh, and Kermit says no more motorcycles after what happened last week. That was pretty wild how you landed in the band. You might have broken something if Animal hadn't broken your fall...

And your motorcycle.

Fozzie
-------------------------
To: Fozzie
From: Gonzo
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: That skit we have to do.

Whatever. I'll bring my cannon instead.

Gonz
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To: Gonzo
From: Fozzie
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: That skit we have to do.

I changed my mind. I'm doing an act with Robin. It'll include less pain.

Fozzie
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To: Kermit
From: Gonzo
Subject: Cannon

Kermit, Can I bring a cannon in for my act, and can I use Robin?

Gonz
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To: Gonzo
From: Kermit
Subject: Re: Cannon

I don't mind, don't aim it at the audience; and, NO! You CANNOT "USE" Robin!
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To: Kermit
From: Gonzo
Subject: Re: Re: Cannon

Darn.
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To: Robin
From: Gonzo
BCC: Kermit
Subject: Cannon Fun

Hi, Robin. Ever been blown from a cannon? Want to be?

Gonzo
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To: Gonzo
From: Robin
Subject: RE: Cannon Fun

Never allowed to, Gonzo! Sounds great! When?!

Robin
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To: Robin
From: Gonzo
BCC: Kermit
Subject: Re: Re: Cannon Fun

>>Never allowed to, Gonzo! Sounds great! When?! Robin

As soon as your uncle Kermit says you can!

GONZO!
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----------------------
To: Everyone
From: Kermit
Subject: New Theater Rule

Everyone: The new Theater Rule is that NOBODY WILL USE MY NEPHEW ROBIN AS PART OF A CANNON ACT (this also includes any act where pain may occur). Cannons are allowed on the stage, just not aimed at the audience, as long as the act is tasteful and artistic. Karate Chops are also banned from use in, around, and away from the theater. Motorcycles are still not allowed on the stage regardless, even if it will land on Animal or the two old guys in the balcony!
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To: Kermit
From: Gonzo
Subject: Re: New Theater Rule

Darn.
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To: Kermit
From:Robin
Subject: Re: New Theater Rule

Darn.
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To: Kermit
From:Fozzie
Subject: Re: New Theater Rule

My friend the Frog,
Those two old guys in the balcony are named Statler and Waldorf! You know that!
Fozzie
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To: Fozzie
From: Kermit
Subject: Re: Re: New Theater Rule

>Those two old guys in the balcony are named Statler and Waldorf! You >know that!

Yes, I knew that, Fozzie. I was trying to be a little funny in my rant.

KtF
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To: Kermit
From:Fozzie
Subject: Re: Re: Re: New Theater Rule

Oh! Gotcha!
WOCKA WOCKA!! HAAA!!
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To: Kermit
From: Piggy
Subject: Re: New Theater Rule

>Karate Chops are also banned from use in, around, and away from the >theater.

Chicken.
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To: Piggy
From: Kermit
Subject: Re: Re: New Theater Rule

>>Karate Chops are also banned from use in, around, and away from the >>theater.

>Chicken.

Pork chops! HA HA!! >: (
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To: Kermit
From: Piggy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: New Theater Rule

>Pork chops! HA HA!! >: (

That's okay, Kermit dear. I know you're only talking brave right now because it's on e-mail; but, we'll soon meet in person and when we do I'm going to SYFFITF.
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To: Piggy
From: Kermit
Subject: Re:Re: Re: Re: New Theater Rule

I already know that SYFFITF stands of "Stomp Your Froggy Face Into The Floor," Piggy. I was only playing rough and I'm really sorry. I didn't mean what I said and I hope you'll forgive me?

Please.

Kermit
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To: Kermit
From: Piggy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: New Theater Rule

>I didn't mean what I said and I hope you'll forgive me? >Please.

HA! That's right! BEG FOR IT, FROG!!
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To: Piggy
From: Kermit
Subject: Re:Re: Re: Re:Re: Re: New Theater Rule OUT OF OFFICE REPLY

Hi, everyone. I will be gone from the office for an undeterminable amount of time.

[Beauregard]

To: Kermit
From: Beauregard

Subject: Re: New Theatre Rule

Can you add me to the list of not to be hurt items?

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To: Piggy
From: Beauregard

Subject: Kermit and vou(?) vow(?) voi(?)

What is between you guys, because I'm getting really muddle headed about it all.

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To: Rizzo
From: Gonzo

Subject: Kitchen raid

Swedish Chef is out shopping. Wana raid the kitchen?

Gonzolo

[Klonoa]

To: Kermit the Frog
From: Swedish Chef
Subject: Bork! Bork! Bork!

Wir in mit der e-mailen und mir schoen HTML um click click click click click...

___________________________________

To: Kermit the Frog
From: Rizzo the Rat
Subject: The mouse

Hey, should I be offended that our computers have a mouse?

___________________________________

To: Kermit the Frog
From: Waldo C. Graphic
Subject: I'm an attachment!

Hey look, I'm attaching MYSELF to this e-mail message! Whoo-ha!

[Krazedmuppet]

To: Kermit
From: Stadler
Subject: E-mail

What's the difference between a Muppet and a computer?
__________________________________________________ _

To:Kermit
From: Waldof

You only have to punch information into a computer once!

Do ho ho ho ho!

__________________________________________________ _

To: Kermit
From: Stadler

Do ho ho ho! Gee I like this e-mail thing, now we can heckle you 24/7! and the show dosent even have to be going!

__________________________________________________ _

[Super Scooter]

To: Kermit the Frog

From: Scooter

Subject: Re: Re: Testing Test Email System

>Scooter! It was tested already! Didn't you recieve my previous email?
>
>Kermit

Okay, boss. Okay!

..... Test, test.

[oOoanimaloOo]

To: Kermit

From: Animal

Subject: Internet

Sorry Me like email

EMAIL EMAIL EMAIL EMAIL EMAIL EMAIL EMAIL EMAIL EMAIL

Animal

[McFraggle]

To: Animal

From: Kermit

Subject: Re: Internet

That's good you like e-mail, just don't eat the computer Animal.

[Beauregard]

To: Clueless
From: Uncle Deadly

Subject: Sneaking

Hi, hi, hi, what are you thinking 'bout my little plan to sneak a little virus into the e-mail system?

Deadly

PS. I have attached the virus for you to look at.

-------------------------

To: Uncle Deadly
From: Clueless

Subject: Re: Sneaking

Hi, wait the keyboard isn't workafas asdhumng ajklsjj sdjjf 888 *** hhsuihaf &$$f asldkfk klda;;sdlf afdk virus sdfjas messed kasjdf everydfasdk'k'k up.

Stupid'd'd'd k'k'k'keyboard'd'd'd no long'g'g'gg'er work'k'k'king'g'g'g'

Clul'l'l'll'ess

-----------------

To: Clueless
From: Uncle Deadly

Subject: Re: re: Sneaking

He, he, he

Deadly

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To: Uncle Deadly
From: Crazy Harry

Subject: What?

You said you wanted some bombs for *sniggers* blowing things apart.

What ones? How many? When?

And why did you send me an attachment?

Crasy Harry

[Fozzie Bear]

>To: Animal
>From: Kermit
>Subject: Re: Internet
>That's good you like e-mail, just don't eat the computer Animal.
--------

To: Kermit
From: Animal

Subject: Re: Internet

EAT COMPU

{COMMAND ERROR CANNOT COMPUTE}

[oOoanimaloOo]

To: All

From: Kermit

Subject: Mischife

Just so everybody knows I get a copy of every email sent so if anything happens I'll know

[Beth C]

To: Kermit

From: Piggy

Subject: You

Where are vous hiding? I haven't seen you all day. Believe me, I've been looking everywhere - including the Muppet Labs where I was 'detained' by Bunsen wanting to try out some makeup of some sorts.

Which reminds me - I don't like my cheeks green even if YOURS are.

Come out, come out little froggie whereever you are.

Piggy
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To: Piggy


From: Kermit

BCC: Rowlf

Subject: Re: You

I'm not hiding anywhere. Rowlf's piano needed a tune up.

I think you look great in green. BTW Bunsen says it's not permanent, it will wear off in a week or two.

PS - Rowlf, I didn't break anything while I was in there, did I?

Kermit

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To: Kermit

From: Rowlf

Subject: Piano problems

Uh, Kermit, can we hire someone to fix this? Since your last visit, the piano will only play when I POUND on the keys and something is rattling around inside.

Rowlf

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To: Kermit

From: Piggy

Subject: Re: Re: You

>BTW Bunsen says it's not permanent, it will wear off in a week or two.


A WEEK?!?!?! Are you out of your little froggie mind?? I demand you stop by my dressing room NOW! Or else!

Piggy

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To: Piggy

From: Kermit the Frog

BCC: Bunsen Honeydew

Subject: Re: Re: Re: You

> Or else!

Or else what?

Kerm

PS - Hey Bunsen - Do you have that antidote yet? It seems my limbs might be depending on it.

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To: Kermit the soon to be disected Frog

From: Piggy the VERY angry PIG

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: You

> Or else what?

Or else your show will be without one Pig and you will be minus two legs.

Piggy

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To: Kermit the Frog

From: Bunsen Honeydew

Subject: Antidote

Well, Beaker has found a way to reverse the effects of the 'makeover' we gave Piggy. We can restore her cheeks to her previous rosy color.

Have her stop by the lab and I'll fix her right up.

Oh- I hope she doesn't mind, it does tend to make some hair fall out and the rest turn purple, but at least her cheeks will be back to normal. I've been assured by my very able assitant that the hair color/loss only lasts a month.

B. Honeydew

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To: Piggy

From: Kermit the packing his suitcase Frog

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: You

>Or else your show will be without one Pig and you will be minus two legs.

Gulp!

I stopped by your dressing room but you weren't there. Now where did YOU go?

Oh, BTW, Bunsen has an antidote for the 'green skin' problem. Just stop by the labs and he will give it to you.

Also, please don't pay attention to his new assistant - Barker - he's the guy that's almost bald with purple hair- he will only be helping Bunsen for a month and then Beaker will be back.

Kermit

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To: Kermit

From: Angry Pig

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: You

I was in the bathroom. You didn't knock very loudly, now did you?

I will go see Bunsen today. Then YOU will make dinner plans for the TWO of us to make up for YOUR little mistake here. Right Sweetheart?

Piggy

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To: Kermit

From: Rowlf

Subject: Piano problems still

I can't seem to find you anywhere. My piano is still having problems, now it make an 'OW' sound whenever I hit the keys. Please send a specialist soon.

Rowlf

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To: Kermit the VERY soon to be DECEASED FROG

From: YOU KNOW WHO AND I'M NOT HAPPY WITH MY NEW HAIR

Subject: ARRRRRGH!

KERRRRRRRRRRMIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

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To: Piggy

From: Kermit

Subject: Dinner plans

I made the plans as you requested. Unfortunately the media found out and there will be cameras everywhere at the restaurant. Please dress accordingly.

You will be escorted by Gonzo. I am unable to make it as I am rather tied up at the moment with some unforseen piano problems. Please, enjoy yourself fully. I can't wait to see the pictures in tomorrow's paper.

Your dearest frog,

Kermit

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[Beauregard]

To: Gonzo
From: Kermit

Subject: Dinner Plans

Hi Gonz,

Piggy asked me to make dinner plans for two, so I've reserved a table in your name. Hope that's alright, Piggy will meet you there.

Kerm

-------------------

To: Gonzo
From: Piggy
Bcc: Kermit

Subject: Fwd: Dinner Plans

>You will be escorted by Gonzo. I am unable to make it as I am rather tied up at the >moment with some unforseen piano problems.

WHAT! GOnzo, don't you DARE get any thoughts from this little mess up.

How DARE Kermie DO THAT to ME? I mean LEAVING me with a CREEP likee you?

I promise I will MEAT you there.

Piggy

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To:Kermit
From: Gonzo
CC: Piggy

Subject: Cannons...

Hi. I am not going to dinnre, because I have to practise the new act with Robin.

Gonzo

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To: Gozo
From: Kermit

Subject: Re: Cannons.....

What nwe act with Robin?

Kermit

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To: Kermit
From Gonzo

Subject: Re: re: Cannons....

Er, nothing.

Gonzo

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To: Beaker
From: Bunsen

Subject: Piggy

What do you think we should do? Oh twiddle my thimbs, and hiddliy hoo how.

Bunsen

--------------

To: Bunsen
From Beaker

Subject: Re: Piggy

Meeper, meep, meeping!

Beaker

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To: Beaker
From Bunsen

Subject: Re: re: Piggy

Alright, alright, no need to sware.

Bunsen

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To: Gonzo
From: Kermit

Subject Re: re: re: Cannons....

I spoke to Robin, and he say that you're planning something.

You better not be.

Kermit

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To: Piggy
From: Crazy Harry

Subject: Gunpowder

Hi, hi, hi.

Why do you want the gunpowder left under Kermit's bed?

Harry

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To: Bunsen
From: Gonzo

Subject: Disguise

Busen, do you have a good disguise? Kermet's pretty mad at me about using Robin...

Gonzo

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To: Gonzo
From: Bunsen

Subject: Re: Disguise

Purple hair do?

Bunsen

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To Stadler
From: Waldorf

Subject: Joke

What's black and blue and green all over?

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To: Waldorf
From: Stadler

Kermit once he's been found by Piggy!

Do, ho, ho, ho.

Stadler

***

[floydnjanicefan]

To: Sesame Street Gang
From: Kermit and the Muppets

Subject: Greetings, Sesame Street Friends

We miss you! :cry:

-Everyone here at the Muppet Theatre

[Beth C]

To: Kermit

From: Robin

Subject: No fun

I never get to have any fun around here. You never let me do any of the exciting skits. When is it my turn?

Robin

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To: Robin

From: Uncle Kermit

Subject: Re: No fun

Be glad! You think it's fun to have a half-bald, purple haired pig mad at you? Don't grow up too fast, please.

Kermit

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To: Kermit

From: Piggy

Subject: This is too much

I can't take this humiliation any longer. I know you think this is funny, but it hurts my feelings. To think you would subject me to the media while my hair (what is left of it) is shocking purple is the cruelest you have ever treated me.

I"m leaving.

Piggy

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To: Piggy my sweet

From: Kermie

Subject: I'm sorry

Please, forgive me. I didn't know this would get this way out of hand. I've called off the media. I'm sorry.

Please don't go.

Kermit

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To: Kermit

From: Fozzie

Subject: Missing Pig

Hey, Kermit, have you seen Piggy lately? I went to drop off her lunch at her dressing room but she wasn't there to sign for it.

Fozzie

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To: Fozzie

From: Kermit

Subject: Re: Missing Pig

No, Fozzie, I haven't seen her. I'm looking for her as well. If you do find her, please tell her I need to talk to her.

Kermit

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To: Piggy my darling

From: Your froggie friend

Subject: Please read this!

Piggy? Please answer this email. Bunsen has found an antidote for the hair-raising problem you have. Please meet me at the Muppet Labs.

Kermit

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To: Kermit

From: B. Honeydew

Subject: Miss Piggy

Kermit, she never showed up today for the solution we arranged. What shall I do with it? Beaker does not want long, blonde hair.

B. Honeydew

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To: Piggy

From: Kermit

Subject: Read this

Piggy? Piggy? Why are you not writing back? I'm getting worried here.

Kermit

---------------------------------------------------

[Beauregard]

Fro: Piggy
To: Kermit

Subject: Get Lost

Hellllllo,

GET LOST!

Piggy

--------------

To: Beth C
From: Beau

Subject: Game

Are we the only ones playing???

[Beth C]

To: Beau

From: Beth C

Subject: Re: Game

I dunno.. sometimes I wonder

Beth C

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To: Piggy

From: Kermit

Subject: Getting Lost

I'd rather not. Please will you let me see you? I can fix your hair back to it's previous glamorous state.

Huggles,

Kermit

---------------------------------------------------

To: Kermit

From: Piggy

Subject: Re: Getting Lost

Huggles? Oh alright. I could never resist huggles from you.

Piggy

---------------------------------------------------

To: Everyone

From: Kermit

Subject: Don't tease the Pig

I've found Miss Piggy and gotten her to calm down. Under NO circumstance are you to make any reference to her once PURPLE hair. Ignorance of this rule will result in unemployment.

Kermit the (still in one piece) Frog

---------------------------------------------------

To: Rizzo

From: Gonzo

Subject: Purple suits

Heh, heh heh. Hey, you want to wear purple for tonight's act?

Gonzolo the daring

---------------------------------------------------

To: Beauregard

From: Kermit

Subject: Stage Curtains

Please REMOVE those PURPLE ones before Piggy shows up!

Kermit

---------------------------------------------------

To: Kermit

From: Scooter

Subject: Lunch

Hey, Boss, lunch just arrived but I was unsure who ordered the Grape Juice, Purple Jellybeans, and Grapes. It was marked to be delivered to Miss Piggy, but I wasn't sure.

Scooter

---------------------------------------------------

To: Rizzo

From: Pepe

Subject: Music

Hey I managed to get that copy of Purple People Eater for you, hokay?

Pepe

---------------------------------------------------

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Kermit
From: Beauregard
Subject: Purple Paint

When do you want me to pant Miss Piggy's dressing room purple?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Kermit
From: Statler
CC: Waldorf
Subject: Purple Pig

What do you call purple pig?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Kermit
From: Waldorf
CC: Staler
Subject: Purple Pig

Miss Piggy as a lab experiment!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Kermit
From: Statler and Waldorf
Subject: Purple Pig

Dohohohohohohohohohohohohoh!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Gonzo
From: Robin
CC: Crazy Harry
Subject: Cannon Act

Instead of using a cannon, how about we attach ourselves to rockets instead?

Harry, do you think you can get us some?

Robin

[Beauregard]

To: Kermit
From: Pops

Subject: Purple top.

I just got a message from someone that I am meant to hand out purple t-shirts to all tonight's guest, is that right?

-----------

To: Scooter
From: Dr Suess

Subject: Purple eggs and ham

I am sorry, dear Scoot,
But the point really is mute,
I shall not write that on a train, or in a plane or in the rain, or with a goat on a boat etc...
Thank you though,
For you suggestgo,

Dr Suess

----------

To: Purple Scaley Monster
From: Sweetums

Subject: Tonight's appearence.

Hi Bro,

I just heard you is popping in for an appearence tonight.

Congratulations for being choosen to come.

See you later,
Sweetums

----------------
To: Sweetums
From: Robin

Subject: Kermit

Hi Sweetums, can you tell Uncle Kermit to let me perform with Gonzo? He might listen to you more than me.

Your Friend,
Robin Frog

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Gonzo
From: Robin
Subject: Rocket Routine

Hi Gonzo,

I got Sweetums to help me persuade Uncle Kermit and he agreed for us to do the Rocket Routine. I also got Crazy Harry to donate a few rockets.

__________________________________________________ ____________

To: Dead Frog
From: Disgruntled Pig
CC: Everyone
Subject: Enough is Enough!

Dear Kermie,
For the past few days I have noticed the amount of purple items that have taken over the theater and it is starting to agitate moi. I want vous to understand that I am a very patient pig, up until moi's temperment starts to flare!

So unless vous wishes for Doc Hopper to making a house call, I suggest you stop the purple gags.

The same things goes for everyone else! I know the Humane Society would love to come by and pick a few people up.

Au revior!
__________________________________________________ _______________

To: Hamhock
From: Floyd
Subject: FooFoo

Like your little canine companion? By the way, they came for her last week!

Heehee

__________________________________________________ _______________

To:Everyone
From: Kermit
Subject: Vacation

Due to the amount of chaos at the theater, I have decided to take an early vacation and will thus be gone for the next six years. I leave Crazy Harry in charge of the theater and has my permission to blow things up.

__________________________________________________ ______________

To: Everyone
From: The REAL Kermit
Subject: Very Funny

As much as I would like to go on vacation, I am not and whoever sent out that e-mail is in big trouble!

__________________________________________________ ______________

To: Kermit
From: Crazy Harry
Subject: Re:Very Funny

Did somebody say blow up?!

__________________________________________________ _____________

To: Crazy Harry
From: Kermit
Subject: Re: Re: Very Funny

Don't even think about it!

[Beauregard]

To: Rowlf
From: Kermit

Subject: Help

Control tips needed. How can I stop this e-mail system from creating total caoes(sp?)?

[Beauregard]

To: Singing Food
From: Chef

Subject: Ver de blip?

Ven sing, singery kitchen tonighty, berg? Ya?

Chef

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Chef
From: Singing Food
Subject: Re: Ver de blip?

Sorry we don't speak mock Swedish, but the lobsters in cowboy hats do.

[Beauregard]

To: Lobsters
From: Chef

Subject: Tell de blip, blip, singgggggin foooood

Cun de Singggggin fooood, ven sing, singery kitchen tonighty, berg? Ya?

Cheffy

[Beth C]

To: Everyone

From: Kermit

Subject: New Schedules are up

Please check your emails for the new acts for the week. And the new guest stars. Any objections should be directed to my email. Oh, and the Rocket act has been CANCELLED. Yes, CANCELLED. No changing my mind on that one.

Kermit

---------------------------------------------------

To: Kermit

From: Piggy

Subject: Guest Star

Kermie.. how in the world did you book J K Rowling? Does this mean we can do a Harry Potter show? That would be a lot of fun. Who would be whom on the show?

Piggy

---------------------------------------------------

To: Kermit

From: Gonzo

Subject: Guest Star

Ooooo! A Harry Potter guest! Can I be Voldemort?? Huh? Can I?? Can I?

Gonzo the dark wizard

---------------------------------------------------

To: Kermit

From: Fozzie

Subject: Guest Star

What's this about a Harry Potter show? Who could I be? Who are you going to be?

Foz

---------------------------------------------------

To: Uncle Kermit

From: Robin

Subject: Rocket Act

Darn.

Robin the disappointed frog

---------------------------------------------------

[Beauregard]

To: Everyone
From: Kermit

Subject: J K Roling

I never said J K Roling, I said that our guest James Kirk (JK), rolling down a hill would be in one of the acts...

Sheesh...

So, it's not Pottor, it's Star Trek this week, 'k?

Kermit the befuddled Froggy

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Uncle Kermit
From: Robin
Subject: Magic Act

How about Gonzo and I do a magic act to replace Harry Potter?

[Beauregard]

TO: Robin
From: Kermit

Subject: re Magic act

If you're carefull.

----------

To: Gonzo
From: Robin

Subject: Magic Act

Hi, Gonzo, Kermit says we can to a magic act. How about we materialise a connon on stage, and then shoot ourselfs out'a it?

Robin

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Robin
From: Gonzo
Subject: Magic Act

Can do! But we'll need to plan it carefully so Kermit won't get suspicious.

[Beauregard]

To: Gonzo
From: Robin

Subject: Re: re:magic act

I agree.

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Everyone
From: Miss Piggy
Subject: Beautiful moi

I woke up this morning and it has come to my attention, that I am the most beautiful in the world and if anyone dares to stick one more item related to the color purple in my room...someone will have to make out their will!

[Beauregard]

From: Chef
To: Piggy

Subject: Vot?

Deer Peegy,

Whoot youur tolkin' bout?

Howdeever, the purple plum delight is ready eef that ees what you are wantering.

Chef

[Beauregard]

To: Scooter
From: Rowlf

Subject: Piano Music for tonight's show

Do you know if it was Kermit that changed the wording from Feeling Blue, to Seeing Purple?

Or was that someone else?

Rowlf

[Beauregard]

To: Camilla
From: Zany the penguin

Subject: Purple dye?

Quack, quack, quack?

Zany :zany:
----------------------
From: Camilla
To: Zany

Subject: Re: Purple dye?

Burk, burg, buck, buck, buck!

Camilla
-----------------------
To: Camilla
From: Zany

Subject: Re: re: Purple dye?

Quack! Quack, quack, quack? Quack! Quack...

Zany :zany:
------------------------
To: Zany
From: Camilla

Subject: Re: re: re: Purple dye?

Buck, buck, burg, buck, burck, burk, buc!

Camilla
-------------------------
To: Kermit
From: Zany

Subject: Frd: re: re: re: Purple dye?

Quack, quack, Camilla...

Zany :zany:

>Buck, buck, burg, buck, burck, burk, buc!
>
>Camilla

[Beauregard]

To: Camilla
From: Kermit
Bcc: Zany

Subject: Re: frd: re: re: re: Purple dye

Camilla, if you don't stop planning to spray you and the penguins all purple, you shall be sacked.

Kermit

[Beauregard]

To: Gonzo
From: Camilla

Subject: Frd: re: frd: re: re: re: re: Purple dye

>>Original message

>Camilla, if you don't stop planning to spray you and the penguins all purple, you shall be sacked.
>
>Kermit

Burk, buck, buurk.

[Beauregard]

To: Kermit
From: Gonzo
Bcc: Zany

Subject: Frd: frd: re: frd: re: re: re: re: Purple dye

Hi Kermit,

Leave my girl-friend alone. Camilla was mearly agreeing with an idea that Zany suggested in the first place. It wasn't her idea. Zany wanted to get her in trouble.

Gonzo
-----------------
To: Gonzo
From: Kermit
Bcc: Camilla

Subject: Re: frd: frd: re: frd: re: re: re: re: Purple dye

Hi Gonzo,

Sorry. My missunderstanding. I am just trying to keep Piggy from chopping my into froggy-flavored-mince-meat. 'k?

Kermit
-------------------
To: Kermit
From: Gonzo

Subject: Re: re: frd: frd: re: frd: re: re: re: re: Purple dye

Thanks Kermit. Just to prove you're sorry. Say that Robin can help with my new act.

Gonzo
------------------
To: Zany
From: Kermit
Bcc: Gonzo

Subject: Re: re: re: frd: frd: re: frd: re: re: re: re: Purple dye

Zany! You'll pay for this!

Kermit

[McFraggle]

To: The Electric Mayhem
From: Dr. Teeth

Subject: Gig

Hey guys, we've been requested to perform this coming Saturday, what do you guys think?

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Robin
From: Gonzo
Subject: Magic Act

Everything is a go!

TO: Gonzo
From: Robin
Subject: Re; Magic Act

We perform this Saturday!

[McFraggle]

To: The Electric Mayhem
From: Dr. Teeth

Subject: Gig

Hey guys, we've been requested to perform this coming Saturday, what do you guys think?

To: Dr. Teeth
From: Janice

Subject: Re: Gig

Fer sure.

[Erine81981]

To: Rowlf

From: FooFoo

Subject: Bark Bark Woof Woof

Woof Rowlf,

Woof woof woof bark bark woof bark bark woof.
----------------------------------------------
To: FooFoo

From: Rowlf

Subject: Re: Bark Bark Woof Woof

Hi FooFoo,

I see what ur saying but I can't understand. Now let me get this stright. He barked then woofed then barked. I think I get what ur saying. Bark bark woof woof then he woof woof barked.
-------------------------------------------------------

To: Rowlf

From: FooFoo

Subject: Re: Re: Bark Bark Woof Woof

Woof Rowlf,

Woof woof woof woof
--------------------------------

To: FooFoo

From: Rowlf

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Bark Bark Woof Woof

Hi FooFoo,

Now I get it. Woof woof bark bark then bark bark woof woof woof. Thanks for letting me know.

[Beauregard]

To: Piggy
From: Anon

Subject: Purple...

Do you know what Scooter is planning?

Anon E Mouse

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Gonzo
From: Robin
Subject: Re: Magic Act

We need to find a few tricks to do. Do you know anyone who does magic?
Wasn't there a magician on Sesame Street who used to do magic we could ask for help?

[Beauregard]

To: Gonzo
From: Marvo the Purple Magician

Subject: Magic Act

Hello, to you little frog, and weird thing, I am, um, who am I? Ah yes, I am Marvo the Purple Magician, I was of the most understanding that you, little frog and strange creature, are needing some...um, what was I saying? Ah yes, you, little frog, and mildly crazed little whatever, are of the neding some magic help to be done for? Am I correct in my assumptiones?

Marvo the, um, Purple, um, er, erm, Magicdoer

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Marvo the Purple Magician
From: Gonzo
Subject: Re: Magic Act

Yes, thank you Marvo we are in desperate need of a magic act. We are going on this Saturday and we need to learn some tricks by then. Also we need to be able to materialize a cannon onto the stage. Do you think you can help us do that?

Thanks!
Whatever

[McFraggle]

To: Gonzo
From: Fozzie
Subject: Comedy Act

Do you want to hear my new comedy act?

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Fozzie
From: Gonzo
Subject: Re:Comedy Act

Depends whether its funny or not.

[McFraggle]

To: Gonzo
From: Fozzie
Subject: Re: Re:Comedy Act

Oh, you can believe me, it's funny. Wokka Wokka.

[Infinity Sirius]

To Fozzie
From: Gonzo
Subject: Comedy Act

Okay, shoot.

[McFraggle]

To: Gonzo
From: Fozzie
Subject: Comedy Act

Okay, Why did the chicken cross the road?

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Fozzie
From: Gonzo
Subject: Re: Comedy Act

To get to the other side?

[Beauregard]

To: Stadler
From: Waldorf

Subject: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Well, why?

-------------
To: Waldorf
From: Sadler

Subject: re: Why did the chicken cross the road

To go passed the Muppet theatre?

Stadler
---------------
To: Stadler
From: Waldorf

Subject: Re: re: Why did the chicken cross the road?

No, guess again.

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Everyone
From: Kermit
Subject: Purple

I think we all know Piggy has had enough of the purple jokes...will somebody please help me escape from the broom closet?

[McFraggle]

To: Kermit
From: Beauregard
Subject: Re: Purple

I'm on my way, Kermit.

[Beauregard]

To: Beauregard
From: Piggy

Subject: Vois.

I'm on my way, Beauregard. 'bout time this joking ended.

[McFraggle]

To: Piggy and Beauregard
From: Kermit

Subject: I don't care

I don't care who comes, just get me out of here.

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Gonzo
From: Robin
Subject: Magic Tricks

Are you ready to do our magic act now? I think we can do it! I get to fly!

[Statler]

To: Kermit
From: Stadler
Subject: E-mail

What's the difference between a Muppet and a computer?
__________________________________________________ _

To:Kermit
From: Waldof

You only have to punch information into a computer once!

Do ho ho ho ho!

__________________________________________________ _

To: Kermit
From: Stadler

Do ho ho ho! Gee I like this e-mail thing, now we can heckle you 24/7! and the show dosent even have to be going!

__________________________________________________ _
To: Standler
CC: Woldof; Kermit
From: Statler
Subject: Who are you?

Hey Standler and Woldof...Who are you? Doh, ho ho... Me, STATLER and WALDORF were wondering why you are impostering us?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
To: ALL MUPPETS
From: Kermit
Subject: RE: who are you?

Listen gang, there are imposters using muppet e-mail! Please forword all imposter mail to me.

[McFraggle]

To: Kermit
From: Sam The American Eagle
Subject: Kids These Days

It just goes to show the way society is going, when people are stealing the identities of senior citizen muppets.

[Beauregard]

To: Peggy
From: Cermit

Subject: Imposters

Where? What imposters?

[Beauregard]

To: Kermit
From: Sam the Hawk

Subject: Re: re: who are you?

What are you talking about? I am not an imposter...or, if my lawyer was still talking to me...

[McFraggle]

To: Kermit
From: Foozie the Bear
Subject: Imposters

Somebody said there were imposters here.

[McFraggle]

To: Foozie the Bear
From: Fozzie the Bear
Subject: Who are you?

Who are you? Hey, would you like to hear a joke?

[Beauregard]

To: Ralph the Dog
From: Cammera the Chicken

Subject: Imposters

Burk, burg, burg!

------------------
To: Crazy Hairy
From: Sweat Ums

Subject: No Imposers

Imposer not nenny of!

------------------
To: Leak Hogfroth
From: The Sweedish Chief

Subject: Who ha, ha!

He, ho hum?

Chief

[McFraggle]

To: Kermit the Frog
From: Miss Pudgy
Subject: Me An Imposter

I'm worried someone may think I'm an imposter Kermie.

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Gonzo
From: Robyn

What are you doing?

[McFraggle]

To: Robyn
From: Gonzo

Who are you and what have you done with my little green buddy?

[Beauregard]

To: Little green budy
From: Dr Swinepork

Subject: Experiments

Going as planned. Can take over Muppet Show tommorow. *evil laughter*

Swinie

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Dr. Swinepork
From: The Real Bunsen Honeydew
Subject: Watching

I know what you are doing and I shall prevent you from taking over the Muppet Show! Happily assisted by my assistant beaker.

[Beauregard]

To: Kermit the Dog
From Dr Swinepork

Subject: Frd: Watching

<I know what you are doing and I shall
<prevent you from taking over the
<Muppet Show! Happily assisted by
<my assistant beaker.

Uh, oh, busted!

Swinie

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Everyone
From: Bunsen Honeydew
Subject: Imposters Dealt With

Hello Everyone,

I am sorry for the recent hostile takeover of the imposters from Outer Space. I was able to teleport them back to their space ship and it accidentally blew up somewhere outside the Milky Way Galaxy. We can now return to our normal Muppet Show schedule.

[Statler]

To: All Muppets
From: Kermit
Subject: re: Imposters Dealt With

Hi-ho everyone. I just want to thank Dr. Honeydew. Yea! The Muppets are saved again!
On another note, has anyone noticed the big mouse around here? I herd he is going to steal the muppet theater! I Think his name is mickey, and he answers to some guy name Eisner... Any Ideas on how to deal with this?

Kermit

[McFraggle]

To: Kermit
From: Fozzie
Subject: Re:

Thanks for getting rid of the imposters.

[Katzi428]

To: Sesame Street Gang
From: Kermit and the Muppets

Subject: Greetings, Sesame Street Friends

We miss you! :cry:

-Everyone here at the Muppet Theatre
To:Kermit & The Muppets at Muppet Theater
From:An Old Friend From Sesame Street! :-)
Hi everybody! It's me! Little Prairie Dawn! :)
I've missed you all too! Sorry I haven't been around, but things on the Street have been kinda busy.Elmo is driving meCRAZY!! Oh well...I guess I'll put up with him. He's only a little shrimp (sorry Pepe) If you all ever need my help over at the theater, let me know,'K?
Hugs to everyone!
P.D.
PS....Um Kermit? Has the Chef's cooking gotten any better? I got ptomaine poisoning from eating one of his so called "Speshools Uv Der Day" the last time I was there! :eek:

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Everyone
From: Kermit
Subject: SS E-mail

I didn't know we were connected to the SS e-mail system.

[Katzi428]

To: Everyone
From: Kermit
Subject: SS E-mail

I didn't know we were connected to the SS e-mail system.

To:Kermit:
From:Prairie Dawn
Subject:Re:SS Mail

Hi Kermit,
You had asked where everyone from Sesame Street was,so I jumped in here :) You starting to lose your mind, little froggie buddy? ;)
Prairie Dawn

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Prarie Dawn
From: Kermit
Subject: Re: SS Mail

No, Prarie I'm just stressed from being locked in the closet for too long.

[McFraggle]

To: Kermit
From: Big Bird
Subject: Re: SS Mail

How's it been Kermit, I'm doing fine.

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Big Bird
From: Kermit
Subject: SS E-mail

I'm doing fine big, except the theater was taken over by imposters and I'm worried about next weeks show.

[McFraggle]

To: Kermit
From: Big Bird
Subject: Re:

Sorry to hear that, hope things get better. If you need help let me know.

[McFraggle]

To: Big Bird
From: Kermit
Subject: Re:

I need help.

[Beauregard]

To: Kermit
From: Big Bird
Re:

Sorry, but I'm headed for new York to try and make it into Children's Television...only kidding.

But seriously, I have a few episodes of SS left to shoot, so I'll have to catch you later.

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Gonzo
From: Kermit
Subject: Magic act

Are you and Robin ready?

[McFraggle]

To: Big Bird
From: Kermit
Subject: Re:

Do you know anybody that can help me?

[Statler]

To: All Muppets
From: Kermit
Subject: Acting weird

Hi ho everyone, kermit the frog here. I would just like to say sorry if i've been action weird...like asking big bird for help...Its just that I really miss the ol' boss, jim...

[Katzi428]

To: All Muppets
From: Kermit
Subject: Acting weird

Hi ho everyone, kermit the frog here. I would just like to say sorry if i've been action weird...like asking big bird for help...Its just that I really miss the ol' boss, jim...
From:Prairie Dawn
To:Kermit
Re:missing Jim
Hi Kermit,
Awww...don't apologize! I think we all miss our buddy & boss Jim.But he's found his rainbow connection & looks down on us a lot!
Hugs(they're friendly hugs, Kermit...so tell Miss P not to get the wrong idea ;) )
Prairie Dawn

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Prarie Dawn
From: Miss Piggy
Subject: Hugs

What do you mean by sending hugs to MY FROG!

[Katzi428]

To: Prarie Dawn
From: Miss Piggy
Subject: Hugs

What do you mean by sending hugs to MY FROG!

From:Prairie Dawn
To:Miss Piggy (a pig with lotsa class that I look up to!)
Awwww Miss Piggy!Kermit & I have been friends since I was a real little girl and he hung out on S.S.! He's the one that helped me learn how to count to 10! :)
Can't you & me be friends?
P.D.

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Prarie Dawn
From: Miss Piggy
Subject: MY FROG!

It depends as long as vous does not have eyes for MY FROG!

[Katzi428]

To: Prarie Dawn
From: Miss Piggy
Subject: MY FROG!

It depends as long as vous does not have eyes for MY FROG!
To:Miss Piggy
From: Prairie Dawn
Subject:YOUR FROG
Dear Miss Piggy,
Kermit's all yours. I promise that I don't have eyes for him. We're friends & that's all .
Prairie Dawn

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Prarie Dawn
From: Kermit
Subject : Piggy

I must apologize for Piggy's actions and even though I consider her my friend, I am not her frog. Very sorry Prarie.

[Katzi428]

To: Prarie Dawn
From: Kermit
Subject : Piggy

I must apologize for Piggy's actions and even though I consider her my friend, I am not her frog. Very sorry Prarie.
From:Prairie Dawn
To: Kermit
It's OK Kerm! I just don't want her to SMGFINF!(Stuff My Girl Face Into The Floor) ;)
Your friend,
Prairie Dawn :)

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Prarie
From Kermit

I don't think she would go that far. ;)

[McFraggle]

To: Rowlf
From: Dr. Teeth
Subject: Jam Band

Would you be interested in playing with the Electric Mayhem at a jam band festival.

[McFraggle]

To: Dr. Teeth
From: Rowlf
Subject: Re:

Count me in, Dr. Teeth.

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Kermit
From: Robin
Subject: Magic Act

Gonzo and I are ready to do our act this weekend. Is that all right?

[Beauregard]

From: Kermit
To: Robin

Subject: WHAT!

What? You and GONZO in a MAGIC act?

[Infinity Sirius]

To: Kermit
From: Robin

You said we could.